Today I discovered that I wore my underwear backwards… ALL DAY. Couldn’t figure out what felt so funny, went to change for the gym and AHA… that was the problem.
I did 45 minutes on the tread mill, took a body sculpting class, and may not be able to dress myself in the morning. Looking forward to seeing change… whateve it takes… keep on trucking.
Survived my trip to Oregon. Even better, enjoyed it. My niece is gorgeous and innocent and perfect. My sis and BIL are picture of a parenting team which is such a joy to watch. My dad is quirky, and driven and happy with his world. Long hours in the car did result in my observation that my father cannot to be driver OR sightseer seperately. He wants to do both… and in doing so has given me a world of material to fun about for years to come. We were the only vehicle in the 3 mile traffic jam with a driver who whipped out a pair of binoculars to “see what was goin on”. Check the outside temperature, check the map, check our mpg, check the outside temp, check the phone, take a picture, change the CD to listen to only one song multiple times, turn on talk radio, turn off radio, turn on radio, check the outside temp. For 14hours up and again 14 hours back. Lots of talking, lots of laughing, lots of unspoken “what the hell is he doing?” going through my head. He doesnt hold still well, and cant do one thing for a long period of time before he needs to distract himself with something else. I love that about him, because it is him… but it drove me to smoke the instant I got home even though I had been smoke free for the 4 days of the trip. Love my dad.
Got home about 10pm last night, got up about 7am this morning. Boblian made breakfast, we went to DSS kindergarten graduation (hole nuther story) and then got dragged to the gym to sign up. Looks like Boblian is in full swing to get healthy. I hope we both pull through. Usually we find we get motivated together then get on each others ass until one of us caves and we are back to our old ways. The old you’re doing it so why cant I routine. Wanna get to the you did it but lets both not do it again routine. I look forward to shrinking into a healthy sexy wife and mom by my 40th birthday in 2011. Turning 39 in one month (yes 4th of July baby here) and I am not going to wait until the 11th hour this time. If I could and it woulda worked, I’d weigh 145 now instead of 205.
Kid weekend this weekend. DS’s 21st bday next weekend. Lots of little stuff to do and trips packed in for the next few weekends. Cant wait for a break in the action to take charge of my health. Instead, gonna break up the action taking charge. I am gonna go set up one new habit a week for the month of June (starting late but who cares).
Also, today is my grandma Cobby’s 80th birthday, or would have been. We miss her dearly but smile none the less as phrases, looks and songs remind us of her. Especially the ones we sing to my niece. We will work hard make sure she know you, even if she didnt get the chance to meet you grandma. Celebrating the rest of the day, reflecting, restoring my soul, and resisting the temptation of strawberry shortcake….
Night world.
I’m going on a road trip, with my dad. We are headed to Bend, Oregon, to see my lil sis, my BIL and my new neice, Laura June - more affectionately known as Lemon Jello, since that was my sisters favorite hospital indulgence while she was in labor. I have packed my one suitcase - allotted for my travels and approved by my overly organized father. I believe I am entitle to 2.5 cubic feet of travel space (just kidding dad!). I have packed old rock CD’s so that we can have some bonding moments belting out the tunes that I remember rollerskating around in the back yard to while he painted cars. Doors, Rolling Stones, Tom Petty, and countless others. He’s a bit of a refined hippie. Young enough to be cool, old enough to know it all, and stuck on controlling every part of his environment. I’m looking forward to our first road trip together after 39 years! I am in a bit of pickle, as I was to have quit smoking already, but work and life have driven me over the brink and just beyond any energy left for will power. I will be patching up for the trip, and hope to return home smoke free. I’ve quit before, I can and will do it again.
My sis just had a miracle baby. She had battled with an illness for almost 15 years that she never let beat her, but was never expecting for her body to handle the creation of a little one. But God is Good. Now, we have a perfect little addition to our family that was worth the wait. I live 14 hours away and have not met her yet, but have stared into her eyes through pictures and feel l know her already. I cant wait to hold her and squish her and watch her sleep!
My diet plan is on hold. My exercise plan is repulsive (does walking around to put laundry away count?). I just went and bought a pair of size 16 jeans because my 14’s make me look like a muffin placed on 2 denim sausages. So I broke down and bought some comfy jeans… in hopes of enjoying my family and time off and not worrying about fitting into my pants.
But this is it. I will be 39 on July 4th, and since my 37th birthday I have had this mantra - “FIT AT 40″. Since then I have joined bootcamp (loved the results, hate the work and $ it costs), I have quit and restarted smoking, I have given away my “fat clothes” and slowly repurchased replacements. I have felt depressed, unenergetic, lacking and emotionally drained. Partly because responisibilities have skyrocketed (Union chairperson, working for gov’t agency facing 24% cuts, running business at home, and managing birthdays, vacations, kid weekends, recently married, and desperately wanting out of debt). Not that these are not “normal” for all kinds of people…. but I feel like nothing has let up in 20 years. I need some down time… I’m hoping this week will be the turning point. So like the title says - this weeks to-do includes Oregon, Lemon Jello, Nicoderm and Classic Rock. Here’s to no traffic, lots of scenery, and a good dose of family.
Be back to get head strong in a week. Be good.
I am exhausted, but I’m back. Work is crazy, kids are loud, money is tight, and my weight is still hanging around EVERYWHERE. Not sure what my current number is but guessing 203. Will weigh and measure later. Have a small to-do list for myself today:
I need somewhere to dump my brain. Somewhere safe. Here I am… again.
Coming to terms with some stuff. Making some hard changes. Marking a spot on my blog so 3fc knows I’m still alive and doesnt delete me.
Alrighty then. Got my challenges in check on the 3FC Thread. 3 of them may be too many, but they are each serving a different purpose for me.
WEED - these are my girls, my heart. I will always WEED.
G2010 - This challenge keeps me mixing things up. The mini challenges and micro challenges make me focus places other than the scale.
TBL - This is just flat competition for me. The one I am determined to FINISH this time (5th times a charm, right?)
Got a night of beer drinking, smoking (I know, I know) and eating shit food ahead of me. But mellow for the most part. Gonna mark off my Friday’s off on my new calendar, and redo some pages here. Be ready for Clean Slate Friday - or New Years Day.
I am going to try to get hubby out into the barn tomorrow and get some cleaning in. Can’t stand another day of sitting around. Makes me wanna go out and spend $ which is not in line with my finance goals this year. We did combo A bank account and have our own as well. Will be a true test of our ability to compromise. I think we’ll do fine. I want into my 15lb envelope, but may have to work extra hard since I slacked the last 2 “off” weeks of bootcamp. Things have just felt overwhelming with the holidays and travel and bills and work and kids and uhhhhhh, you all know what I mean. Okay, off to get organized and move forward with purpose. HAPPY NEW YEAR BLOG WORLD! I hope it rejuvenates you, where ever you are at in your life!
I am back for the eleventy billionth time. Don’t think the days are gonna slow down so some how I gotta catch up. My fingers feel as if they are going to bursst into flame from the acetone at the nail salon today. But my nails now shine and dance on the key board and my new wedding band is doing the bling boogie as I type. The only problem from this view are the white sausage like appendages that my shiny nails and dancing ring are attached to. Just got some pictures from my dad from our wedding ceremony (2 weeks ago). I look like I weigh a ton. Could I have at least held in my stomach? just for one picture. I felt so good leaving that morning… not sure what happened to my body between leaving the house and arriving a the ceremony. I had lost 13 lbsin 6 weeks (thanks Kellie and bootcamp) and I am proud of that. But it is grossly obvious that I need to stay focused. I am fighting the disgust, trying to pump up my success so far, and just realistic that it takes time to look like a thin healthy woman. I will get there.
And dangit, I am going to get here. To post my “credits” and keep my mind’s eye on the prize. I have an amazing hubby, great kids, and can pay my bills. One day at a time with the weight change. Maybe go borrow some acetone from Tam and sit on it a while. Must light a fire under me somehow…..
Back to bootcamp tomorrow. Weight this morning (unofficial) was 198 - up 5 from 1.5 weeks ago. Back on track with food and fitness tomorrow. Off to an impromptu dinner at mexican place tonigt. Will try to make good choices.
One thing to get done tomorrow: TURN IN INSURANCE PAPERWORK TO ADD DEPENDENTS!!!!
Ugh… I ate stellar…. 10 of 14 days. Last night got a little CRAZY with my “celebration” food. It all started with Friday’s need to go find a dress for my pending courthouse wedding (Hey Kris, you’re getting married in 11 days). I went to the mall that has existed for 20 years but I have only ever visited 2x previously. Why, because I never find crap there. Cater to a whole other crowd and what to my wandering wallet should appear? Nothing. Crap. Zilch. NADA. So a quick stop by McDonalds for a grilled chicken sandwich resulted in the consumption of mayo on my sammy and 15 french fries as a chaser….. Bad joojoo.
Saturday I knew we were 1) watching the world series, 2) celebrating a decision to wed, 3) celebrating Boblains birthday early. 5 pieces of pizza, one bread stick. 1/2 a beer and 1 LG bowl of antipasto salad later, I had broken every rule I had followed the previous 2 weeks. A cheater weigh in resulted in 197lb and some change. This morning, 198.8. So I lost 10lbs in October (Go me!) but only .6 or so the last week. Rocket science… I dont think so Tim.
Today, I have a dress, a ring for my man, an unending desire to snooze and my dread for going back to work tomorrow is creating a psychosymatic illness that has me trying to recall the sick line number and tomorrow is not even here yet. Our business (my other job) needs paperwork attention and I am desperate to have it be done with little or no effort. Where did I put that 3 wish genie???? Where…. oh where….
So I should be walking the dog, or reconciling bank statements. Instead I dream of one more day off and that last piece of pizza I have to keep pushing out of my way in the fridge to get to my salad. Boo hiss! Gonna see if my “fall back” attitude can be shaken, but I am not even at wiggle it off status. Maybe time to lay in bed…. and think about it. After all its only 440pm but I can already see the moon!
Woot! 5days POP food wise. 3rd bootcamp class of the week tonight! Boblian comes home tonight! and I weighed in for the 2nd day at 199! Ahhhhhhhhh I hope I have ditched the 200’s for good. I have… I just know it! Gotta go drink a shake and get to class! Woot
I have decided that I will be totally on point the next 5 weeks with what is “suggested” as my food plan by the bootcamp girls. They are thin and healthy and if they eat it then I will too!
I had a cup of coffee - now I usually drink coffee daily and how much depends on the temperature. I drink until it hits 76 lovely degrees outside. Sometimes that means 1 cup (mid summer) sometime 8 cups ( January = all day) but, I did my 1 cup today and used Truvia instead of Splenda, and I survived. Then I pulled off breakfast this morning, a less than enticing scramble of egg whites and zucchini with a piece of toast with mashed up avocado on it. It went down without much of fight. Then came the vitamins. Liquid was the key word according to nutrition girl (absorb faster, better, different) so I got some that desolve in a bottleof water (about as liquid as I could find). The overly berry smell, the funny fiz, and the sweet sweet taste after my ultra bland breakfast was about all I could take. I tried to break it up by drinking hot Green Tea - another blessed beverage - but it sucked too! No to mention, I started the colon cleanse and my stomach is really extra super pissed at me now and I had to get myself home to do my “business” for fear of being heard in the girls room. But I made it home, stomach boiling, and survived.
Ate lunch - fish tacos (homemade - no yummy sauce just tortilla, fish and salsa. Also ate a salad with balsamic vinager and olive oil dressing. I currently smell like an easter egg. Thinking I may have to brush my teeth again today soon.
I am committed to this thing dang it! Even if I spend 80% if my time testing and trying out, I am gonna stick with it and drop some lbs along the way. This has to work!
