Love the good life, hate the 50 pounds it’s added

I am back. This time to stay, hopefully. I’ve not put on too much weight (thankfully) in the last couple of months. If anything, I’ve lost some. Am currently at 172 pounds. Lightest that I have been in many years. Since I am starting again after such a long time I am going to reassign my goals. So here goes my short term goal:

(March 1- 172 pounds)

April 1- 168 pounds

May 1- 164 pounds

Also, I’m finally getting serious about exercising. Yesterday I checked out the two gyms that are close to my place (walkable distance, long walks though). I liked one, though it’s much more expensive than the other. But it smelt nicer (yeah, I can be weird about such things) and I saw some good looking people (whatever will motivate me to get myself out of bed every morning). Tomorrow I’ll go for a trial. And Monday I start. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. I’m learning the Salsa (one hour per session, Saturdays and Sundays). Have completed two months. And though I may not have lost any weight, I sure have a skip in my walk.

I weighed myself today morning and the scales settled in at 178 pounds. Thank God. I don’t know if it’s been fluctuations, but the weight gain has been pretty traumatic. And while my weight is still more than my lowest a couple of months ago, it’s out of the dreaded 180s. So darlings, am back on track and motivated.

I have been reading up a lot the last couple of days and have realised that c25k is not for me. Yeah, I was pretty gung-ho about it. But the thing is that c25k aims to get a person from the couch to running 5 kms. Frankly, I don’t intend to run any marathons. I don’t want to start running either. My objective, plain and simple, is to lose weight. And c25k doesn’t promise weight loss. Yeah, some pounds may come off by default. But really, an hour and a half of exercise a week won’t help the pounds come off that easy. Hence, I realised that I need to exercise more and maybe around 5-6 times a week. So I am going to stick to plain old walking. Needless to say, after all my justifying to myself that c25k is not for me, I didn’t go for today’s run. And neither did I go for a walk. Agreed that I got to bed only after midnight (as usual) and was feeling too lazy and tired to get up in the morning. But it really is my fault. I just can’t sleep early. I was watching Jerry McGuire for like the hundredth time, just because it was showing on cable. I should have just gone to bed. I basically need to change my lifestyle. That’s the only way. Next Monday for sure.

I like starting things on a Monday. Don’t know why, but I do. And it’s a silly thing, because suppose I miss Monday for some reason I wait a full week for the next Monday. Silly me. Anyways, next Monday is on. Unless, I get up from the wrong side of bed and go for a walk tomorrow. Oh and I bought a pedometer a couple of months back and still haven’t figured out how to use it. Yeah!  I know, I know. Am pathetic. So I hereby promise to figure it out before Monday.

I couldn’t help it. I just had a whole packet of choco-nut cookies. I figured that if I keep dreaming about them and deny myself, I’ll probably binge on other things and add the same weight. However, it wasn’t at satisfying as one would think. For one, they were over in a jiffy. Secondly, it was 41g carbs and 340 calories. Why do I do this to myself? Why? Why? Why?

The scales seem to be stuck at 182, even after three days. Which probably means that I actually have gained 5 pounds and it is not water weight, etc as I was hoping it to be.

I went for my D2W2 of c25k today morning, but I had such a bad headache that my head felt like it would burst every time I attempted to run. So I decided to do it tomorrow. Headaches can be such a problem with me, as I have migraine and sinus problems. And once I start getting headaches it can get pretty bad. I’ve lost hours and days, lying in pain unable to move at all because of my spinning head. Anyways, the point being that I didn’t even get any exercise today.

And now I am dying to eat something sinful and fattening. A pack of chocolate cookies. Or a tub of ice-cream. But I won’t. I will control. I will not give in.

Looks like I won’t achieve my initial target of 154 pounds in time for my brother’s wedding in Feb. But I will definitely try to do 165 pounds. I can do it if I am strong. I can.

And so, I weighed in at a freaking 182 pounds today. Yes, I did go to a food festival yesterday and had lots of free chocolates, cheeses and some beer and wine. But that’s almost five pounds more that my last weigh in. Five pounds! Obviously my body is more sensitive to excesses than I thought. It’s damn unfair. Five bloody pounds. So I guess I am back to keeping tab on every morsel that I eat. It seems like the last few months have been in vain. I have just been going up and down the same five pounds.

On a happier note, I have completed my first week of c25k. Today I started on my second week. And boy, was I panting or what. Which is surprising, as there isn’t much difference in week 1 and week 2. I guess the weekend was hectic and I should have rested more. I think I am going to start doing more than just 3 days a week, if I can. I am apprehensive about becoming too compulsive about the exercising. I know my pattern. I always start off with such a bang and then I just cannot sustain it.  So I invariably taper off in about a month and then completely give up. So this time I really wanted to start slow and build up the tempo. But three times a week just doesn’t seem like enough exercise to me.

Anyways, am a little low today. Five pounds can really pull you down. I wonder if I could have gained some weight because I started exercising. But it’s unlikely as I have actually just done four days.

I need to see the scales dip back. Really fast. This is as demotivating as it gets!

Despite my enthusiasm to start blogging again, I have not managed to post for almost three weeks since. Initially I was busy at work catching up on the back-log, having been out travelling for a month. And then with the terrorist attacks in Mumbai I was too caught up in the whole emotional upheaval. We were right in the middle of the attacks and lived through (heard from our house) every blast and every round of firing. It was horrible. So many lives lost, uselessly. So many people affected, some of my relatives had very close escapes.

Anyways, to get back to the point of this blog. I cheated like crazy because of all the stress. It was an E3 week (emotional-eating-extreme week).

Have tried to control since last weekend. My weight has been fluctuating between 176 and 178. So at least I am down a few pounds since I returned.

On a positive note, I started exercising. Thankfully.

I have decided to do the c25k program. Don’t know anybody who does it India so I’m still a little unclear about it. I have downloaded the programme from coolrunning.com. But the funda of three days a week (a total of one and half hours in a week) seems too little exercise to make any difference. But am going to try it and then increase the frequency accordingly.

So, today I did the second day of week 1. I was feeling a little sore in some places but I pushed myself. Am quite proud that I have actually managed to put in two days of exercise this week. I am going to try and stick to this. Wish me luck.

And if you have any info/ tips to give me on running, I would be grateful.

I haven’t posted for quite a while. I’ve been too busy and too lazy to post. Last week was a long four-day weekend (took a couple of days off as my brother came to visit). Also, as it was my birthday last Thursday, we had an extended birthday celebration. As a result, my tenth week weigh-in showed an increase. I weighed in at 179.5 pounds, which is a pity as I’d touched 176 last Tuesday. Anyways, I’m back to behaving myself and sticking to the diet. I am yet to start exercising. I’d told myself that I’d start after my periods but I finished with it last week and I’m still not exercising. Maybe next Monday I shall start.

Am feeling a little nervous about continuing my weight loss because I’ll be traveling and working out of another city for 3 weeks starting end of October, which means it’ll be extremely difficult for me to either keep a control over my diet, or even to exercise. I hope I don’t put back the weight (losing further maybe too much to ask under the circumstances).

While I want to keep losing weight, I’ve been feeling really really tired to make any effort. I thought this was just a phase but it’s already been two-three weeks of feeling this indifferent. Except for last week, I’ve more or less stuck to the diet, but that also I’ve done because its simply become a habit to eat that way. I am feeling tired or indifferent to do anything different or anything more. When will I snap out of this?