Marathon Mom

Weight: 158.6

Feeling: blech. I’m off work today. I’m now taking off Tuesdays. And so I have like a million things to do. And yet, I woke up with a raging headache (though it’s tapering off a bit now.) But as the headache has lessened, my stomach has started roiling. I can HEAR it, and it does not sound happy! My feet are freezing cold. I don’t want to move out of bed, I want to stay curled up warm and quiet. The kids are at school. I have the house to myself (pretty much, Tad’s home with pink eye and Cali’s leaving in a few minutes to hang out with friends.)

I’m eating some clementines and trying to get my equilibrium set. I feel off-balance. It’s the headache. It’s a migraine waiting to happen and it’s pissing me off. NO MIGRAINE TODAY! This always seems to happen. I FINALLY get some quiet time and home and I end up spending it sick and in bed.

NOOOO I have too much to do today. Too much I WANT to do today. Like try some new recipes and get some sewing done. Maybe if I promise myself that I don’t have to clean, my headache will abait. My body may just be throwing a tempertantrum. Let’s try it: Ok body, No cleaning. PROMISE! Only cooking and sewing and crafts - all fun stuff (yes, I LOVE to cook! I could easily live in the kitchen.)

Let’s see if that works.

UPDATE 8:38 PM

Tried to eat my way through the headache. Didn’t work. Went to a movie. Didn’t work. Took Advil. Didn’t work. Drank lots of caffeine. Didn’t work. Headache wins KO. I feel like crap. I’m stuffed. All the meds upset my stomach so I ate SO MUCH MORE than I wanted. Stomach ache is gone now, but I’m FULL. I hate that.

ARGH. I hate today.

Diet Buddy Daily - no problem snacking during Biggest Loser. I ate so much beforehand, I feel like puking! One way to kick that snacking habit! PS: totally not recommended!

Weight: 159.6 (ugh… 3 pounds in three days. Yesterday involved cake, frosting and ice cream… need I say more?)

OK, weekend is gone. Over. Done. Past. So instead of stressing about it. Boom, just get back up on that horse, baby! Awesome…. also, the horse sucks.

I did NOT want to get up and exercise this morning. OMG I DID NOT WANT TO DO IT!!! See, a couple days of slothful behavior and I’m totally OUT of it! But…

I MADE MYSELF DO IT ANYWAY. Yep, 43 minutes on the elliptical. I DID IT.

And then, I did NOT stop for a pumpkin scone or donuts or a McFatty breakfast sandwich. I knew I had a bag of apples at my desk, so I came straight in to work and ate three of ‘em! Ok, so I’m washing them down with a Coke Zero. Hey, I’m not freakin’ Mother Teresa here! Geez!!

I am MAKING myself get back on plan, whether I want to or not!!

And yes, Diet Buddy Daily - I accept your no snacking during the Biggest Loser challenge!

Weight: 156.4 (apparently, I’ve already stalled. Or it could be the four mini snickers I had at the movies.)

Yikey-crikey! WTH is UP with the site! After I posted yesterday, I couldn’t get back in at all. Or this morning until just now. And who knows how long THIS will last. I have a running blog Marathon-Mommy, but it’s more about the marathon training and less about the whole weight thing. I think I have too many blogs! I have four (including this one) that I update regularly (or at least semi-regularly) and then I write movie reviews for a website too. Plus the whole kids and full-time job. And trying to get stuff together to get my Etsy shop up and running… I think I need a nap!

Speaking of, I need to get the review of 2012 written and submitted. I’ll just say it was totally AWESOME! But then, I do love me a good disaster end of the world flick, especially if it’s starring John Cusack. Almost as good as Brendan Fraser (the brand new trailer for his upcoming movie Extraordinary Measures co-starring Harrison Ford and Keri Russell is up. It looks amazing. Based on a true story and due in theaters January 22, 2010.)

Yesterday’s calories: 1528

Yesterday’s exercise: none, rest day which I have come to accept as an important part of the workout/exercise/training program. I was active at work, up and down stairs a lot. So there’s that.

Today - don’t know if I’ll be able to get back in. I’ll update if I can. Otherwise, I’m aiming for 1200 since my calories have been in the 1500 range the last few days.

Exercise - already did my 43 minutes on the elliptical this morning. Gosh, I feel good when I do that first thing!

I’m working a half day and then it’s grocery shopping for the week, some meal planning and prep, and sewing. Hopefully I’ll have the Etsy shop open by the end of the week. Thanksgiving is my make or break. If I don’t have it open by then, there’s almost no point. Well, that’s not entirely true. But I need to make that deadline.

Is anyone else having problems with 3FC the last two days? I couldn’t leave anyone comments yesterday, it wouldn’t let me. In fact, I had a hard time accessing the site at all. And today it won’t let it post a picture. Bummer!

Weight:

Today is my rest day. I’m tired and headachy and don’t know why. I was sound asleep by 9:15 last night. It’s like I can’t seem to get enough sleep anymore. I’m so tired all the time. And I yawn all day long. I don’t get it. I’ll be active at work today, up and down stairs a lot. So even though its a rest from deliberate exercise, I’ll still be moving a lot.

Speaking of, I guess I better get going. It’s shower-time.

Weight: 156.4

50 days left of 2009. Hard to believe it’s almost over. I feel like the year just started. 2010 - that just blows my mind! I told my mom the other day, we are living in THE FUTURE. It’s just crazy. That futuristic movie 2001 - that was almost nine years ago. And what really gets me is in the Back to the Future movies, Michael J. Fox travels 30 years in the future… to 2015. That’s just 5 years from now! How did time go by so fast? What the heck happened?!

I’m determined not to let any more time fly by. Too many years I spent with my head down, eyes closed, just trying to get through the day. What a waste! I want my days back! I didn’t value time when I was younger. And now I do. Oh, I still have days where I just grit my teeth and bear it (like yesterday) but I still try to do something of enjoyment in it (like going to see “Men Who Stare At Goats”. It was funny but just OK. George Clooney, I don’t get him. He’s a mediocre actor at best and I don’t think he’s good looking at all. Same with Ewan McGregor, though maybe mildly better looking. Mildly. Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges were HILARIOUS, though. Totally made the movie. It’s a Netflixer, for sure.)

Yesterday’s food:

2 Fuji apples - 160
1 granny smith apple - 50
1 Eating Right philly cheesesteak stuffed sandwich - 250
1 Eating Right thin crust pepperoni pizza - 360
1 movie theater box Junior Mints - 510
3 oz plain baked chicken breast - 110

Total calories - 1440

Yesterday’s exercise:

43 minutes elliptical - 487 calories burned

Today’s food:

Today’s exercise:

41 minutes elliptical - 462 calories burned

Weight: 158.6

Today is my one year anniversary at 3FC. I looked at my first post from a year ago. Weight: 157.4 — Awesome. Over the course of one year I’ve managed to gain 1.2 pounds. Maybe I should market this fabulous weight loss program! *snark snark*

My lowest weight was 144.4 and my highest was an unrecorded 170.2. Yeah, I just couldn’t stomach putting that on here, that I’d fallen so far off the wagon! And now, I’m basically right back to square one.

So, the questions is: do I feel like a failure?

And the surprising response is: no, I do not. Because I’ve managed to keep the  52 lbs off that I’d lost over the previous year. And that is success! So I’m not at goal weight yet, so what! I haven’t given up. And THAT is the measurement of success. My favorite quote (I know it as attributed to Jon Bon Jovi, he said it in a commencement speech a few years ago, but he may have been quoting someone else) “Success is falling down 9 times and getting up 10.”

And here I am, a year later, getting back up again, brushing myself off, standing strong and saying “BRING IT ON!”

I’ve created a new challenge page for myself, to keep me focused through the end of the year. It’s not super hard-core. Just like medium core. Stuff I SHOULD be doing, that I need to make a habit. If I do these things, the weight has to come off. It just does - that’s the law of physics (or at least Weight Watchers!)

There are 52 days left of 2009 (including today.) I’m going to make every minute of every hour of each day count!

UPDATE 8:07 PM

Today’s menu:

4 granny smith apples - 200 calories
1 fuji apple - 80
1 Eating Right Turkey, Broccoli & Cheese Stuffed Sandwich - 230
1 Eating Right (Lucerne/Safeway) Thincrust Bbq Chicken Pizza - 340
1 whole acorn squash - 172
6 cups airpopped popcorn, plain - 186

Total calories - 1208

Today’s Exercise:

43 minutes elliptical - 491 calories burned

Weight: 158.6

So I finally got whatever it was out of my eye yesterday, but it continued to be irritated for the rest of the day. Would spontaneously tear up. And I woke up this morning with it all crusty (sorry for the TMI) but thankfully whatever it was, was finally completely gone. No pain, no faint scratchy scratchy and the tearing has stopped. However, it is a lovely swollen red googly thing. I am a beauty and wonder to behold! Nothing some eyeliner and mascara can’t fix! Or mask sort of. I’m in the office for a half day and then home. I shouldn’t frighten too many children.

I took the kids to see Disney’s A Christmas Carol (in digital 3D!!) last night. It was awesome (but scary for younger kids, I was surprised at how intense parts of it were! I wrote a review for the Imperfect Women website - that should be up in the next day or so.) I did NOT buy candy, popcorn or a soda. I brought my water bottle. I had my daughter make up little baggies with their halloween candy in it for the kids and then I bought them each a Slurpee (cause they were whining and sulking about no popcorn and I wanted to enjoy the movie! Plus, I admit to feeling guilty for sneaking in food so I feel obligated to buy SOMETHING at the concession stand. Yes, movie snacks are horribly over-priced, but two wrongs don’t make a right. And I worry about teaching my kids that it’s ok to break rules if you feel they’re wrong… moral implications and ambiguity blah blah blah…) ANYWAY - so I had a couple or three pieces of their Halloween candy. And my water. I am a saint!

Today will be a bit harder cause I’ll be home and baking for part of it. In the KITCHEN. Yeah, that’s a hard one for me. It’s one thing not to snack cause I have no access to snacks. It’s another thing to be surrounded by food and handling it! I am not made of stone! Yikes!!

I’m still not feeling one hundred percent. I have just the remnants of that cold still lingering about. I’m a little snuggly and I cough occasionally, but when I do it’s DEEP. Like from my toes. And it’s what’s called “productive” or “wet” which means ICK! So as long as that’s going on, any real exercise like running is just out. So I’m trying real hard to focus on the healthy eating. Which is hard considering TOM IS IN THE HOUSE and being super demanding this go around. I really just want to curl up in bed with chocolate and a bunch of Brendan Fraser movies! Especially George of the Jungle - mmmm…. loincloth Brendan!

You know, I AM still sick. I shouldn’t be handling the kids’ food. Yeah, it’s really in there best interest that I NOT cook. I’m just thinking of the children (the CHILDREN!) Because I, am all about the children.

Weight: 159.4

After like this “perfect” day of eating, yesterday. I should be upset with the gain, right. Except that I discovered this morning that TOM was standing on the scale with me. The bastard! So, all the candy binges of the last week are not my fault - IT’S ALL TOM’S FAULT!! (Hmm… this is sounding vaguely familiar.)

So, I’m good with it. And even though today actually managed to get off to a WORSE start than yesterday (if that was even possible without loss of life or limb) I did NOT use it as an excuse to grab a crap-n-go breakfast from Jack in the Box. Or even a gingerbread latte and pumpkin scone from Buck in the Star (give it a minute…. there ya go!) BTW - if you are feeling tempted to “indulge” take a minute and go to the company’s website. Look at the nutrition info. A venti non-fat gingerbread latte with no-whip: 330 calories (not HORRIBLE, but definitely not great.) A pumpkin scone: 450 calories. And that, my friends, is nearly my DAILY allowance! In something that I wouldn’t even consider breakfast, since totally NOT FILLING at all!!! Yeah, talked me right out of it there! MY WORD how can people eat that (ok, so I can totally eat it, but only in ignorance. Now that I know, I don’t think I could stomach it - yes, you’re welcome for that pun of the day.)

So I had tea (zero calories) and a Lean Cuisine chicken fettucini something or other that had like 300 calories. And was remarkably filling.

I have had something in my eye like ALL MORNING. It has felt like someone was taking a straight pin and scraping it up and down my eye every time I blinked. I blink a lot. Especially when it feels like I have a straight pin in my eye. I finally had to kick vanity in the nuts and just go flush my eye out with water. Then I spent another 20 minutes getting all the make up off my other eye. I now look like my best friend died or I have an eye infection. Good news - whatever the hell it was is finally gone. Bad news - it’s noon and I have to stay red and swollen eyed with no make up for the rest of the work day. Maybe people will think I’m bereft or contagious and stay the hell away - oh, well than it’s win-win!

More later. Need to get back to pretending to work… *wondering if I can break my Bejeweled Blitz high score*

Weight: A miraculous 159.0 considering the mass quantities I consumed yesterday

This next part is not for the faint of heart.

You’ve been warned.

Also, you probably don’t want to be eating.

Again, you’ve been warned. Note: double warning.

Ok, you brave and trouble souls. This next part here is what happens when you don’t do laundry and need something clean to wear to work so your foul odor doesn’t kill your co-workers. This was a dire emergency. And also, a reminder of why I need to stop with the Halloween candy already. GEEZ!

This is titled: This muffin-top ain’t just for breakfast

You were warned! Those are my size 6 jeans I’m crammed into there. I had to wear them to work today because, hello, laundry. And yes, my room is a mess. So we aren’t really surprised that I had to cram my size nearly 10 behind into a pair of jeans I used to wear 15 pounds lighter because I didn’t have anything clean to wear.

And that was just the start to a really crappy day so far. I mean CRAPPY with a capital SH (no, not SHAPPY - however, that is funny. I needed to crack a bit of smile this morning… so close!) I am ANGRY. Like shaking with anger, angry. And over stupid things, like not having clean pants, not being able to fit in the clean pants I do have, the house being a mess in general, the kids not doing their chores, getting in late to work, etc… Just all that little stuff that adds up. It’s barely 10am and I already feel like my day is totally in the toilet! I forgot to pick up for Stevia packets for my tea. The water cooler is empty. Wah Wah Wah.

OK. PIty Party is OVER. I heading to the store for the Stevia packets. We have two employees and no customers. I can be gone for 5 minutes. I’ll refill the water cooler bottle myself (yes, we just refill it with filtered tap water. No Culligan man comes here.) I will take five minutes to just breathe with my eyes closed and focus some positive energy inward. I can turn today around. It does not need to suck. It’s ever so slightly raining today, which I LOVE because it fills the air with the wonderful scents of rain and trees and just that fall time freshness (Marin County is blessedly close to the ocean and fairly pollution free. Taking a deep breath of fresh air outside here is not counter-productive!)

Today is going to be a GOOD DAY - because, I said so, THAT’S why!

UPDATE 11:46 AM

Today is a sucky day because it just won’t budge. And it wins. So it sucks.

I hate (in no particular order):

My job

My kids (ok, not really the kids, but their attitude and laziness and messiness and slovenliness - all the ‘nesses!!)

My double digit credit rating

My single digit bank account balance

My twice divorced singlehood

Rob Pattinson’s hair (srsly, it’s called a BRUSH!)

Not being able to wear Junior size clothing because I have breasts

Bon Jovi tickets went on pre-sale today and I realized I can’t afford them

My life in general

UPDATE 8:19 PM

Ending the day on a positive note. Work was so busy that I didn’t get lunch until after 4pm. No snacking period. Guess that’s one way to stick to a diet!

It’s amazing how just a few minutes of Brendan Fraser on screen can perk up my day! GI Joe was waiting in my mailbox when I came home. I just finished sharing a bag of light microwave popcorn in bed with my littlest ones while watching a great action flick. Awesome end to a less than stellar day.

And not one piece of Halloween candy! I think the candy fairy has retired til next year!

Weight: 159.0

I need to get back to daily blogging here. If nothing else, it keeps me accountable. It was too easy last month to just sort of shut my eyes and think “eh, tomorrow. I’ll get back on it tomorrow” and then eat whatever and not work out. That’s how I put back on those 20+ lbs over the summer. That’s EXACTLY how I did it! Well, I’m not going to blindly eat my way through the holidays. I just can’t start the New Year with it all to do over again. Especially since I’ll be only 14 weeks from my marathon in Paris. I need to be in top form, not recovering from a three month binge!

Uh-oh… I just ate a vanilla tootsie roll midgie (the little ones.) Well, it was delivered by my 5 year old who has dubbed herself the Candy Fairy and runs around leaving candy under everyone’s pillow (can you tell the Tooth Fairy has been to our house recently?! Not for her, though, but for big brother Sean who has now lost more teeth than he has left! He looks like a human jack-o-lantern!) I couldn’t hurt the Candy Fairy’s feelings, now could I?! What kind of a mother would I be, I HAD to eat it for the emotional well-being of my child (laying it on a little thick there? Dammit!)

I’m still sick, a lingering chest and head cold. But I feel MUCH better today than I have the last few. I am optomistic that I’ll be able to get back to the exercising thing by the weekend *knocks on wood*!

Gotta get moving for work. I’ll finish this up later.

UPDATE 10:17 AM

Perhaps starting the day with a visit from the Candy Fairy isn’t so great afterall. Since I grabbed three fun size snickers and a regular tootsie midgie on my way out the door. However, I WAS planning on picking up a gingerbread latte at Starbucks on the way into work and I skipped it because of the little candy-fest. So calorie and sugar wise, I’m probably balanced out. Guilt - we don’t need no stinkin’ guilt!!

I have now had a Lean Cuisine Flatbread melt thing for breakfast (I believe you should consume the most calories in the morning and wean down as the day goes on, like I hear they do in Europe. Cause I’m all fancy-schmancy like that!) And I’m currently enjoying a hot cuppa Lady Grey tea. I feel more “on” now, like I’ve narrowly escaped a really bad accident. Day started off not great, but I’ve “fixed” it.

Today is going to be a busy one. But I’ve got a plan brewing in my noggin’. I’m going to beat this holiday season yet!! New Years Day will see me at my lowest weight so far, and within a stone’s throw of my goal weight. I CAN DO IT!!!

UPDATE 4:40 PM

Currently paving the pathway to Hell…

I have eaten three packages of 100 calorie Keebler fudge stripe cookies and 4 packages of 100 calorie Cheez Its (ya, lets not do the math on that, shall we??) Also had a Lean Cuisine Southwest Chicken Panini for lunch. I would declare food OVAH for today - but who are we fooling? I’m going to go home and eat more candy, with our without accompanying fairy.

NO, I’M NOT!!! I just thought of this!! I have a two hour meeting tonite after work (that I do NOT want to go to, but that’s just life, ain’t it!) and while I’m gone, I’m going to have the kids divide up all the candy into Candy Sean CAN Have and Candy Sean Can’t Have (because it has: gluten, dairy, and/or peanuts - which, yes, means most of it.) Then I’m going to have them put it into two separate and appropriately labeled tupperware containers in the cupboard and out of sight. I am definitely a see/do kind of person. And out of sight/out of mind totally works with me… mostly. It helps anyway.

They’ll probably have pastries and cookies at the meeting tonite. Dammit!