I’ll become the best possible “me.”
Reality check. I’m 43 years old. I have those little crinkly wrinkles around my eyes and mouth from years of smoking and years of youth/teenage sun-worshipping. I’ve had 2 c-sections, a fibroid removal and a total abdominal hysterectomy and I have a very large scar to prove it. My hair is dry and coarse from the hair dye to cover the gray. I carry massive amounts of weight around my midsection. The “girls” hang low, the arms have wings, the knees have bags, the bum has dimples..and the dimples have dimples! And, we haven’t even gotten to the roadmap of stretch marks across my tummy and hips and the spider veins that decorate my legs.
I have been overweight for most of my life. I’ve never had the sexy toned body that I’ve always dreamed of. I’ve never worn that tiny little bikini to the beach. I’ve never walked into a room and turned heads. I’ve never put on the sexy matching bra and thong from Victoria’s Secret and felt like I was my Hubby’s ultimate fantasy.
I am realistic. Losing over 100 pounds will not magically make me look like Brooke Brooke. I will still have the slightly sagging body of a “mature” woman. I will have loose skin and my tummy will always be evidence of my two pregnancies and my missing fat. My face will still tell a story of my life experiences.
For a long time, I was saddened by my reality and I thought “it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve missed my chance for sexy.” But, I’ve finally come to a big realization…………
I’ll become healthier. I’ll become stronger. I’ll feel better. I’ll even look better without 100 pounds of fat and with my new muscles. And, I’ll be perfectly happy being the best “me” possible.
January 2nd, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Are you SURE you weren’t describing me in your blog??? That sounds like the pic I see in the mirror!! I have lost most of the weight but nothing is like it used to be…and never will be but as you say we can be the best “me” and that is it!!
Good luck on your new lifestyle journey…I hear the determination so I know you will succeed!!
Hugs,
Judy
January 2nd, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Okay you do have 5 years on me, but I have similar battle scars as well. I do know that as long as I feel good about myself, hubby will think I look great in a black hefty sack. We are doing this to feel better; babies, health problems and the environment have left their marks on us all. And ya know what, it means we have been living!
January 4th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
You know what? I’m 40 and I have thought the exact same thing, even using future grandchildren as an excuse to stay not so pleasantly plump! How bad is that! Grandma’s are supposed to be fluffy, aren’t they?
But, I know healthier is better. No Heidi Klum here but I will be a better, happier me. Good luck. I’ll be checking on ya.
January 4th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Sexy is as sexy does, and being confident and happy with yourself is, IMO, at least 90% of it.
January 5th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I agree w my3sons “Sexy is as sexy does, and being confident and happy with yourself is, IMO, at least 90% of it.”
I won’t be a supermodel either, but I can make the most of what I’ve got. And have less of it too!
January 8th, 2008 at 11:10 am
This was a great post. I’m 26, have only had one child and I feel like I’ll never be the traditional view of sexy…but as part of that whole weight loss thing, I’m working on loving myself and, realistically, loving what my body will become.
Here’s to loving our healthy new selves!