Fit After 40

Finding my future self


Nothing. Just nothing

Nope. Still got nothing.


Oh wait.  I resisted fancy coffee at Biggby.  And I ate Subway salad for lunch.   And I learned you can eat ASSparagus raw.  I’m willing to try it raw.  Maybe it’s like spinach.  I won’t eat that cooked unless it is in something tasty like my lentil soup or blended into spaghetti sauce or something. And Emma won’t eat a carrot cooked so it’s like her raw carrots.


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By flyawayfat
On March 8, 2016
At 11:16 pm
Comments :Comments Off on Nothing. Just nothing


So I keep having these dreams.  In them I am all alone.  They have been in different locales from the quiet woods to urban cities.  In each of them I have a small space.  One was a small studio apartment.  One was a very small cabin similar to those tiny houses but just a little bit bigger.  Once I was even living in a tent.  I only have a few possessions in each.  I have no clue where my husband or kids are. There doesn’t seem to be much interaction with others that are around.  In the woods it is all about solitude. In the urban areas I go places and do things and clearly there are people nearby but no one that I associate with.

I can’t help but wonder what these dreams mean.

I think I’m going to start downsizing our belongings.  There are things in this house that we no longer need, use or even want.  It isn’t so much as needing to have a yard sale but I guess I better get some stuff cleaned up and start braving the buy, sell, trade group and start selling some of it. I see no reason to donate some of these things that I could make money on.  Like the kids easel.  They haven’t used it in quite some time. Or some of the dishes in the kitchen.  Do I really need all of them?  No.  So room by room, I am going to start cleaning, sorting and either selling, donating or disposing.

Along with this downsizing theme I’m going to be once again tackling some weight issues.  I’ve come more to terms with some decisions I’ve made to cut certain people out of my life.  I’m beginning to realize that I don’t need to use my weight any longer as a shield from unwanted attention like I did when going through puberty.  I am who I am and I need to stay healthy.  Being morbidly obese is not healthy.  I might not be clinically sick yet with obesity related problems but it is just a matter of time before they start appearing if I continue on the path I’ve been taking.

I’ve been contemplating a third tattoo.  I have always known I want to get a trillium.  I love their simplicity.  I think I want to somehow incorporate some writing into it. Maybe something about not needing to hide as a reminder to myself.  I think I’m going to start looking into designing something.

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By flyawayfat
On August 20, 2013
At 9:42 pm
Comments : 0


I hate how I have a weakness when people are sick.  The kids were sick with the flu last week Mon-Thurs and the whole time they were ill I felt queasy.  They got better and so did my stomach.  I wake up this morning and DH tells me that he has been puking since 4:30 and instantly I feel sick again.  Darn power of suggestion. 🙁

Anyways.  Today’s weight was 293.0.  I have somewhat a full day ahead of me.  A little computer time this morning then I gotta go shower and do my errands.  Bank, bank, Post Office, meet for books, grocery store, pick up kids and I have to call to make a doctors appointment for my annual thyroid check.

As for food today I have no real plan yet.  My smoothie is almost finished.  I’ll probably have an egg and slice of toast for breakfast.  For lunch I think I’m going to have a can of soup and leftover salad.  I have NO clue what to make for dinner tonight.  DH won’t want to eat I am sure.  Maybe we’ll just have the leftover BBQ pork or something.  And veggies. I need more veggies today.

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By flyawayfat
On April 8, 2013
At 7:57 am
Comments : 0

Now what?

So, I experimented with dairy and gluten free.  No firm answers on either one.  I know I could keep trying different things but for some reason that seems like I am chasing a magic pill.  If I just give up one food I will magically be thin.  I realistically know that this is not true.  Plain and simple I just eat too much food.  Whether it be fruit and veggies or crap, it is too much.  My new goals are going to be to cut back on portion sizes.  This will include all meals.  I drink my smoothie almost daily so I know I am getting my fruit servings.  I need to make sure I am getting a variety of veggies.  Not just the same 4 over and over.

I bought a new fitbit and I need to work on getting to some basic goals on that.  I’m thinking at least 10 flights of stairs and 5000 steps to start.  I’m also going to work on my sleep again.  I’m only getting about 6 hours a night on average.  Minus spring break that is.  I’ve got to get to bed sooner.  So to start this new deal I am off to bed.  By the time I pack Dh’s lunch it will be 11:45 and up at 6:10. That will be me almost 6.5 hours of sleep.

Weigh-in will be in the morning.

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By flyawayfat
On April 7, 2013
At 11:22 pm
Comments : 0

gluten free

So I was gluten free for 16 days. I didn’t feel as bloaty and my stomach felt lighter. It didn’t feel weighed down and heavy. On day 17 I ate some wheat and immediately felt nauseous and sick to my stomach. It could have been nerves though about the visiting company we had coming.  I ate more wheat for dinner that night and again the next day. My stomach again felt heavy and full.  So I am back off the gluten as of Monday, February 11th.  I also made the decision to cut dairy in hopes that my cough would go away and my years would stop itching. Overall I didn’t think the wheat free was that hard.  I could still eat pizza fairly easily as Mancino’s has a gluten free crust.  I miss cheese. A LOT.  I have eaten cheese in some form probably every day for years and years.  I would also kill for some chocolate.  I broke down and bought a bar of 70% dark chocolate but it is not the same.

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By flyawayfat
On February 13, 2013
At 11:26 am
Comments : 0

stupid, stupid flu

Dh got me sick.  He’s had it for 10 days now.  Mine is not as severe as his but I’m on day 4.  The lack of severity could be a few things. One – women are just tougher than men.  Two – I’m sure the second is the amount of sleep I’ve gotten compared to him. He’s only been getting 7’ish hours a night and I was getting 9+ hours. Third – Did I mention women handle sickness better than crybaby men do?

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By flyawayfat
On January 4, 2013
At 3:42 pm
Comments : 0

Another new start

The pic below is the last 10 years worth of scale weights.

In August ’03 I joined Curves and started losing weight.  I was down to 232 when I found out I was pregnant.  In September ’04 I delivered twins at 284 pounds.  My weight has bounced up and down ever since.  I’m currently at 290.1 as of January 1, 2013.

I will be working really hard this year doing different things to get my life, weight, and health back in control.  Some will be food issues.  I’m not going to start counting or measuring anything quite yet.  For now I’m going to focus on just eating a little less with more veggies and fruits.  I’m in a January challenge where I have decided to give up the remaining soda that I drink and salty snack foods with more than three ingredients. So even though I am not cutting fast food yet I will no longer be ordering combo meals for myself that include soda.  That will open me up to ordering more sides with more salads and fruits.

The lack of salty snacks with more than 3 ingredients will keep me away from Doritos, flavored potato chips, Combos and the like.  I’ve decided that microwave popcorn will be my exception for now.  Eventually I will phase micro popcorn out for plain kernels that I will season myself.

Another change will be the exercise time.  I’ve signed up for a month at the gym back at Thanksgiving.  I did enjoy it.  I also signed up for their Biggest Loser challenge.  If you participate all 9 weeks then you get a month membership for free.  It is $50 a month or $39 if I do a 3 month membership.  Part of me thinks that my money would be better spent building a gym at home.  For $100 I can get a bench and a 100lb set of weights.

I sent my cousin who has a nice weight set a text to see if he is interested in selling it. I’ve also left two messages on Facebook concerning two sets that were for sale. I guess I’ll have to make a decision about what to do in regards to the gym.  ???

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By flyawayfat
On January 1, 2013
At 1:18 pm
Comments : 0

gym time

i’m starting to run again.  not far.  not fast.  but i am doing it. i will also be starting week 2 of my new rules workouts.  i think i’m going to have to start venturing over to the real weight side of the gym.  i need to find a bar and heavier dumbbells.  and a step.  tomorrow is just a cardio day.  i plan on getting in 45 minutes before heading home to start tacking the new quilt.

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By flyawayfat
On December 17, 2012
At 10:02 pm
Comments : 0


I am sad. I have been for days.  There has been another shooting and this time it was at an elementary school. Twenty first graders and 6 adults were killed.  The shooter also killed his mother and himself.

I do not have to much of a problem with guns.  They were in the house when I was growing up.  We had a variety of hunting rifles and shotguns.  They were only used to shoot deer.  I don’t have to much of a problem with handguns.  I will never own one but I can understand why some people do.  Thankfully I have never lived in a neighborhood where I felt the need to arm myself.

I do have a problem with assault rifles. I do not understand why any civilian needs one.  Ever.  If you are hunting deer you use slugs.  For anything else keep bird/buckshot in it. If you can’t hit your target with that than you shouldn’t be using it.  Same goes with handguns.  Six or eight shots should be more than enough to defend yourself from any would be attackers.  If you can’t hit them in that many shots than obviously they weren’t close enough to do you any harm.

So WHY assault rifles?  You don’t walk into the forest and shoot off 100 rounds for deer hunting to put food on the table for your family.  There is no reason to need that many shots to protect yourself.

A very good point has been made about the Chinese stabbings that also occurred this week.  Twenty two ( I think ) kids were stabbed but there were NO fatalities.  Same type of psycho but totally different types of weapons.

The real bottom line though is mental health.  That mom blogger talking about how she was his mom has hit the nail on the head.  Some people are broken and need fixing and the way the current healthcare is there are not enough hospitals to help them. You shouldn’t have to have someone arrested for something to get them in the system so that you can get them help.

There is another underlying problem though as well.  That is the media.  Doesn’t matter how I look at it they are sensationalizing these tragedies.  Report it and be done. There is no reason to fear monger and talk about it every single news segment for days and days on end.  That is not bringing the victims back and IMO does nothing to help prevent another tragedy. I can barely look at FB without crying.  But my tears are not going to help either.  I will agree that the victims should not be forgotten.  I don’t think I ever will.

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By flyawayfat
At 9:58 pm
Comments : 0

Back at it

So I’ve decided once again that I need to make time for taking care of ME.  Monday morning on the way home from school drop-off I stopped in at the gym.  I got a tour and a free visit.  I decided to start with one months membership.  I wasn’t super prepared to work out that day.  I didn’t have my iPod, a towel or an ample water supply.  I still decided to stick around and ended up doing 35 mins on the treadmill.

Tuesday, D decided to go with me.  We started on the treadmills and them moved to the cross trainer and steppers.  After that we headed over to the upper body section.  We didn’t do to much that day as she had to be out by 9am.  Ended up with about 30 mins of cardio and around 20 mins of machines.

Wednesday I kept one of the kids at home due to cough.  No workout for me.

Thursday I did 15 mins cardio to start, upper body weight machines and then another 30 mins of cardio to finish.

No school Friday meant no gym for me. I’m not quite comfortably leaving the kids home alone for that long.  Soon though.

Saturday we ended up going out of town for the day.

I woke up this morning and decided that I needed to hit the gym.  DH was not very pleased by the sound of it.  Acted like I was inconveniencing him or something that he was going to have to parent his kids for an hour or so.  Hello.  Turn on a cartoon, go eat breakfast, shave and shower and I will be home before you are ready to do anything.  Sure enough I was home before he was even done shaving.  He still had an attitude though and it pisses me off. He should be supportive of me and I don’t feel like he is.

I guess though that I need to stop looking to him for support in my weight loss goals.  If I don’t expect support I won’t be disappointed will I?

This weeks goal is to continue to watch what I am eating and get in even more fruits and veggies. I know food is such an important part of weight loss. I do know weighing or measuring stuff is more accurate but I don’t want to live my life doing that.  It sounds selfish and lazy I know.  But I also know that for the most part when I exercise I have a tendency to eat better.  As long as I stay away from rewarding myself for going to the gym like I did the last time I was a member. The one difference to that this time is the fact that I am making time first thing in the morning.  The only thing the drive thru’s are serving is breakfast that gives me incredible heartburn for the remainder of the day.  I think this is going to make a big difference.  And when I go out with C she is usually pretty careful to order a salad and veggies and to watch portions.  Dinner take out will be a problem but I will work it in somehow.

Off to go prep dinner and chop veggies for snacks and meals.

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By flyawayfat
On December 2, 2012
At 4:06 pm
Comments : 0