c25k not for me

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I weighed myself today morning and the scales settled in at 178 pounds. Thank God. I don’t know if it’s been fluctuations, but the weight gain has been pretty traumatic. And while my weight is still more than my lowest a couple of months ago, it’s out of the dreaded 180s. So darlings, am back on track and motivated.

I have been reading up a lot the last couple of days and have realised that c25k is not for me. Yeah, I was pretty gung-ho about it. But the thing is that c25k aims to get a person from the couch to running 5 kms. Frankly, I don’t intend to run any marathons. I don’t want to start running either. My objective, plain and simple, is to lose weight. And c25k doesn’t promise weight loss. Yeah, some pounds may come off by default. But really, an hour and a half of exercise a week won’t help the pounds come off that easy. Hence, I realised that I need to exercise more and maybe around 5-6 times a week. So I am going to stick to plain old walking. Needless to say, after all my justifying to myself that c25k is not for me, I didn’t go for today’s run. And neither did I go for a walk. Agreed that I got to bed only after midnight (as usual) and was feeling too lazy and tired to get up in the morning. But it really is my fault. I just can’t sleep early. I was watching Jerry McGuire for like the hundredth time, just because it was showing on cable. I should have just gone to bed. I basically need to change my lifestyle. That’s the only way. Next Monday for sure.

I like starting things on a Monday. Don’t know why, but I do. And it’s a silly thing, because suppose I miss Monday for some reason I wait a full week for the next Monday. Silly me. Anyways, next Monday is on. Unless, I get up from the wrong side of bed and go for a walk tomorrow. Oh and I bought a pedometer a couple of months back and still haven’t figured out how to use it. Yeah!  I know, I know. Am pathetic. So I hereby promise to figure it out before Monday.

I can

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The scales seem to be stuck at 182, even after three days. Which probably means that I actually have gained 5 pounds and it is not water weight, etc as I was hoping it to be.

 

I went for my D2W2 of c25k today morning, but I had such a bad headache that my head felt like it would burst every time I attempted to run. So I decided to do it tomorrow. Headaches can be such a problem with me, as I have migraine and sinus problems. And once I start getting headaches it can get pretty bad. I’ve lost hours and days, lying in pain unable to move at all because of my spinning head. Anyways, the point being that I didn’t even get any exercise today.

 

And now I am dying to eat something sinful and fattening. A pack of chocolate cookies. Or a tub of ice-cream. But I won’t. I will control. I will not give in.

 

Looks like I won’t achieve my initial target of 154 pounds in time for my brother’s wedding in Feb. But I will definitely try to do 165 pounds. I can do it if I am strong. I can.

Weigh in nightmares

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And so, I weighed in at a freaking 182 pounds today. Yes, I did go to a food festival yesterday and had lots of free chocolates, cheeses and some beer and wine. But that’s almost five pounds more that my last weigh in. Five pounds! Obviously my body is more sensitive to excesses than I thought. It’s damn unfair. Five bloody pounds. So I guess I am back to keeping tab on every morsel that I eat. It seems like the last few months have been in vain. I have just been going up and down the same five pounds.

On a happier note, I have completed my first week of c25k. Today I started on my second week. And boy, was I panting or what. Which is surprising, as there isn’t much difference in week 1 and week 2. I guess the weekend was hectic and I should have rested more. I think I am going to start doing more than just 3 days a week, if I can. I am apprehensive about becoming too compulsive about the exercising. I know my pattern. I always start off with such a bang and then I just cannot sustain it.  So I invariably taper off in about a month and then completely give up. So this time I really wanted to start slow and build up the tempo. But three times a week just doesn’t seem like enough exercise to me.

Anyways, am a little low today. Five pounds can really pull you down. I wonder if I could have gained some weight because I started exercising. But it’s unlikely as I have actually just done four days.

I need to see the scales dip back. Really fast. This is as demotivating as it gets!

I started exercising

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Despite my enthusiasm to start blogging again, I have not managed to post for almost three weeks since. Initially I was busy at work catching up on the back-log, having been out travelling for a month. And then with the terrorist attacks in Mumbai I was too caught up in the whole emotional upheaval. We were right in the middle of the attacks and lived through (heard from our house) every blast and every round of firing. It was horrible. So many lives lost, uselessly. So many people affected, some of my relatives had very close escapes.

Anyways, to get back to the point of this blog. I cheated like crazy because of all the stress. It was an E3 week (emotional-eating-extreme week).

Have tried to control since last weekend. My weight has been fluctuating between 176 and 178. So at least I am down a few pounds since I returned.

On a positive note, I started exercising. Thankfully.

I have decided to do the c25k program. Don’t know anybody who does it India so I’m still a little unclear about it. I have downloaded the programme from coolrunning.com. But the funda of three days a week (a total of one and half hours in a week) seems too little exercise to make any difference. But am going to try it and then increase the frequency accordingly.

So, today I did the second day of week 1. I was feeling a little sore in some places but I pushed myself. Am quite proud that I have actually managed to put in two days of exercise this week. I am going to try and stick to this. Wish me luck.

And if you have any info/ tips to give me on running, I would be grateful.

Eighth-week weigh-in

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Weighed myself today morning, after completing 8 weeks on the South Beach Diet. I thought I might see an increase. I have been drinking more than my allowed 2-glasses of wine limit. And I had 2 scoops of diet-lite chocolate ice-cream on Friday. Hardly got any sleep last week and didn’t manage to make-up too much over the weekend (less sleep is supposed to add to water-retention). And of course, I have still not started exercising. All of these ‘cheats’ add up to reasons for a gain on Monday morning. And….. I didn’t. I have lost further. I weighed in at 178 pounds. Oh the elusive 170s! And that, my friends, is only 2 pounds away from my Oct 1 target, which suddenly sounds achievable. Difficult, but not improbable. Man, it’s so exciting. I would be afraid to weigh myself next week. What if this was just an aberration and next week I am back to the 180s. Also, next week I shall be pmsing again, which definitely means weight gain on the scales. Anyways, I will not let next week take away the joy of this week.

When I started 8 weeks back, I was at around 194 pounds. My initial aim is to get down to 154 pounds by Feb 1 2009, which is a total weight loss of 40 pounds. I have lost 16 pounds so far. That means I have achieved 40% of my target (My eventual target will be another 15-20 pounds, but I can go slow on that.) And 40% sounds pretty good to me. I know it’ll keep getting tougher now that the initial weight loss is done. But I take heart in the fact that I have still not started exercising. That seems to me like my secret weapon, which I will use when the enemy is down. After all, this whole weight-loss is a battle. One that I have been fighting for many many years.

Now, I should definitely start exercising. It’s the only way I will lose any more weight. I have to. I have to.

Today’s reason for weight-loss.                                                                                 

Reason no 17: So I am below 80 kgs (176 pounds) for my 30th birthday on Oct 2nd.

Walking in the rain?

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Now that the euphoria of losing 14 pounds has come down, I realise that I am still 4 pounds away from my Oct 1goal. And I don’t see any miracles happening in 2 weeks. Maybe if I start exercising I could manage to lose that. Highly unlikely, but I may be closer to it. But it’s been pouring like crazy here and there’s no way I can start walking till the rain subsides. Maybe I can exercise in the house. But that just doesn’t sound like fun. Sigh!

 

Today’s reason for weight-loss

Reason no 15: So I don’t keep feeling guilty about not exercising

No cheating

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Life has not been too eventful this week. I have more of less stuck to my diet except that I had a big piece of chocolate cake yesterday. It was my boss’ birthday celebration and it would have been rude to refuse. Although I could have had a smaller piece. But I thought at that moment that since I was already sinning I might as well do justice to it. Like Oscar Wilde said ‘The best way to deal with temptation is to give in to it’.

I have been reading that these little cheats always end up on big cheats and then eventually results in giving up on it entirely. And this holds true for diet as well as exercise. If I feel an occasional one piece cake doesn’t make much of difference to my weight-loss, I will start having it more often. And before I realise I will be eating one piece cake, one bowl ice-cream, two bars of chocolates and one packet chocolate cookies. I shudder at the thought of it now. But I know, with me, it is a pattern. In my past phases of exercising, I have always started with a lot of enthusiasm. Then slowly, usually after about a month, I would start missing days (I always had excuses- work, tiredness, rain, etc, etc) and then would completely stop all exercising.

Yes, I know the signs well. I have had a lot of practice. And maybe it is starting so I have to be even more careful. It started with my weekend chocolate cheats and then my huge 5-desserts binge last Saturday. Some more dessert (albeit sugar free) on Sunday and then the cake yesterday. It just has to stop.

I have not yet started exercising and that worries me. How do I motivate myself?

 

Today’s reason for losing weight…

Reason no 11: So I can have the occasional chocolate cake, knowing that I just have to burn just those calories to maintain weight (as opposed to burning those calories over and above what I have to burn to lose weight)

 

Note to self: My reasons are getting longer with every post. Have to learn to keep them succinct.

Week six Weigh-in

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I weighed in at 182.5- 183 this morning. I have put on weight! Maybe it is fluctuations, which are supposedly normal. But I think it might be the colossal cheating/binging over the weekend. I had a product launch on Saturday evening and there was crazy amount of work and stress for the last few days. I did try hard to control myself. But after the launch (successful, if I may add) there was just so much relief and I could feel the stress (and adrenaline) flowing out of my body that I just needed to spoil myself. And so… I had some passion fruit cheesecake, mixed berries cheesecake, caramel custard, chocolate mousse and one scoop chocolate ice-cream. Yeah I know! I am terrible. And then I went out for lunch with the family yesterday and though I did manage to stay away from the carbs I had one big bowl of chocolate mousse (eggless and sugar-free) and some sugar-free jelly. Sugar-free or not, this has been an absolutely sinful weekend. And now that I am on Monday, I am going to go back to my serious mode.

I had intended to start my walking today and I put the alarm as well. But when the alarm rang I was just feeling so tired that I switched it off and went back to sleep. While I realize that my body needs rest as I have been overdoing things I really need to start exercising. Today, maybe I’ll read up on the c25k plan. Sounds interesting and maybe if I have a plan I’ll be more focused about the exercising bit as well.

Oh I did manage to take some time off yesterday to buy myself a fabulous pair of pants (which make me look slimmer).

Back to work now and may the rest of you have a good week.

 

Today’s reason…

Reason no 10: So I need not buy pants that make me look slimmer, just pants that make me look the way I am (hot and slim)

Heavy bones or is that an excuse?

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I am so excited about this blog. In the past, like I wrote before, I’ve done many attempts to lose weight. I have always been unsuccessful. This time I feel confident that I will manage to accomplish my goals. And this blog will be my companion through the journey.
I have to constantly try to control my urge to weigh myself everyday. I know i won’t see any loss and the fluctuations may end up demotivating me.
The trouble is that all my life I’ve been heavy. In fact, even at my slimmest (and now that I look at the pictures I see that I was quite thin) I was much heavier than my ideal weight. Maybe I have heavy bones, but it doesn’t help my frame of mind to see my weight as 150 pounds even when I’m thin. The other problem is that I seem to have a very slow metabolism. My weight tends to stall after the first 5 pounds. At least with SBD I’ve managed to lose 10 pounds. I need to desperately start exercising. But I just don’t seem to be able to motivate myself. Maybe if I keep telling myself that I can do it, I will. They say, positive thinking is all it takes.


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