Weight: 154.4
I’m not eating enough. There. I said it. I know my calories are way too low. Like probably below 800. Ok, definitely below 800. This is a problem I have. When I finally start losing weight, I get addicted to seeing that number go down everyday. And I gradually eat less and less and less. I’ve had problems with anorexic behavior in the past. I’ve lived on 50 calories a day for months before. Yes, fifty. I know this is unhealthy behavior. But my brain has issues with the whole concept of “eating to lose”. I need to get past this.
Today will be one of those days I’ll struggle to eat much at all. I’ve got multiple appointments through out the day and I’ll be jumping back and forth to work inbetween. My regular routine is non-existent. I didn’t get up and work out this morning because last night was another rough one with Skye. If she keeps waking up again tonite with pain, I’ll have to take her to the doctor tomorrow too. I’m exhausted. Today feels like a barely functioning day. I need a nap!!
Posted on September 30th, 2009 by firefly
Filed under: Uncategorized
I want to find you and give you a hug. I’ve been in those shoes a few times before. I have made a conscious effort to stay out of them, but it wasn’t easy. I look at it this way: everytime I loose to fast I gain it back and then some. So slow it is. When I get into those moods I keep peanut butter on hand, and I just eat it by the spoonful. Sounds grose, but when you don’t want to eat a large vloume of food, it works to get calories in. Also, stuff like smoothies and carnation instant breakfast have worked - as I’m “drinking” not “eating”.
You’re doing great with the weight loss but don’t slip back to your old anorexic ways. You want to be healthy, right? I’m surprised you’re not going into starvation mode on so few calories unless you are working out like crazy.
Wow for you for recognizing this. Yes it is huge. I’ve spent a lot of time learning *why* we need to eat and often more than we think or want, and have some issues with not wanting to eat, I mean really not wanting to. I’m with you, girl and I’m so glad you are this far along to *go public.* You will do this! Delita
Just remember, you want to create habits you can live with for the long run. The short run high of getting the weight off doesn’t matter as much as creating a way to live life that you can maintain. It sounds like planning ahead for days when eating will be a challenge is key. Pack a lunch, stock up on good frozen food and put some almonds in your purse! Hang in there and EAT FOR HEALTH! HUGS from Seattle!
I know how you feel- there are days I’m literally like AFRAID of food- how sad is that?
We just have to keep telling ourselves we can’t do that to ourselves!
I know exactly how you feel.. it is TOUGH for me to eat more. What helps me is telling myself that my body needs FUEL in order for me to be a better runner. I have seen how it affects my ability to run well if I’m eating too little.
I, too, have days like that. It’s a struggle, finding the right balance of adequate calories but not too much or too little. :: major hugs ::