Teach a girl to fish…

Woot!  Weighed in this morning at 202.6!  Thats 7 lbs down from the beginning of September. 3 of them in the last week.  Funny what happens when you exercise and push yourself a little!

Bootcamp is beautiful torture.  I am not the biggest girl there, but I am the weakest, the slowest runner, and probably still the  most scared of that feeling that comes when my body wants to quit.  Much like on the biggest loser, you just have to block it out and remember its okay to be tired, sore and still do 8 more reps. You find it in yourself.

Heres the envelope I opened today

So my envelope had my reward of a subscription to a health magazine. Perfect! I am going to get that done today!  So looking forward to the next one!  Off to shop for my planned food for the next week. House is still quiet with Boblian gone and I hope to enjoy it a  little this evening!

My girlfriend who has been doing the camp FOREVER was in my face and a ton of encouragement tonight.  It was a huge help.   Kelli - the trainer- says WE are on a mission to get me healthy and that I rocked it tonight.  Sure the soreness will keep up and thats okay. I have my goal set on getting me one of the tanks tops that says “My bootcamp is better than your bootcamp” but I want to rock the arms when I get it. So one day at a time. Headed for shower and bed to let my body heal.  Off on Friday and looking forward to catch up with you girls!  Thanks for encouraging comments, and BE GOOD to yourselves!  You deserve it!

been back to finish posting for good reason.  Bootcamp is kicking my butt.  Days go something like this right now:

• 5am wake up
• 6am at work
• 11:30 home for lunch, let dog out
• 12:30 back to work
• 4pm off work & home to let dog out, get snack and ready for ….
• 6pm Bootcamp
• 7:30 get home
• 8:00 showered & fed - short computer time
• 9pm ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I didn’t even get through TBL last night only 1/2 way.

Will try to get back here today and get my self check list done!

Go me!

It’s cloudy here. Mostly quiet. Time for me to get my poop in group. Future hubby just left for deerhunting in Idaho - I have anywhere from 1 to 2 weeks to myself. A little scary, but and good time for me to get focused. Maybe by the time he’s back, my routine will be engrained enough to have it just feel like normal!

Here’s todays plan:

1. Shower, breakfast, get to mall for new work out clothes.  DONE
2. Back home - pull out all my “this will motivate me” stuff (pics, rewards, journals, whatever) and review.
3. Blog - set up a system of checking in, checking off, and keeping myself on track
4. 6pm BOOTCAMP - 1st night - 6 weeks - paying hard earned money to get a hard body (or at least a less wiggly one)
5. Dinner
6. Blog/Thread check in
7. 8 hours of sleep.

So… I need to get off this darn computer and get moving even though I feel like I could sit here for an hour and pour stuff out to get back to having a “mind like water”.  Oh well.  Inaction got me to this weight. I’m off to change that right now!

Well, yesterday was a but but I did get this much typed out and should have posted it here last night.

I want to open my 5lb envelope. Just the 5lbs. I am dying to weigh in in onederland. Its October and I have been obsessed with the food and weight thing and nothing has changed in 10 months. I actually gained 8 pounds. Poop!

I want to FINISH something ~ anything. I want to start everything ~ Bootcamp, painting a room, organizing my office, cleaning the barn out. I’m just overwhelmed with thoughts!!

I started Flylady again. I have shined my sink fo r2 days in a row and even moved my refrigerator and vacuumed the coils and mopped the floor. Going to track my days with a shiny sink. OH and, laundry is caught up. Start load in morning, finish at lunch. Is working fantastically!

Really want to start on Christmas gift making. Hoping I can think of practical things to make this year!

Getting my hair cut today. Really wanted color too, but no time. So color is in a couple weeks.

This excerpt from my Aug 16 entry still encompasses that anxiety and frustration I am feeling about no me time….. “We kinda inadvertantly celebrated the coming of the school year and mourned the end of summer.   But theres never really a season that stops when you grow up, is there? There’s never a hey its the first day of “Kris” you know, days when you can count on the thighs to shrink, and the stomach to flatten, and the floppy wing things that have developed between your elbows and armpits to disappear.   When is my season? And not even just for health… what about a quiet week to read a whole book?  How about one whole paycheck to myself, or a perfectly clean house, 1 month.   When does that season start?   I know its up to me.  I know I get the same 24 hours as everyone else. But my mind doesnt stop, ever.  My body can do anything because my mind thinks I am constantly exhausted.  Mind over matter may have worked years ago, but now….. it just all I can do to get up in the morning, go to work, be productive, and come home.  I want more out of me. “

I did get to cut coupons, call mom - son - and bff last night and watch 2 episodes of Ally McBeal (I LOVED THAT SHOW AND THEY FINALLY RELEASED THE 1ST SEASON ON DVD!  WOOT!

Gonna get my work done today and maybe? have time to get back here before the kids show up tonight!

ROUND - thanks for comment.  Mind like water is absolutely what I am after!

Note to self - blog today or else!  You know your head needs to be emptied and this is a great spot for it.  You are at work, but go open a blank document and pop on to it to clear out that to-do list, craft craving, sleep deprived, thought hoarding brain of yours.  I’ll see you back here tonight to cut and paste and review!!!!

Today’s stuff:

1. Clean house and laundry 8:30 to 10:30

2. Shower and off to mall for tennis shoes and maybe a sundress

3. Back by 1 pm for paperwork/file clean out

4. Get in walk with dog and exercise ball workout from Fitness mag

I have been smoking all weekend ~ no mass today!  I am feeling like crap and I could fall back into it in a hurry.  I ate 1egg & 2whites, and 2 pieces of toast for breakfast.  Need to grocery shop.  Gotta stay focused.  Off to start my list.  Committed to daily blogging simply to keep my brain from wadding up.  Summer 2010 here I come!

But that was yesterday. So I guess I should get over it. Why did I even post that. No clue… my brain is fried today.

Its my gramps birthday today. 1st one without Grandma.  I had planned on asking if I could plan my wedding (if I’m ever proposed to JEFF!) to be held on her birthday next year.  May try to talk about it at dinner. We will see.

I ate well today. I mean, Well, I ate today.  Lunch was doritos and quacamole with applepie and icecream as the chaser. Dang this heart burn. I dont get it.

Gonna have to delay workout to tomorrow.  DSS has to have surgery on arm tomorrow.  Stress is readily available for the taking, but I’m not buying. Gonna keep my cool and leave the drama for another day. Stuff happens and this is a life thing that too shall pass. I am glad Boblain is of that thought too.  Okay blog world, I’m out. See ya next round (tomorrow?)

Okay that second one worked, the 3rd time I read it!  Things never slow down do they?  Tomorrow is Monday. Tomorrow is my new day.  I have to get back in the game.  Talk of marriage is in the air.  NO FORMAL PROPOAL, but we are looking at early June of 2010.  I HAVE GOT TO START NOW!

Found what looks to be a great little exercise routine in a fitness mag. I think I will start it tomorrow. Tonight I am going to reread my blog, regroup, and get myself mentally equiped to change my world.

Boblian is at the ER right now with youngest stepson.  He hurt (broke?) his arm messing around on my exercise ball just minutes before we were leaving  to drop all the kids off.  So I ended up with a quite house, that’s clean suprising, and the perfect setting to get myself motivated.  May start a new tab on my blog, who knows!

Alrightly. Gonna go check a few things out. Will be back later!

fatsomemore.  Fatnomo is hardy how my life has been going.  I am out of control.  I ate everything I could this weekend and then more when no one was looking.  I feel like you would  expect that I feel; bloated, uncomfortable, tired, achy, and genuinely overweight.  I bore myself saying “I’ll start tomorrow” and then diving into the first plate of mexican food offered to me.   But I suppose I will start tomorrow.  I have some fish cooked. Gonna go steam some rice.  I have a huge salad made already. Watermelon cut up.  So why the ice cream and chocolate cupcakes?  Why… because they are here.  It was a kid weekend.  We kinda inadvertantly celebrated the coming of the school year and mourned the end of summer.   But theres never really a season that stops when you grow up, is there? There’s never a hey its the first day of “Kris” you know, days when you can count on the thighs to shrink, and the stomach to flatten, and the floppy wing things that have developed between your elbows and armpits to disappear.   When is my season? And not even just for health… what about a quiet week to read a whole book?  How about one whole paycheck to myself, or a perfectly clean house, 1 month.   When does that season start?   I know its up to me.  I know I get the same 24 hours as everyone else. But my mind doesnt stop, ever.  My body can do anything because my mind thinks I am constantly exhausted.  Mind over matter may have worked years ago, but now….. it just all I can do to get up in the morning, go to work, be productive, and come home.  I want more out of me.   I need to find ways to turn those moments into me moments I guess…. ugh… I am rambling. I am going to shower and going to bed for a full 8 hours sleep.   Good night blog land.