Weight: 169.8
I actually screamed “YESSSS!!!” when I stood on my scale this morning and saw that number! My kids are used to their crazy mother, so this didn’t phase anyone. I did a fist pump in the air too. Oh yeah!
I have decided to go 100% raw (food) starting Monday for the next 30 days. I’m like 75% now, so it’s not a huge transition and I shouldn’t have a lot of detox problems.
I’m currently eating a big bowl of strawberries and mango. I didn’t think I liked mangoes but they are DELISH!!! OMG and they are totally in season and on sale right now! I’m going to be eating a couple of those a day from now on.
I have one Yoplait Light yogurt left, so I’ll be having that in a while as a snack. A big salad for lunch. Clementines for an afternoon snack. Maybe some celery and hummus… technically hummus is not a raw food… but 2 tbsp of it I think is OK. These are my rules, I can do whatever I want! 
I did my 45 on the elliptical this morning. I’ll go for a walk just before lunch. And I hope to be able to do another 45 tonite. I’m taking my 8 year old out to buy Skye’s birthday present and pick up a Mother’s day present for my mom. If we aren’t home too late, I can get a workout in. But I draw the line at exercising past 8pm cause it messes up my sleep BIG TIME. And I seriously do not need that! I need my 8 hours, minimum!!
Happy Mother’s Day, Chickies!!
Posted on May 8th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 1 Comment »
Weight: 170.4
I can TASTE the 160s! Almost there!!
Doesn’t hurt that I did a triple workout yesterday: 45 minutes on the elliptical in the morning and then 90 minutes last night. But that was because I was taking my older boys to the midnite showing of Iron Man 2 (it was totally AWESOME, btw!!) and I knew there was NO WAY I was going to be able to get up in the morning and workout. So I did this morning’s workout last night. I’m still going for my lunchtime walk. I hope to workout tonite, but I promised my 8 year old that he and I would do something and so timing wise it just might not work out.
Oh, also, I just had WATER at the movie! Boo to the YAH!
My kids are slowly (quickly) eating all my boxes of Junior Mints in the freezer. This is probably a good thing.
I am hoping they don’t get me candy for Mother’s day!
I am hoping they REMEMBER Mother’s day!
I had strawberries for breakfast followed by a container of Yoplait Light white chocolate strawberry yogurt about an hour later. And in a bit I’m going to have some celery dipped in roasted red pepper hummus. This is my new favorite thing IN THE WHOLE WORLD! It’s so delish that I actually crave it. I KNOW!
Big salad for lunch with spring mix, grape tomatoes, diced red onions, corn cut off the cob and half an avocado. Do I know how to make a salad, or what?!
I have ONE Breyer’s Smooth and Dreamy triple chocolate chip ice cream bar in the freezer here at work. I’ll be polishing that off this afternoon! Then, no more!
I have decided to go completely raw starting Monday for the next 30 days. I have at least one birthday and a trip to the zoo scheduled in there. The monkeys won’t mind if I bring my own bananas, will they?
Happy Friday, y’all!!
Posted on May 7th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 4 Comments »
Weight: 171.2
Finally - I broke through that 172 barrier! I swear, I was beginning to think my scale was broken!
I got up and worked out this morning. It was HARD to get out of bed, I wanted to SLEEP! But once I was up and moving, it was easier. And I feel SO GOOD now. That does make it easier. I’m going for a walk at lunch and doing another session on the elliptical when I get home. I am determined to see the 160s by this weekend! Even if it’s 169.8, I’ll take it! Man, I never thought I’d be HAPPY to see the 160s!
Food was great yesterday. I picked up a bag of clementines this morning along with a mango. I had a mango once many years ago and didn’t care for it. But I used to hate all things citrus. And bananas. And I LOVE them now. So I’m going to give it another try.
Link to the Raw Foodism Blog that I talked about yesterday. And link to a blog by a woman who lost 160 lbs on the raw food diet (not a diet persay because that is how she still eats and plans to continue eating for the rest of her life) Raw Reform. Her story is really amazing and inspirational.
I personally eat a lot of raw food anyway. I love fruit and salads and I’ve been curious to try a green smoothie that I constantly hear good things about (even Dr. Oz says it’s like the best thing ever!) Basically it’s a smoothie with spinach or other greens and fruit. Our blender has a broken part and so has been non functional since sometime last year. This finally gave me the motivation I’ve needed to get the darn replacement part ordered (it’s an ice-crushing smoothie blender). Yay me!
Posted on May 6th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 1 Comment »
Weight: 172.4
So, yesterday went really really great. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical both morning and evening AND went for a 30 minute walk at lunchtime. My food was spot on… until 7:35pm. And then I became possessed.
The biggest problem is… I am bulimic. And just like an alcoholic, once a bulimic always a bulimic. I can eventually be “recovered” but it will still always be there. I can have “dry” periods but then something can set me off and next thing I know I’m stone cold drunk on the bathroom floor. Or in my case, surrounded by wrappers and empty tubs of Ben ‘n Jerrys.
I’m not even sure what set it off. I was working out on the elliptical, watching an episode of Charmed and nex thing I know I’m fantasizing about firey-hot cheetos and New York Super Chunk Fudge. And then I couldn’t get off the elliptical and into the car fast enough. It’s sort of a black out period where I ran through the grocery store grabbing Twinkies, Cheetos, Ben ‘n Jerrys and those vanilla layered waffery cookies with the icing in them, like come with old fashioned sundaes. I don’t even know what those are about! I raced back home, locked myself in my room and proceeded to inhale everything while, get this, watching The Biggest Loser. The make over episode, of all things! What is wrong with me? Don’t answer that!! Of course, the biggest biggest BIGGEST irony of the whole thing is that during the LAST CHANCE WORKOUT, I was in the bathroom “getting rid” of everything. Biggest Loser - yep, that would be ME! A Big, Fat Loser.
I woke up this morning with a raging headache, sore stomach muscles, a puffy face, and the smell of shame and defeat. I was haunted by weird, depressing and thoroughly disheartening dreams. I couldn’t get out of bed. I skipped my workout, didn’t shower and dragged myself to work.
However…
I had blackberries and a fat-free yogurt for breakfast.
I will go for a walk at lunch.
I will eat a healthy lunch and good snacks as preplanned.
I will workout when I get home tonite.
I will do better.
I will not give up.
UPDATE 8:03 PM
I ate perfect today! I went for a 25 minute walk on my lunchtime and took my mom with me again. It feels so good to get out of the office, out in the sunshine and moving after sitting in an office at a desk all day. It makes the afternoon easier too. And I eat my lunch right afterwards. I’m definitely going to keep this one up!
Then I came home and did 45 minutes on the elliptical. I’m in bed for the night now. No nasty urges. And I won’t beat myself up about yesterday. It’s in the past. All I can do is better from here on out. Though I have been trying to figure out WHY last night happened. So I can try to avoid it or at least deal better with it next time.
I spent several hours today reading a blog by a guy who tried a low fat raw food diet for 30 days. He blog in great detail every day which must have been insanely time consuming but made it the most informative thing I think I’ve ever read! And I am intrigued. Seriously intrigued. Like I am now toying with the idea of doing it myself. Especially since my diet tends to lean that way anyway. I eat mostly fruit and salad. I’m not a fan of dairy but I’ve been eating yogurt every day because I don’t know what else to eat (and I love the taste. My problems with dairy are that I don’t think humans are really meant to consume the milk of another animal… I’ve done way too much nutritional reading over the years!! It’s scary what I have rolling around up there!) I’ve looked into raw foodism before, but had a hard time getting a good handle on what exactly you eat day in and day out. This blog I found showed exactly what he ate every meal of every day for a month! What he liked, what he didn’t, how it made him feel, how hungry he was, how it affected his sleep, workout, etc… I mean WOW! And he totally sold me on it! And the funny thing is, that’s not what he was trying to do. At the end of it, he was like I CAN NOT WAIT TO EAT COOKED FOOD AGAIN. And as soon as he did, he got really sick and felt awful and about two months after he stopped the raw foodism, he converted to it permanently! Which surprised him most of all!
Anyway, time for bed. I’m determined to get a good night’s sleep, get up early and do a morning workout!
Posted on May 5th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 1 Comment »
Weight: 172.2
Mkay. This is sucking!! I am working out, eating right and consciously being like SUPER HEALTHY. And I’m still in the freaking 170s!! Like my weight is all “Fuck off, we’re not going anywhere BITCH!” ARGH!!!!
However, I’m stickin’ with it. And guzzling water. I’d been drinking tons of Diet Coke (again!) and so that’s going. I’m even going to skip the tea for a while and just stick with water. Tons and tons of water.
Take THAT!
I did my 45 on the elliptical THIS MORNING! Oh yeah! And I’m going for a walk at lunch time (hello sun! I’ve missed you SO!) and then working out when I get home tonite!
IT IS ON!!!
Posted on May 4th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 1 Comment »
Weight: 172.4
Hey, not so bad considering!!! I stepped on the scale last night before bed and it said 169.6!!! I guess all the running all over Great America for 8 hours paid off but the days food hadn’t caught up with me yet!
Saturday night’s report - I just had a Diet Coke at In n Out… but I stole a few of my son’s fries. Stolen fries have no calories, that’s just physics!
Yesterday…. ah…. yeah….
I started the day with a Larabar, which are totally healthy and organic, gluten free, etc… And I brought several with me in my purse for later. Good idea, anyway! I had another one in line for a ride while my son ate a churro. I LOVE churros, so I tore a 3 inch piece off of us. Wow - that is some kind of restraint, let me tell you!! Lunch I got sushi (yes, it’s California and so even at the amusement park, there’s sushi! LOL!!) a summer roll (no rice) and a diet coke. Tad got chicken strips and fries. I ended up stealing several fries and part of a chicken strip (hey, I’m not made of steal!) Unfortunately, there’s probably a reason why you shouldn’t get sushi at an amusement park. Yeah, it stayed down for about an hour! At least I made it to a bathroom and didn’t throw up on a ride! Gross, I know! Felt better afterwards though. Not a stellar moment in my life.
Later we each had a soft serve ice cream cone. Mmmmm…. helped settle my stomach. Totally medicinal! Then I shared a thing of Mentos with my son cause my stomach was still a little squirrelly and my breath probably wasn’t much better!! Then he wanted Dippin’ Dots and since you can pretty much only get those at amusement parks and I hadn’t had them in YEARS, we split a medium one. Oh, the grand finale was a funnel cake! I’m sure there’s like a one funnel cake minimum in fine print on the ticket. So we split one with just powdered sugar and didn’t even finish it. We were STUFFED!!
The park closed at 7 and we went to a movie (Kick-Ass, totally hilarious, very graphic. It’s a black tongue in cheek comedy with lots of violence. We loved it!) I had a diet coke and he had gummy stars (love how he was stuffed from the funnel cake like 20 minutes before he got the candy at the movies!)
So, it sounds like I ate a lot. But it was either shared (or stolen!) except for the sushi (which later got tossed, cookie-style) and soft-serve ice cream cone. For a day at the amusement park, I call it a success!
Oh, and I did a full HOUR on the elliptical that morning and then we walked MILES all over that park! My legs and feet were so sore this morning that I had trouble getting out of bed! So I did my working out for SURE!
Starting today was I going to be working out twice a day… but uh… I was too sore and tired to work out this morning! (We didn’t get home last night until after 11! I’m normally asleep by 8:30!) So I am going to work out when I get home tonite, get to sleep early and be all ready for tomorrow!
And I’m swearing off those slimfast/weight watchers/diet bars. I start out with one a day for a snack. Then it’s two… then it’s half a box! I just finished off the last one and I’m not buying anymore. Snacks need to be fruit or veggies, not chemical packed carbs! I did have a bowl of pineapple for breakfast and a big grilled chicken salad for lunch. So I’m all good!
I WILL SEE THE 160s THIS WEEK, DAMMIT!!!
Posted on May 3rd, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 3 Comments »
Weight: 172.0
I just have a minute.
Furry Vengeance was HILARIOUS!!! Definitely a kids’ movie adults can appreciate! Many many laughs NOT in the trailer, some of the funniest scenes come out of nowhere! And the dancing montage during the closing credits will have you crying, they’re so funny!!!
I would like to make a big huge point right now that I did not eat a single Junior Mint during the entire movie!
Y’all know how epic that is for me!
Tonite will involve taking my still 13 for one more day son and some of his friends bowling tonite. I will be faced with pizza, bowling alley type snacks (aka EVIL) and then a run through In n Out Burger. Pray for me!!!
Posted on May 1st, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »
Weight: 172.2
My honeybun’s new movie opens today. Everyone go see it!!
The cupcakes are nearly gone and should be but a distant buttercream memory by the time I get home from work today. Though I do feel like I’ve maybe crossed the line into child abuse by letting them eat those things!
As for me, I worked out this morning!! YAY!! Getting up was HARD, let me tell you. But I was determined and I did it! And I feel really good now! I think I can get this train full back on track, just in time too! If I had officially crossed into the land of 180s, I think I may of given up all hope! That would have meant a near 40 pound regain. UGH! It is SO HARD to lose 40 pounds and to have to RELOSE them, I just don’t know that I would have it in me. I may have just surrendered and been all “Bring on Ben AND Jerry!”
Naw, probably not. I’m not the completely give up all hope type. I may go down from time to time, but I’m never fully out. Just not my style.
And so I’M TOTALLY BACK ON IT!
I will start running again when my weight crosses back over the 150 mark. I have thin bones, they’re strong but not titanium. As I proved earlier this year. No More Stress Fractures! And I firmly believe my weight had a lot to do with that injury. I can run for miles and miles, but not at over 150 pounds, not without injuring myself. I have endurance, that’s never really been my problem. It’s physical limitations and respecting them that I have issues with. I can mentally push myself to the physical breaking point. Literally. Not a really spectacular thing to be able to do. So I’m going to continue to condition and train to be stron when I do start running again. My elliptical is key. Starting Monday, I’m adding in the floor work: squats, lunges, crunches and some arm stuff. Strong quads and a strong core and essential. Sculpted arms will just be awesome. And I could use some awesomeness!
Don’t forget to go see Furry Vengeance tonite!
Posted on April 30th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »
Weight: 173.6
I’m still recovering from the ginormous Costco cupcake I ate the other night - one has 760 calories! I also ate too much garlic bread… and there may or may not have been some popcorn chicken from KFC thrown into the mix. Yeah, not such a stellar day! However, yesterday I was right back on it. Fruit, salad, water, tea and exercise. I will no longer let a cupcake become a major setback! And I need to remember that the few minutes of eating pleasure will cost me DAYS on the elliptical! If I had known that cupcake had THAT many calories, I probably wouldn’t have eaten it… or at least I would have savored it more! Instead I just shoved it in.
I’m several days off Prozac. I’m not sleeping as long at night and I’m not as dog-tired exhausted during the day. But I’m still having trouble getting moving in the morning. I miss being a morning person. My goal is to get back to that ME time in the morning that I so desperately need and crave. It helps set me for the day. Probably why I’ve been SO off. I’ll get back to it. Soon, I hope!
Posted on April 29th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 4 Comments »
Weight: 172.6
I feel like I am literally prying each pound off my body. Its hard, slow work. And something I’m having to work at every day. But I am determined. I’m feeling better already and it’s tough to look in the mirror and still see the same me looking back! I FEEL different, shouldn’t I LOOK different?!
I didn’t take Prozac yesterday. And I slept better last night, less fitfully. Plus, when I woke up this morning, I felt rested instead of dog-tired. Now that the sun is back, I’m exercising regularly and eating healthfully, I am hopeful my mood will stay up. I’ve become very sensitive and aware of myself, so I’ll be able to tell in the next few days how I’m doing. I’m going to continue seeing my therapist and I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a couple of weeks for a more formal evaluation. Depression leads to weight gain which leads to depression… it’s a vicious cycle and I need to break it once and for all.
Time to workout… before work today! It’s supposed to rain, so I don’t think I’ll get a walk in at lunch time. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll go walk in the rain if it’s not pouring. I think I just need to get out everyday.
Posted on April 27th, 2010 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering | 4 Comments »
