Love the good life, hate the 50 pounds it’s added

I kind of over did the food last week. On Friday I ate a sumptuous meal of pork ribs in barbeque sauce with garlic bread. Yummy! AND I also had a scoop of chocolate ice cream. Terrible, I know. But, the funny thing is that I can no longer binge the way I used to. Earlier I would have a minimum of two scoops of ice-cream, if not a half kg tub (which used to be my standard ice-cream serving). And now, it’s rare that I have more than one scoop. I actually feel sick. And between feeling sick and feeling guilty I just can’t over eat the way I used to. And I really feel great about it. This is one change about me that I am proud of.

In addition to indulging myself on food, I was also fairly lazy last week about gym. I managed to go only thrice, which is pretty bad. This week I must go at least the 5 times I had promised myself when I started gymming. Btw, I am planning to upgrade my one-month membership to three months.

My weight’s up today. It must be a result of less exercise and more food. Need to correct it before it goes up any further.

Weight: 170.5 lbs

Exercise: 25 mins arc trainer + 20 mins treadmill + 10 mins bike + ab crunches + stretches + 15 mins walk to gym

I’ve been lazy today. A family friend of mine has been visiting the city. His band performed last night at a very popular and posh club. So, I obviously went there, to express my support. To cut a long story short, it was a late night. And while I didn’t cheat on food and stuck to the two glasses of red wine allowed in my diet, it got really late. I put my morning alarm with full intentions to go to the gym. But when the alarm rang, I had had just four hours of sleep. So I just switched it off and went back to sleep. I know I should probably feel guilty. But I don’t. And that’s because I know I’ll get right back on the wagon. I am not going to slip like I have in the past. Because this time, I am genuinely enjoying the exercise and the results.

The good news is that I weighed myself and I’m still the same as yesterday. So maybe, just maybe, I have finally arrived into the 160s

Weight: 169.5 lbs

Exercise: Only the twisting around in my sleep

I weighed in at 169.5 pounds today. Yipeee! The 160s at last. Welcome welcome. I have been looking forward to you my dear friend for a long long time. Pls stay awhile. Not too long though, as I am looking forward to hosting the 150s.

On a serious note, I feel happy and light. And I am less than 2 pounds away from my April 1st target. And though I have worked hard for these last couple of pounds, I must admit that the credit largely goes to Eileen. There’s no way I would have been so serious about eating right and exercising if it wasn’t for the March challenge. So, thank you Eileen.

Weight today: 169.5 lbs

Exercise: 15 mins elliptical + 45 mins weights + 15 mins treadmill + stretches + 15 mins walk to gym (that means 1 and half stars for exercise!)

Today was strength training day at the gym. I was doing lateral extensions (or something that sounds that fancy) and the trainer kept telling me ‘Chest up, chest up, chest up’. I got so frustrated I wanted to tell him “I am thirty and my chest is sagging, I can’t help it. Yes, I would love to have my 21 yr old chest back and trust me that was UP” So anyways, I just gritted my teeth and put my chest as up as possible. Seriously, I am looking better now than I have in many many years, but I can’t deny the sagging, the wrinkles, and the cellulite. Ah well, I can wear clothes that cover the cellulite and an underwire bra and keep smiling so that people think my wrinkles are just laugh lines. Hee hee (I am smiling already). Have a good day everybody.

Weight: 171.5 pounds

Exercise: 10 mins elliptical + 30 mins strength training + 20 mins treadmill + stretches + 15 min walk to gym

Today is Friday. Yippee! Two days of rest (from work and gym) and two days of dancing (it’s amazing how much I look forward to salsa classes over the weekend). So anyways, as I was saying, today is Friday, which means Friday dressing. I am wearing jeans and a white long-sleeved t-shirt which, I too must admit, is looking pretty damn good. You know, it’s amazing, what the loss of 20 + pounds has done to my morale and confidence. Of course, I have a long way to go. But I am already liking the way I look now. Better, much better.

I was thinking today, on the way to work, how fat puts people off. And if I am honest I too will admit that I don’t find fat men attractive. A little paunch, I may still overlook. But fat men, I do tend to ignore. I know it’s a mean thing to judge people by their appearance. But I am not talking about liking fat people. I have a lot of friends who are over-weight/fat and I love them for who they are. I am just talking about animal male-female attraction.

And that makes me wonder how many people have been put off by my being so fat.  The strange thing is that these last few years I didn’t really realise how fat I had become. Sure, I knew I wasn’t thin. But I didn’t realise that I was looking obese. I look at pictures of me in the last few years and I actually cringe.

My need to lose weight isn’t to attract people or to get compliments. I am secure enough a person. But I do need to loose weight to feel good, to feel healthy. For myself. Although it’s good to know that people aren’t looking at me and judging me because I am fat.

God! I just can’t stop talking/writing today. Shall stop right here, right now. Have a great day ladies.

Today’s weight: 172 pounds

Exercise: 55 minutes cardio + 5 mins abs + stretches + 15 mins walk to gym

Today’s been pretty relaxed. Went to the gym like the good girl I am. Today was weights and I am really enjoying it, specially because I do like 15 reps for 30 seconds and rest for 2 mins and start again. So by the end of it I just don’t feel like I have exercised. But apparently I am, or at least that’s what the trainer’s assured me.

My extra two pounds of yesterday has dropped as miraculously as it appeared. I kind of like such fluctuations. The joy of seeing your weight drop after a day of sheer frustration is something else. And don’t I just sound like a complete masochist.

Weight: 172 pounds

Exercise: 10 mins elliptical + 45 mins strength training + 5 mins stretches + 15 min walk to gym

This picture was taken a few days back. I am tip-toeing and stretching so my upper body looks really really long. But I don’t look that fat. So, yay!

Went to the gym in the morning. And though in the past I’ve always been very enthusiastic in the first couple of weeks (so my enthusiasm this time is not surprising), I’m still happy that I am pushing myself to be regular. The disappointing bit is that I weighed in 2 pounds heavier today morning. I don’t understand why. I have not cheated on food and I have been exercising. Unless, for some reason my muscles are retaining water from exercising or something. Is that even biologically possible? Anyways, I’m not going to let myself get demotivated. I am going to push myself.

From today onwards I am going to post my weight and exercise everyday. Hopefully it’ll help.

Oh and I have decided to take on Eileen’s  (http://3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/eileen2blean/) challenge. And yay! It is exciting, and definitely a good reason to keep one in control.

Weight: 174

Exercise: 50 mins of cardio + abs + stretches + 15 mins walk to gym

Today was strength training day at the gym. As it was my first day, I did very little. And most of the exercises were just one set. I guess slow and steady is the best way to do it. It was basically a very relaxed session, but I did get pretty irritated with the trainer. He was making me do stretches and I was doing this strange stretch when I said that I felt it in my shoulders. And he said ‘You’re supposed to feel it in your shoulders, not in your head’. Now I don’t know whether it is PMS (or maybe some new ‘exercise’ hormones in my body) but I did get offended. Really, his comment and tone were uncalled for.

I don’t know about you guys, but I have noticed that men treat thin (sexy) women very differently from fat (un-sexy women). Seriously, in all probability my trainer wouldn’t make such disparaging statements to a slim girl. I hate the fact that men just put you into brackets based on your body size.

So, to whom it may concern, please note that just because I am fat it does not mean

1. I have a thick skin and I don’t get hurt

2. Just because I look fat and jovial, I can laugh off all the jokes you make at my expense

3. I am easy and you’re doing me favour by giving me attention, just because you think that I would be grateful for anything I get

4. I will waddle on the dance floor. (Ask me to dance and I’ll show you how graceful I am, and that I’m a much better dancer than you)

5. I will welcome uninvited weight loss advice. ‘Don’t eat chocolates and ice-creams’. ‘You should exercise’. ‘Pants make your butt look big’. Thank you, I didn’t know that already!

6. I don’t like wearing horizontal stripes

7. I like being hugged all the time. Really! Big breasts don’t come with welcome notes attached.

8. I am unattractive

Yours angrily,

Me

On a more positive note, I did manage to wake up at 6:30 am and drag myself to the gym, despite sleeping after 1:30 am.

Hello hello. I am in a happy happy mood. I finally joined the gym and today was my first day. I took it slow today - 20 mins treadmill at 5 kph, 15 mins cycling and 15 mins of cross-trainer (or whatever its called) and some mins of stretching (cool down). This is not including the 15 min walk to the gym (I took a cab on the way back. I was late for office and tired out. Besides, I didn’t want to reach office and collapse like an overburdened fat cow.

Oh, but I did enjoy the exercise. It amazes me, really, how much I do enjoy exercising (after it’s done) and yet it is such a task to get me moving. You know I have been talking about doing something for the past 6 months and finally got around to joining the gym only now. The problem is that I start enthusiastically but can never sustain the momentum. And I have started and left exercising so many times in the last 10 years that I could just not motivate myself to start this time. But now that I have, I’m glad!

Weight today: 172 pounds