Weight: 155.4
Monday, the day of new beginnings. The weekly “day 1 - I’m gonna start that diet today” day. A lot of people have Monday as their weekly weigh in day (I did at one point too, thought it would help me stay more on target during the weekend. It’s amazing how you can undo in two days what it took five days to accomplish!)
Since I work Sundays (and a lot of Saturdays too), Mondays have lost a lot of their Mondayness for me (same with Fridays. TGIF doesn’t really mean much when you have to get up and go to work the next morning!) And this has made me rethink the whole “magicalness” that we dieters seem to associate with Mondays. I was reading someone else’s blog the other day (forgive me, I can’t for the life of me remember whos, I read a lot of blogs on here, even if I don’t always comment!) And they stated that they were starting their DAY 1 on a Wednesday, and that sorry if that was weird. I’ve been thinking about that ever since. There’s no magic to starting on a Monday. Just like there’s nothing special about January 1st. But we all have a tendency to use that as an excuse, I think, to be “less than” until that magic day rolls around.
Well, that’s enough reflection and introspection for today!!
I’m in the mid 150s. I’m ready to be back in the 140s. I have in my Progress page, my lowest weight as 146.8, but I know I’ve seen 143 on the scale. At least for a few minutes! And so mentally, that is the lowest weight that I’m trying to get back down to before I can continue my journey into “virgin fat lost”! However, for all intents and purposes, I have 10 lbs to go (give or take, depending on the number you want to use as my “lowest” weight) to be “back down”. My size 8s are starting to get loose. My eyeing my size 6s again.
I still can’t believe I officially lost the entire summer. I know I self-sabotaged. I still can’t figure out why. I mean besides the basic/general “fear, insecurity, etc…” I’ve never been comfortable in my own body, so I guess this is just an extension of that. Even in high school, back when I was 105 lbs, I dressed in baggy sweaters, my dad’s sweatshirts and tshirts, everything oversized and shapeless. Part of it was the style of the time (oh the ’80s, what the hell were we thinking???!!!) but I embraced those styles because I was ashamed of my body. I had quite the rack (still do) and my mom made me feel ashamed of my “assets” (I’m sure my modestly endowed mother didn’t know what to do with a daughter who was sporting a pair of DDs on a size 2 frame!) I was constantly told to cover up, my clothes were too tight, etc… Another aspect was my very strict Mormon upbringing. And the sexual abuse at the hands of my father throughout my childhood… yes, I’m the cliche. And I’m trying now, nearly 40 years old, to finally come to terms with all of it.
Ha, did I say I was done with reflection and introspection???!! Kind of heavy for a Monday!
Posted on September 28th, 2009 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering
I know I certainly used that excuse in the past… oh I’ll start on Monday so I can pig out as much as I want the weekend before! I also notice a lot of “day 1, starting over” posts…was thinking this morning that there have been plenty of days I’ve been less than perfect on my diet this time around but I never looked at the next day as starting over… just learning from mistakes!
*hugz*
I used to do the same thing- I mean I started this diet on Sunday! Talk about a strange starting date lol
Haha, I once stayed up until midnight just so I could eat until Monday morning, and I ate until 11:59pm on Sunday. Can I tell you how jealous I am that your 8’s are loose? You’re doing great, don’t let a month or two bring you down.
I’ve been following your blog since May and the fact that you are keeping up your posts is something to be proud of. I’ve hardly lost anything since starting this blog, but I’ve grown emotionally! You should be really proud!!!
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