Marathon Mom

A.M weigh-in: 170.2

I ended up in the ER at 2:30 am with Sean and Skye, both running fevers of over 102 and Sean having a mild asthma attack. It was time to see a doctor. And to be tested for swine flu (or any kind of flu.) Thank goodness that came back negative! Whew, big relief. Swine flu is active in my area, and it’s actually a real concern here. The doctors were worried (and very relieved) when the swab was negative. So it’s some sort of viral illness, that will run it’s course. And they’ve prescribed Sean more steriods for the asthma. This is difficult. Hopefully they’ll all be feeling better by the weekend. I need some sleep!!

I picked up Yoplait fat-free yogurts, grapes, 60 calorie pudding cups, and some of those Knutsen cottage cheese double things. And sushi for today’s lunch. Cause I love it and am worth it.

And then my co-worker gave me a box of veggie crackers and a small block of extra sharp cheddar cheese because she didn’t care for them. And I am not one to turn down crackers and cheese. I wish I were! I only ate half the box of crackers (do I get extra points because they contained flecks of vegetable flavored bits?) and about 3 of the 6 oz cheese block. That, my friends, is called restraint!

I SHOULD go home and at the very least walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes just for the sheer point of doing it. I WANT to go home and climb in to bed while watching reruns of Friends on TBS. I most likely WILL stop at the grocery store on the way home for more meds, something for dinner, and then proceed to cook, clean and do all manner of motherly things domestic. Or grab Taco Bell and blog-surf. It’s really 50/50 at this point.

I would do just about anything for 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And yes, drugging my kids with cough syrup has been suggested by well-meaning friends. Did you know that a small percentage of the population become exciteable and hyper when given cough syrup that normally renders the rest of us comatose? Guess which percentile of the population Sean falls into? All I can hope is that the ‘roids do their trick soon and he’s not hacking up a lung all night, unable to get enough oxygen into his little lungs. I know I complain, but he’s the one suffering (well, I am suffering a little *pity-plea*)

All fingers and toes crossed for tomorrow being a better day.

And so I am once again back at Disneyland! Third time this month. That’s gotta be some kind of record for a non-local! Especially since I also don’t have a season pass (though I do have free tickets this time and they had an expiration that was coming up right quick.)

This trip is just me and Sean. We are taking things slower and I’m trying to have a more stress free visit. We drove down yesterday and got in around 5:30pm. We had dinner reservations at Goofy’s Kitchen last night. I’ll go into that in more detail on my regular blog when we get back, mostly focusing on the dining with food allergies experience (it was awesome!) Here I’ll just put that I ate TOO MUCH. I still feel sick and bloated and gross… and we have breakfast reservations at the Plaza Inn in less than two hours. UGH! But both places really cater to those with food allergies, and so that’s where it’s easier to eat.

However, both places are BUFFETS. EXPENSIVE BUFFETS. And I am cheap. And poor. And $31.99 just for ME (not including tax and tip) was more than I spend on food for myself for a week. So, I felt the need to EAT $31.99 (plus tax and tip) worth. Even though I was stuffed. And more stuffed. And then I had a couple of bites of dessert. Cause HELLO, I ate two plates of food, I HAD to have some dessert. I sort of squished in a few bites of a brownie and two bites of this lemon square thingy. I left most of both of the plate. Not because I wanted to, but because I literally could not squish another bite down. And I tried, trust me. Cause I think I only ate about $17.82 worth. I just wasn’t that hungry. ARGH!!!

And now we are going to go thru this all over again. I don’t think the Plaza breakfast is quite as expensive, more around $25. And there are waffles in the shape of Mickey Mouse’s head, which we all know makes them taste better!! (oh, btw - those Mickey Mouse waffles… they’re gluten-free! yep, the same waffles that EVERYONE eats are gluten-free!! This is NOT ACCURATE! The info I was given my last visit was incorrect!! The regular Mickey Mouse waffles are NOT gluten-free!!! NOT GLUTEN FREE!! I’d hate to think that anyone allergic to gluten had read this and then eaten them thinking they were safe. They are not. The chef will make some special upon request! You’d NEVER know it. NEVER!! I love Disneyland! LOVE THEM!!)

So, my goal with the Plaza Inn breakfast buffet extraordinaire is this: only eat what I absolutely LOVE. If I take a bite and it’s not uber-delish, then I’m not eating the rest of it just cause I took it. I know it’s wasteful and that goes against every fiber of my being. But right now, I’m amassing a LOT more being-fibers and I can’t keep eating just out of guilt. So, I’m saying TO HELL WITH IT! And I’m going to be wasteful! So take that, MOM!!!

BTW - Sean has been awake since 5:30!! OMG. I am exhausted and we haven’t even started today yet! Park opens at 9, but we head over at 8 since we have early entry because of the breakfast reservations. I feel so special!! It’s open til 10pm. I don’t think we’ll make it til close this go around. Sean wears out easily. I’m bringing his inhaler and epi-pen. His nebulizer is staying in the hotel room. Any exertion is really triggering his asthma these days. I’m just hoping we have an incident-free day!

A.M. weigh-in: 159.6

Kids are doing MUCH better!! I put Sean on the bus a few minutes ago, all ‘roided up but no wheezing and with a full nights’ sleep. He was happy and practically skipped out to the bus. I’m hoping he has a wheeze-free day. Skye’s rash is almost completely gone. Her face is back to being pink and rosey instead of red and swollen. She’s not happy about going to preschool, but she never is. So she’s back to normal too.

And I got a full night’s sleep. Mostly. I didn’t lie down til after 11pm and I was up by 6am. So I’m a little tired since I really need more sleep than that. But I’ll take it. I have a dental appointment at 11am to replace a filling that fell out a week ago (just before we went to Disneyland!) Yeah, really looking forward to that!

And I have Weight Watchers tonite. UGH. I’m up from my highest weigh-in weight last meeting. I’m just really going in the wrong direction and I do NOT want to weigh-in. So, here’s my dilemna:

Should I suck it up and weigh-in tonite or should I take a pass since seeing another gain will probably cause some major depression?

A.M. weigh in: I don’t wanna know - my clothes are all tight. I bought bigger pants the other day. It’s not good. And I can’t handle any more bad news right now.

The healthiest thing I ate yesterday was a Southwest Grilled Chicken Salad from Jack in the Box. Mostly I ate Doritos, Cheez-its, Twinkies, Ding-Dongs, a couple of candy bars and a big handful of Skittles (should have read my own post, but I didn’t care!) I woke up this morning feeling bloated, like I no longer fit in my own skin, hung-over and depressed. A sugar crash supreme. Oh joy.

I had to give Sean a dose of Prednisolone (steroids) last night even though it made him shaky and hyper. He was starting to wheeze again. Then I gave him a breathing treatment and held him while he shook for the next half hour til he finally fell asleep. He did sleep restfully and without incident last night. I woke up every couple hours to check on him, and was haunted by weird nightmares when sleep did find me. Oh joy.

Sean is wheezing lightly again this morning. I thought this was going to be another round of “bring your asthmatic child to work” day. Ah, but I got a little bonus surprise about 20 minutes ago. Skye asked me to look at her back. I expected to see a light sunburn from swimming on Sunday. What I didn’t expect to see was a rash covering her entire back… and arms… and legs!! It’s a very fine rash and you have to look closely to realize what it is. Also, her face is slightly sunburned (not concerning) but swollen to the point of looking odd, almost unrecognizable (very concerning!!) So she now has a doctor’s appointment in less than an hour. I just hope she’s not contagious! Oh joy.

This is when the single parent thing REALLY starts to get to me. I am TIRED. I have no one to share the burden of worry with. Grant it, both my ex-husbands were totally useless in the Dad roll when dealing with sick children. But at least having another adult there just helped emotionally. There are days like today when it just feels like too much for one person. I know I’ll get through it and be just fine. I’m just a little sleep deprived, over-worried, and stressed. My ezcema broke out on my hand - it only shows up when I’m under enormous stress. It’s my personal “check engine” light and means that I need to RELAX.NOW. Say it with me “oh, joy!”

UPDATE 5:38PM

Thanks Beerab and Tiny2b for your words of encouragement. Today didn’t go nearly as badly as it looked there for a while. The doctor believes both Skye’s rash and Sean’s asthma attack were a reaction to the pool chemicals. Which totally makes sense. However, my stepdad says that he hadn’t added chemicals recently, at least for a week. So, I’m not sure if we’ll be taking advantage of the parents’ swimming pool again this summer. Which does totally suck. At least Skye’s rash isn’t contagious. I have a note for her preschool stating such, so they won’t bar her attendance tomorrow when I try to drop off Princess Rash.

Despite my best efforts, I’ve been on plan today! LOL!! I didn’t have time for anything more than a Coke Zero until 1pm. I grabbed my go to Southwest Grilled Chicken salad (Beerab, I only use half the packet of dressing. Honest!) and I just now had a Lean Cuisine chicken primavera something or other that was only 220 calories. Oh, and my mom gave me one of her WW peanut butter bliss bars (1 pt.) when I was whining about wanting an ice cream cone from McDonalds. No junk food AT ALL! I totally would have too, but I just haven’t had time or access. Which is oddly awesome! And now that I know the kids are doing better, my stress level has fallen sharply. No sarcasm whatsoever when I now say OH JOY!!

A.M. weigh in: no idea

Breakfast: Doritos and Coke Zero

Hours of sleep last night: less than 3 total

Skye’s birthday party yesterday, kids went swimming. Sean’s asthma flared up. And got worse. He wheezed all night, had to give him breathing treatments every few hours. He just had a hot bath this morning. I can hear him wheezing from across the house. Time to take Skye to preschool and get him in to Urgent Care. Last time we went through this, he ended up being rushed by ambulance from Urgent Care to the Er. Took about 6 hours to get his oxygen levels up to the normal range. Still don’t know why. And don’t know what triggered this round. Or why he’s not responding to his meds. I was hoping he was starting to outgrow this. It’s been 18 months since his last serious attack. Before then he was having at least one a year. Damn it! Can’t this kid get a break?! Food allergies, autism, asthma… and probable dyslexia and bipolar disorder. He’s only 7!!

Tonite is the end of two very stressful days. My computer at work DIED. Motherboard burned out. I’m filling in for the secretary of my stepdad’s company along with doing my regular jobs. Surprise, Sean has minimum days this week, he gets out of school before all the other kids, so I have to go pick him up instead of having the bus drop him home because no one would be there. Then today he had an asthma attack at school. I got a letter that a bunch of my paperwork needed for childcare expenses apparently wasn’t received and its in danger of being cancelled. I could go on and on and on.

Normally, this would be the time that I would throw my hands up in the air and head for the nearest drive thru, for a big burger and fries to help get me thru the day. After all, dealing with all this stress, I “deserved” it, right? Well, yesterday I had a different thought, one that surprised me. With all that’s happening, all this stress, what I deserve is to eat healthy! I need nutrients to fuel my mind and body, not fast food, fat and empty calories to weigh me down and make it even harder for me to cope!!

This is such a huge break-through for me! And you know what, by the end of the day today, everything was under control and looking up. And the best part, I made smart food choices, so I feel good about them too! I am so proud of myself, not something I say very often!

And I got my water in today! Yay me!!