Marathon Mom

A.M. weigh-in: 151.0 (I can literally see the 140s just around the corner!)

Lately I’ve been eating 2-3 meals a day with a snack. Or I’ve been eating Weight Watcher 1 point mini bars ALL DAY (I think I ate 10 of them yesterday!) This is not effective for me, even if the daily total points are correct. My body functions more efficiently if I eat 6 mini meals a day, spaced out every couple of hours. It keeps my metabolism stoked and my blood sugar level. I just flat out FEEL better and there’s the added bonus of never being hungry cause I’m basically always eating. This is how I’ve lost weight in the past. It works for me.

Going to the gym is great. I’ve got a routine down and I look forward to going everyday. I’m a bit sore, which is good. It means that I’m doing something! I should start seeing some results in another month or two. I would really love to have some arm definition. That is my number one goal.

But going to the gym for 45 min to an hour everyday isn’t quite cutting it. My body is used to a harder workout schedule. And I’m not seeing the weight loss results that I would like. So I’m back to 45 minutes on my elliptical in the morning. No more staying up til midnite surfing the web so I’m too groggy to get up in the morning until I absolutely have to. I used to love my morning time - it was my “me” time. And I feel so much more organized and in control of the day when I can operate at a leisurely pace instead of running around like a frantic freak trying to get everything done before I rush out the door, late as usual.

So, that’s the plan.

UPDATE 1:42 PM

Decided to springify the page. Much better!!

I’m headed off to the MRI for my knee. Fingers crossed that I get approved for surgery QUICKLY!! And that it doesn’t interfere with my summer plans!

UPDATE 9:13 PM

I am EXHAUSTED!!! I did an hour at the gym right before my hour Tae Kwon Do class. OMG! The class has one man in his late 40s and the rest are kids in their teens (and a couple of black belt 11 year olds.) I am SORE. I feel old… and I need to remember to wear bladder control protection from now on!

Currently watching Yes Man for the umpteenth time - this movie was life-changing for me. I’ve heard it called recycled Liar Liar, that it’s not even Jim Carrey’s best work (and it probably isn’t.) But it’s the message of the movie that really resonates with me. Say YES to life! Embrace it! Don’t be afraid to really LIVE! That’s why I said YES to the Tae Kwon Do class. This is WAY outside my comfort zone, totally intimidating, and potentially really embarrassing. But I’m doing it - and I’m LOVING it!

A.M. weigh-in: 153.4 (heading south, thank goodness!)

Last night’s WW weigh-in: 158.8 (that’s 8.8 lbs up from my last weigh in 3 weeks ago. That IS also higher than my starting weight almost 3 months ago. That is so NOT COOL!!)

My biggest victory yesterday: I took 2 of the kids to see Earth last night and I did not eat anything! No popcorn, pretzel bites or frozen Junior Mints (my faves!!) Just a big Diet Coke. Considering the number of movies I see a week (several) and therefore the number of treats and calories I consume (vast!) if I can conquer snacking at the movies, I think that alone will be the difference between hitting goal weight and gaining all the weigh back. Seriously, I do SO much damage at the movies with candy especially.

Definitely planning another trip to the gym today. My arms aren’t nearly as sore today (I did upper body again yesterday) as they were last time and I actually pushed it more yesterday. Excellent. Today is lower body. I’m going to firm this bod up once and for all!

UPDATE 1:25PM

Hit the gym today even though I was looking for reasons not to. Weird, cause while I love escaping from work, I’m also a workaholic and so actually leaving work is hard for me. Though the minute I step foot in the gym I’m always totally glad I’m there. And I feel GREAT, especially afterwards.

For those keeping score, that’s FIVE days in a row. I’m on a roll!!

Breakfast: WW mint cookie crisp mini bar, WW cookies and cream mini bar
Snack: small pita pocket (plain, just the pocket)
Lunch: 6″ Veggie Delight from Subway
Snack: WW mint cookie crisp mini bar
Dinner: will be 6″ Veggie Delight

Mentally adding that up (since WW on-line point tracker is having serious issues right now) that’s only about 14 points for the day. Too low. I’m supposed to have 20. I’ll probably have another mini bar and another pita pocket which will bring the total up to 16. Four points to play with - awesome!!

A.M. Weigh-in: 154.0 (seriously SERIOUSLY???!!)

Skipped breakfast this morning and have now eaten most of a box of chocolate covered creme de menthe Altoids while drinking a Diet Coke. Can we say wholesome, clean, all-natural foods? No, apparently, we can not.

My arms are sore from my upper body work out at the gym yesterday. For those keeping score, that would be TWO DAYS IN A ROW! <- all caps wasn’t sufficient, had to go for the bold too!

Today is lower bod - Wednesday is an all-cardio day, then back to upper bod.

Food was Fabuloso yesterday…. right up until I pigged out on veggies about 9pm. What’s that you say, veggies are 0 point healthy uber clean and natural totally acceptable pig out food? Excellent I say! They were swimming in a vat of full-fat ranch dip; I believe I consumed a couple of pints. Oooooohhhh, you say! Well THAT explains THAT, fat-ass!!

Just ate the last Altoids out of the box… that was a brand new box about 10 minutes ago. Note to self: do NOT skip breakfast EVER!!

Small box of yellow bunny peeps are calling to me from the upstairs fridge… I hate them. They are taunting me. Pure evil…

I’m supposed to head to the gym in 10 minutes. So why don’t I want to go? Besides being totally buried at work - you’d think I’d be looking for excuses to get out of here for an hour. But I really need to go to the bank. I have no food here at work, especially with my stash of Altoids depleted. I feel LAZY. Lazy and mentally lost. I have no focus. I’m watching my weight creep up higher and higher and I feel totally inept, like no matter what I do it’s going to keep inching up. And yet, I feel only mildly frustrated. Like I don’t have the energy to care or berate myself. It’s SUMMER - we’re getting up into the 90s and I feel like I have the winter blahs.

UPDATE 12:50 PM

Currently eating lunch: bbq chicken salad I picked up from Safeway. I also grabbed a snack on the go thing with celery, baby carrots, grape tomatoes and light ranch dip cup for later. I’m all set… I hope!

I picked that up on my way back to work from THE GYM. Yes, I went. Did the lower bod workout machines. Feel good. Sore but in a good way. Three days in a row - look out, this might stick!

Now if I can just figure out a way to keep from my food raids at night, I’d be GREAT!

UPDATE 4:18 PM.

A little over an hour to go before I head home for the day. The next few hours are when I do the most damage. Whether its candy at the movies or while I working around the house. I don’t know why I get the urge to mindlessly eat late in the day lately. It used to be a huge problem and I changed all my routines hoping to adjust myself out of it. It had been working until recently. I think I’ve been eating dinner too early, for one. Usually around 4:30 pm. I’m just too hungry at bedtime. But I get off work at 5:30 and eating dinner at home has proved disasterous - once I start eating I can’t seem to stop. Need to figure this one out and soon!!!

UPDATE 9:30 PM

Watching the weigh in on Biggest Loser. Can’t even imagine how stressful that must be. I have my own WW weigh in tomorrow night and it’s going to be a big, fat gain. UGH. I do not even want to step on that scale. I am totally dreading it!! I have got to get my head back in the game. I’m planning another rafting/kayaking trip for me and the boys the week after school gets out. That’s 7 weeks from right now. It’ll be up in Oregon, and it will be hot. I’m determined to be able to wear a tank and shorts - and not be all stressed and self-conscious about my arms. I’m going to tone these babies up by then! By the end of the summer, the boys and I are hiking up Half Dome in Yosemite. We’re going to start doing small hikes and hills around here on the weekends. And early mornings once summer hits and they’re out of school. I’m getting our asses in shape, gosh darn it!

Nothing has changed. Still haven’t been to the gym. I do have my first meeting with a trainer tomorrow morning. At least I’ll step foot in the gym again.

I suck.

A.M. weigh-in: 148.4

Yesterday I signed up for a 12 month membership to the gym right next to work. Not even a block away. They’re open 7 days a week, have showers, spinning and kickboxing classes, and long hours. I get two free sessions with a personal trainer. I’m totally psyched. So, did I jump out of bed and hit the gym this morning. No. I didn’t. I’m too intimidated to actually GO IN! Even the idea of it makes me all nervous and squidgy inside. Why the hell is that? I mean, it’s a gym. And it’s not even that I’m fat and I worry about everyone pointing and laughing at the pathetic, uncoordinated fat girl. I’ve belonged to gyms before and loved them. But it’s hard for me the first couple of times I go, because I don’t know anyone and I feel like an outsider. Like everyone is part of this little gym-clique and I’m on the outside. I don’t know where I get this from. Once I go a couple of times, I’ll be fine. But ugh, I hate being the new girl!!