Marathon Mom

I did it. And more importantly, I didn’t do it!!

I DID go to the gym today. I realized today why I fight going. While I like working out on the equipment, I’m EXTREMELY self-conscious. Everyone at my gym is fit, we are talking toned arms and 6-pack abs. I’m not exaggerating. I feel like a big, fat flab. I was having to share the machines today with a bunch of ripped 20 something guys. I have never felt older or less cool in my life. UGH. It took imagining myself in that bathing suit and having to post it on here for me to even stay and do my workout. Even the women in their 50s and 60s put me to shame! It’s hard being the fattest person in the gym. I know that may shock some/many of you. That at just 30-40 pounds over my ideal weight, I’m the fattest person there, but these people have like NO body fat. One of the biggest draw-backs of living in Marin County. Everyone here is fit, health-obsessed and very trim and toned. The average sized woman in the rest of the country may be a size 14, but here it’s a size 6. I’m like that line from the Devil Wears Prada “A size 2 is the new 4. And 6 is the new 14!”

So, on to what I didn’t do. I didn’t have fast food today. First, I was super-stressed and really wanted a burger and fries. Really badly too! But I didn’t. I had some grilled fish and a big bowl of edamame (it’s what I had in the freezer upstairs at work.) Then my mom had to drop off her car for some repairs and when I picked her up, she wanted to drive thru McDs for an ice cream cone. I love McDs soft-serve ice cream and I almost craved, I mean, is that REALLY fast food?? But then I thought, no I better not. I’ll just get a Diet Coke. And then I was all, WAIT does that still count? I mean, it’s still from a fast food place? So does that make it fast food??? So, I didn’t get anything. I didn’t want to end up in a bikini on Facebook on a technicality!!!

So, to sum up: gym - yes! Fast food - NO!

Tiny2b - it is still ON!!

I also did 50 minutes on the elliptical this morning before work.

Unfortunately, not all non-fast-food is good for you, as I will demonstrate below:

Breakfast: sugar free oatmeal (2 packets)
Snack: half a bucket of Red Vines
Lunch/Dinner: 2 Gorton’s grilled fish fillets and a ginormous bowl of edamame
Snack: big ole handful of TGIFriday’s cheese pizza chips (kids found these at the dollar store, they are awesome!)
Movie: box of frozen Junior Mints

I keep thinking I ate something else in there, but that’s basically because I ate those Red Vines all morning. You know the worst part? I HATE Red Vines. But I’m addicted to them. My mom loves them and goes through serious buckets of ‘em. So I’ve inherited her addiction. Plus, they are handy as she usually has a big bucket on her desk. Which is just a few feet from mine. Harsh.

I’m propped up in bed with the bags of frozen veggies on my knees again. And I popped a Vicodin (I have for the past few nights. It helps me sleep. I’m hoping the knee pain will eventually lessen and I won’t need to anymore. The pain keeps me from falling asleep. It’s gotta get better eventually, right???!!!)

Tomorrow morning I have a 3 miler. Outside. I’ve learned my lesson. No more treadmill until my knees get stronger. Promise!

Posted on August 5th, 2009 by firefly
Filed under: daily blathering