Accountability Time Yet Again!
I am really struggling to get my head straight and back on-plan. I really don’t know what is wrong with me and I’m incredibly frustrated with myself. Last night, I lay in bed thinking about this for a long time and I’ve realized some things. I have been re-committing to this journey every morning, but I havent been dealing with the internal reasons why I let myself get so out-of-shape and heavy. I’ve been stuffing those feelings back down and ignoring them. But, now, they’ve raised their ugly heads and won’t go away! What are my internal feelings and reasons? I’m not really sure. I know that I am extremely frustrated with my body. I finally got myself committed to exercising and was so very hopeful of becoming the strong healthy person I’ve dreamed of for so long. Now, my stupid knees have decided to give me problems when they never really bothered me much before I began working out. I catch myself doubting that I can really do this..that I will ever have the strength to actually get under 200 pounds. I start to panic at the thought of having to exercise and watch my eating for the rest of my life. I catch myself wondering,”what is the point? You’re not young anymore and you missed your chance to be sexy.” I really need to stop this roller coaster and get down to the business of great health and feeling good about myself. So, I went out and bought one of the study books from the First Place program and I will begin this study today. For those of you who are familiar with this program, First Place is a faith based weight loss program. Hopefully, I can get a handle on this weight loss thing and reach my goals. I’m not quitting until I figure this out for once and all!
October 31st, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Losing weight can be very scary. Permanent change isn’t easy. If it were, everybody would be thin. For me, my pounds serve a purpose to shield me from what I really feel. It’s hard to let myself REALLY FEEL what’s going on rather than diving into food to deal with my problems. BUT I’M GOING TO DO IT. I don’t care if it takes me 3 years to take it off . . . I don’t want to hide behind my fat anymore. YOU CAN DO IT, TOO!!!
November 30th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Glad to see you back…been missing you!! You can do whatever you need to do and with the Lord’s help!! I would NEVER have achieved what I have without His help.
We are our own worst enemies and critics but if you have reaced that point of “this is it and I am doing something about it” then that is half the battle and you can and will succeed from here on out. Pray hard and trust even harder and God will help you achieve your goals.
Remember to make small ones at first so you don’t get frustrated early. EVERY pound you lose is a success!!
Wishing you the very best on your journey and let me know if I can help!!!
Hugs,
Judy