Ninth week weigh-in

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Haven’t felt like doing much in the past week. I have tried to stick to the diet as far as possible. Had some rice one day and some bread (fondue) one day. Apart from that I’ve been pretty straight except that I have not been blogging. . The thing is that I’m going through a personal upheaval and have been feeling too restless to do anything, especially post. Also, the fact that I had been pms-ing couldn’t have helped. Thankfully, I got my periods yesterday, which means I am at my most bloated these couple of days.  I had my ninth week weigh in and I’m still at 178 pounds which was my weight last Monday. Either I haven’t lost anything (which is ok I guess) or I have and I’ll weigh lighter when my periods get over.

Signing off today. I’m too restless to write anything more. Hopefully I’ll be out of this soon.

Indifference

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I have not much felt like writing these last few days. I have not been cheating. Not exercising either. I don’t seem to be able to get enthusiasm to do anything actually. Even compliments are no longer making much of a difference to me. I am hoping that this is just a short phase. Maybe its the onset of pms. I need to feel the need to lose weight. Or else, I will give up on this whole thing very soon. I didn’t even weigh myself in the last couple of days. Imagine that! Yesterday, a male colleague commented saying ‘Are you wearing jeans or pyjamas’. Ordinarily I would have been thrilled at that backhanded compliment. My tight jeans have become so loose that they look like pyjamas. That should have made me thrilled. Whereas, I was like ‘whatever’. I need to snap out of this indifference soon. Very soon.

I’m not going to add my today’s reason for weight loss, as it would be insincere.

Eighth-week weigh-in

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Weighed myself today morning, after completing 8 weeks on the South Beach Diet. I thought I might see an increase. I have been drinking more than my allowed 2-glasses of wine limit. And I had 2 scoops of diet-lite chocolate ice-cream on Friday. Hardly got any sleep last week and didn’t manage to make-up too much over the weekend (less sleep is supposed to add to water-retention). And of course, I have still not started exercising. All of these ‘cheats’ add up to reasons for a gain on Monday morning. And….. I didn’t. I have lost further. I weighed in at 178 pounds. Oh the elusive 170s! And that, my friends, is only 2 pounds away from my Oct 1 target, which suddenly sounds achievable. Difficult, but not improbable. Man, it’s so exciting. I would be afraid to weigh myself next week. What if this was just an aberration and next week I am back to the 180s. Also, next week I shall be pmsing again, which definitely means weight gain on the scales. Anyways, I will not let next week take away the joy of this week.

When I started 8 weeks back, I was at around 194 pounds. My initial aim is to get down to 154 pounds by Feb 1 2009, which is a total weight loss of 40 pounds. I have lost 16 pounds so far. That means I have achieved 40% of my target (My eventual target will be another 15-20 pounds, but I can go slow on that.) And 40% sounds pretty good to me. I know it’ll keep getting tougher now that the initial weight loss is done. But I take heart in the fact that I have still not started exercising. That seems to me like my secret weapon, which I will use when the enemy is down. After all, this whole weight-loss is a battle. One that I have been fighting for many many years.

Now, I should definitely start exercising. It’s the only way I will lose any more weight. I have to. I have to.

Today’s reason for weight-loss.                                                                                 

Reason no 17: So I am below 80 kgs (176 pounds) for my 30th birthday on Oct 2nd.

Thank God it’s Friday

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I have not written in the past few days.  Have been having very late nights and very little sleep this week (averaging about 2-3 hrs a day) and I am desperately tired. Need to recuperate this weekend. Thank God it’s Friday today. There’s a party tonight, which means yet another late night. But I think I am looking pretty good in a sexy-in-a-subtle-way black top. I’m ofcourse wearing jacket at work, but the jacket shall come off in the evening. He he! Have a good weekend everyone.

 

Today’s reason for losing weight.

Reason no 16: So I can buy smaller and sexier black tops

Walking in the rain?

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Now that the euphoria of losing 14 pounds has come down, I realise that I am still 4 pounds away from my Oct 1goal. And I don’t see any miracles happening in 2 weeks. Maybe if I start exercising I could manage to lose that. Highly unlikely, but I may be closer to it. But it’s been pouring like crazy here and there’s no way I can start walking till the rain subsides. Maybe I can exercise in the house. But that just doesn’t sound like fun. Sigh!

 

Today’s reason for weight-loss

Reason no 15: So I don’t keep feeling guilty about not exercising

Seventh week weigh-in

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My weight today is between 180.5 and 179.5 pounds. So we’ll just average it out to 180, which my dear ladies (and gentlemen?) is a loss! I was around 193.5/194 when I started out seven weeks back, which means a total loss of almost 14 pounds! This, considering I haven’t been exercising at all is pretty damn good.

Today at work, at least three people commented that I had noticeably lost weight. One girl (over and above the three people) said that I lose weight every time she sees me. I am in seventh heaven. I sent a before-after picture comparison of me wearing the same shirt to my family. It had yesterday’s picture vis-à-vis April’s picture which is representative of how I looked 7 weeks back. Actually I may have even been worse 7 weeks earlier as I was a few pounds heavier as compared to April. And my brother who’s not seen me in a couple of months messaged me saying that I had really lost weight. I told him that I wanted to look good at his wedding in February. Yay!

I was supposed to start walking today, but I had so much exercise yesterday (walked about 40 minutes and took pictures standing for around 3 hours) and less sleep last night (around 3 hours only) that I thought I deserved the rest. Hopefully I’ll get enough sleep tonight so I’ll be able to get up on time for my walk tomorrow.

 

Today’s reason losing weight.

Reason no 14: So even when the compliments stop rolling in, I feel complimented.

(Did that even make sense?)

End of week blahs

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I know I should stay away from mid-week weigh-ins. I am a fool, who makes the same mistake again and again. And whoever said that history repeats itself. The last mid-week weigh-in I had lost almost 3 pounds and today morning’s weigh-in I have put it all back. I am at 182.5. I feel so frustrated. How on earth will I ever achieve my Oct 1 target of 176 pounds? And when I had started I had felt so positive about reaching that goal. And it was a very do-able goal, not ambitious at all. So basically the last three weeks have been no weight loss at all. The only silver lining on the cloud is that I have not put on any more weight.

On a more positive note… My father and mother both complimented me today morning. I am wearing a new top and my jeans (which is finally not tight on me). My dad said “Now that you’ve lost some weight, you’re looking so much better”. And that was just so cool. I have to, have to lose more weight. The weighing scales better start behaving. I am so nervous about standing on those damn scales.

God, please give me the strength to battle my laziness, lethargy and constant tiredness so I am able to start exercising. I have to. And I know I can.

 

Today’s reason for losing weight:

Reason no 13: So I can stand on the scales without fear.

Learn to want more

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Yesterday was a feast at home, but I managed to not overdo the food bit. I was fairly proud of myself. They do say that pride comes before a fall. But no falling as yet. Unless you consider the fact that I (yet again) did not manage to get up in the morning (for a walk) a fall.

You know, yesterday at work I was feeling pretty good about how I was looking. Not slim, by any angle, but pretty damn good. And then I realised that two years ago, when I was at the same weight as I am now, I used to feel so FAT. Don’t get me wrong, I realise I am still fat. But then I felt fatter at the same weight as I do now. How is that ever possible? Is that why I am happy with a 150 pounds target and six years back when I was actually 150 I felt like I was the fattest person around. I don’t understand. Maybe once you become really fat, you’re ok with being a little less fat. Whatever that means!

 

Today’s reason for losing weight…

Reason no 12: To look great, not just ‘not fat’

No cheating

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Life has not been too eventful this week. I have more of less stuck to my diet except that I had a big piece of chocolate cake yesterday. It was my boss’ birthday celebration and it would have been rude to refuse. Although I could have had a smaller piece. But I thought at that moment that since I was already sinning I might as well do justice to it. Like Oscar Wilde said ‘The best way to deal with temptation is to give in to it’.

I have been reading that these little cheats always end up on big cheats and then eventually results in giving up on it entirely. And this holds true for diet as well as exercise. If I feel an occasional one piece cake doesn’t make much of difference to my weight-loss, I will start having it more often. And before I realise I will be eating one piece cake, one bowl ice-cream, two bars of chocolates and one packet chocolate cookies. I shudder at the thought of it now. But I know, with me, it is a pattern. In my past phases of exercising, I have always started with a lot of enthusiasm. Then slowly, usually after about a month, I would start missing days (I always had excuses- work, tiredness, rain, etc, etc) and then would completely stop all exercising.

Yes, I know the signs well. I have had a lot of practice. And maybe it is starting so I have to be even more careful. It started with my weekend chocolate cheats and then my huge 5-desserts binge last Saturday. Some more dessert (albeit sugar free) on Sunday and then the cake yesterday. It just has to stop.

I have not yet started exercising and that worries me. How do I motivate myself?

 

Today’s reason for losing weight…

Reason no 11: So I can have the occasional chocolate cake, knowing that I just have to burn just those calories to maintain weight (as opposed to burning those calories over and above what I have to burn to lose weight)

 

Note to self: My reasons are getting longer with every post. Have to learn to keep them succinct.

Week six Weigh-in

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I weighed in at 182.5- 183 this morning. I have put on weight! Maybe it is fluctuations, which are supposedly normal. But I think it might be the colossal cheating/binging over the weekend. I had a product launch on Saturday evening and there was crazy amount of work and stress for the last few days. I did try hard to control myself. But after the launch (successful, if I may add) there was just so much relief and I could feel the stress (and adrenaline) flowing out of my body that I just needed to spoil myself. And so… I had some passion fruit cheesecake, mixed berries cheesecake, caramel custard, chocolate mousse and one scoop chocolate ice-cream. Yeah I know! I am terrible. And then I went out for lunch with the family yesterday and though I did manage to stay away from the carbs I had one big bowl of chocolate mousse (eggless and sugar-free) and some sugar-free jelly. Sugar-free or not, this has been an absolutely sinful weekend. And now that I am on Monday, I am going to go back to my serious mode.

I had intended to start my walking today and I put the alarm as well. But when the alarm rang I was just feeling so tired that I switched it off and went back to sleep. While I realize that my body needs rest as I have been overdoing things I really need to start exercising. Today, maybe I’ll read up on the c25k plan. Sounds interesting and maybe if I have a plan I’ll be more focused about the exercising bit as well.

Oh I did manage to take some time off yesterday to buy myself a fabulous pair of pants (which make me look slimmer).

Back to work now and may the rest of you have a good week.

 

Today’s reason…

Reason no 10: So I need not buy pants that make me look slimmer, just pants that make me look the way I am (hot and slim)


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