I’m definitely on course to post a 60 pound loss for this year! Nearly half way there!

“We have a real life of our own.

Yes, we do.

That empty feeling, that sense that everyone except us has a life - an important life, a valuable life, a better life - is a remnant from the past. It is also a self-defeating belief that is inaccurate.

We are real. So is our life. Jump into it, and we’ll see.

Today, I will live my life and treasure it as mine.” 

 -Melody Beattie

I read this today and it went right into my heart.  I only have today.  I don’t know about tomorrow.  The grass may be greener somewhere else, but I am here.  What I do today matters.  I make a difference. That’s powerful!  It’s good to be living in the moment.

As the season changes this year I have lots to be thankful for! Good health - and improving each day.  A happy family.  Our finances falling into place as we work HARD to attack our debts. And so much more.  Last year at this time I remember how I was struggling, emotionally,financially and physically.  I never want to be in the state of mind again.  No matter what life throws at me.  I’m worth taking care of.

 Over the past few months I’ve become more aware of my thought patterns - how listening to negative thoughts can tear down my strength and resolution.  And how simply turning up the volume on thankfulness changes my whole view of life. 

I’m making a very conscious decision to engage in positive self talk.  I’m trying to treat myself as I would treat a dear friend.  It’s been a big transition to treat myself this way.   For so many years I focused on the negative internally - while *appearing* optimistic and happy to others.  And a lot of that was negativity about my body weight and relationship with food.  Not just my body and food though.  As a mother to 2 little girls I am determined to get this right.  I’ve spent too many years being negative about everything from the weather to my stomach to my little toenails!  I never want them to hear me talk negatively about my body.  I want to model healthy exercise behavior.  And show them a healthy relationship with food.  And above all else, be a genuinely happy and thankful woman!

I am going to attempt to log on here at least every day and write down 1 positive about my life, body, surroundings…anthing!

• I have a strong body.  A. Really. Strong. Body.  I love weight training!

Here’s a recap: Since beginning this journey on November 28th 2007, I’ve lost 44 pounds and can honestly say that it has not been difficult.  Sure, I’ve had set-backs and had old habits rear their ugly heads.  It hasn’t always been pretty.  It certainly has not been fast! But over all, it’s been very peaceful and I’m not doing anything that I cannot do for the rest of my life.  I do an minimum of 6 hours of exercise a week.  With it being about 60% cardio and 40% weight training.  I’m happy to report that I’ve gone from a size 22 to a size 16 and according to my personal trainer have only lost 3 pounds of lean muscle mass!!  So, nearly all the weight I’ve lost is FAT!  As far as a food plan goes, I bounce around between just calorie counting and The Zone.  I lose faster on The Zone - balancing carbs, fat and protein at each meal and snack.  But I don’t always feel like doing it.  In the back of my mind I have July 2009 as the date I would like to be at my goal weight of 160.