Marathon Mom

Weight: 158.6

So I finally got whatever it was out of my eye yesterday, but it continued to be irritated for the rest of the day. Would spontaneously tear up. And I woke up this morning with it all crusty (sorry for the TMI) but thankfully whatever it was, was finally completely gone. No pain, no faint scratchy scratchy and the tearing has stopped. However, it is a lovely swollen red googly thing. I am a beauty and wonder to behold! Nothing some eyeliner and mascara can’t fix! Or mask sort of. I’m in the office for a half day and then home. I shouldn’t frighten too many children.

I took the kids to see Disney’s A Christmas Carol (in digital 3D!!) last night. It was awesome (but scary for younger kids, I was surprised at how intense parts of it were! I wrote a review for the Imperfect Women website - that should be up in the next day or so.) I did NOT buy candy, popcorn or a soda. I brought my water bottle. I had my daughter make up little baggies with their halloween candy in it for the kids and then I bought them each a Slurpee (cause they were whining and sulking about no popcorn and I wanted to enjoy the movie! Plus, I admit to feeling guilty for sneaking in food so I feel obligated to buy SOMETHING at the concession stand. Yes, movie snacks are horribly over-priced, but two wrongs don’t make a right. And I worry about teaching my kids that it’s ok to break rules if you feel they’re wrong… moral implications and ambiguity blah blah blah…) ANYWAY - so I had a couple or three pieces of their Halloween candy. And my water. I am a saint!

Today will be a bit harder cause I’ll be home and baking for part of it. In the KITCHEN. Yeah, that’s a hard one for me. It’s one thing not to snack cause I have no access to snacks. It’s another thing to be surrounded by food and handling it! I am not made of stone! Yikes!!

I’m still not feeling one hundred percent. I have just the remnants of that cold still lingering about. I’m a little snuggly and I cough occasionally, but when I do it’s DEEP. Like from my toes. And it’s what’s called “productive” or “wet” which means ICK! So as long as that’s going on, any real exercise like running is just out. So I’m trying real hard to focus on the healthy eating. Which is hard considering TOM IS IN THE HOUSE and being super demanding this go around. I really just want to curl up in bed with chocolate and a bunch of Brendan Fraser movies! Especially George of the Jungle - mmmm…. loincloth Brendan!

You know, I AM still sick. I shouldn’t be handling the kids’ food. Yeah, it’s really in there best interest that I NOT cook. I’m just thinking of the children (the CHILDREN!) Because I, am all about the children.

Weight: 159.4

After like this “perfect” day of eating, yesterday. I should be upset with the gain, right. Except that I discovered this morning that TOM was standing on the scale with me. The bastard! So, all the candy binges of the last week are not my fault - IT’S ALL TOM’S FAULT!! (Hmm… this is sounding vaguely familiar.)

So, I’m good with it. And even though today actually managed to get off to a WORSE start than yesterday (if that was even possible without loss of life or limb) I did NOT use it as an excuse to grab a crap-n-go breakfast from Jack in the Box. Or even a gingerbread latte and pumpkin scone from Buck in the Star (give it a minute…. there ya go!) BTW - if you are feeling tempted to “indulge” take a minute and go to the company’s website. Look at the nutrition info. A venti non-fat gingerbread latte with no-whip: 330 calories (not HORRIBLE, but definitely not great.) A pumpkin scone: 450 calories. And that, my friends, is nearly my DAILY allowance! In something that I wouldn’t even consider breakfast, since totally NOT FILLING at all!!! Yeah, talked me right out of it there! MY WORD how can people eat that (ok, so I can totally eat it, but only in ignorance. Now that I know, I don’t think I could stomach it - yes, you’re welcome for that pun of the day.)

So I had tea (zero calories) and a Lean Cuisine chicken fettucini something or other that had like 300 calories. And was remarkably filling.

I have had something in my eye like ALL MORNING. It has felt like someone was taking a straight pin and scraping it up and down my eye every time I blinked. I blink a lot. Especially when it feels like I have a straight pin in my eye. I finally had to kick vanity in the nuts and just go flush my eye out with water. Then I spent another 20 minutes getting all the make up off my other eye. I now look like my best friend died or I have an eye infection. Good news - whatever the hell it was is finally gone. Bad news - it’s noon and I have to stay red and swollen eyed with no make up for the rest of the work day. Maybe people will think I’m bereft or contagious and stay the hell away - oh, well than it’s win-win!

More later. Need to get back to pretending to work… *wondering if I can break my Bejeweled Blitz high score*

Weight: A miraculous 159.0 considering the mass quantities I consumed yesterday

This next part is not for the faint of heart.

You’ve been warned.

Also, you probably don’t want to be eating.

Again, you’ve been warned. Note: double warning.

Ok, you brave and trouble souls. This next part here is what happens when you don’t do laundry and need something clean to wear to work so your foul odor doesn’t kill your co-workers. This was a dire emergency. And also, a reminder of why I need to stop with the Halloween candy already. GEEZ!

This is titled: This muffin-top ain’t just for breakfast

You were warned! Those are my size 6 jeans I’m crammed into there. I had to wear them to work today because, hello, laundry. And yes, my room is a mess. So we aren’t really surprised that I had to cram my size nearly 10 behind into a pair of jeans I used to wear 15 pounds lighter because I didn’t have anything clean to wear.

And that was just the start to a really crappy day so far. I mean CRAPPY with a capital SH (no, not SHAPPY - however, that is funny. I needed to crack a bit of smile this morning… so close!) I am ANGRY. Like shaking with anger, angry. And over stupid things, like not having clean pants, not being able to fit in the clean pants I do have, the house being a mess in general, the kids not doing their chores, getting in late to work, etc… Just all that little stuff that adds up. It’s barely 10am and I already feel like my day is totally in the toilet! I forgot to pick up for Stevia packets for my tea. The water cooler is empty. Wah Wah Wah.

OK. PIty Party is OVER. I heading to the store for the Stevia packets. We have two employees and no customers. I can be gone for 5 minutes. I’ll refill the water cooler bottle myself (yes, we just refill it with filtered tap water. No Culligan man comes here.) I will take five minutes to just breathe with my eyes closed and focus some positive energy inward. I can turn today around. It does not need to suck. It’s ever so slightly raining today, which I LOVE because it fills the air with the wonderful scents of rain and trees and just that fall time freshness (Marin County is blessedly close to the ocean and fairly pollution free. Taking a deep breath of fresh air outside here is not counter-productive!)

Today is going to be a GOOD DAY - because, I said so, THAT’S why!

UPDATE 11:46 AM

Today is a sucky day because it just won’t budge. And it wins. So it sucks.

I hate (in no particular order):

My job

My kids (ok, not really the kids, but their attitude and laziness and messiness and slovenliness - all the ‘nesses!!)

My double digit credit rating

My single digit bank account balance

My twice divorced singlehood

Rob Pattinson’s hair (srsly, it’s called a BRUSH!)

Not being able to wear Junior size clothing because I have breasts

Bon Jovi tickets went on pre-sale today and I realized I can’t afford them

My life in general

UPDATE 8:19 PM

Ending the day on a positive note. Work was so busy that I didn’t get lunch until after 4pm. No snacking period. Guess that’s one way to stick to a diet!

It’s amazing how just a few minutes of Brendan Fraser on screen can perk up my day! GI Joe was waiting in my mailbox when I came home. I just finished sharing a bag of light microwave popcorn in bed with my littlest ones while watching a great action flick. Awesome end to a less than stellar day.

And not one piece of Halloween candy! I think the candy fairy has retired til next year!

Weight: 159.0

I need to get back to daily blogging here. If nothing else, it keeps me accountable. It was too easy last month to just sort of shut my eyes and think “eh, tomorrow. I’ll get back on it tomorrow” and then eat whatever and not work out. That’s how I put back on those 20+ lbs over the summer. That’s EXACTLY how I did it! Well, I’m not going to blindly eat my way through the holidays. I just can’t start the New Year with it all to do over again. Especially since I’ll be only 14 weeks from my marathon in Paris. I need to be in top form, not recovering from a three month binge!

Uh-oh… I just ate a vanilla tootsie roll midgie (the little ones.) Well, it was delivered by my 5 year old who has dubbed herself the Candy Fairy and runs around leaving candy under everyone’s pillow (can you tell the Tooth Fairy has been to our house recently?! Not for her, though, but for big brother Sean who has now lost more teeth than he has left! He looks like a human jack-o-lantern!) I couldn’t hurt the Candy Fairy’s feelings, now could I?! What kind of a mother would I be, I HAD to eat it for the emotional well-being of my child (laying it on a little thick there? Dammit!)

I’m still sick, a lingering chest and head cold. But I feel MUCH better today than I have the last few. I am optomistic that I’ll be able to get back to the exercising thing by the weekend *knocks on wood*!

Gotta get moving for work. I’ll finish this up later.

UPDATE 10:17 AM

Perhaps starting the day with a visit from the Candy Fairy isn’t so great afterall. Since I grabbed three fun size snickers and a regular tootsie midgie on my way out the door. However, I WAS planning on picking up a gingerbread latte at Starbucks on the way into work and I skipped it because of the little candy-fest. So calorie and sugar wise, I’m probably balanced out. Guilt - we don’t need no stinkin’ guilt!!

I have now had a Lean Cuisine Flatbread melt thing for breakfast (I believe you should consume the most calories in the morning and wean down as the day goes on, like I hear they do in Europe. Cause I’m all fancy-schmancy like that!) And I’m currently enjoying a hot cuppa Lady Grey tea. I feel more “on” now, like I’ve narrowly escaped a really bad accident. Day started off not great, but I’ve “fixed” it.

Today is going to be a busy one. But I’ve got a plan brewing in my noggin’. I’m going to beat this holiday season yet!! New Years Day will see me at my lowest weight so far, and within a stone’s throw of my goal weight. I CAN DO IT!!!

UPDATE 4:40 PM

Currently paving the pathway to Hell…

I have eaten three packages of 100 calorie Keebler fudge stripe cookies and 4 packages of 100 calorie Cheez Its (ya, lets not do the math on that, shall we??) Also had a Lean Cuisine Southwest Chicken Panini for lunch. I would declare food OVAH for today - but who are we fooling? I’m going to go home and eat more candy, with our without accompanying fairy.

NO, I’M NOT!!! I just thought of this!! I have a two hour meeting tonite after work (that I do NOT want to go to, but that’s just life, ain’t it!) and while I’m gone, I’m going to have the kids divide up all the candy into Candy Sean CAN Have and Candy Sean Can’t Have (because it has: gluten, dairy, and/or peanuts - which, yes, means most of it.) Then I’m going to have them put it into two separate and appropriately labeled tupperware containers in the cupboard and out of sight. I am definitely a see/do kind of person. And out of sight/out of mind totally works with me… mostly. It helps anyway.

They’ll probably have pastries and cookies at the meeting tonite. Dammit!

Suzeeeq nominated me for this, undeserving though I feel!

Rules:

-Include the award on your blog or post
-Share with everyone six interesting facts about yourself
-Nominate as many bloggers as you like
-Be sure to link the nominees within your post
-Let them know that they received this award through their tagboards or private message them
-Share the love and link this post so that everyone will know the person whom you received your award from.

Six interesting facts about me:

1.I have a ham radio operators license. My call sign is KG6NFI

2. I am an ordained minister and performed my sister and bro-in-laws wedding ceremony last year.

3. I am a daredevil - I loved skydiving earlier this year and can’t wait to go bungee jumping.

4. I married for the first time at 19 because my then-fiance told me he’d never marry a teenager. So I made sure to set the date just three weeks before my 20th birthday. Don’t tell me I can’t do something. Ever!

5. Even though I grew up in California, and currently reside there now, I spent 8 years in Northern Utah and 4 years in St. George - two separate marriages!

6. I secretly hope that my letter to Hogwarts just got delayed and will one day show up via owl!

I nominate: tiny2b, Kelly and Diet Buddy Daily!

instead I feel like death warmed over. OK, not that bad. But pretty bad. Head cold, one side is all stuffed up, including the ear on that side. UGH. And my chest hurts just a tiny bit when I take a deep breath (so I try not to do that. Ba-dum-bum.)

I don’t even know what my weight is right now, but I’m pretty sure I’m up in the 160s. It’s been some kind of candy-fest-binge-orgy-free-for-all. It’s like I totally lost my mind. I know I’ve been thinking that come November 1st I was going to tackle this all HARD. But of course, now I’m sick. And while exercising is definitely out (what with the deep breathing issues) the eating right is back ON!

Patty gave me two awards last week, and I’m not feeling very deserving of them right about now. But I vow to change that!!

Crap, I started writing this all this morning and here it is after 6pm and I’m just now getting back to it. Sadly, all too typical of my days lately!

In the meantime, Suzeeeq also nominated me for a Gorgeous Blogger award but it looks like it’s going to require me to actually DO something. I just took some PM type meds and thinking is not really one of my strong suits when I’m all medicated! I will be doing a whole post just for that one… tomorrow!

Night all. Tomorrow is Monday, new day, new week, new month - BRING IT ON!!

Weight: 159.8 (I knew those chocolate chip cookies were going to do me in!!)

I am BACK, baby!! Awake at 5:30 (my alarm was set for 6, I woke up early on my own! How’s that for mind over lazy ass!!) Dressed and ON the elliptical by 6, did 42 minutes (that’s how long an episode of Charmed on DVD is.) Then 50 crunches, 50 deep knee squats, 10 push-ups (girlie style, I have the weakest arms!) and 30 seconds held in plank position. Showered, dressed, makeup and hair and PRESTO! I am ready to go and it’s not even 7:30! Boo-yah!

OK, so I AM enjoying a can of Cherry Coke Zero right now. There’s one more in the fridge. When they’re gone, they’re gone (I didn’t even buy them, my kids got them for me as a surprise. Damn kids! LOL!!) I will be making a oatmeal pancake muffin thing to take to work. It is just oats, an egg, a little water, some Splenda and spices. Nuke it for a few minutes and it’s ready to go. It’s totally low carb, which is good cause of me being the total carb addict. The only thing it’s really lacking is much protein, just the bit from the egg.  I should add some protein powder, but I only have chocolate and… that really doesn’t sound that good with oatmeal. I’m going to bring a couple bananas for snacks at work today. And there is already the fixin’s for a big healthy salad in the fridge at work. My gym bag is already packed and in the trunk of my car. I am all kinds of prepared and ON IT!!

Today is going to be a great Monday. Especially since tomorrow I’m OFF and heading to Fresno for the day. My BFF has flown in for a week. (Her grandfather-in-law passed last week and his funeral is today. So tragic, he was checking the vineyards and killed in a farming accident. He hung on for about two weeks before he finally died. So hard on the whole family. I feel guilty for being happy that she is here, considering the circumstances. She has had a whole baby since I last saw her, she lives in Minnesota.) Fresno is four hours from here, so I’ll be spending most of the day driving! But we’re going to run away for a couple hours of girl time. Her husband is going to keep the boys so I can kidnap her! She is on Weight Watchers, trying to lose the last of her pregnancy weight, so we’ll be relatively “good”.

I will hit the gym today too. And tomorrow morning, I back on the road. I’ll be logging a 3 miler!

Oh, I should mention here. I’ve started writing movie reviews for a website (part of why I’ve been so extra busy lately. That and the sewing.) You can check it out here: Imperfect Women - just scroll down to the entertainment section. So far I’ve reviewed: Where the Wild Things Are, Paranormal Activity and most recently Motherhood. Next up will be Amelia, which I saw on Saturday. It’s nice to get back to my first love, writing.

UPDATE 3:33 PM

Had to improvise on breakfast. Oatmeal pancake thing was out and so I hit the grocery store for a Smart Ones frozen breakfast egg mcmuffin thing (pack of two for $3.00 - not too shabby!) I saw that Granny Smith apples are on sale for $.69/lb which is basically like STEALING!!! So I nabbed a bunch and had those for a snack instead of bananas (much better for me too!) Unfortunately, I also grabbed some roasted almonds. Too many roasted almonds. Drat!! Better than cookies, but not great.

Lunch was half a veggie sandwich from Subway (a co-worker brought in a foot long and then begged me to take half! Hey, I’m not one to look a gift sub in the mouth!)

I just finished off an early dinner (I had an early lunch too) of a taco salad - lettuce, grape tomatoes, chopped red onions, mushrooms, salsa, a little fat free ranch dressing, and some soy protein that was like ground beef with taco seasoning. YUM!!

I am not going to make it to the gym today. Which sucks. I really wanted to go but getting away from work is just not feasible today. And I can’t spare the time when I get home, I still have a couple of costumes to make. One of them is for my mom and it’s going to be somewhat labor/time intensive.

NO MORE FOOD TODAY!!!

Weight: 159.2

I think I should retitle this Pile-it-on Challenge!!

Exercise - nile

Food - ehhhhh… not great.

Challenge - we don’t need no stinkin’ challenge!

Ugh! I’d be frustrated with myself, if I had the time! Yikes!! At least I haven’t hit the 160s yet… of course, that could all change the minute I step on the scale tomorrow. I have got to get back on track. I haven’t run in weeks. I feel so OFF of everything. I even had a burger and fries the other day (and then a bad case of uh… Montezuma’s revenge later. My bod is not having any of THAT!) I’ve been drinking Diet Coke again… not even close to previous amounts. But still, I’ve started to crave it again. Bleck.

Oh, and since I’ve been drinking it again (maybe one a day, if that) I’ve noticed my energy sapped and more noticeably, my headaches are back. Almost daily. My sleep schedule is all f***ed up. It is NOT good for me at all. And yet, I have a cherry Coke Zero on my nightstand (empty, just finished it.) What is wrong with me? I need to cut them back out completely.

I’m back on NOW. Which, since I’m sitting in bed, isn’t really all that hard! But the point is, I’m not saying tomorrow, I’m saying as of this second. NOW! It is ON!!

I am going to sleep as soon as I sign off here. I will get up in the morning and hit the elliptical (still need to stick to the run schedule, which means run on Tuesday.) I will EAT BREAKFAST (I’ve been skipping again!) and lots of fruit. I will have a big, healthy salad. I will have healthy snacks. I will go to the gym (can’t remember the last time I stepped foot in that place!) I will get this back on track NOW!

And I will go back to daily blogging. I will finish this challenge! Dammit!!

Weight: too much pork and apple stew last night!

Sorry, everyone. I’ve been a bit MIA around here. I have a lot going on at home and I’ve not been able to spend any time blog reading. As it is, I’m barely eeking out a few minutes to post here. I’m hoping after this week things will calm back down a bit and I can get back on track.

Today is my oldest son’s 17th birthday. Finally, he can go to R rated movies without me. He’s jazzed! We’re going out to dinner with my parents tonite to celebrate. We rarely eat out because of a) expense and b) Sean’s food allergies. However, my ‘rents are paying and we’re eating at Mary’s Pizza Shack who offer a gluten free pizza crust! Yay!! They do not have casein free cheese, but you have two choices there. Either bring in your own cheese and they’ll make the pizza with that (I’ve done that in the past, it’s worked great!) or just get the pizza without cheese (which is the option we’re choosing tonite.)

My plan for today is to eat but keep things on the extra light side and just have one slice of pizza tonite. We’ll see how that goes. Oh, and there will be cake! And I will probably have one small piece. Cause TOM is here with a vengence right now and I LOVE CAKE!! If I don’t have a piece at dinner with everyone else, I’ll just obsess about it and end up having a super huge piece when we get home, eating two to three times as much as I would have if I just had a regular piece with everyone else. I know me. I don’t need to set myself up for a binge. And so I won’t. It’s ok to eat normally, to have a small piece of what you want. It’s the denial, the “bad or forbidden” foods list that jacks everything up. That’s not to say that I have foods I won’t eat because they are trigger foods for me. Like chips. And muffins. But I can have a small piece of cake and be satisfied. Unless I’ve denied myself the cake and then cave later on. Oh BOY, is that the set up for an out of control food orgy! No more. I know myself too well.

UGH - it’s just pouring rain out and I do not want to get up and moving today. I want to stay snuggled up in bed and sleep all day. Why must my life suck so? Ok, it doesn’t really suck. I’m just tired and lazy today.

Have a great October 13th everyone!!

Weight: 156.2

Tomorrow I’m tackling this hard again. Exercise, accountability, conscious effort. I’ve been crazy busy since last Friday. I’m just now trying to catch up with everything.

So tomorrow morning I’m back to getting up at 5am, exercising and taking the day head-on!