I want to be the “Hot Girl”…

Next up…calorie counting!

Posted grneyedmustang on February 9th, 2012 | Filed under dieting | 1 Comment »

So I’ve been feeling lately that my diet needs a swift kick in the rear to get things moving again. I was thinking about Weight Watchers (again!) but Weight Watchers costs $$$ and I am trying to work on eliminating debt this year. So what’s the next best thing? Calorie counting!

I’ve been calorie counting now for the last four days, and it’s been a lot simpler than I thought it would be. I ordered a scale from amazon to see what the correct portion of food looks like. I think it’s because SB was pretty intense in terms of planning food, so this is just taking it a step further. Also, I am only 4 days in. Talk to me in about a month or two and we’ll see how I feel about counting calories! And even though I am counting calories, I am still following a SB based plan - so no white rice, white potatoes, refined sugar, refined flour, etc. etc.

I did have a major “bad” day Superbowl Sunday. I don’t want to rehash what I ate but it was BAD. Not to mention what I drank. I will say that there are no more “holidays” until my birthday (well Easter, but I’m usually pretty well behaved there) so I should not have any excuses for any major derailments. I have not stepped on the scale - and I will not step on the scale until next weekend. I’ll use that as my “weight” to see if I’m making progress, and if the calorie counting is working.

Found out today I’m not losing it…

Posted grneyedmustang on January 24th, 2012 | Filed under depression, relationships, stress | 1 Comment »

So I have a confession…off and on for the last 3 years I’ve been depressed off and on about my dating life.

When I was younger, my parents stressed how much I needed to get and education (I can hear my mom now…when I was 15…keep your mind on them books and off them boys!) - and as I got older, focus on my career and the “rest will fall into place”.

So here it is, I am “kicking 35 in the throat” and I have no prospects. No kids, no boyfriend, no semblance of a boyfriend, nothing. I don’t even have a guy I could call a booty partner! (Not that that’s what I am looking for). So the catch 22 - I have educated and careered myself right out of a man, because now most of the guys want a “project”/”fixer upper” - or the good guys are already married.

All my life, I’ve set goals for myself, and for the most part, I’ve achieved the goals that I’ve set - which the exception of getting below 200 pounds, but that one’s a work in progress.

So the one goal that I’ve set - find a good man - I have not been able to achieve, and it’s driving me crazy. Literally.

I could probably compete with Dr. Phil, Oprah, and Cosmo with the library of books I have on dating and relationships. I have asked many of my friends to give me any feedback (no matter how brutal) on my dating behaviors.

I’m still coming up short.

The list of things that are “wrong” with me as my friends have given it to me:

• Too tall - nothing I can do about this one
• Intimidating (but I’m the nicest person I know! )
• Guys feel “insecure” with me because of my accomplishments
• Guys like to feel needed and they don’t feel needed with me because I don’t “need” anything (but I need love and companionship!)
• Not feminine enough - well I’m feminine when it counts. Yes, I have a BIG personality - I have a big laugh, kind of loud from time to time, sarcastic, corny, extroverted, and outspoken. Whoever I end up with is just going to have to love that part of me, because that is a part of me I’ve worked to develop and I ain’t changing it. (backstory here - I used to be really shy and introverted, because I had extremely low self esteem. Over the years I’ve learned how to “fake it till I make it” - and I still have self esteem issues.) - I will always be “boisterous and outspoken”, though.

New Year - New Goals

Posted grneyedmustang on January 10th, 2012 | Filed under dieting | Comment now »

I know there are a lot of people who don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, but I do. Most of my life, I’ve set goals to make sure I am always working towards something. So here are my New Year’s “Goals” (aka resolutions!)

• Cut down on the alcohol - alcohol is my biggest downfall. I am really trying to cut it out, especially on the weekends, because that’s where I get into trouble.
• Start Meatless Mondays - so far, this has been a HIT! The recipe for lentil tacos was my first “meatless monday”  (http://allrecipes.com/recipe/tasty-lentil-tacos/detail.aspx) and I must say I didn’t miss the meat at all. Not sure what next week’s Meatless Monday will be - right now I’m thinking some sort of veggie pasta.
• Run another race (this will be number 3!)
• Try some new classes at the gym. I love Spin, but I think it’s time to change it up a bit. Tonight, I went to an abs/weights/step aerobic class, and I enjoyed it! I think I’m going to keep doing that one on Tuesdays.
• Get below 240 pounds (first)
• Maybe start Weight Watchers
• Get below 200 pounds
• Non weight related - pay off some credit cards
• Non weight related - keep my apartment cleaner
• Take a vacation! I hardly went anywhere last year except to Philadelphia. This year, I’m going to try and take two or three trips, even if it’s just down to Houston for a weekend.

Race Day!

Posted grneyedmustang on November 6th, 2011 | Filed under dieting | 2 Comments »

Well, my 5k is done. Here are my results:

- Made my initial goal of less than 40 minutes

- Did not make my stretch goal

- Beat last year’s 10K miles per minute average (10k I averaged a 13.38 minute mile. The 5k I averaged a 12.48 minute mile)

All in all, I’m happy with my results. I wished I could have made the 35 minute mark, but I didn’t have very long to train for this race. There was a hill at the beginning which was a KILLER. I am proud to say that I made it all the way up the hill without walking! If this course had have been mostly flat - like another part of the same trail I had been training on - I may have also come a little closer to that 35 minute goal.

I am proud of myself today. Race number two has been added to the belt notches

Here’s a pic, more will be posted once I get them.

My rant - and my hope - yes this big girl does work out…

Posted grneyedmustang on November 5th, 2011 | Filed under South Beach Diet, dieting, running | 1 Comment »

So I stepped on the scale this morning before my workout. I’m pissed at that bitch. I have been busting my ass at the gym (i’ve even been doing 2 a days for the past two weeks!) and I HAVEN’T LOST ONE POUND. :’(

What I am about to say is not PC, but I’m having a moment.

So I’m at the gym, and I see these two skinny girls, “playing” at the gym (you know, the people pretending to work out, but they’re usually too busy talking or texting instead?), and I start thinking about how life is SO NOT FAIR. I would just like to see some results…and in the meantime, I see people who barely try, and are skinny. Or people who eat shit all day, and in the meantime, I gain weight if I even smell it. Or my favorite - people who look at me and assume that I sit around and eat twinkies all day…but then they see me in the gym or on the tracked and are *shocked* (insert gasp here) that the big girl has endurance too!

*SCREAMS*

Ok, rant over.

So tomorrow, I have the 5k that I’ve been training for. I’m confident that I will meet my goal (to complete it in less than 35 minutes).

Wish me luck.

Sorry I’ve been MIA…

Posted grneyedmustang on November 1st, 2011 | Filed under South Beach Diet, depression, dieting, exercise | Comment now »

It’s been A WHILE since I’ve written on my blog (8 months almost). It’s been a very challenging year for me, both physically and mentally. I was dealing with some health issues earlier this year that really took the wind out of my “healthy living” sails and made me extremely depressed. As a result, I have gained 10 pounds and they are holding on to me for dear life. I’m feeling better now (with the aid of St John’s Wort) and am really trying to get back on the wagon.

So, here it is, a year and a few months since I’ve been in Dallas, and I am on job number three. Yikes. The last job I had turned out to be not so great. There were a few major red flags - namely, a mandatory week off without pay and my boss quitting - which let me know it was time to leave. So here I am, with a new job. I started this one in September, and I must admit, it is great. My boss seems to be a really nice, and fair guy. The work life balance is wonderful (unlike the last gig) - it is very rare to work more than a 40 hour work week. I work from home 100%, which means I can wake up at 7:50 and start working in my PJ’s. All in all, life is good

No news to report on the dating front, except for all the idiots I dated this year have turned out to be major duds.

My lineup of this year has consisted of-

• The junk food king (didn’t believe in physical exercise, ate excessive amounts of junk, did not like to be outside, and played video games all day. I like a guy to be active. NOT COMPATIBLE)
• The 43 year old loser  - a very handsome guy, whom I’m sure has coasted through life on his looks. He barely had a job, no car, no place to live, no checking account - I could go on and on. Not to mention despite him being in shape, his “equipment” did not work. And lastly, very selfish…and I really do believe he may have been homeless for real. WTF? Big bucket of fail all around.
• Inconsiderate selfish jackasses numero uno and dos. I like to call them both Laurel and Hardy, Heckle and Jeckle, or GI Joe and Big Bird. GI Joe asked me to crash at my place for a week when he returned from Iraq. He knew I liked him (have known him for years, so if I open up my house to you that has to mean I like you on some kind of level, right????) but did not understand why I was mad at him when he kissed another girl in my face. Numero dos seems to think that he is blameless in any of the problems that happen to him, and had no issue pointing out any of my flaws.

The new year…so far so good…

Posted grneyedmustang on March 9th, 2011 | Filed under dieting | 1 Comment »

This new year has started off pretty good, despite all the upheaval in my life.

Upheaval - I left my old job as a consultant. I decided that being a consultant wasn’t really conducive to living a healthy lifestyle. It was VERY HARD to maintain healthy eating habits and exercise while on the road. Not to mention the fact that coworkers wanted to go out and drink frequently while on the road. Aside from the fact that consulting just wasn’t for me and a few other factors — I decided to look for another job. So here I am, at another job, that doesn’t require nearly as much travel.

Because I got the new job, my commute was 52 miles a day in Dallas traffic. I hate commuting with a passion. I feel like it’s one of the biggest nonsensical time wasters ever. Once I got the job, I immediately set out to find a new place to live closer to the job. So ergo upheaval number two for the year - moving. I moved last week to a spot in Downtown Dallas which is really nice - I love it.

I am definitely a creature of habit, so all this upheaval has thrown my diet and exercise into a tizzy. I don’t know if I’ve gained any weight (I haven’t stepped on the scale since January), but my clothes are not feeling tight. I was also hitting spin class pretty hard before all my upheaval began, and I haven’t totally fallen off the wagon, so I’m hoping that I’ve minimized any damage to my waistline.

So since the end of the year, I’ve done fairly well. I went to Arkansas and back to Atlanta over the holidays to visit my family and I received a ton of comments on how good I looked. My grandmother even told me that I didn’t need to lose any more weight or otherwise I’d be too skinny (I beg to differ on that one). My new 3fc avatar pic was actually taken during my vacation. I love that pic, I think it looks very nice and “modely”…LOL.  I also wonder if my newfound glow has something to do with the relocation to Dallas? I will say that I am a lot happier here in Dallas than I was when I left Atlanta. I was pretty unhappy with things when I left Atlanta. Here, I’m feeling a lot better, I think it has to do with a number of factors, but I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. As far as the dating goes, I am dating on a regular basis, but no serious contenders as of yet. There was one who came close, but he really pissed me off right before I moved, and didn’t help one iota during the move, so he’s been cut from the team.

I had a major NSV yesterday. I’ve always wanted to shop in White House Black Market, but I felt like I was too big for their clothes. I went in there yesterday with a coworker and fell in LOVE with a shirt. I tried on the shirt and it fit (it was a size XL) - and in fact, it was almost too big! I was talking to the sales associate about the shirt, and she tells me that I look like I could probably wear quite a few items in the store in a size L - that XL’s would probably be too big!

This is the shirt in question:

I’m going back to get that shirt on Friday.

Next stop - Express - I’ve always wanted to shop there for work clothes, but once again, I think I’ve been too big.

I need to be more positive, cuz that 6 pounds is gone!

Posted grneyedmustang on December 17th, 2010 | Filed under dieting | 1 Comment »

I’m sad…

Posted grneyedmustang on December 4th, 2010 | Filed under dieting | 1 Comment »

So earlier this week, I decided that I was going to visit my old friend Spin Class. I haven’t been to Spin Class in probably a year. I’ve been thinking about it the past couple of weeks, because I feel it’s time to change up my exercise routine. I’ve actually been a little scared to go, because 1) I’m in a new gym, in a new state, and don’t know anyone (familiarity makes me feel comfortable) and 2) I haven’t been to Spin in forever! Will I feel like I’m going to die when I try it again?

Well, today I finally made the plunge back into Spin. I had a great time in the class…it was challenging but now physically I feel great. So what’s the matter with me?

Well, right before I went to class, I stepped on the scale and got a very UGLY number. 244. OUCH. I don’t think I’ve seen that weight in almost two years.

I’m not going to lie, I’m sitting here very sad. 6 pounds in one month? YIKES. How is that even possible? It is TOM for me so I am HOPING that is what is causing this weight gain.

So I have decided that I really need to focus on getting these last FIFTY plus pounds off.

1- Exercise 1000+ minutes per month (and I’m doing better gymwise, I almost made 1000 last month!)

2 - Eat on plan

3 - Do a 4/3 of “rich” vs “clean” foods. Let me explain this one. I LOVE to cook. I think this is one of the areas I’m struggling with the diet. I haven’t been really measuring out unlimited foods, and sometimes, I cook foods with a lot of “ingredients”. For example, for dinner, I may have homemade chicken marsala, a side of caesar salad, and SBD mashed potatoes. Each one of those has a LOT of ingredients. I think I am going to scale back and try to eat “clean” 3 or 4 days a week. A “clean” meal would be - for example, broiled fish, steamed asparagus, and salad with vinaigrette dressing. Hopefully that makes sense to the two people that read my blog

4 - No RESTRICTED FOODS in the house. So far on my “restricted list”: Chocolate (I know it’s allowed in small quantities on phase II, but I can’t have them in the house, because if I have a bad day, I’ll binge), Wine, Alcohol, Peanuts (waffling on this one. I love nuts but sometimes they make me “bingey”), Pecans, Flavored Triscuits, Pita Chips.

5 - Try to eat before 9pm. THIS IS A HUGE ISSUE FOR ME. I eat extremely late. I really need to work on this one!

So I’m off to find “dietary inspiration” in some of the reading and weight loss materials I have around the house. I’m trying to do two workouts a day, occasionally, so I’m going to shoot for another workout later today.  I have even toyed with the idea of rejoining weight watchers but I LOATHE counting points.

Gotta.Get.Back.In.Gym.On.Regular.Basis

Posted grneyedmustang on November 3rd, 2010 | Filed under depression, exercise, weight loss | 1 Comment »

1. I have been having one hell of a time staying in the gym on a regular basis. I don’t know what’s wrong with me! This is how it usually goes: Monday, I don’t go…because the start to the work week was tough. Tuesday…I don’t go…because I need to catch up on stuff around the house due to the rough Monday I had. Wednesday is usually when I get the steam to go. Thursday is hit or miss. By Friday, I realize that the week has gone by and get my ass to the gym. Saturday is a no brainer. I love working out on Saturday mornings. There is hardly anyone there and I don’t feel “time restricted” since I don’t have anywhere to be on Saturday. Sundays are hit or miss too. Some Sundays I hit the gym (and I like working out on Sunday too because of the same reasons for Saturday)…but my downfall - Sunday is generally my rest and relaxation day so I don’t always make the gym on Sunday.

Since I seem to be having consistency issues with the gym, I figured I’d put together some post-its to help remind me as to why I need to go. Then I decided I’d have it on my blog too…in case I lose the post-its or something. So here goes:

Top ten reasons not to skip the gym:

1. The more you skip, the more painful and “challenging” (and not in a good way) it will be when you go back. You’ll have to indulge in the ben-gay, the more time you spend away from the gym.
2. Exercise helps depression.
3. Where else do you get to hear your favorite party tunes and pretend that you’re “dancing”?
4. You feel good after working out.
5. It helps you stay ahead of the curve - e.g. you won’t have to play “weight loss catch up” if you’re in the gym. “Weight loss catch up” is that game I unintentionally play after holidays and such, where you have to lose an additional 5 to 10 pounds on top of the 30 more I have to go.
6. Does the number 200 look good to you? What about 180?
7. Do the sizes 20w/22w mean anything to you? How about the size “12 wide”?
8. (Sidebar with #7) Do you want to HAVE to shop on the “big girls” side of the store again?
9. Don’t you like showing off the fact that you can run, do 40 minutes on the elliptical (at a nice pace/resistance too!) despite the fact that you’re not a size 6?
10. Do the words high blood sugar/cholesterol/blood pressure mean anything to you?

Motivation…

Posted grneyedmustang on September 29th, 2010 | Filed under dieting | 1 Comment »

So here I am. Been gone for a while. This has been a hectic summer. Over the last four months, I have:

• Run a 10k (good)
• Changed jobs (good)
• Moved to Texas (good)
• Went on a Cruise (good and bad)
• traveled a lot for work (good and bad)

So because of all this going on, my eating and exercising has not been the best. I am happy I haven’t gained a lot, but I have put on 7 pounds (as of today).

I went back to Phase I. Had the “SBD FLU” for two days…it totally sucked. After those were up, though, I felt a hell of a lot better. I’ve been in the gym pretty regularly this month. My goal was to hit 800 minutes. If I go today and tomorrow (I am! I am! I tell ya!) then I should make my exercise goal for the month. Next month I am going to shoot for 1000.

Trying to stay motivated!!! I’d really like to get under 200 pounds in the next year.

Me, +1. Peachtree Road Race, 0.

Posted grneyedmustang on July 6th, 2010 | Filed under dieting | 1 Comment »

I FINISHED MY FIRST RACE ON JULY 4, 2010!!!

I ran the 2010 Peachtree Road Race on July 4. My official finish time was 83 minutes. I had a goal set to complete it in 90 minutes so I am VERY HAPPY that I was under my goal time. I was able to run the first 3 miles without walking so I feel like all that training paid off. And I don’t know if this is wrong, but two of my friends also ran in the race this year. I beat both of them

I’ve been using couch to 5k to train for this race. IT WORKED FOR ME AND CAN WORK FOR YOU. So anyone aspiring to be a runner, if I can do it, you can!

Here’s a few photos from the race:

I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF!

A life update…

Posted grneyedmustang on June 11th, 2010 | Filed under dieting, exercise, running, vacation, weight loss | Comment now »

Had a lot going on these past few weeks, so I thought I’d drop in for an update!

Firstly, me and Fat Smash didn’t work out, so I’m back on the Beach. I think I may have to start reducing my portions and such if the scale continues not to move. I do think that Fat Smash did instill a basic tenet that I have forgotten over the last few years - fruit is my friend (in moderation).

I went to Playa Del Carmen, Mexico, on May 29 and came back to Atlanta June 5. I had a WONDERFUL time. The people were really nice, the resort and beach were beautiful, the food was good (I had some wonderful martinis while I was on vacation), I got plenty of rest, and for the cherry on top - I don’t know how, but I managed to lose a pound when I weighed in after my return!!!! Maybe it has to do with my latest venture - training for the Peachtree Road Race.

The Peachtree Road Race is less than a month away. It’s a 10k that’s held every year here in Atlanta. I’ve never run a race, much less at 10k! I’ve been “running” since March, but this week I started midway in the Couch to 5k Program to help me train. Usually on Saturdays I try to run for an hour to help build my endurance. My goal is to run the Peachtree in less than 90 minutes. Wish me luck! I have not stepped on the scale this week but I feel like the running is helping me lose even more…maybe not pounds but inches. We’ll see.

In other “life news” - I am trying to make a shift in terms of my professional life. Can’t say much about it now, but I’ll keep my two readers posted

My new gym

Posted grneyedmustang on April 30th, 2010 | Filed under dieting | Comment now »

So, for my birthday, Bally’s wished me a happy 33rd birthday with an increase in my membership fees. NICE. This was the last straw. From the nasty locker rooms, to the lack of equipment, to the cutting of my spin class, to the unprofessionalism of Bally’s employees, to the constantly broken equipment, to the shady business practices (just google Bally’s billing issues and you’ll see a wealth of information, or go to the better business bureau and you’ll really see how the public feels), to the issue of them being a habitual bankruptcy filer - I had HAD it with Bally’s. This was the final straw. My company has a deal with LA Fitness where I don’t have to sign a contract or pay an initiation fee - just $30 per month, taken out of my paycheck in $15 increments. I decided to ditch Bally’s and give LA fitness a shot.

So I joined on Monday, and I had a “free session” with a personal trainer. The trainer was decent, he had me working out muscles I have apparently “forgetten about” over the years…but then, of course, he tries to sell me personal training sessions that I cannot afford. So in order to get out of the hard high pressure sales pitch, and the fact that I don’t like the location that I went to initially (its close to my house, but I noticed that there were a million people in there working out - so many people that they were waiting in line for cardio machines) - I decided to go to the location close to my job. I am glad I made the decision!

Pros of LA Fitness:

• Classes galore! I truly miss my Spin class…which was one of the reasons I was happy to ditch Ballys.
• A LOT of cardio machines
• A LOT of free weight machines
• Locations everywhere!
• Nice personnel/employees
• Nice clean facilities
• Not many pieces of broken/non functional equipment
• More recent models of equipment
• More varieties of weights
• Basketball courts! Not that I’m trying to relive my basketball player days, but the option is there

Changing it up temporarily…

Posted grneyedmustang on April 20th, 2010 | Filed under Fat smash, dieting, exercise | Comment now »

Sorry it’s been awhile since my last post. Pollen season this year totally put me on my ass. I haven’t been working out on a regular schedule since I have been at home, in the bed, with a serious case of cabin fever. My lovely primary care physician even gave me a shot for allergies…this is the first year pollen has ever taken me out like this! But anyhoo –

Since I seem to have hit some sort of plateau, or I think I need to add a little change to my life, I have decided to take a temporary hiatus from South Beach. Don’t get me wrong, I love South Beach and totally think I could stick with it for the rest of my life…but I think I might need to change it up just a tad and go in a little bit (not a lot) of a different direction for a while. I also think that I might have been eating too many calories even though I was eating SBD friendly foods. So about a week ago, I started the Fat Smash Diet. I’ll eventually return to “the beach” but I think this temporary change will do me some good.

This is not my first run in with Fat Smash. I tried Extreme Fat Smash a few years back and it ended up being a “smashing disaster”. By day three, I was SO SICK of brown rice and beans it was RIDICULOUS. I think that my headspace was in a different place then, and also, my “palate of edible foods” was a lot more limited, so that’s why I ended up crashing and burning sooooo hard when I tried it a few years ago. I am on day four and I feel pretty good, and I’m down a pound which is a HUGE plus! Plus, I’ve actually grown to love brown rice. I have figured out the type of brown rice you buy makes all the difference. I now buy short grain brown rice from the farmer’s market and it tastes wonderful.

So now, a “splurge meal” is broiled salmon and a caesar salad, that used to be a “normal meal” for me. I don’t know how many calories I was ingesting because on South Beach you don’t count calories, but that, combined with the other meals I was eating, I think I was eating between 2000 and 2200 calories a day. Since I’ve been on Fat Smash, it’s usually been between 1200 and 1500 a day. I think that may have something to do with why I wasn’t losing even though I’ve been busting my ass in the gym!

Wish me luck…one month and nine days until Mexico. I’d love to be down to 230 by then, but my birthday is between now and then which is going to require serious willpower.

And another little NSV…I went back to Stone Mountain, and got done in 66 minutes. I trimmed four minutes off my time…even though there were parts of the run where I felt like I was going to die and I was actually thinking I was doing worse than the first time I ran! I’m running the Peachtree Road Race in July, so I’m hoping to get down to a ten minute mile before then.

My NSV from the weekend

Posted grneyedmustang on March 23rd, 2010 | Filed under 2010, NSVs, exercise, running, weight loss | Comment now »

Since I’ve been on the latest edition of my weight loss quest (since 2008), one of my favorite outdoor exercise activities has been to go to Stone Mountain (see here): and walk, hike, bike, swim, whatever (it’s also a really nice place for a date, but that’s a conversation for another day). You can go up the mountain which is roughly 1.5 miles, or around the mountain, which is 5.2 miles.  I used to go with my friend Angela, who has since moved to Curacao, but I haven’t been in a while since she moved, because she had a parking pass (free parking! Yay!) and I lived so far out. I have since moved, and I decided that once our long, miserable winter was over, I would go buy my own parking pass so I could start making trips to Stone Mountain on a regular basis since I live a lot closer now, and the parking passes are only $35 for the year. Well, I went for the first time in 2010 on Saturday morning, and decided I would walk/run the trails around the mountain. I made it around the mountain in 70 minutes, which used to take 90 minutes (I was with her, so we probably were chatting part of the way, but we also tried to keep up a really good pace while walking).

I’m very proud of myself. One guy even gave me a high five as I was running up a hill while making my trek! This also inspired me to run some sort of race this year. I tried to get into the Peachtree Road Race, but I was unable to get registered online. I am going to see if I am one of the random 10000 people that is picked by mail. But if I don’t get into the peachtree, I am going to try and find another race to run before the summer is up.

I haven’t stepped on the scale recently, but I notice my clothes are feeling better. I think I am going to wait until the first week of April to weigh myself again.

I am also going to see if I can trim some minutes off that time…maybe in five minute increments? 65 minutes? We’ll see.

By George, I think I’ve got it!!!!

Posted grneyedmustang on March 16th, 2010 | Filed under South Beach Diet, dieting, self image, weight loss | Comment now »

So I really have been trying to get my mojo back, and I think I’ve got it.

I stopped drinking at the beginning of the month. I have lost 3 pounds so far since I stopped drinking and have been hitting the gym really hard!!!! I set a workout goal for this month of 800 minutes (low for me, but I haven’t been consistent since January). Well, it’s the 16th and I’m at 618 minutes, so I think I’m going to blow 800 minutes out of the water! I am feeling really good about myself today. I don’t know if it’s the post gym endorphins, the lovely CD I am sitting here listening to, the fact that I’m excited about dinner (SBD friendly kung pao chicken with LOTS of veggies), but I am feeling GREAT right now.

I think I had an “ah ha” moment at work last week as well - I have been having MAJOR issues and drama at work, and it’s really been stressing/depressing me. Well, I have a huge habit of taking things personally, so I read these articles online about how not to take things so personally, and they seem to be working:

http://www.christian-mommies.com/special-features/just-for-moms/do-you-take-things-personally-learn-how-not-to/

http://christinekane.com/blog/how-to-not-take-things-personally-a-practical-guide/

These articles, especially the first one, seem to really turn the light on for me. So when my boss comes at me, acting stupid, or fires off an ugly email that would have ruined my day in the past, I just tell myself that “It’s NOT about ME.”  Sometimes I have to say it over and over again, but I really do think it helps.

I’m off to fix dinner. That IS about me and keeping me healthy

I’m trying to get my mojo back again…

Posted grneyedmustang on March 4th, 2010 | Filed under South Beach Diet, depression, dieting, exercise, weight loss | 1 Comment »

I’ve been MIA for quite a while. Just a quick status update:

I am really trying to get my South Beach Diet Mojo back. I will say that I haven’t gained a LOT of weight, but I have put on approximately ten pounds. I guess that’s okay, considering I’ve been on the beach since 2008. That does signify that I haven’t completely reverted back to the way I used to eat and that I have made some changes overall in the way I eat, so I’m proud of myself. However, I can’t get ahead of myself and start thinking that “I’ve arrived” because I am far from it. So here’s where I’ve slipped over the past few months:

• The holidays. Nuff said. I have had enough homemade cheesecake during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s to get me in a WORLD of hurt. I think my saviors were the gym, and when I knew I was going to blow it (i.e. New Year’s Eve, etc.) I really tried to watch what I was eating before the event.
• WORK. Ugh. I am having a super stressful time at work and really trying to deal with it without turning to emotional eating. I am definitely an emotional eater - either I lose my appetite completely (this is usually when I’m depressed, and with me, stress and depression usually go hand in hand) or I want to eat sweets. Which brings me to my next bullet -
• Girl Scout Cookies. WHY WHY WHY do I do this to myself? Two weeks ago, I fought with a box of thin mints. I won the battle, but I’m sure they won the war if I step on the scale. I have two more boxes at work, just sitting there, and I think I’m going to give (most) of them away. I also decided that next year I’m not buying ANY AT ALL. Sorry Girl Scouts of America, next year you WILL NOT TEMPT ME. I’ll make a donation or something - maybe I’ll buy a few boxes and send them to the troops - but THEY WILL NOT BE IN MY HOUSE IN 2011.
• The Gym. I’ve been doing this whole weight loss thing long enough to know I do NOT lose without working out. I also know that I feel much better mentally and physically when I work out. So why is it so hard for me to go to the gym? Especially since I’ve been under so much stress at work, I only want to come home and play with my new boyfriend - my (new) playstation 2. Don’t laugh…
• Alcohol. Ok, I have determined that drinking on the weekends is killing my weight loss (and probably my liver as well). Just kidding, but hanging out with the girls is hampering my weight loss. I have decided that I am not drinking until my birthday - and even then, it will only be wine. So that means there will be NO WINE, NO VODKA, NO LEMON DROP MARTINIS. I think my waist and my wallet will thank me on this one.
• Depression. All this stress I have been under has me feeling very depressed. Not to mention other things going on in my life - most notably, I found out about a month ago that I have female pattern baldness and am losing my hair. I have started injections (hopefully no side effects, please) but my dermatologist informed me I may never have a full head of hair again and may have to wear wigs for the rest of my life. I am trying not to be bummed out about it and think positive, but it still sucks sometimes. I am on blood pressure medication and one of the side effects is hair loss; it would be nice if I lost enough weight to come off of it and my hair would come back. We’ll see.

So I’m back on the beach…wish me luck…because life is really testing me right now. I booked a LOVELY vacation to Playa Del Carmen in Mexico for May, so there’s even more reason for me to behave myself and lose more weight.

Fat Girls Have Their Dreams Fulfilled too…

Posted grneyedmustang on September 28th, 2009 | Filed under South Beach Diet, dieting, exercise, self image, weight loss | 2 Comments »

I’ve been MIA quite a bit lately. Frankly, I’ve been trying to get my South Beach Mojo back. All summer, I’ve been very inconsistent with the eating and exercise. One week, I’ll be on point - eating all my veggies, leaving the sugar alone, hitting the gym like I should, but then the next week, life gets in the way - I’ll be tired, have a dentist appointment and feel like shit, or have a rough day at work, and just “cain’t get rite” for the week. Luckily, I think I’ve changed my eating habits in a major way - so blowing it now isn’t the same as blowing it three years ago. Blowing it now means that I ate too many triscuits, instead of a whole pack of cookies. It’s still blowing it, but definitely no where near as calorically devastating as eating a half a pack of Publix cupcakes, which is something I would have done in 2003.

So on to this past weekend. I am a HUGE Chico Debarge fan. I found out he was coming to town, the tickets were inexpensive, and I couldn’t get the sorry ass guy I was dating (notice that verb is past tense) to take me, so I bought a ticket and went. OMG. That was $25 WELL SPENT. He was there with Anthony David…the show was EXCELLENT. Anthony David put on a great show - I went to amazon.com Saturday night and bought his CD. I highly recommend it. So onto the best part.

OOooooooooo Chico. So in his second song, he points at me and winks. I am cheesing at this point. So during the last song, he points at me again and asks me to come up to the stage. I am on cloud nine at this point. So I go up to the stage and stand with him a while, in complete shock. Nothing like this has ever happened to me in my entire LIFE. I finally get out of my dazed and confused state and dance with him! The whole way home, I was astonished. Here I am, and I’m thinking that I must have made a hell of an impression for him to pick me out of the crowd like that.

I think that was just the spark that I needed to get back on the right diet track, especially because I found out today that some of it was videotaped by someone in the audience and it is NOW ON YOUTUBE (the big girl in the black shirt and blue jeans,  dancing with him at the very beginning and taking a pic toward the end is me):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAw7Au41rgs

So I guess this was a bittersweet pill to swallow. I met the man of my dreams in person and danced with him! And he actually seems like a “nice” celebrity, not one that was full of himself. But the bitter part is - even though I’ve lost 50 pounds, that pic on youtube reminded me that I have a LONG way to go. I feel like the picture of myself in my head doesn’t match what I really look like. I thought i was smaller than that! That’s the way I thought I looked when I weighed 278, but then I saw one of my friend’s bridal party pictures from when I weighed 278….I was HUGE. Take a look for yourself - this is the pic I speak of (I’m on the left):

I still have a LOOOOOOOOOONG way to go.

P.S. Chico Debarge, I just want you to know that you’ve fulfilled this fat girl’s dreams. I thank you for that. I could never imagine in a million years that someone like you would even notice someone like me.

Thank you. It definitely makes my self esteem seem a little higher. So as a celebrity, I hope you always remember that a simple wink, a smile, a hug, a dance - might actually make someone feel better about themselves. You never know what kind of impact you might have on someone. So I’d like to let you know that those few minutes you spent with me at the concert, have had a lifetime impact, and I’ll NEVER forget them, or you. And you have my full support…I will ALWAYS be a Chico Debarge fan. You made me feel like a hot girl…even if it was only for one night.

Check this out!!!

Posted grneyedmustang on August 19th, 2009 | Filed under South Beach Diet, self image, weight loss | 1 Comment »

So, a friend of mine asked me to send him a recent picture of me the other day. I chose a picture that I had taken after working out one day. I haven’t quite mastered getting a “full body shot” alone in a picture, so I don’t have very many. But in this pic, I noticed that there is a reflection of my body in the mirror. When I noticed it, I thought to myself “is that me”???? I actually have a shape! Defined hips! And my stomach isn’t taking up my entire midsection anymore!!!

Look in the background, in the mirror, and you can see it:

Wow, I can’t believe that’s really MY BODY…I actually have a shape!!!

This may be just the motivation I need to get it into gear again. There’s another one of those parties this weekend though with all my friends and the knockoff publix cake made by yours truly…which will require two more weeks of phase I after Saturday.

*Sigh…* I know I can’t live in isolation forever…but it’s ten times harder to remain on plan when hanging out with my friends and making that dayum cake! And they’re not the “reinforcers of the diet”…so to speak, so they’re forever telling me “just one slice of cake/pizza won’t hurt! Just one martini won’t hurt!”