Teach a girl to fish…

and she’ll eat ‘em all fried… part duex.

Day 14 - coming to a close August 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 7:53 pm

Its official. I am completing 14 full days of no smoking. I have only had one melt down, have gained (yes - its true) about 7 lbs, am PMSing and still everyone is unharmed in my house. It’s time to graduate to incorporating exercise, backing away from the fridge, and sucking it up and doing what I know I need to.

So I signed up on sparkpeople to track my food. Not sure how its going to work, but thinking that I need to give it a fair 30 day shot of tracking. Used to use Fitday, forgot my password, and have no idea what email address its going to. So I figured I would branch out, and try SP. I have 3 small goals for the week. One of which I am doing write now. :)

Drink 8 8oz glasses of water a day. Thank God its 110 outside and I crave it. :]

Walk the dog everyday. Too bad its 110 outside because I hate it. :/

Track my food daily. I need to do this.

Finally, I need to journal 3 times a week.

So, off to pull laundry out of the washer. Mavie, Patty, sorry I haven’t been here. Had kids this weekend and its been a little rough during the week. But tomorrow is a new day, and a new attitude. Nite blog world. Wish me luck!

 

Blazing Sevens! August 14, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 8:34 pm

Home. From Laughlin. Survived 4 days of gambling. A 10 mile river float. Buffet food. Over intoxicated 20 somethings and far too much skin being shown. I am now smoking what will be my last cigarettes. Smoked way too many this weekend. WAY TOO MANY. Having a little anxiety about returning to work tomorrow. I shut my phone and computer off for 4 full days. Peeked at my emails and am going to pay for not responding sonner. But dammit, I should get a break too. So I did.

Its getting late, and I want to bid farewell to my last smokeys in peace. Kids outta my hair. Hubbues still inside. Gonna grab a soda, some quiet and enjoy the last round. Nite.

 

August 5, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 6:21 am

Good morning all! Its Friday. Thank the Lord. I am torn about what to accomplish today. My options

1. Shopping for new suit/clothes for work

2. Going into work

3. Going into hubby’s work (self employed - needs my bookkeeping guidance)

4. Cleaning my house

5. Lazing around surfing internet and revamping my personal budgets

Pretty sure option 1 sounds the best, plus my pops is turning 60 tomorrow and I need to get him a gift. We have birthday party Saturday, and a birthday party Sunday. I’m pretty sure I need to bring something pot-lucky to both and I hate to cook. Will devise master plan to get food to each somehow.

Last night we jumped in the truck around 10:30 to go watch a MASSIVE piece of old nuclear plant equipment travel through our little city on its journey to Utah. It was amazing. The trailer was huge and a 3million dollar build with super gadgets to help get its 400ft length around corners, under traffic signals and moving down the road. I watched in awe and realized that I had experienced a once in a lifetime thing. Kinda cool.

In other news, my sons new dog (we think she’s a pit/mastiff mix) is doing her due diligence of spot peeing all over my house. She goes out side, but seems to always have just enough left to pee a quarter size spot the minute she’s back in the house. Getting better, but its got to stop. Maybe I need to add shampoo carpets to my list today.

Ok, rambling. Going to go have some more coffee and plan the day. Hope that Friday finds you happy and well!

 

Ahhhhgust August 4, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 8:18 pm

Sweet summer nights! How I miss this time of day when I was trying to finish my Masters. Long nights reading by porch light. Writing papers with friends slurpping margaritas… and that darn nicotine. The margaritas are few and far between. The papers are long since completed and I barely see my friends. But aaaaah those smokes. They just keep calling me. But their days are numbered.My son moved back home. He hates that I smoke. He pulls every trick in the book to guilt me into or forcably drive me to quit. He love me.Probably more than I love myself. He is giving me one last hoorah for my Laughlin trip, then he has promised to be in my face.

Anyone who smokes, or used to knows the “just let me have ten minutes of quiet pleasure” that is represented in a smkoe break. Nic will now sit on porch and stare at me. Mock me. Tslk like that lady on the commercial with the hole in her neck. Worst of all, he’s deaf in one ear, caused by endless ear infections from being around smoke. He pulls this reminder out as a last resort.

It is an addiction. Some say worse than herion. Others can just quit. I fall somewhere in between with my love for it. Hate the way it smells, makes me smell, the cost, and what it does to kill my energy. But 10 minutes to myself… that is the draw. If you’re out there and looking for a virtual support, lets do it together. August 15th is my day. You would think losing both grandmothers - one to a stroke and the effects of COPD and one to non-small lung cancer would keep me from firing up. I am finding that I struggle with the “thought” of dying occassionally, and the agonizing “missing out” of quitting daily. I have to marry the two, as death means missing out as well. I am gearing mentally for the change…. I think I shall mourn the loss… but celebrate the life I give back to myself when I do. 9 day count down. Who’s in?

 

testing July 31, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 2:39 pm

For some reason my last post was all wonky. I cut and pasted from another program and it must have picked up some crazy formatting. Figured I’d get back on and see if it was normal.

House is picked up and partially clean. I have no access to silence. Video games and hunting show in the back ground. Two of the kids asleep in my bed. So I blog from my cluttered desk with sweaty elbows that are getting progressively stickier as the thunder clouds clear and the 90 degree sun peaks out. My electric bill is going to reflect my unending attempts to cool off..

Hubby and I are heading to Laughlin to float the regatta on August 13th. There’s a ton of stuff to do both at home and work before I take the ONE day off I will take to leave early for that weekend. I am looking forward to some down time. a little gambling, a lot of buffet food and watered down drinks! Going to take the next couple of weeks here to get through and gear up so that Monday, August 15th can be a fresh start.

Off to clean this desk, sort my coupons, and get my bills scheduled. I’ll be back later blog land. Until then…..

 

This one’s for Sistah Pat July 30, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 9:06 pm

Ahhhh… the

notorious return to the “I should be thin and healthy by now” blog. I

peeked in last night, drawn to something old and familiar to get me tuned in

again. Found myself catching up on Pat’s blog and realized I needed to come

back home… for some virtual therapy. Patty - I’m here.

I weigh

203ish - still, some more, again. I just put a pair of gianormous underwear on.

They are black, and have glow in the dark letters across the tush that say

“I’m with the band”. Don’t ask. Anyway…. they used to be cute, and

my cheeks used to slighty peek from the bottom. Now… they are expanded. Glow

lettering tattered and cracked like a bad paint job and cute little message now

reads like a friggin graffitied bill board placed over the whaling operation

that is my ass. My 40 year old ass.

Still, there

is something about sitting here with a pinch of quiet and a head full of “I

think I can do this” that serves as a high

point in my day. 

I will begin – as I have so many times before – by rereading my

posts.  Try to hear myself, screaming to

commit to me rather than letting all other parts of life come first.  I am truly blessed in so many ways, but

ignoring my issues (smoking, no exercise, minimal sleep, poor diet) are not

helping me enjoy those blessings.  I’m

off to laugh and cry while reliving my past entries.  Hope tonight finds a little resolve and

foundation to leap from!  Nite world.

 

Rainy day contemplation… March 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 4:48 pm

So I’m sitting here freezin my hiney off and realizing that I am my own worst motivator.  I weighed in at 201.2 this morning. I spent a day at the end of February setting up a managable plan that I was fired up to commit to and even made myself a poster board of how and when I would be taking steps towards progress.  Today I am fatter and less motivated than I have been all month.  BUT, I am going to participate in the April Showers challenge on didi’s page whole-hearted. I have 106 days left until I turn 40 and I can’t waste any more time.

Last night we watched the UFC fights at our house with friends.  Lots of beer, TONS of food, and I am paying for both today.  I am fighting the sleep monster who has been creeping around the house, peeking at me from various corners of rooms, waiting for my carb coma to kick in.  It has already attacked my husband who is rhythmically snoring from his “command center” right now.  The weather doesn’t help (spoiled California girl).  I swear my blood turns into molassas as soon as the temperature dips below 70.  I am looking forward to down time tonight.  Its actually starting now, I guess.  The only one with any energy is the dog. Go figure.

My head is trudging through my “to-do” list and already prepping work for tomorrow.  I wish I could turn it off.  My posts used to be funny (okay sarcastic) full of “me’, and fun for me to go back and read to gain insight.  Lately I am just blah. Overwhelmed.  My work/life balance blows.  I am so worried about being and doing the best I can in my new position, that I am working in my head 24/7. Not to mention current furloughs have me getting paid for 36 hours a week while I work close to 60.  It’s freaking constant.  I need a vacation, but am afraid to miss anything. Things are so volitale right now it just makes me sick.  And I wonder why I can’t my groove back.  

So gotta pull my self up by the boot straps. I went shopping for a new suit today and was so discouraged that I ended up with a few new tops to try to liven up my stuffy wardrobe.  I prefer boxer shorts and tshirts but am forced to conform to business suits and uncomfortable shoes.  If I could drop 10 lbs, I’d already have a whole new closet to pick from.  If I would 20, I have another dozen items to pull back into rotation.  So how do I get there? I don’t suppose eating twice baked potatoes is on that game plan.  Must fight urge to reheat party food!

Okay, March 20th, huh?  Today is the start.  Gonna go check in on what I did get in for the challenge and just take it a day at a time.  Would love to shed 20 lbs by May 15th. 30 by my birthday ( July 4th).  So need to pay attention to food this week, choices and portions and times.  Get my water in. Get my vitamins down.  And start that friggin detox I bought 2 months ago.  God help me.

 

I should be in bed… January 23, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 9:43 pm

but I am allllll over the place in my head about work, money, food, smoking, which “super top secret” info-mercial to buy into.  I have browsed threads in 3fc, tried to find my “stick” to it factor and I have realized that I am just a mess.   I need structure.  I need to not think about work so much. I just need a switch I can flip to check out.

I did get outta the house this weekend and went to a bull riding event with mom and stepdad. Spent the night at their place and genuinely had a good time.  Then got back here to hubby had a little down time together which was nice, and then found myself getting agrivated or at least disenchanted with football, beer, the FIL, facebook… at all of it for no real reason.  Mostly, found myself getting overwhelmed about work tomorrow and its not even here yet.  Is this really what being a grown up is cracked up to be?  Ugh.  I need a shot in the arm of motivation, and a 3 hour massage. Guess I’ll head for bed and try to rest up to an energetic and progress making day tomorrow.  Where’s my advil…..

 

one down, forever to go January 2, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 7:16 am

ahhhh.  I made it out of bed in time to steal some quiet before the kids are up.  I have coffee brewing and got through my first full day of cold turkey no smoking.  It wasn’t that bad. There were DEFINITELY moments and I not so nieve to think I’m out of the clear.  I just know I got one down.

183 days (26weeks +1 day) until the 40th. I was thinking one habit a week would be put in place and was going to include “exercise” type stuff to sneak up on it.  Now I am thinking my habits should be anything but the exercise part, as it need to get going faster. So I will do 15minutes of some type of exercise today.  My habits for January will be:

  • Jan1thru 7 vitamins/food journal
  • Jan 8 thru 14  64 4oz water minimum
  • Jan 15 thru 21 In bed by 9:30
  • Jan 22 thru 28  Me Time 15 minutes a day!

I am no longer paying for the gym, although I should be.  Lost my ATM card that the dues were tied to automatically deduct from my account.  When I had the card replaced, the number was different.  I haven’t been to the gym in 3 months so I’m sure they just think I flaked.  I gues I should let them know.   In an effort to save money I will not renew. I have a treadmill, eleventy billion NEW workout tapes, and a gaggle of weights, bands, balls and whatnots to “sculpt the perfect body”. Ahem.

On another note, I am fully stressed out about our finances.  We spent too much, no secret, so we have a plan to get that under control. However, the home business has got to get its footing again because I cannot continue to subsidize it with money from job.  I love my husband, but something has to give.  I am trying not to let it get into a frenzy, and I trust the Lord will walk us through it.  I just hope I can keep my mouth shut and my sharp tongue to myself as we traverse what is certain to be a tight 3 to 4 months.  Fortunately, my job has changed and in doing so has kicked up the profit with potential for the ole salary to go up even more.  On the down side, I don’t realize the spoils of my hard earned cash cuz I’m busy carrying everyone else with it.   Okay, there…. I said it.  My apologies.

Alright, I’m off to take the strand of Christmas lights I forgot about down.  Hoping hubby’s request to go to church plays out today.  I need something positive shot back into my brain.

Its day 183 you know.  They are getting fewer every morning!

3:00pm update = I have created a chore list that puts my hubby on a 15 minute chore in reach room of our house monday through friday (except for the room I will be in). I am spending my 15 min daily in one room for a week - following the flylady program again.  Trying to keep myself occupied has been a test of my nerves, and may result in a ton of lists and over analyzed projects.   And constant gum chewing.

7:50ish pm… creeping up on 8pm which means 48 hours no smoking…. 2/3 of the way through the dreaded 3 day withdrawl.  I am exhausted. Ate everything I could think of before suddenly becoming a responsible person about my weight tomorrow.  The fact that I have not folded and went out for a pack of smokes is a huge victory alone though.  Tomorrow will be tough.  Monday back at work with a gaggle of projects on my plate, some due months ago.  But I will survive.  Off to get a full nights sleep…… nighter blogland.

 

2011 is here….. January 1, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 8:27 am

I do believe I’ll be kicking its ass. Only 8.5 hours in… but I’m on the right track!

2:12pm…. oye… haven’t smoked, but eating like a mad woman.  Will go do some chores to stay busy and be back later.

 

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