Wherever it takes me

It’s terrible that in a world full of people looking for Mr. Right, she has had hers at her side for 11 years.  This man who, for whatever reason, believes the sun rises and sets on her, finds her sexy, and beautiful.

He told her last night that “whatever issues (she) perceives are hers alone and (she) needs to get over them.”  He didn’t say it in a deragatory or mean way, it was actually while fooling around.  And, he’s right.  In every way possible he proves his attraction, and he supports her emotionally. 

So what holds her back?  What keeps her from moving forward and accepting that love and affection?

She’s freezing as she sits and watches TV.  There’s no motivation to move, only to sit cuddled in a blanket trying to warm up.

She’s been trying to make better choices but finds herself turning to her best friend, food, to get through the long long days at the job she dispises.  She knows that she needs to change her thought processes - food is actually her biggest enemy.  But it offers the comfort that she requires on a daily basis.  And food is therapy, right?

Yes, she knows she is wrong.  Food is fuel, not comfort.  Food is the means to survive, not the reason.  Intellectually she knows all of this but when the time comes to make the choices and the stress levels are high, and the chocolate is staring her in the face she cannot make the right choice.

How many times in her 30 year old life has she started this same journey?  As the fat kid for as far back as she can remember there has always been the thought in the back of her head that she needs to lose weight.

Sometimes, she was successful.  But each time that she fell back off the wagon the weight piled on more and more.  Add 2 pregnancies, and working full time and stress and depression to the mix and there is now the 225lb woman who waddles through her days.

She has a job which is making her more and more miserable each day that she goes there.  For the last 11 months she has desperately tried to find another job and finally in the last couple of weeks she has a couple of promising opportunites.  She went shopping on Friday to find something to wear to her interview this week, and was devestated by the way the clothing looked on her.  She knows the look she wants but on her current body it isn’t working.

Hence, her motivation has kicked back in.  It is time to change the outward appearance into something that is beautiful, positive and healthy.  So here she is, garnering support for her endeavor from others who face the same struggles and will share in the same joy.