March 17th, 2012 by getinmysexyback75

I am starting this blog for personal use but making it public so others can follow me on my journey to health if they’d like to.

I am 37, a mother of 2 amazing children. I got preggers with my 2nd child in 2003 at 185lbs (pushing a size 16). I went into labor in January 2004 at 251 pounds. I developed some major pregnancy issues and retained water. I came out of the hospital at 230 pounds. Between 2004-NOW (2012) I have gone anywhere from 206-246 (my highest).

I made a very small attempt with Atkins in 2005, went from 222-214 but didn’t take it seriously at all. My next attempt was in 2009 with Medifast and lost fast and fell off the wagon. Started Medifast again in 2010 got down to 210 or so and again fell off the wagon. Two years later I am still a fatty, everything hurts (can’t walk a block without my feet and hips locking up and burning!!!). I’m basically a shadow of my former-self. I don’t even remember what it feels like to walk without hurting, sleep without having to constantly move around to stop the hip pain, and breathe normally without huffing after a flight of stairs.

I’m at the point, to be honest I’d rather die than continue to live like this. I have beautiful children that I enjoy, up to a point. Can I go to the zoo all day and walk around? NO. Do I feel comfortable in a swim suit? NO. Can I chase balls in the park? NO. NO NO NO! Have I made love to anybody in the last 5 years, NO! Have I wore anything remotely sexy? NO. I am truly tired, run down, & have become a recluse. I work from home as often as I can because I’m so ashamed of myself. I never go anywhere except if I have to, hell I even order all my groceries, clothes, presents etc all online. I have a few close friends but rarely see any of them and more so than not have let them all go. I feel sick from being overweight.

For me, I am in a health crisis! I weight 236lbs, 37 years young – THE PRIME OF MY LFIE AND I’M DYING!!! Being overweight is the major cause of all health related deaths – do I want to drop dead from a massive coronary or get cancers? NO. Being thin doesn’t guarantee I won’t come down with some dreadful disease but at least I’d be healthy enough to “fight” if such thing happened to me.

So here I am, I’m on week 3 of Medifast. I have 5 prepackaged 100 calorie meals a day (soy based). I then have 6-7 ounces of protein and 2-3 cups of low carb veggies. I can also have a few free foods such as jello with fat-free cool whip, pickles, a few sticks of sugar free gum, etc. It’s very restrictive but works for me and I the weight melts off. I average 3.3 pounds each week. I started February 26th (Sunday) – weight was 245.6 and tomorrow I will have my 3rd weigh in (I only weigh once a week). Right now I’m at 236 (not too shabby it’s 3/17).

I want to make this blog a place for my check-in to see the progress week to week and talk about anything else, weight related or not. I’d also like to share some recipes since I’m really into finding ways to make my medifast meals taste better without adding the extra calories/carbs. I also really like to get creative with my one lean and green meal.

I don’t want to be here next year. I don’t want another re-start. If I follow this plan and stay OP I should lose all my weight within 5-7 months and then I’ll transition into maintenance which I plan to stick with for life. Now I know it could take me less or longer – I’m just estimating. Also, I am not working out. I am not sure when I’ll incorporate exercise but probably around the 8th week mark when my hips and feet don’t hurt so much from keeping me upright and mobile.

If you looked at me you’d think, yes she’s a good 50lbs overweight. I don’t look like I weigh 236, size 18-20 – I carry it well on the outside but holy hell I’m fat and everything hurts. I also hide my body, disguised in “layers”…..I’m only fooling myself.