Ok so here I go again. I have lost and regained weight 4 times in the last 10 years.

The first time I gained weight was after my parents divorce. I was already a pretty unhealthy child. I have always been more into books and learning than sports and outdoor activities and I have never really enjoyed vegetables. Carbs are my true love! After the divorce my weight ballooned and by age 15 I hit the 171lb mark. I was devastated – being a teenager is hard enough but being a fat one is even worse. I had a great group of friends but I still felt uncomfortable about my weight all the time – at the beach, at sleepovers, at school, in shorts, in tshirts – everywhere! So I went on a crash diet over the summer, barely ate anything and dropped to 97lbs. I am only 5’2″ so I didn’t look too dreadful but I do know that weight isn’t healthy. Anyway shortly after I started dating someone (now my husband), who distracted me from my extreme dieting and I gained 20lbs. At 120 my body was healthy and a good size.

A year later I started university and reached 130lbs. Late nights studying, a ready supply of pizza and chicken fingers at the cafeteria at all hours of the day, and family stress helped me gain. I did however discover the gym so I think I would have gained more if I hadn’t been working out. Summer came though and I went home and didn’t have access to a free gym anymore and my weight suffered. My husband (then boyfriend) left the country for a three month internship and I was lonely. The summer ended and I was 140lbs.

I got back on track when I went back to school and back to the gym. I had moved off campus away from the bad foods and motivated by a trip to Florida in March I worked out really hard to get down to 118lbs. My husband had discovered fitness in this time (he had always been thin) and was not buff, muscled and lean (he has stayed this way ever since. He has crazy metabolism and will power. I went to Florida looking great and despite continuing to workout as regularly as possible over the next two years my fitness decreased. I join a ton of clubs at University, did an honours specialization degree in Politics and French, was president of a few other clubs and held a part-time job. It was a great deal of stress for me and gradually I packed on the pounds.

In 2008 at my wedding I had gained again to be 151lbs. I was so upset when I first saw the pictures. Looking back now I realize I looked beautiful. because I continued to go to the gym throughout my weight gain was distributed evenly and most people really thought I looked fine – not me though. I am too small to feel good at that weight.

In late 2008 and early 2009 I found 3 Fat Chicks. I participated in the forums, was motivated, ate smaller healthier portions and worked out vigorously. I got down to 124lbs and was happy, looked good and was healthy.

After I graduated from graduate school in 2009 I worked for 5 months at a job I hated. I went everyday and bought a donut at lunch to ease the pain of working in that terrible place – I cried all the time. My weight started to climb and I hit 130. This is not a bad weight for me and I eventually quit that job and got a wonderful job where I work now- My weight balanced out.

At Christmas last year I went to the Dominican Republic. I weighed 130lbs. While not my ideal weight I was firm and looked good in pictures. I am now 144lbs only 6 months later! This time positive developments derailed my weight loss. I began to act as a hobby in amateur theatre and was cast in two back to back plays, therefore from December to May I was either rehearsing three nights a week or performing on stage. I was exhausted and neglected the gym, there were also all the cast parties and get togethers with wine and cheese (my absolute favourite) and I over ate at all of them. I also in this time period began to take a correspondence course relating to my job. Then I got a promotion (YAY!) that required a lot more responsibility from me; unfortunately for 2 months my workplace didn’t have anyone to replace me in my old position so I ended up working both my new promotion position and my old position! I was busy! I barely slept, I started rewarding myself with Ice Cappuccinos and chocolate bars and low and behold I am now 144lbs!

I am not in another play for awhile and my company has hired a lovely girl to take my old position so I am now back to doing one extremely busy job, thank goodness. I really have no excuse not to lose this weight. I have to make it a priority and a life style so that in 2 years I am not back here telling this story! Even when my life gets busy or stressful I need to make my health a priority!

I am hoping that this blog will help to keep me accountable  for my actions.