So I’ve noticed two things since starting to blog here again – well several, but that’s moot. One, comments have been completely disabled. Which is stupid and crazy, but oh well. Two, blogs aren’t active anymore. This is to be expected given that no new blogs can be created and that people can’t comment on other people’s blogs. So I’ve broken down and decided to relocate my blog to wordpress itself. If you care to follow my blog, you can do so here: http://forechoes.wordpress.com/ . If you’d like to move your own blog and need some help exporting all of your posts and things, shoot me a comment there and I’ll be happy to help. 😀
Scale says, “232.0 lbs.”
Work has been keeping me pretty busy this week. If you’re wondering, yes I have been keeping up with my July Fitness challenge. I’ve been logging it religiously over on FatSecret.com. I’ll probably copy+paste the numbers into retro-dated posts when I have another day off. Which will be Thursday. I’m on night seven at work tonight. Haven’t been sleeping well. Feeling kinda worn out. On the bright side, every day I’m making progress closer to who and what I am meant to be.
Now if life would just cut me a break. A second job… something so I can feel like I’m at least able to keep my head above water. Or if the soon-to-be ex would pick up and sign the papers. Yeah, that would all be awesome.
Really don’t have much to say today. My brain is still sort of in mental overload. I swear it decided to shut down on me at work last night. I kept having people walk up behind me, say something, and I was jumping like a fish out of water. XD
Workout for July 03:
1.769 miles walked
50x lower crunches
30 sec plank
50x upper crunches
Scale says, “233.4 lbs.”
First of all, that is a number I can get excited over. Moving on… I really ought to get back into the habit of blogging more. I’ve been doing it some on FatSecret.com, the website where I log my food to make sure I’m eating enough but nothing like I used to here. Mostly it’s a few words every other day. Or a comment tracking my workout progress. That’s about it, really.
I got in my ProBio5, Boost, and, of course, Plexus Slim on the 30th of June. So I got to start completely fresh on the 1st. Definitely going to work hard to keep track of numbers and things so I can share my results at the end of the month. For those who are wondering what Plexus is, you can check it out here: http://jdgraham.myplexusproducts.com/ . I’ll say this, even if it didn’t help with my weight and inches, I would still take Plexus for the benefits it gives me to my fatigue, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and hypothyroidism.
Anyway… So, some background stats.
Starting weight, on April 21: 260.0 lbs
Current weight, on July 02: 233.4 lbs
Starting Measurements, on June 27:
Under bust: 39
Muffin top: 49
Current Measurements, on July 02:
Under bust: 39
Muffin top: 49
Starting numbers for my July Fitness Challenge. I need to meet or exceed them every day. Aiming to hold a plank for 120 seconds by July 31 if possible. Meep.
Workout for July 01:
1.769 miles walked
20x lower crunches
20 sec plank
30x upper crunches
Workout for July 02:
1.769 miles walked
30x lower crunches
25 sec plank
40x upper crunches
So, here’s the deal.
Anyone who used to follow me knows that I’ve been struggling with my weight for a very long time. Like a lifetime of time. You might also know that I joined 3FC shortly after I got married 6 years ago. What you may not know is that I suffered from chronic depression and, months into my marriage, I discovered my husband had been having illicit video chats with random women he’d picked up on Myspace. I had know when I married him that it he didn’t love me, but I was so terrified of being alone that I made the choice to allow myself to marry and love a man when I knew it wasn’t right. So when he lied and made excuses, I accepted them.
Shortly thereafter, he deployed and for about a year, I did well.
Three years ago, I learned that my husband was cheating. Again. This time, however, he was doing it with a physical person vs over the internet. I fell apart. He had spent months of that time convincing me that I was being paranoid. He literally made me feel like I was going crazy.
It was a rough time and I knew I needed help. I spent weeks trying to get him to go with me, for moral support, to see someone about my suicidal depression and he kept saying he would and never doing so. Eventually, I was strong enough to make that first step by myself. Our marriage seemed to slowly recover.
Fast forward to January of 2014. At this point, all the stress, the medications of my depression, the anxiety, everything had caused me to reach 270 lbs. He’d recently been medically retired. We were supposed to be starting over in Washington. He was going to let me visit with my father while he looked for a job out toward the Idaho border. I spent a week crying at night, telling him that I couldn’t shake the feeling that if he didn’t stay with me at my father’s, we’d never see each other again. Despite his reassurances, that is exactly what happened. For two months, he ignored me and then, when he finally answered me, he said he’d never ask for a divorce but he didn’t want to live with me again.
The weight, normally, might have caused me to cling harder, to be even more terrified of being alone. In that moment however, I found myself stronger. I cried myself to sleep over him one last time, took my rings off and told him, quite calmly, that is was illogical for us to stay married.
That was back in mid-March. It is now mid-June. I am preparing to file my divorce paperwork within the next week or so. I’ve taken the time to focus on myself. I’ve found a supplement that has been able to replace both my thyroid and depression medications – and help me far more than they ever did. And as of this morning, I am down to 241 lbs.
I don’t regret my mistakes. I firmly belief that everything happens for a reason. My marriage had to happen for a reason. Six years ago, I was so terrified of being alone that I allowed myself to lower my standards and marry someone who wasn’t worthy of my kindness and sincerity. Today, I am strong enough to endure it. I do not want to be alone forever, but I no longer feel like there is a rush to find someone. And when I do find that someone, I am strong enough to wait until the time is right.
Sure there are good days and bad days but that’s life. And life isn’t about to get me down.
So. Let’s start by saying that’s it’s been a very long 6 or 7 months since I last wrote. To be honest, I miss blogging a lot. It kept me on track with everything that I was doing and wanted to do. My weight is not pretty; it’s pretty out of control atm. Every day, I wake up and tell myself I’m going to start working out again and every night I go to bed kicking myself for being a lazy piece of crap. >.>
About a month and a half ago, we finally got a confirmation of diagnosis for DH’s degenerative neurological disorder. Money has been tight since I had to stop working to stay home with him. We should be in the WTU within the next few weeks – finally – though, at which point we can finally apply for a program to help elevate the financial burden of me being unable to work. DH is also in the med board process now, too. The sooner it is all said and done, the better.
In the meantime, I’m downloading some JM workouts. This time tomorrow, I’d better be sitting down saying that I finally got off my lazy ass… hopefully.
So. A new one for me, in more ways than one. I’ve never made a meatloaf before. I’ve never been a particularly big fan of meatloaf. But my husband loves it, so when I was looking for recipes, the first thing I looked for was a meatloaf recipe. And lo and behold, the clouds parted and a great white light shone down upon one made for the Crock-Pot.
3/4 C milk
2 tsp minced onion
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp rubbed sage
1/2 C sliced mushrooms
1/4 C ketchup
2 tsp brown sugar
1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp ground mustard.
Combine eggs, milk, onions, salt, sage, and mushrooms in a large bowl. Crumble ground beef over mixture and stir well to combine. Shape into a round loaf. Cover and cook on low 5-6 hours. When done, whisk ketchup, brown sugar, mustard, and Worcestershire sauce. Pour over loaf and cook additional 15 minutes.
I used chopped onions and ground sage rather than minced and rubbed. Also, I was about empty with the gallon of milk I pulled out, so I just finished it off. Came out a little closer to a whole cup than 3/4, but no big deal. Used a whole cup of mushrooms instead of a 1/2 cup. About half way through cooking, I dumped the loaf into a strainer to drain any grease the hamburger might have produced and then put it back in the crock-pot to finish cooking. As for the sauce, I wanted to be sure my husband would eat it, so I tweaked it slightly. More brown sugar and Worcestershire sauce, but I’m not exactly sure how much.
My husband, who was wary when I was describing the recipe – he’s picky about his meatloaf, had two servings and claimed the leftovers for lunch. I loved it and as someone who doesn’t like meatloaf, that’s saying something. I asked him to rate it a 1 to 7, based on how many times a week he’d be interested in eating it. His answer was six.
Final Verdict: Success.
Meal Rating: 6 out of 7 nights.
So, before anyone ask. My weight’s at its highest yet. My depression could be a little better – life’s kinda stressful right now – but it’s been much much worse so I’m counting myself lucky.
Working out? Practically nonexistent. I’ve been meaning to get back into it, but that’s just not happened yet. We recently moved that that’s been kicking my ass, but not in a good enough work out kind of way. More emotional and mentally from the stress. And, as well all know, stress is not good for weight loss. Sigh. Tomorrow, once the husband leaves for work, I think I’ll take that huge step of wading back into work outs.
Eating? Yeah. Mostly fast food and take out. Bad. Very, very bad. Both on the budget and the waistline. But that’s going to change. Friday, I drug my hubby to the grocery store with a list of ingredients needed for 5 crock-pot meals. All of which have a large enough number of servings to provide leftovers. I’m on day #3 of my meal plan. All the recipes are things I’ve never tried before which is both very exciting and a little nerve-wrecking while waiting for results.
Why the crock-pot? Because it’s November and that means National Novel Writing Month. I haven’t missed a year since 2006 and I don’t plan on starting now. So I decided to come up with meal plans that would work with my writing schedule. What’s better than 15 min of prep for a delicious meal – that could normally take hours of my time to make – at the end?
Today, I tried something that was new for me on so many different levels… Crock-pot Roasted Chicken. I’ve never made a whole chicken before. Ever. So I got to experience the joy of trying to figure out how to get the bag of innards out of the inside. Note to self, turn the chicken butt up. So much easier than trying to pull it out the neck. Also, next time, do something with the bag of innards before one of the cat steal it out of the sink.
Anyway, look for reviews of my experiments to follow. ^^
Ended up forgoing both 30DS today and a walk with the dogs. Boohiss on myself. To be fair, I did a couple of push-ups to test how my arms were feeling and after three days, they were shaky at best. A day off will do them some good, I think. Additionally, as nice as the weather was, it’s been overcast all day and I’m not going to lie, I’m a chicken and had no desire to risk getting rained on for half of a hike.
Also, in shiny news, I was just informed that there is some mandatory class for work that I’m supposed to attend in the next week but nobody’s scheduling me the time to go to this goddamn class. So either I come in on one of my days off to take it when I’ve been scheduled to work six days in a row two weeks in a row now OR I come in on a day I’m scheduled to work and get overtime for it and then get bitched at for it. How shiny awesome is my job?
Just a quick update as my day has BARELY started, but I wanted to share that I’m down 2 lbs! Woohoo!
Will be back sometime later with news of my workout endeavors for the day.