Rainy day contemplation… March 20, 2011
So I’m sitting here freezin my hiney off and realizing that I am my own worst motivator. I weighed in at 201.2 this morning. I spent a day at the end of February setting up a managable plan that I was fired up to commit to and even made myself a poster board of how and when I would be taking steps towards progress. Today I am fatter and less motivated than I have been all month. BUT, I am going to participate in the April Showers challenge on didi’s page whole-hearted. I have 106 days left until I turn 40 and I can’t waste any more time.
Last night we watched the UFC fights at our house with friends. Lots of beer, TONS of food, and I am paying for both today. I am fighting the sleep monster who has been creeping around the house, peeking at me from various corners of rooms, waiting for my carb coma to kick in. It has already attacked my husband who is rhythmically snoring from his “command center” right now. The weather doesn’t help (spoiled California girl). I swear my blood turns into molassas as soon as the temperature dips below 70. I am looking forward to down time tonight. Its actually starting now, I guess. The only one with any energy is the dog. Go figure.
My head is trudging through my “to-do” list and already prepping work for tomorrow. I wish I could turn it off. My posts used to be funny (okay sarcastic) full of “me’, and fun for me to go back and read to gain insight. Lately I am just blah. Overwhelmed. My work/life balance blows. I am so worried about being and doing the best I can in my new position, that I am working in my head 24/7. Not to mention current furloughs have me getting paid for 36 hours a week while I work close to 60. It’s freaking constant. I need a vacation, but am afraid to miss anything. Things are so volitale right now it just makes me sick. And I wonder why I can’t my groove back.
So gotta pull my self up by the boot straps. I went shopping for a new suit today and was so discouraged that I ended up with a few new tops to try to liven up my stuffy wardrobe. I prefer boxer shorts and tshirts but am forced to conform to business suits and uncomfortable shoes. If I could drop 10 lbs, I’d already have a whole new closet to pick from. If I would 20, I have another dozen items to pull back into rotation. So how do I get there? I don’t suppose eating twice baked potatoes is on that game plan. Must fight urge to reheat party food!
Okay, March 20th, huh? Today is the start. Gonna go check in on what I did get in for the challenge and just take it a day at a time. Would love to shed 20 lbs by May 15th. 30 by my birthday ( July 4th). So need to pay attention to food this week, choices and portions and times. Get my water in. Get my vitamins down. And start that friggin detox I bought 2 months ago. God help me.