Magic 8

So feeling skinny after my run and clean after my shower, I put the dress back on and put on some bright red lipstick to match, and some taller shoes.  The photos are below, if you can try to ignore some of the ridiculous faces I’m making.

so, my custom dress fiiiinally came!!  i’m a little worried it’s too tight, but i’ve decided to go with it.  it’s very curve-hugging but i am determined to like the shape of my body so why shouldn’t i show it off.  i know i have a little round bowling ball of an abdominal bulge, and saddlebags over my hips that are not going away, but if i really love my curves then i love those curves too.

I haven’t been shopping in a while (which is a breath of fresh air for my bank account) so nothing new to post here lol.  But, I was thinking about fitness and body image issues in general and wanted to ruminate on them in print.

First, fitness.  Last July, I had my fitness tested by being hooked up to some kind of oxygen meter and spinning.  I got my VO2max (49.2) and my RMR (1652), and a nice workout plan to follow to improve my running and cycling.  Well, I didn’t stick to the plan so much; you know what they say: life got in the way.  I consider it a win that I’ve been exercising as well as I have been at all.  But, I do feel like my fitness has improved a lot since then and would love to know my new VO2max, if it’s gone up, and my new RMR, if it’s gone down from losing 15lbs or stayed the same from building muscle. (I highly doubt I built enough for it to have gone up.)  But for now I’m not going to spend the $150, since I’m not committed to sticking to a training plan and haven’t made the decision to do a Triathlon or anything.  I know I need to “just do it”, BUT (I know, I know) it’s so hard to stay on a training plan that isn’t very flexible, oftentimes when I want to be doing other things. I don’t mean I’d rather be sitting on the sofa, I mean I’d rather be doing the elliptical than running or something like that, and I really don’t want to start to see exercise as a chore again.

As for the body image stuff, I’m sure I’ve written about this before, but it’s the same struggle with being “at goal” in some senses (happy where I am, body seems to like it here, I can maintain it, it was my original goal) and yet still wanting to lose a little more, less for the look than for the number and the “image” that I think goes with it.  Is it disingenuous of me to declare myself at goal, and still kind of wish that the next 5lbs would come off (I say wish rather than try bc I’m not giving it the effort I know it would take to actually shed those pounds)?  When will weight stop taking up so much of my mental energy?

The first is from Charlotte Russe ($36); the second is from ModCloth ($25)

still trying to figure out my curls.  i think the water in europe is better for them.  these are pics i took in austria when it was behaving rather well.  no product.

I got some new shoes; these new bamboo booties off Amazon for $25 and some steve maddens from TJ Maxx on clearance for $10.  I wasn’t going to get them, but they were 10 bucks so I did and I’m really glad bc they’ve totally grown on me.  Not something I would have bought a year ago, but I’ve been getting trendier since reading fashion blogs.  These are like three trends in one: peep-toe, cut-out, t-strap booties.  The other pair of booties I just wanted–i had been looking for a pair of black ankle boots and finally found the right ones for the right price.

…and came out with a totally different cute cocktail dress.  It’s an Alexia Admor, originally $239 that I got for $150 (marked down to $188 plus an extra 20% off sale items).  I pulled it off the rack bc I thought it was really cute, and it fit in a small, though I’m having some second thoughts now just bc I seem to have lost that feeling I get when I think something looks really really good.  Not just for this dress, but in general…it’s like I don’t know what’s cute anymore, and I used to have a really strong sense of that.  Anyway, I know I pulled this dress for a reason, and I can’t wait to wear it somewhere.  It would make the perfect Valentine’s dress, if bf takes me somewhere  nice.  His best friend and her bf are coming to town that weekend, so we might double date it, though I think that would be a little awkward.  I want to go out tho!  Anyway, here’s the dress:

The side and back views didn’t come out so great, but looked good in the 3-way mirror at the store:

And while I’m at it, here’s a dress I thrifted pretty much exclusively to wear with my new boots (The belt is mine):

So, I was at this store on Church St in Burlington called Ecco, where they have designer jeans and clothes.  I tried on a Max and Cleo dress that I fell in love with; it looked really good on me.  It is a gray bodycon dress with beaded straps that form a deep V in front.  I really wanted a bodycon dress, and this one was only $178 which is about as cheap as that store gets, but I still couldn’t justify spending that much money on a dress I had no occasion to wear.  I tried to find it on ebay to see if I could get it cheaper, but I couldn’t find it anywhere on the entire internet.

So, to console myself, tonight I went into TJ Maxx to have a look around, and I found this dress on the clearance rack.  I wanted to get it with those black strappy ankle-booties that are really trendy right now; they had some Steve Madden Girl ones for $35, but I already had shoes that would work with it and I didn’t want to turn a $10 outfit into a $45 one.  It is also bodycon and a really good neckline for me, so now at least I have a bodycon dress in my wardrobe.

…….

So, first things first.  I was worried about wearing tights under my dress for New Years, bc my dress clung to them and it gave me a bulge below the waistline.  In the end, I just sucked it up bc I had tall boots and it wasn’t too far below freezing.  I had tights with me just in case, but didn’t need them.  I was outside a lot, but walking (and tipsy) so I didn’t feel too cold.  Here are my favorite pics:

So, onto even more fun stuff–I got new boots in Zurich!! I wanted the Serena van der Woodsen boots from season 1 of Gossip Girl, which turned out to be Chinese Laundry from DSW, and I found these for under $100 which are pretty close, but brown instead of gray.  Still love them!   I wore them out with jeans in Zurich.  It’ll take some balls to wear them in VT, but regardless of how they look, I feel like a million bucks when I put them on so I’m sure I’ll find an occasion to wear them.  Maybe not with this particular dress.  I need a new denim mini; mine are all too big.  I also seemed to have gained almost 5lbs while on vacation, which doesn’t seem possible bco all the skiing I was doing and I wasn’t binging, and also swimming laps in the hotel pool and keeping up with strength training.  I also don’t feel like I look like I’ve gained weight, so I’m not too worried.  Probably just water/salt/travel/new routine/bit of real weight gain.

i wore this dress to my first dance in high school.  it fits like a glove :)  i wish i had an occasion to wear it, but i feel like a bride in it so i’m not sure where it would be appropriate, as there aren’t anymore winter homecoming dances in my immediate future