Why I want to lose weight- Digging deeper

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Why can’t I time it right?

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It’s a little funny how things work.
This year I’ve gone through extreme phases. Till about a couple of months back I was going through a very blah phase. I wasn’t unhappy, but I was blah. I was restless and all that seemed to give me some respite from the restlessness was hours of resting on my back and watching endless back to back seasons of TV serials. With my self-inflicted house arrest, it was easy to let discipline slip. No exercise, no food control. It is no wonder that I put on several pounds. The most unfortunate part is that those wasted months would have been ideal for losing weight. Work was light and I was antisocial, so I had all the time in the world.
And now, I am at the other extreme- a super social phase. I’m catching up with friends I haven’t caught up with for months. Partying at least twice a week, getting less than four hours of sleep at night, drinking very fattening-alcohol with a vengeance. AND I am on a mission to lose weight. With my hectic life and busy work schedule I don’t have the time or energy to exercise, but I am determined to get my exercise routine going.
Why can’t I ever time it right?
The thing is, I realised, it’s only when I start socialising that I try to fit into my nice party clothes. And it’s then that I realise that the nice clothes don’t fit me well anymore. And I get into a I-have-to-lose-weight mode.
I do wonder at these times that if I can manage to steadily (though slowly) manage to lose weight when I’m partying & drinking, how much weight I could lose with discipline & more sleep. Sigh!
CW: 175.5 lbs

Back to the old drawing board

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I’m back on this site after a gap of 5 years. Gosh! Has it been so long? Where did the years go by? I’m older, hopefully a little wiser and a little fatter. (A lot fatter actually!) As per my last post, I was 167 lbs. Today I’m at 177 lbs. That’s 10 whole pounds fatter. In the last few years my weight has yo-yoed like nobody’s business. At one point, I’d gone up to 187. Thankfully, I lost a little of that.
I’m starting again. And hopefully, this blog will be my friend as it has been in the past. I had made a lot of friends here five years back. I hope they’ve managed to achieve their weight goals and sustained it. But if they haven’t, I wish they would come back and join me in taking control of our lives.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in these five years, it’s that it is never too late. Never too late to make a change, never too late to start over and never too late to be who you’re meant to be.
So here’s to getting back and here’s to the 35 pounds I want to lose.
SW: 177 lbs
GW: 142 lbs

SOS

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So I am slipping back to my nasty lifestyle and habits. A little out of no-choice but mostly out of bad choices.

The last couple of months have been eventful- physically and emotionally exhausting. I finally filed for my divorce. My parents moved to another city and I have moved to my own pad. Its barely been a month and I still miss them terribly. My house is still not set, so no gas. And no cooking at home. Which means I am ordering in food everyday. Even then it would be ok but I am ordering all the wrong things- a lot of Chinese (terrible!), ice creams and chocolates. I went through 8 large bars of snickers over the weekend. Why do I do this to myself? Why! Why! Why!

My weight is 167 lbs (I’d gone down to 161 a couple of months back). I need to get back to action. Need to start exercising.

Somebody tell me how. Help!

It’s as simple as that

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It’s amazing how time just flies. It seems like just the other day that I last posted. And that’s almost two months ago! I went for my holiday as planned. I had full intentions to get back to my disciplined life once I rejoined work, but I fell sick. And have been demotivated ever since. I feel sick and tired all the time. Mine is the kind of tiredness where I don’t feel sick enough to miss office (which means I am working long hard hours through the week) but I feel sick and tired enough to use it as an excuse. And yesterday I suddenly realised that it’s been two months. I paid A LOT of money for the gym and it’s getting wasted. So I finally pushed myself to hit the gym. And unsurprisingly, I feel so much better. Why don’t I get this into my head? I feel stupid. It’s something I re-learn every time. The truth is that I get stuck in this vicious circle. I feel tired so I don’t exercise and then I feel even more tired. And all I need to do is exercise. It’s as simple as that. Stupid stupid me!

Weight today: 163 lbs

Next weight goal is to go below 160 lbs by Sept 1. I can do it. I can. I can.

FYI

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Am alive. Just really busy. Will be travelling, starting this Friday, and will be back mid next month. See you all then.

Weight today: 161 lbs

Exercise: 1 hr cardio + abs + stretches + 15 mins walk to gym (managed to hit the gym after many many days)

The pleasure of being overlooked

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I have been crazy busy at work. It’s the same story as the last month (irregular at the gym, finding it hard to stick to diet). Thankfully I am so definite about losing the last 25 lbs that I know I will do it.  But what really helps me in keeping myself motivated is the people around me.

I have a funny incident to relate from last Friday. After a long hectic week I’d managed to meet up with D, an old friend and ex work colleague of mine. (Since we were both working till late we met only around 11:30 pm.) We went to a popular pub near my place for a drink or two. The evening started out on a good note. My friend complimented me on how much weight I’d lost since he last saw me. (The last time we met was in November when my weight was around 15 lbs more. Since then I’ve added a lot of muscle as well. So the difference must be very noticeable). Anyways, we were standing nursing a drink (I was too tired to even drink) when an ex-colleague of ours spotted D. She came over and started chatting with D and COMPLETELY ignored me. I was a little miffed at being ignored so blatantly so I tapped her and said Hi. She gave me a blank look and turned back to D asking him to introduce us. And D said, ‘you know her, that is S’. The girl’s reaction was beautiful (It plays in my head and I laugh every time). Her mouth dropped and she covered her face, typical beauty-queen-shock style. Finally when she spoke, she said that she simply could not recognise me. She complimented me on how much weight I’ve lost and that I should tell her how I managed to achieve such a miracle (not that she needs to lose any weight). To say the least, I forgave her instantly.

Like I said, the people around keep me going.

The weight keeps fluctuating. Today it was at 161.5 lbs.

A little prudence and a little indulgence

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I have been away from this blog for a really really long time. The last week was a killer at work. I worked late every night, and slept at 2- 3:30 am every night. Understandably, I had no energy to do anything other than work and catch a few hours of sleep. So no blogging, no gym, no control over food. I weighed in at 165 lbs yesterday. Thankfully, it’s back to 163 lbs today.

I’d intended to make May a good month. But I’ve not been a very good girl. I must admit that I have been taking it pretty slack the last couple of months. I’ve eaten well (and cheated often), I’ve been drinking once in a while and I’ve exercised on an average every alternate day. But the point is that I have not gained weight! Isn’t that great? I have fluctuated up and down within a 4 pound range, but I’ve not gone above 165 lbs. (Though I don’t know if the fluctuations are good, or are they normal?)Anyways, the point is that the last couple of months I have felt like I’ve really indulged myself. March, I pushed myself as hard as I could. I worked out practically everyday. I hardly cheated. I know that I wouldn’t be able to sustain a March-like month life-long. But the last couple of months were good. And I wouldn’t have a hard time living like that. And if I can manage to keep my weight in check, I think I may have just cracked my maintenance strategy. Of course, the maintenance bit will come in only once I’ve lost all the weight. But it’s good to know that I will not necessarily be putting it all back on. A little prudence and a little indulgence is all that it takes.

Weight: 163 lbs

Exercise: 50 mins cardio + 20 mins crunches & stretches + 15 min walk

It’s no rocket science

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I’ve said often enough on this blog that I’ve battled weight all my life. I have been overweight most of my adult life. And till recently I excused it with the standard ‘I have a big bone structure’, ‘I have slow metabolism’, ‘Bad genes’, etc, etc. Sound familiar? And through all these excuses I’ve been jealous of the thin girls (not the ‘I will kill you, you b***h’ kind of jealous but more like ‘why only her? why not me too?’ kind of jealous). Yes, I have been jealous. And it’s only now that I realise that I have no need to be. Let me tell you about an incident in office.

I was chatting with a couple of really slim PYTs in office the other day. And we were making plans to go for a live band performance. And I said that going out would mean a late night and that these days I prefer to get to bed early so I can hit the gym in the morning. And much to my surprise, both the girls nodded their head in understanding. It turned out that both of them go running every morning. Not the ‘thrice a week routine adequate for general fitness’. But every morning. So yes, they eat as much as they want. But they exercise almost everyday.

Later that evening I sat back and thought about all the slim women I know, starting from my mother. And I realised, good genes aside, my mother has always been careful about not overindulging. She’s regularly weighed herself. If she puts on some weight, she automatically cuts back in her diet till her weight stabilises. All the slim women I’ve met are all careful either about their diet or exercise or both. Sometimes, they’re not even aware of it. It’s inbuilt in their system. It’s a way of life with them. And that’s how I have finally managed to sustain the weight loss for so long. I’ve made it a way of life. And this is how it’ll be for the rest of my life. And it’s easy. Really. It ain’t rocket science.

Weight today: 161.5 lbs.

Doing the ‘weight’s going down and downer’ dance :)

Morning Exercise: 30 mins cross trainer + 30 mins treadmill + 20 mins crunches, etc and stretching + 15 min walk to gym

Disciplining myself to be disciplined

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Well hello. It’s a new week, again. I’d wanted to get back to action starting today. But I didn’t manage to get to the gym this morning. I slept only after 1:00 am and while I woke up at 6:30 am today morning with the intent of going to the gym, my body refused. It’s been a tough last week. I was at an official function till 10 pm last night and while I could have managed to get to bed earlier than I did, I didn’t. So my commitment to myself this week is to be disciplined.

My weight is more or less steady at 164 lbs. It fluctuates up and down one pound. I guess that’s acceptable.

I really do want to get to my goal end weight of around 135 lbs. But that daunts me. That’s like 30 more lbs to lose! I think I would be ok with 143 lbs. But that would not leave me any scope for fluctuations. A little holiday weight and I’ll be in the overweight range. 

I know that I have lost a decent amount of weight in the last 9 months. I have. And it’s showing. But I really do want to be at my desired weight soon. I know its up to me. I have not really been disciplined about food or exercise the last month and a half. I better get my act together. Like, now. Wish me luck guys.


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