Marathon Mom

A.M. weigh in: 147.2

I’m TRYING to find my motivation… and I did!! Well, I will have, starting Monday morning: Tiny2B’s Slump Buster Challenge. I’m uber-competitive and this is right up my alley and TOTALLY what I need!! Thanks Shana!

I’m hoping that next week I can break through my low weight wall of 144.4 - that would be awesome! I skipped February’s measurements because there was no change. So I’m doubly do up this month, and that would be Friday the 13th! It’s always been a lucky day for me, so fingers crossed!!

8:09 pm UPDATE

I’ve done pretty good today. I didn’t eat a single Snickers or Twinkie. Major accomplishment. Actually, the bigger accomplishment is that I didn’t CRAVE them like I have lately. I’m getting back on track, mentally. I felt more in control today. Whew.

The kids and I had turkey burgers for dinner. Only I did a little calorie and carb saving trick with mine. I took one turkey pattie (fully cooked) and cut it up into bite size pieces. I used two LaTortilla factory low carb tortillas and put lettuce, tomatoes, red onions and pickles on both of them, then split the burger pieces evenly between them. A little squirt of spicy brown mustard and YUM! They were SO filling and delicious. Much more so than just one turkey burger. AND lower in calories, carbs and points. I love having little tricks like this up my sleeve.

Oh, and I totally resisted those peddlers of evil (aka the Girl Scouts and their cookies.)

A.M. weigh in - 151.0

Wow, it’s amazing what a sucky start I’m off to. Especially since I ate several handfuls of Frosted Flakes for breakfast. And I’m already halfway thru my second 20 oz bottle of Diet Coke today… did I mention that it’s only 11:47 am?!

I gonna pull a Milli Vanilli and blame it on the rain. I’m all depressed and don’t wanna eat right or exercise. I feel like an oversized spoiled child and YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!!!

BLAH! So there!  –  hoping I can pull my head out of my ass before I do too much more damage.

3:02 pm UPDATE

I had a Taco Bell Fiesta Taco Salad for lunch - that would be like 140000 gazillion WW points. I think I get to deduct .001 points because it has “salad” in the title.

I am currently craving a Snickers bar. Can I count the peanuts as a serving of protein? Especially since I have to count the nougat as a serving of lard-ass.

I’m not feeling motivated. Why aren’t I motivated???

Starting weight: 150.4

After yesterday’s bingeout, I should be grateful it’s not higher… should be, but I’m not. I’m mad at myself for lapsing back into the 150s, even if it’s just by .4 lbs. I feel bloated and greasy and just plain gross this morning.

I was going to hit the treadmill this morning, but I have a 4 year old sleeping on the floor of my room. And everyone knows you NEVER disturb a sleeping 4 year old. I’d be safer poking a lion in the eye with a sharp stick or hand-feeding sharks. So instead I’m web-surfing… can’t that count for my daily cardio???

Today at work, I’m determined to clear all the storage boxes out of my office. We have a 20 foot trailer in the parking lot. A little over a month ago, we had to empty its contents so we could take it to Vegas for that trade show. Unfortunately, since it was raining, the only place to put it all was stacked ceiling high in my office. UGH!! We got back and it took about a week to get it emptied of all the dollhouses we brought back from the show. And then one of our employees borrowed it to store furniture in while his hardwood floors were being refinished. Before he could return it, we left for NYC. We returned and the trailer was back, but it was pouring rain - not optimum conditions for moving thin cardboard boxes. And so, I’ve been stuck with an office resembling the back warehouse of Staples for over a month now. Totally non-functional. In addition, the server is buried behind the wall of it. And I need to upgrade the whole system.

So, today I’m moving boxes. Lots of boxes. Heavy boxes. I don’t feel so bad about missing the treadmill this morning. Now the key is food. I need to be back on plan. So, here’s today’s menu:

Breakfast: oatmeal pancake muffin thing
Lunch: chicken fajita pita from Jack in the Box
Snack: Yoplait light fat-free yogurt
Dinner: oh crap, totally forgot that tonite is pizza and game night with the girls’ at my monthly Ladies Night Out. ERG - I’m limiting it to two slices pizza max. Not how I wanted to start the 6 weeks - but I’m bringing the Wii Dance, Dance Revolution game and dance mats. I can work off the pizza that way, I guess!

2:20 UPDATE

Breakfast ended up being Yoplait light fat-free yogurt (Boston Cream Pie - can I just say how much I love all their flavors!) and a string cheese. Lunch was a chicken fajita pita from Jack in the Box and a side salad with salsa. Dinner?? I emailed to cancel my attendance at the Ladies Nite Out tonite. Too much going on with the kids - and really , I’ve been gone nearly every night since well before I left for NYC. I need to be home. I felt bad bailing, but my kids have to come first and they just haven’t been lately. So, dinner will probably be a turkey wrap cause I have all the fixin’ at home already and they are delish and VERY filling!!

I moved ALL the boxes out of my office and back into the trailer from whence they came. YAY!! That not only cleared my office, but burned major calories too. My knee started acting up a bit, but I made it through without too much pain or damage. DAMN KNEE!! I can’t believe I’m looking forward to surgery, but I am dying to hear back from the doctors’ office. I need that MRI (waiting on insurance approval) and then we can get this ball finally rolling. I can’t run in anything right now. No 5Ks. No half-marathon training. This sucks! I have things I want to do and I can’t do them.

I made a list of weightloss goals and rewards:

145 lbs - manicure (just to get that ball rolling… and cause I totally need a manicure!)
140 lbs - pedicure (it’s almost sandal season!! YAY!!)
137 lbs - skydiving - ok, so this is just three-pounds from the previous one, but 137 is when I hit my “healthy” weight range. I’ll no longer be “overweight” - and that deserves its own celebration!
134 lbs - hair/salon visit
129 lbs - spa package - facial, massage, the works
124 lbs - bungee jumping (they ask your weight and often weigh you to make sure they get the number of bungees right. So, hello, I need that to be a LOW number before I’ll even think about doing it!)
119 lbs - trip to Universal Studios (I’ve been dying to go for YEARS. Haven’t been since I was a kid!)
115 lbs - GOAL WEIGHT - new wardrobe (’cause duh, I’m totally going to need it!)

I think I have that broken up into small enough chunks that each mini goal is attainable. Notice there are no dates attached. I think that sets me up for failure. It doesn’t matter if I reach a goal in a day, week, month or year. Reaching it is what matters. Plus, I have a tendency to make very unrealistic goals. These ARE realistic - in their own time. Yes, I’d love to hit 129 by my birthday. But it’s not the end of the world if I don’t. If I’m only down to 135 or 139 or even 142 - it’s still lower than I am right now. And much lower than I was last year. And I’m heading in the right direction. And that’s all that matters. Progress, not perfection.