28 lbs..

29 Oct 2012 In: Uncategorized

From March until today I have managed to gain 28 lbs. I wish I could say I have no clue how it happened but that would be a lie. I fell into the trap again, thought I could squeak by and eat whatever I wanted and not expect to gain the weight that I worked so hard to lose. Well I guess lesson learned and I will do better this time. I have discovered there is a trade off, and it is quite simple, if your going to ever hope to maintain your weight you need to A) eat properly B) be sure to burn off anything extra you take in. So the new plan of attack is stick to IDP, finish it to the end and once finished make plans meal wise. If there is a special occasion then exercise will be in order. I loathe exercising, I wish I knew why. Its good for you and I’m told once your used to it you miss when you don’t do it. I haven’t discovered that yet. I have made an aim to start going 3x a week when I’m able and I will do my best to stick to it.

 

In all seriousness, I am kind of glad this happened. As hard as it is, it has showed me that its a battle and if I hope to accomplish anything I need to finish and keep working hard after. I have had some really down days the last few months, to the point where I question even my desire to exist, which is ridiculous to some yes and by no means do I feel like my pant size determines who I am, but to get up everyday and look in the mirror and not like who you have become inside and out, it puts things into perspective. How you feel outside really bleeds into everything else surrounding your life. My patience is gone, I am bitter towards those I care about at times, I am an all around negative person because I don’t like the person staring back in the mirror. So I will change, quite simple. I will say that I would much rather be feeling like this, it says I still give a damn and I want to do something about it. There are people who live their entire lives unhappy but just don’t care enough to change and its quite sad. So kudos to everyone who has the motivation to do better for themselves and I wish you luck! Week 1 starts now!

Lets Try This Again….

12 Oct 2012 In: Uncategorized

Wow has time flown by! I can’t believe we’re on the tail end of 2012. Its been a great year in many ways and not so great in others. I got married so that’s been the biggest and best thing! July 14 came and went and here I am. I was hoping that I would be at my goal on my wedding day, unfortunately that didn’t happen and I really didn’t anticipate that the month before the wedding would be so stressful and busy and virtually impossible for me to try to lose the last few lbs.

 

I had been running around and also had family in so there were alot of meals out and a couple beverages ;) The day came and I surprisingly didn’t eat much cuz the dress was so tight! We went to sunny Cali for our honeymoon, it was incredible and we ate like nobodys business! I came back and tried to start up on IDP again but financially it wasn’t going to work and my heart just wasn’t in it.

 

Now I’m here October, a year after I first started and I have managed to gain back half of what I lost. I’m so embaressed with myself… I wish I could say I don’t know where I went wrong but I do. I let it catch up to me, I ate poorly and didn’t exercise after to counter act it. So lets try this again! I have decided to give IDP another go, I like the simplicity of it and the results are also an incentive. I have 30 lbs to lose and I am officially starting back Oct 29. I have a busy/stressful next couple weeks so I will give myself a couple weeks to gear up.

 

I’m hoping by Christmas I’ll be halfway to my goal and this time I will finish and I will maintain it. The big challenge these next 2 weeks will be making sure I behave and not gain anymore.

On, Off, Off, On

23 May 2012 In: Uncategorized

Story of my life these days! I wish I could go back to January and slap myself for deciding to “take a break” and try to lose the last 12 lbs on my own! 12 pounds has turned into 23 :S There’s not much I can say that doesn’t pass for a lame excuse but I will try anyway: life gets in the way and life is stressful and I eat when I’m stressed. Also there are birthdays, holidays, events that there is good food at and I can’t say no too.. I could go on and on! I won’t tho, I LOVE food, I’m a foodie, and I love healthy food and I love junk food, most food I love. Unfortunately there have been some hard times recently and those make a person want junk food which caused me to spiral a lil bit…..

Here’s hoping I’m back at it, I have 7 weeks to get down as much as possible for my wedding and I’m not going to put pressure on myself to lose the whole 23 lbs but I’m aiming for 15 ish… Thats roughly 2 lbs a week and I think I can manage that. I will be happy to be as close to my goal on my wedding day as possible, and when its over its back at it, hitting it and maintaining it! I think the balance act is a lifelong learning curve and learning to not use food as a comfort when your happy/sad is an uphill battle.. Here’s hoping I can keep my eye on the prize!!

Week 1 Again

26 Mar 2012 In: Uncategorized

Week 1 could have been better but coulda have been worse, lost 2.4 lbs. I had a lil cheat on Wednesday when I had a lil piece of cake and the Thursday work had a lil get together so I decided to partake and had a glass of wine and a couple appys. I thought for sure I screwed myself over but clearly not too bad. I could have been better though and I need to start smartening up! I’m only going to set myself back. Weekends I decided to loosely follow along to the program simply cuz I can’t financially afford to do the program 7 days a week and it gives me variety while still bein concious. So here’s to a better week 2 and hopefully I will see more melt off this week :)

Back On The Wagon!

20 Mar 2012 In: Uncategorized

It’s been ages since I updated this ol’ blog! Had lots of stuff going on with wedding and whatnot, not to mention I fell off the wagon and had nothing to write about :(

Short version of what I discovered while away was how I’m not the sort of person who can LOSE weight without a strict program. My mom and I joined weightwatchers and she’s been doing very well, I myself was simply maintaining and then I got frustrated and 10 lbs later decided to finish what I started with IDP. Its a good program and gets you where you want to be and the rest is up to you after. I can maintain when I hit my goal I know this. I’ve got my gym membership ready and I will continue to go to weightwatchers with my mom to help her reach her goal and maintain mine.

 

So I hit the wall again, one thing that is different this time is that I recognized it and put my fork down and got back on the program. 2 years ago I would have simply given up and procrastinated another 6 months before trying again. I’m feeling very positive, I’m 157.2 and I want to get down around 135-140 and I will not quit early this time. I’m ready to see it through and live a healthy happy life :)

The End Is Near!

23 Jan 2012 In: Uncategorized

3 more weeks! I have been slowly phasing off the diet and it feels good to be nearly finished this part and move on to a new chapter: MAINTANENCE! I don’t know what person in their right mind thinks “oh I’m done now I can do what I want!” I know most don’t and sometimes we slip into our old habits and boom the old weight creeps back. This must not happen, the next phase for me is my mom and I are joining weightwatchers, she needs to lose weight and I want to help her and also keep myself in check. I also will need to start an exercise program because that’s the mistake that most make, they lose weight and don’t start a program or keep the regiman they have which makes it nearly impossible to maintain. So thats what I’m looking at over the next well forever hoepfully. The past week went fine, the weekend was wedding palooza, Saturday my bridesmaids and I went to look at dresses for them and get measured, On Sunday the big Bridal Fair was in town and it was great. Got a hairpiece for myself and a couple ideas but for the most part I’ve got alot already booked. It was fun to just go for the experience. So the agenda for this week is to get registered with my mom at weightwatchers and get a head start on the next chapter! Have a great week everyone!

Where does the time go?!

16 Jan 2012 In: Uncategorized

Wow been a couple weeks since I posted something. Been a busy month so far with wedding planning and work. I got caught up on my diet and found after weighing in to my surprise that the 3 lbs I gained over the holidays was simply my glycogen reserves and in fact I hadn’t put on any holiday weight which was awsum! Last week was good, weightloss wise, lost 2.2lbs and finally busted out of the 150’s and now tackling the 140’s! I have decided since my last post that I am in a good place weight wise, I feel awsum, I lost the big chunk I wanted to and if I didn’t lose another pound it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Which has led me to the decision to phase off now, and be done February 11. My goal is to get down to 145 by then at least and my mom and I will be joining weightwatcher as she needs to lose weight and I would like to support her as well as stay on some sort of plan to keep myself accountable. I have learned so much about myself in these last 4 months. When you feel good about yourself and your appearance everything else seems to go smoothly. I have a new found respect and confidence for myself. Food no longer runs my life, I don’t abuse it the way I used to. At the end of the day you only achieve your ambitions if you go after them whole heartedly, and there is no one who’s going to do it for you. So to anyone who takes the time to read my rants, thank you! And the best knowledge I can bestow upon you is “Quit making excuses why you can’t and start thinking of reasons you can!” Nothing is worth having unless there is some hard work involved and I wish everyone all the best in anything they decide to do! :D

Wow, That Happened!

3 Jan 2012 In: Uncategorized

Man, being away from a computer for almost 2 weeks sure makes you realize what you missed while you were away! I feel like it’s been forever since I wrote! Hope everyones holidays went well. Mine did, just not long enough! The plan while I was on vacay was to have Christmas day as my cheat day, well I did that and then some. I took a vacation from my diet from Dec 23-Jan 2. Did I indulge the entire time? I would say yes I did, but not to the extent of stuffing my face with everything I could find. No, I simply had a bit of everything when I wanted. Along the way I discovered how much my body has changed not just on the outside but on the inside, I can’t eat as much as I used too. I would get full very fast and sometimes feel sick afterwards. Also found that combining certain things could set me off as well. Sunday evening we had pizz and I also was drinking vodka/coke, well I was sick to my stomach afterwards and ended up throwing up in the middle of the night. Also, alcohol doesn’t have the appeal it used too. I wasn’t planning on drinking during the holidays but decided to have a few cocktails and those no longer have the appeal they used too. I guess all in all it was nice to have a break but at the end of the day I’ve changed and the things that I used to take comfort in and look forward to consuming I no longer really care for. According to my scale this morning, this cost me 3 lbs but I’m not too shocked or upset by that, I will simply try lose it this week and start fresh next week and hopefully be done the diet in the next month or so. Here’s hoping to a successful week!

Holiday Blues :(

22 Dec 2011 In: Uncategorized

It’s Thursday and I have weigh in tomorrow and I most likely will see no change on the scale as it has not moved all week. I’m having a beat myself up day today, work had a big fancy Christmas breakfast this morning and I was going to have anything and gave in and had a spoon full of eggs and 3 strips of bacon. I felt guilty right after and now I’m wondering how I’m going to feel on cheat day. I was hoping to have lost more before Christmas so I would feel better about cheating but now I’m just feeling discouraged. The first 36 lbs seemed to come off fine and now I’m struggling with these last 15. I’m also soo tired of hearing people say “your doing this for the wedding aren’t you?” Hell no, I’m doing this because I wasn’t happy with myself. I know I have accomplished alot in 3 months, there’s no denying that and I’m happy about it. By that standard tho I have given up so much in those 3 months, it’s been hard work and I’m now tired and wish I could rest! Not go back to piggin out and eating my feelings but to go to a restaurant and not change my whole order so I’m able to eat it! I just want some normalcy again, it’s all I ask. So here’s hoping to a fruitful weigh in and if not I guess I’ll just have to get over it. Merry HO HO to all!

“It’s not a race, it’s a marathon” I think I have been treating this experience as a race when I should be thinking of it as a marathon. I wanted to be at my goal by Christmas and I’m 17 lbs short. I been stuck in the 150’s for a good 6 weeks and man I’m ready to take the scale and shove it! On one hand I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished thus far and on the other I want to be done!! When I first began this diet I was amazed at how quickly my body started to change and how simple it really was when you shoved your excuses out of the way. The further into it I get the harder it is I’m telling you! Making the choice to change and refurbish my life was the easy part, it’s the point where I am now that is killing me, not that I’m looking to give up. I never was a quitter, when I wanted something I put my elbow to the grind and fought hard for what it. Here’s hoping that next week I can bust into a new weight category and enjoy my Christmas day meal.. I’m looking so forward to it, my mom sis and I were planning the menu last night OMG it’s gunna be soo worth those 3 days I will most likely lose!