Weight: 173.0
The last two days I have come home from work exhausted, yet still managed to put in 45 minutes on the elliptical before literally collapsing in bed. It’s just through sheer determination that I’ve worked out. I slept for 12 hours last night and 13 hours the night before. My moods been better but the extreme exhaustion is getting worse. I can’t function during the day, by 2pm I’m yawning and fighting putting my head down on my desk. The cons are outweighing the pros. It doesn’t matter if I’m feeling better if I’m asleep! Goodbye Prozac.
Yesterday’s biggest accomplishment: I didn’t eat a single Junior Mint! I had the kids put the remaining boxes (of which there are 15 still!!!) in the garage freezer. Since I never go out in the garage, that puts temptation out of easy access. I’ve decided that I’ll take a snack baggy’s worth to the movies whenever I go, but other than that little weekly treat, they are off limits!
I’ve lost 5.6 pounds since I’ve been back from the cruise!
Today’s food plan:
Breakfast: bowl of fruit
Morning snack: greek yogurt
Lunch: big salad
Afternoon snack: celery with peanut butter
Dinner: fish and steamed veggies
I’ll hit the elliptical as soon as I get home from work. I’m going to aim for a walk at lunch too, a little sunshine therapy.
Posted on April 26th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 1 Comment »
Weight: 173.6
Food has been good, however I’ve over done it a bit on the Junior Mints. I really need to lay off ‘em for a bit. It doesn’t help that my kids all got together and gave me 20 jumbo boxes of them for my birthday!! They are like twice the size of the movie theater boxes - so HUGE! I now have an endless supply IN MY HOUSE! This is not good for me! Eeeek!!
I didn’t work out Thursday or Friday. I just could NOT get up the energy in the morning. I didn’t work out this morning either, but I MADE myself do 45 on the elliptical when I got home from work tonite. And you know what, I feel REALLY good now. I worked up a sweat, made my muscles sore, and my brain is happy! Hello endorphins! I’ve missed you!!
Now I’m set to hit the hay early. I will get up and workout before work tomorrow. I need the extra boost in the morning. It really sets my day up right!
Posted on April 24th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | No Comments »
Weight: 174.2
I let TOM get the best of me this morning and slept in instead of working out. So I’m going to make a point of staying away from my desk as much as possible today and doing more manual labor, get my workout in that way.
I’m taking the kids to see Disney’s “Oceans” tonite. We saw “Earth” last year and it was amazing. I expect the same or better with this one. I’ll give a mini review tomorrow.
Food was good yesterday. I think I ate a bit too much natural peanut butter and I ate three frozen Junior Mints. That’s right, three! Not three boxes or three servings but just three little candies. So, I am learning that I don’t have to eat everything I see just because it’s there or it tastes good!
So far today I’ve had a plain greek yogurt 0% fat, only 100 calories. I sweetened it with some stevia sweetener cause otherwise, YUCK! But with the sweetener, YUM! And it has 18 grams of protein!! That is amazing! A yoplait yogurt for the same calories only has 5 grams of protein. Greek yogurt is more expensive though. Doesn’t it always seem like that’s the case! At least this is a new brand, Chobani, so it was on sale. That helps!
I have some clementines here at work that a co-worker brought me the other day, so that will be my morning snack. And of course, I have my tea!! I saved a box of the gingerbread black tea from Christmas time and I’m enjoying a cup of it right now. Mmmmm!!!
I think I’m experiencing my first caffeine withdrawal headache this morning. I haven’t had a Diet Coke since I’ve been back from vacation. Which makes today Day 3. However, between TOM, kid stress and work stress, there’s a good chance this headache has nothing to do with caffeine whatsoever!
Well, guess I better get to work!
Posted on April 22nd, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 4 Comments »
Weight: 175
I woke up this morning feeling empty and light instead of full and heavy. I feel ready for action instead of dreading the day. My mindset is ready to really tackle this. I’ve been in gluttony mode for the past couple of months and even I was sick of it by the end. I spent the cruise enjoying but not over doing. I didn’t eat food just because it was there, because it tasted good or because I just wanted to. But I also ate what I wanted and stopped when I wasn’t hungry anymore. I was ready to get back on program. I am.
My focus is on daily exercise and eating healthy, small portions - several mini meals throughout the day. I’m counting calories, staying off gluten completely, and consuming mainly fruits, veggies and lean protein. I’ll be here blogging daily for accountability. And a record of how I’m doing. It helps so much!
Posted on April 21st, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 3 Comments »
Well girls, I had a great birthday. Just got back from the cruise to Cabo. Had a fabulous time! How fabulous?
Weight: 178.4
Yeah, WOW! I haven’t seen a number that high since 2007! OUCH!!!!
However, FORTY is here and I’m embracing it.
Forty is going to be AWESOME!
(My new med seems to be working!!)
I got up, did my 45 on the elliptical this morning without too much “making” myself and more “wanting” to do it for myself. So attitude adjustment is in check! 
It’s a little after 5pm now. I’ve had a couple of boiled eggs for breakfast (just the whites) and a banana. A fat-free yogurt for snack. A salad with tuna for a late lunch and a jello pudding decadent mousse thingy (only 60 calories!) for an afternoon snack. I’ve been drinking water and tea all day. Goodbye Diet Coke, at least for now. I am too addicted to you. YOU CAN NOT CONTROL ME!!!
I have a mountain of laundry waiting to be sorted when I get home. The little kids have outgrown a lot of clothes and it’s time to get them out of their closets and drawers. Finally.
I’m baaaaaaaaack!
Posted on April 20th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: Uncategorized, daily blathering | 1 Comment »
Weight: ignorance is bliss, also after yesterday I probably exceed my scale’s maximum weight capacity. Boo! 
Let’s just say by yesterday afternoon things took a major downward turn. Involved were malted milk balls aka Whoppers, cheap-ass Cheez-It’s imitation crackers from the $ store (whole box), a small plate of french fries and a pint of a Lucky’s brand wannabe Ben ‘n Jerry’s type ice cream. Stellar.
Did I workout when I got home last night? Yeah, in that I worked out how to justify eating all that crap. I don’t think that burns as many calories as I hoped. Oh, and I wrestled with my conscious. There, that’s gotta count for something.
How do I feel this morning? Did someone get the number of that truck that ran over me? The old adage of you are what you eat certainly applies: I ate a bunch of crap and that exactly how I feel, like a big ole pile of crap.
Saddest part: I am sorely tempted to go grab a big bowl of greasy fat and cholesterol from Jack in the Box for breakfast. Yep, do I learn? No. Do I know how to wallow or what?! UGH.
OK. Here it goes. I’m having a mocha at home, made with sugar free creamer and chocolate syrup so it has less than 40 calories. And an omelete made with egg beaters, a sprinkle of low fat cheese and salsa. Lots of protein, minimal fat, low in calories. I am going to go for a walk at work today and I’ll dress for work accordingly (tennies instead of my cute wedgie sandals). Function over fashion. Mind over matter.
I’m bringing that grilled chicken breast to work today for lunch. I need to pick up some veggies to go with it. I still have bananas, fat free yogurts and even a few jello sugar free temptations mousses that have 60 calories each.
I won’t give up.
I meet with my therapist tomorrow. But I don’t see my doctor for a couple weeks still. This sucks.
Posted on March 18th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »
Weight: 166.4
I did my 45 on the elliptical last night when I got home from work. I mean, walked in the house, straight to the bathroom to change into workout clothes and on the elliptical before I could think about it and talk myself out of it. I did my crunches and arm work via the Shake Weight afterwards. And then plopped into bed. I did make it through Biggest Loser last night. Guess there’s a positive to the time change - I can stay up a little later. BIG DOWNSIDE - I can NOT get up in the morning! Period. I am draggin’ ASS in the morning just to get the kids to school on time and me to work LATE! It’s like 10 or 11 before I’m finally feeling awake enough to function. This is NOT working. UGH.
And I can tell the antidepressents are out of my system because while I’m not so dog-tired all day long, I feel BLAH. Not necessarily sad, just very apathetic. (Oh the irony!) So now I sit at work and just can’t motivate myself to do much of anything. Certainly nothing beyond what absolutely has to be done. And even then… I’m sending out orders days late because I just don’t care. That sucks. THIS SUCKS! I need a nap.
I am also sitting here trying to talk myself OUT of going over to the store and buying a box of Cheez-its. For numerous reasons, eating them would be a really bad idea. Like that I’m allergic to gluten and it’s the equivalent of poisoning myself. Awesome, I know. And yet there’s the big fat I JUST DON’T CARE.
So far I’ve had a banana, Yoplait fat free yogurt (new flavor blueberry pie - yum!) and a gluten free granola bar. Approx 300 calories total. Which is right where I should be… and yet, I just want to stuff my face. Like a subconscious munching. And I don’t want to go rooting through our storage trailer for an order that I needed to ship yesterday… guess I know what I need to do. Damn it. I hate being all responsible and shit.
Posted on March 17th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 4 Comments »
Weight: 166.6
Anyone notice I hit that 166.6 a lot? Weird. I think my scale is possessed!
I got home last night and worked out on the elliptical for 45 then did some crunches and arm work. I bought one of those Shake Weights because that lady that reviews infomercial products on Good Morning America gave it a B+ and my arms are my nemesis! Guess what? Total burn in those muscles! One thing though - it is not battery operated. YOU are the one making it “shake”. It totally does NOT look like that in the infomercial and there was no mention made of it in the review, so I was totally surprised. Just an FYI if you pick one up - I got mine for $20 at Target.
I slept better last night, which is a good thing. I had to get mean and kick my two little ones out of my bed. I have a double and sharing it with a 8 and 5 year old just ain’t workin’. So they made themselves a little bed on my floor and slept there. I’m hoping to eventually move them into their room and their own beds! I had them in there last year and then Sean had a bad asthma attack and I was giving him treatments every couple of hours through the night for what seemed like forever, so it was easier to have him in my bed where I could hear him breathing… and well, you know how it goes!! Now I have to start all over again. This Mom thing is tough!
Unfortunately, I still didn’t get up to exercise this morning. I’m working on it. Just means that I do my workout when I get home, which I’m not thrilled with but at least it’s getting done. Right now, that’s what matters!
Posted on March 16th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering, stats | 2 Comments »
Weight: 168.6
Ah, I feel like I should totally be committed!!
I didn’t exercise this morning. I had the WORST night’s sleep. I tossed and turned, could NOT get comfortable. Had totally bizarre dreams when I did nod off. Woke up EXHAUSTED. Total suckfest!!
However, I am sipped hot Irish breakfast tea this morning. I did not use this as an excuse to hit Jack in the Box for that Denver Breakfast Bowl of fat and cholesterol (though it is tasty tasty!) In a bit I will have a banana and a Yoplait fat free yogurt. New flavor Red Velvet Cake - hellooooo!!! Brilliant!!! Love the new flavors! There’s also a blueberry pie (or is it blackberry pie? or maybe cobbler… memory is still shot!) and it’s delish too!
At lunch time I’m taking a walk around the shopping area, takes about 20 minutes. It’s more for the UV rays therapy than a true exercise plan, but it gets me out in the sunshine and fresh air AND gets me moving. It’s mood therapy. And I could use it. My gym membership finally expired! No more monthly fees for something I feel more guilty about not using than actually USING! YAY!!
I’m not bone tired exhausted all the time, so I’ll do my ellipticalling when I get home tonite before I collapse into bed.
Here’s to day 1 of the rest of my 39’s! I’m going to make them really COUNT!
Posted on March 15th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: Uncategorized | 6 Comments »
Tomorrow I am tackling head on. The next four weeks are mine. I’m feeling more energy as the last of the Zoloft is leaving my system. Four weeks from yesterday is my 40th birthday party (four weeks from today is my actual b-day.) I’m determined to be at the best I can possibly be by then. I’m going to be selfish and self-centered and give myself everything I’ve got. It’s for 28 days. Everyone will survive. I owe this to myself and by extension, them.
Eat healthy, exercise, lots of water, cut waaaay back on the Diet Coke. Lots of sleep. Positive thoughts. I can do this!
Posted on March 14th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 1 Comment »
