Marathon Mom

A.M. weigh in: 155.8

I did GREAT yesterday… and then didn’t go to TaeKwonDo and took my boys to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine instead (for my review, CLICK HERE). I ended up eating half a bag of mini MnMs… and then when we got home, for some totally unknown reason, I had a piece of leftover BBQ chicken pizza. Really??!! What was I thinking? I obviously was not!

So, this morning, did I resolve to do better? You bet I did… in between bites of THREE pieces of BBQ chicken pizza. Write this date down. So when the doctors ask, you’ll know precisely which day it was that I LOST MY FREAKIN’ MIND!!

UPDATE 8:16PM

Day has officially gone to hell. Just ate a handful of Doritos and washed it down with a few sips of Dr. Pepper! I hate Dr. Pepper and never drink regular soda. EVER EVER EVER!! Oh yeah, I’ve been beaten with the crazy stick. Did I mention that I consumed this while watching The Biggest Loser?! I don’t have a single marble left, do I?

A.M. weigh-in: 149.6

Seeing the 140s again feels SO good!! So good that instead of hitting the elliptical this morning, I went back to bed for an hour! Probably not one of my better moves, but I am still tired and sore. I am doing my hour at lunchtime at the gym today, though, so that’s back on track. I’m allowed a no-exercise day once a week, right? Right??!! Yeah, I’m going to call it that.

**I have to jump in here now about The Biggest Loser last night. OMG - what an amazing show!! Tara is kicking so much butt!! And Helen, HELLO Helen! She looks AWESOME! And she’s so tiny! Mike is blowing me away with what a difference! He’s like a whole ‘nother kid! And then there’s Ron… the godfather, this season’s puppetmaster and the man we all love to hate. I was kind of OK with him up until he flat out LIED to Bob, straight to his face without a hint of hesitation or remorse. THAT was totally uncool. It’s one thing to game play, it is a GAME with prize money afterall. But don’t freakin’ insult people by lying to them. Man up and own what you’re doing. I have ZERO respect for him! ZERO!!! Less than Zero! Do whatever you want, but don’t LIE TO BOB! That is just wrong and now all of America hates you. Idiot!

Oh, and poor poor Bob. There is no way in hell that Ron is going to win this. Which means once again, it’ll be one of Jillian’s team on that winning scale in the finale. AGAIN. For those not aware, Jillian has never lost a season. Ever. EVER. And people wonder why everyone wants to be on Jilly’s team. DUH! She is kick-ass AWESOME!! I want to be her when I grow up! Ok, back to your regularly scheduled programming…**

Food I think I’ve finally gotten a handle on. I’m finding that I really have to MAKE myself get the snacks during the day. And it’s not cause I’m not hungry, cause I AM TOTALLY HUNGRY. It’s because I’m too lazy to stop work, go upstairs and get it! Yep, that’s it. LAZINESS!! What a shocker, huh? Yeah, NOT! I got as overweight as I did in the first place out of sheer laziness. I stopped moving, thinking or even caring. I need to shake the last of this laziness once and for all. Mentally I’m totally a go-getter… however, I tend to be more of a planner than a do-er. I’m really working conquering that. But I’ve come to realize that just like eating right and exercising, it’s not something I can do for a short time and then stop. I’ll have to always consciously work at it. It will never come naturally for me. Naturally, I am a slug. A couch potato. A television addict. A procrastinator. I don’t want to be those things. I certainly don’t want to be perceived as any of those things.

And so I battle on. I have my Weight Watchers meeting tonite. I’m definitely looking forward to weigh-in after last week’s ungodly gain of 8.8 lbs (that was in the three weeks since the last time I’d weighed in.) While all the weight I gained won’t be gone, a good chunk of it will be. And it’s always nice to see a loss.

I just realized that today makes it 15 weeks since I rejoined WW - and in that time, I haven’t even been able to hit my 5% loss mark. It took me 6 months the first time I joined (back in 2006) and weighing in at higher than my starting weight, to finally get my butt in gear and start really losing weight. I lost 50 lbs after that… and have kept it off. So I guess I’m slow to get started, but when I do, it’s for real. I can live with that, I suppose. I just wish I wasn’t so slow out of the gate. I am determined to finish it this time around.

My mom has dropped. She just wasn’t into it and it was like a game for her, seeing what she could get away with, cheating whenever possible. She wasn’t taking it seriously, and then she actually bawled out the ladies who run our meeting a few weeks ago because they weren’t carrying the foods that she likes and Boom! It came out that the only reason she had even renewed her membership in the first place was to buy the food. I told her I could totally pick it up for her, or she could herself without being a member. There wasn’t a discount and it wasn’t required to be a WW member inorder to buy the food. I don’t think she had realized it up until then either. So she let her membership expire and I’ll be picking up whatever she needs when I go. I’m really ready to be on my own with this weight loss. We have very different styles and ideas about health, nutrition, etc… She really honestly believes that as long as her points total for the day, it doesn’t matter if she at vegetables (which she hates) or had 18 points worth of ice cream bars. She will eat an entire box of WW fudge bars at night, because they are only 1 point each! She doesn’t think there is anything wrong with that at all. This is how I was raised. Totally screwed up. She would eat entire BUCKETS of Red Vines, because they were fat-free so that means they’re not bad for you, right? It still amazes me that she’s never had a serious weight problem. When we joined back in 2006, she was carrying probably an extra 40 lbs. She had lost 35 of that, but then we quit and she regained 15. She’s lost about 5 since rejoining and has decided she doesn’t really care anymore. She doesn’t look overweight AT ALL, and really that’s only an extra 20. But the point, I guess, is that she’s learned NOTHING about nutrition in all our time at WW. NOTHING! That thing with the whole box of ice cream bars - she just did that last night. Or my favorite, she’ll eat her points in WW bars all day. No real food.

Oops just realized it’s gym time! Gotta run!!

A.M. weigh-in: 150.2 (sooooooo damn close to crossing back over!)

Last night was my first real TKD class - average age of students: 16. I was the only adult female. There was one adult male (prob. late 40s or early 50s and his son was also in the class.) The rest were kids, mostly high school students (a couple are friends with my 16 year old!) and a couple of 10 year old black-belts. I feel old, sore and tired. It didn’t help that I did a hard hour at the gym before I went! I did love it, though. All the kicking! That is AWESOME!! At the end of the class, we do these running flying kicks into a punching bag. So very Bruce Lee!! I’m totally into it.

However, I woke up this morning barely able to move. Between the 45 minutes yesterday a.m. on the elliptical, the hour at the gym and then the hour TKD class afterwards, that’s nearly three workout hours! OUCH!! So I skipped the elliptical and slept in a bit longer. It didn’t help that the temp has dropped here and it’s cold again (cold like in the ‘60, I know that downright balmy for most of you, but here in NorCal that’s CHILLY!! We’re big wimps like that!) All I want to do is snuggle down into my toasty warm bed when the wind is blowing off the Pacific like that (I can actually smell and feel the salt on the air, we’re right at the coast here in Marin.)

I WILL hit the gym tonite, probably right after Sean’s TKD class. I have to run errands today during my lunch, so I can’t go then. Bummer.

I REALLY want to run a marathon this year. A half at least. I’m counting on knee surgery soon to get this taken care of and me back on track!!

Food these days is mostly salads and sushi, fruits and veggies. At least a couple of cups of green tea, too.

UPDATE 4:31 PM

Eating a grilled chicken salad instead of the Weight Watchers bar that I really wanted. Which would have left me unfullfilled and unsatisfied and worst of all, STILL HUNGRY!! So I MADE myself go upstairs to the kitchen area here at work and fix a salad - no frankenfoods, which sadly does include WW products. Even though I did have a Soy Joy bar last night after class cause I needed SOMETHING. Let me tell you, those things taste like CRAP!! UGH! It was terrible! I can’t believe these things are still on the market - YUCK! But anyway, I’m eating a very healthy salad made with grilled chicken, spring mix greens, snow pea pods, broccoli, cauliflower, grape tomatoes, mushrooms and topped with salsa. It’s all kinds of healthy, baby!

UPDATE 8:27 PM

Currently watching Biggest Loser - still the single most inspiring show on television! I was just too cold, tired and sore to hit the gym tonite. So I’m giving myself the day off with a promise to hit the elliptical in the morning and spend an hour at the gym tomorrow at lunch, my normal routine.

OMG - Tara looks AMAZING (just saw her before and after stomach pics in the doctor’s office!) Talk about inspiration!!

I’m totally side-lined and trying not to be overly bummed out about it. The torn cartilege in my knees from my high school track days has finally caught up with me. My left knee is out of commission. I saw the doc and had bloodwork and x-rays today. The follow up appointment is next week, hopefully I can get the MRI then too. They are fast-tracking me cause I’m looking at surgery. I’m hoping for next month. I’d like to have this done and over with by my birthday in April. What sucks is that my next 5K, 10K, 12K and half-mary are definitely out now. Freakin’ A, I really wanted to do them and run that half-mary the week after my birthday.

And what really sucks is that I really depend on exercise to lose weight. And I can’t do any form of cardio at all. Bending and flexing my knee is the problem. I can’t think of one single cardio exercise that doesn’t require the use of your knees! Sure, I can lift some hand-weights and do some ab-crunches, but that’s not going to burn the fat. <total head banging>

So, I’m left to just counting points. This seriously does not work for me in the long term. I’ll be losing like a half a pound a week. I also need the exercise to help me sleep at night, and it really does keep my focus and appetite in check. Now I’m frustrated and just want to snack/graze all the time.

ARGH!!!! I’m sipping tea right now and trying not to eat the fridge out of frustration. It helps that Biggest Loser is on and Joelle just scored a big fat weight-loss ZERO - so there’s a little motivation too!! I just imagine Carla coming to kick my butt!

Today started off on the wrong foot. Literally. I went to get up for my morning workout and could barely move. I’m SO stiff and sore. I’ve been overdoing the exercise and not taking any days off to give my muscles time to rest and heal. And it caught up with me today. Pain. Having trouble standing, having trouble on the stairs. Not good, not good at all. So I took today off even though I really didn’t want to.

And for whatever reason, I was hungry all day. I’ve been fantasizing about a meatball sub from Subway for days now. Today especially. I stuck with my menu… up until I got home tonite. And then I had two hamburger patties, a bag of Smart pop kettle corn, and a whole bunch of french fries. But I didn’t feel like I had an out of control binge. I was hungry. And except for the french fries, my food choices weren’t horrible. Ah, but I do love the french fries. I’m not hungry anymore, thank goodness.

Just had to run and pick my daughter up from play practice at high school. I missed part of The Biggest Loser, I’m kinda upset and I find myself now heating up a waffle. Part of that is because the fries are not sitting well.

Tomorrow is another day. I’m chalking today up to “metabolism building” and sticking with my resolve not to feel guilty. I was hungry. I ate. I could have made MUCH worse food choices than I have. I’m going to be ok with this.

Public Service Announcement for all Biggest Loser and 49er fans! Steve Young and Jerry Rice will be appearing on tonite’s The Biggest Loser!! This is the best thing to happen to the show since Jillian rode up on that motorcycle two seasons ago and took charge of the renegade black team!!
You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

That’s two days - count ‘em two days IN A ROW that I’ve worked out first thing in the morning! I am on a roll!! And just in time to take the holidays head on. Bring it!

I’m currently working Jillian Michaels’ 5 DVD set “The Biggest Winner” - I figure it’s perfect for the week. On the weekend, I can do my Biggest Loser DVDs - Power Sculpt and Cardio Blast (or something like that.) I’m also hitting the elliptical and just started week 2 of couch to 5K. I guess that seems like a lot of exercise, but if I don’t workout that much then I either don’t lose weight or actually gain. Even eating as little as 800 calories a day. My metabolism is totally messed up from years of yo-yo dieting and then the past couple of years of bed-rest (miscarriage, pregnancy and post surgery complications) and/or total inactivity. And, I’m not 25 anymore.

My biggest YAY of the day - weighing in at 155.8. FINALLY broke thru that 156 barrier that has been taunting me. Now take it, its only .2 from what I’ve been weighing for most of the past week, but still.  I’ll take it!! Now for my next MAJOR obstacle: getting past 150. Seeing 149.8 or less on the scale will probably bring me to tears. I haven’t been on the down side of 150 since early 2000. It’s been almost 9 years, most of that time spent either just above or slightly below 200. I’ve been wanting a tattoo for a few years now. I have a line drawing of a phoenix, very small, very subtle. But I promised myself when I first started thinking about this years ago, that WHEN (not IF, WHEN) I break through 150 I’m getting that tattoo. I’m bound and determined to say hello to 2009 with my first ink.

Tonite begins the first of a series of daily challenges. I have to bake pies. Not just any pies: pumpkin and apple pies - gluten and casein free pumpkin and apple pies. My son Sean is allergic to gluten, casein and peanuts. So I get to be all creative. I love a good challenge. This is my first year preparing a full GFCF T-Day dinner. So Wednesday night, I’m preparing the rest of the food. Thursday will be spent at my parents’ house with the rest of the fam. But then the kids and I are going to leave just before dinner is served and have our own dinner at our house (we only live a mile away.) Trying to figure out what’s in each dish, which sauces were used, analyzing every item used, combing through their recipes is just exhausting. I’ve done it for a year now and I decided to cut myself and everyone else a break. It’s too hard for Sean to sit at a table with everyone and not be able to eat most of what is served, especially things he loves like dinner roles. The GFCF variations are just not the same, so we don’t really eat much of that anymore.

I’ve changed our diets to better fit his. It’s just easier that way and I don’t have to worry about him eating something he shouldn’t. But the extended family (especially my mother) doesn’t want a GFCF turkey dinner, they want all their favorites. None of which are safe for Sean. And really this way it’s nice, the kids and I get to spend part of the holiday at home, just us.

We’re going to watch movies, put up and decorate the tree, and get our Christmas on! We’re more relaxed and we’ll probably be in jammies and just hanging out. I’m NOT a formal person. Dinner will be served on paper plates with plastic utensils. I know I don’t want to spend my holiday doing dishes, and neither do the kids. I have logs for the fire and a little stock of spiced apple cider (naturally GFCF.) Now if I can just keep from gorging on all the snacks at my parents’ during the day! That will be the biggest challenge!