Marathon Mom

Weight: 159.8 (I knew those chocolate chip cookies were going to do me in!!)

I am BACK, baby!! Awake at 5:30 (my alarm was set for 6, I woke up early on my own! How’s that for mind over lazy ass!!) Dressed and ON the elliptical by 6, did 42 minutes (that’s how long an episode of Charmed on DVD is.) Then 50 crunches, 50 deep knee squats, 10 push-ups (girlie style, I have the weakest arms!) and 30 seconds held in plank position. Showered, dressed, makeup and hair and PRESTO! I am ready to go and it’s not even 7:30! Boo-yah!

OK, so I AM enjoying a can of Cherry Coke Zero right now. There’s one more in the fridge. When they’re gone, they’re gone (I didn’t even buy them, my kids got them for me as a surprise. Damn kids! LOL!!) I will be making a oatmeal pancake muffin thing to take to work. It is just oats, an egg, a little water, some Splenda and spices. Nuke it for a few minutes and it’s ready to go. It’s totally low carb, which is good cause of me being the total carb addict. The only thing it’s really lacking is much protein, just the bit from the egg.  I should add some protein powder, but I only have chocolate and… that really doesn’t sound that good with oatmeal. I’m going to bring a couple bananas for snacks at work today. And there is already the fixin’s for a big healthy salad in the fridge at work. My gym bag is already packed and in the trunk of my car. I am all kinds of prepared and ON IT!!

Today is going to be a great Monday. Especially since tomorrow I’m OFF and heading to Fresno for the day. My BFF has flown in for a week. (Her grandfather-in-law passed last week and his funeral is today. So tragic, he was checking the vineyards and killed in a farming accident. He hung on for about two weeks before he finally died. So hard on the whole family. I feel guilty for being happy that she is here, considering the circumstances. She has had a whole baby since I last saw her, she lives in Minnesota.) Fresno is four hours from here, so I’ll be spending most of the day driving! But we’re going to run away for a couple hours of girl time. Her husband is going to keep the boys so I can kidnap her! She is on Weight Watchers, trying to lose the last of her pregnancy weight, so we’ll be relatively “good”.

I will hit the gym today too. And tomorrow morning, I back on the road. I’ll be logging a 3 miler!

Oh, I should mention here. I’ve started writing movie reviews for a website (part of why I’ve been so extra busy lately. That and the sewing.) You can check it out here: Imperfect Women - just scroll down to the entertainment section. So far I’ve reviewed: Where the Wild Things Are, Paranormal Activity and most recently Motherhood. Next up will be Amelia, which I saw on Saturday. It’s nice to get back to my first love, writing.

UPDATE 3:33 PM

Had to improvise on breakfast. Oatmeal pancake thing was out and so I hit the grocery store for a Smart Ones frozen breakfast egg mcmuffin thing (pack of two for $3.00 - not too shabby!) I saw that Granny Smith apples are on sale for $.69/lb which is basically like STEALING!!! So I nabbed a bunch and had those for a snack instead of bananas (much better for me too!) Unfortunately, I also grabbed some roasted almonds. Too many roasted almonds. Drat!! Better than cookies, but not great.

Lunch was half a veggie sandwich from Subway (a co-worker brought in a foot long and then begged me to take half! Hey, I’m not one to look a gift sub in the mouth!)

I just finished off an early dinner (I had an early lunch too) of a taco salad - lettuce, grape tomatoes, chopped red onions, mushrooms, salsa, a little fat free ranch dressing, and some soy protein that was like ground beef with taco seasoning. YUM!!

I am not going to make it to the gym today. Which sucks. I really wanted to go but getting away from work is just not feasible today. And I can’t spare the time when I get home, I still have a couple of costumes to make. One of them is for my mom and it’s going to be somewhat labor/time intensive.

NO MORE FOOD TODAY!!!

Weight: 159.2

I think I should retitle this Pile-it-on Challenge!!

Exercise - nile

Food - ehhhhh… not great.

Challenge - we don’t need no stinkin’ challenge!

Ugh! I’d be frustrated with myself, if I had the time! Yikes!! At least I haven’t hit the 160s yet… of course, that could all change the minute I step on the scale tomorrow. I have got to get back on track. I haven’t run in weeks. I feel so OFF of everything. I even had a burger and fries the other day (and then a bad case of uh… Montezuma’s revenge later. My bod is not having any of THAT!) I’ve been drinking Diet Coke again… not even close to previous amounts. But still, I’ve started to crave it again. Bleck.

Oh, and since I’ve been drinking it again (maybe one a day, if that) I’ve noticed my energy sapped and more noticeably, my headaches are back. Almost daily. My sleep schedule is all f***ed up. It is NOT good for me at all. And yet, I have a cherry Coke Zero on my nightstand (empty, just finished it.) What is wrong with me? I need to cut them back out completely.

I’m back on NOW. Which, since I’m sitting in bed, isn’t really all that hard! But the point is, I’m not saying tomorrow, I’m saying as of this second. NOW! It is ON!!

I am going to sleep as soon as I sign off here. I will get up in the morning and hit the elliptical (still need to stick to the run schedule, which means run on Tuesday.) I will EAT BREAKFAST (I’ve been skipping again!) and lots of fruit. I will have a big, healthy salad. I will have healthy snacks. I will go to the gym (can’t remember the last time I stepped foot in that place!) I will get this back on track NOW!

And I will go back to daily blogging. I will finish this challenge! Dammit!!

Weight: too much pork and apple stew last night!

Sorry, everyone. I’ve been a bit MIA around here. I have a lot going on at home and I’ve not been able to spend any time blog reading. As it is, I’m barely eeking out a few minutes to post here. I’m hoping after this week things will calm back down a bit and I can get back on track.

Today is my oldest son’s 17th birthday. Finally, he can go to R rated movies without me. He’s jazzed! We’re going out to dinner with my parents tonite to celebrate. We rarely eat out because of a) expense and b) Sean’s food allergies. However, my ‘rents are paying and we’re eating at Mary’s Pizza Shack who offer a gluten free pizza crust! Yay!! They do not have casein free cheese, but you have two choices there. Either bring in your own cheese and they’ll make the pizza with that (I’ve done that in the past, it’s worked great!) or just get the pizza without cheese (which is the option we’re choosing tonite.)

My plan for today is to eat but keep things on the extra light side and just have one slice of pizza tonite. We’ll see how that goes. Oh, and there will be cake! And I will probably have one small piece. Cause TOM is here with a vengence right now and I LOVE CAKE!! If I don’t have a piece at dinner with everyone else, I’ll just obsess about it and end up having a super huge piece when we get home, eating two to three times as much as I would have if I just had a regular piece with everyone else. I know me. I don’t need to set myself up for a binge. And so I won’t. It’s ok to eat normally, to have a small piece of what you want. It’s the denial, the “bad or forbidden” foods list that jacks everything up. That’s not to say that I have foods I won’t eat because they are trigger foods for me. Like chips. And muffins. But I can have a small piece of cake and be satisfied. Unless I’ve denied myself the cake and then cave later on. Oh BOY, is that the set up for an out of control food orgy! No more. I know myself too well.

UGH - it’s just pouring rain out and I do not want to get up and moving today. I want to stay snuggled up in bed and sleep all day. Why must my life suck so? Ok, it doesn’t really suck. I’m just tired and lazy today.

Have a great October 13th everyone!!

Weight: 156.2

Tomorrow I’m tackling this hard again. Exercise, accountability, conscious effort. I’ve been crazy busy since last Friday. I’m just now trying to catch up with everything.

So tomorrow morning I’m back to getting up at 5am, exercising and taking the day head-on!

Weight: yeah, uh, let’s not go there. K, thanks!

Who suggested the low fat crackers and laughing cow cheese?!!! I’m guessing you didn’t mean for me to eat the whole box and entire wheel in one sitting, correct?! Next time, specify that please!!

PMS - I blame it for all the worlds’ ills… and my own. Cramps - PMS. Food cravings - PMS. Lethargy - PMS. Global warming - PMS. See, it works for everything!

I am trying so hard not to lose my focus. Exercise has gone right out the window. Why? I do not know! I’m not one of those people who hates exercise. In fact, I really love it. So WHY does my slothful, lazy, good for nothing mind keep convincing my body that it sucks?! I’m at a total loss here!!

I ordered some really cute shirts from Charlotte Russe last week and they came yesterday. This is a juniors’ clothing website and I got larges. I put the shirts on and they button up but… well… I need about 10 lbs off for them to fit properly. Great incentive, right? I have them hanging prominently in my closet, so I see them when I open it. I’m going to keep thinking of those shirts - 10 lbs ain’t that much. And I’ll have almost lost all the weight I put on over the summer. Keep FOCUS!!! KEEP FOCUS!!

I’m on my third cup of tea this morning. I’m trying to keep drinking it instead of snacking… hmmmm…. crackers and laughing cow cheese…. NOOOOO!! CUTE SHIRTS CUTE SHIRTS CUTE SHIRTS!!!

Oh, and the shirts are all plaid and flannel and girly - just like the ones Bella wears in Twilight!! I’m going to be so adorable… even though I’m mere months away from turning 40. Is it sad that I want to dress like a teenage heroine in a vampire movie?

Weight: 158.2

What happened to day 4? Eh, we don’t need no stinkin’ day 4!!!

Yesterday was good back on track, mostly. My mom brought one of those Costco size boxes of Wheat Thins into her office. That stuff is like crack! Everytime I walked into her office, I grabbed a handful without even realizing it. It was reflexive. My sister was at work yesterday and I noticed everytime she walked into mom’s office, she’d reflexively grab a handful. Is it genetic? But then, so did my brother-in-law! Has anyone done a lab study of Wheat Thin’s ingredients???!! What the hell is in those things?!

After the third handful, I went to Safeway and got some pita chips and hummus. Sure, they’re just gloried chips and dip. BUT, I was making a conscious choice to eat something healthy instead of an unconscious reflex to eat those tiny squares of EVIL!! And I didn’t even eat the whole bag (it was a small, snack size bag) or all the hummus - which is a first!! I ate a little more than half and put them both away. Hurrah! AND I didn’t have any more Wheat Thins after that either. I was done and it wasn’t a problem after that! Thumbs up for conscious eating!!

Other than that, yesterday I had several clementines, sushi for lunch (and a little TMI - I haven’t had sushi in like a month cause it’s fairly expensive. Well, it kept… uh… repeating on me last night! Ewwwww!!! It might be a while before I have sushi again! And I LOVE that shit!!!)

Then I came home and made Pumpkin cookies! My friend posted a regular recipe found HERE and I was inspired to make a GFCF version found HERE. And oh man, are they delicious!!! This is my favorite time of year to bake! I could easily spend all day and night in the kitchen baking baking baking!!! Zucchini bread and apple pies and all sorts of cookies… have I mentioned that carbs are my achilles heel??!!

Exercise…. yeah, I don’t wanna talk about that just yet! I know I need to get it back on track. I’m getting there. My knee is just frustrating me. I need to step up the cross training. That’s where it stands.

Before everything else: If you have the chance to go see Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D, GO!! It was so excellent. I forget how incredibly clever and funny those movies are!!! Over 3 hours (with a 10 minute intermission that’s almost too entertaining to miss!!) wasn’t too long at all. My two youngest only went to the bathroom during the intermission, which is saying a lot. The more bored they are, the more trips to the potty!! They were glued to the screen the entire time. However, I ate way too much popcorn and Sour Patch Kids!! And I drank a large Diet Pepsi (water just wasn’t cutting it, and drinking the soda kept me from eating even more.) I still feel sick this morning. Probably because I took Tad to see Zombieland last night (OMG - if you don’t mind gore, which I totally don’t, then you have to see this!! It’s brilliantly funny! Definitely!! Right up there with Shaun of the Dead! I loved Woody Harrelson in this movie, and I can’t STAND Woody!!) and I split and order of pretzel bites with him (though he ate more than half!! Brat!) and a large box of Junior Mints (I ended up eating more of those - UGH!) and I stole a few of his Reese’s Pieces (WTF was I thinking?!!) So this morning I just feel GROSS!! I mean GROSS!! All bloated and fat and just like I’m oozing grease and oil. Oh, the fruits and veggies are ON today!

I don’t know that I’m doing much with this challenge. I’m keeping it up right now just to help keep my focus. I had to bail on my 10K today. Last night, the slicing pain through my knee cap returned. There is no way I can run a 6.5 mile trail run with a 1000 foot elevation. Even if I somehow managed to make it all the way through, the risk of doing long-term damage is too great. And I need to keep my focus on Paris. So, I’m doing the right thing and not running. Which sucks. Cause I already paid for it and I’m a cheapskate and hate that I’ve shelled out money for something I can’t participate in!!!

So instead I’m taking advantage of the extra hours that’s giving me at home. It’s 6am and I’ve already been up for a half hour. As soon as I finish blogging here, I’m hitting the shower and then it’s cleaning time!! My oldest son didn’t do his chore (again!) last night and I just got him up so he can do it before he goes to work at 9 (I’m such a mean mom!! But he’s almost 17, he is old enough to do his chore!!) And when the cleaning is done, it’s decorating time!! I have more Halloween decorations than Christmas ones! It’s my favorite holiday.

I also plan on making Saturdays my weekly food and menu prep day (since it’s usually my only day off.) So I’ve been looking up recipes and trying to get things organized. We need to be eating healthier. And it’s going to take planning and preparation. I need to do that. So I’m starting today. I love fall - all the soups and stews and chilis. I heart my crockpot! Greatest invention EVER!!

As for today’s food and exercise. I’m going to try not to snack, keep to my calories, and clean the heck out of the house!! Have a great Saturday, y’all!!

Weight:155.6

Yesterday I figure (through My Daily Plate) that I ate around 1500 calories. Which mentally has me in sort of a panic because that is a high calorie day for me, which makes two in a row. But I had all really healthy food (except for the two marshmellow ghosts made by the Peep people, but oh how I love those. I had two and gave the rest of the package to the kids since they are gluten and dairy free. So even Sean could enjoy a few.) Yesterday’s menu was full of apples and clementines, a big salad with chik’n strips (meatless chicken like soy protein - delish!) and black beans and corn. The kids had pizza for dinner, so I had a Lean Cuisine BBQ chicken pizza (one of my very favorites!!)

So, when I got on the scale this morning, I shouldn’t have been surprised to see a loss on the scale. But I was. Because I ATE yesterday. And didn’t exercise. I’ve been getting an occasional twinge in my knee and with that 10K looming on Saturday, I’ve decided the best thing I can do is rest it completely until the race.

Even though I’m on day 2 of the challenge, I’m in my rest days. And that feels weird. I’m challenging myself to eat and do nothing! You know, in some ways, that is harder than working out 3 hours and eating a super restrictive diet!!

Speaking of today, I’ve taken the day off work. My two youngest have been home from school all week. Skye is still recovering from her surgery and Sean’s asthma has been in high gear. They are actually both doing fine today. But they missed all week and its Friday. Honestly, I don’t see any point in sending them to school today. So we are all playing hooky and going to see Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D!!! I also plan to get a little cleaning done, move around some furniture, and set up my sewing center in my bedroom. I’ve been meaning to do that since… uh… April!! Yeah, I am right on top of things! I don’t list procrastination as my biggest vice for nothing!!!

I better get moving. I am like a little kid excited to see Toy Story again!! I absolutely love these movies. And you should have seen me in the theater when I saw the first teaser trailer for Toy Story 3! I literally squealed really loud! I am more excited about that then New Moon, blasphemy I know!! But still true!!

Have a great Friday everyone! TGIF!!

Weight: 156.2

I want to thank everyone for their comments yesterday. It was directly because of all of you that I actually, consciously, ATE yesterday. I had a soy protein burger for breakfast and a taco salad with soy protein “ground beef” for lunch. I took my little man Sean out for an early dinner (I took him to the doctor for his asthma and SURPRISE! they had just gotten this year’s flu shots in that morning, so he ended up getting an unexpected shot. He felt less than happy about that!) and had some scrambled egg substitute, turkey bacon and whole wheat toast (off IHOP’s light menu, listed at 380 calories.) And then he and I split an order of french fries! I haven’t had french fries in AGES!!

Then my oldest needed to talk. She is worried about college and moving out and the future (she graduated in June and has Asperger’s syndrome. She’s living at home and working full time at my mom’s store, where I work.) Having a serious, quiet, uninterrupted talk at home=impossible! So I took her out to a little diner and we split a piece of warm chocolate cake ala mode (which I would have NEVER done, I would have had her get dessert and I would have sat there sipping water.) We talked and laughed and I reassured her that she always had a room with me. Always. That no one is pressuring her to move out. And that when you’re 18, you should be doing one of two things: going to college or working full-time. Right now, she is doing option B and that is excellent. She’s saving money for college and very much wants to go. But she’s afraid. We’ll get there. My nearly 17 year old son is a Senior this year and is planning college next year. So she wouldn’t be alone in a year anyway.

Then we went to a movie: Love Happens (Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston. It was better than I expected. BRING YOUR HANKIES!!) And we shared a box of Junior Mints.

So yesterday, I had half an order of: french fries, chocolate cake with ice cream and Junior Mints. And I felt good about it all!! I know the scale will reflect that this morning. Especially since my body was entering starvation mode with the low calories. So yesterday is what my bff calls a “metabolism building” day! LOL!! LOVE IT!! But she is right. Having the occasional high-calorie day keeps your metabolism UP. And I need to keep that in mind, like I did yesterday. It wasn’t a crazy day. I didn’t feel like I was binging out of control. I didn’t mentally scheme and plan how I was going to eat all this junky crap. I didn’t literally shake with excitement at the very thought of sugar and fat and chocolate. It just WAS. In fact, and here’s the kicker - that box of Junior Mints lasted the ENTIRE MOVIE!! I don’t think they’ve ever lasted through the previews before! But because I wasn’t hungry, I had one or two here and there - and so did my daughter. We finished the box just before the end credits rolled!! Mark yesterday in the history books, girls!! PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE!!

I feel like yesterday was a turning point for me. Normally, after entering starvation mode like that being super strict and restrictive, I would have gone on a binge. A really big, bad binge. And it would have triggered MASSIVE guilt. And I probably would have purged (yes, I have about a 20 year history of off and on bulimia.) And that would have started a vicious downward spiral… but instead I woke up this morning looking forward to my fruit for breakfast when I get to work (I can still feel the fries, cake and Junior Mints sitting like lead in my stomach. UGH!) And having my soy protein laden taco style salad at lunch. My now regular diet. I LIKE what I usually eat every day. It’s not a DIET in the four letter sense of the word. It’s my diet in that this is what I typically eat because I want to! It makes me feel better, my body works as it should. I just need to eat a bit more of it is all. Get my calories up to 1200 instead of about half that! I’m going to play around with what I’m doing and see where I can pump it up a bit.

I’m going to start a new 30 day challenge today. Except I sort of slept in this morning! Oops!! But I’m still going to start it. My October “Scare-off” Challenge! The last day will be October 30th - I need Halloween to be NORMAL! I will be eating some candy that day. And then probably start a new challenge November 1st to get me through to Thanksgiving. I like having the focus and committment of a challenge, it keeps me accountable with the exercise. Otherwise I tend to… uh… sleep in and blow it off!! LOL!!

Happy Autumn everyone (for me, it officially begins October 1st! Time to get out all the Halloween decorations and schedule a trip to the pumpkin patch!)