Teach a girl to fish…

and she’ll eat ‘em all fried… part duex.

Up in smoke…. December 31, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 8:46 pm

So I had my LAST cigarette about an hour ago.  I miss it already, even though it pisses me off that small paper tube full of rat poison has the power to make me dress up like the Michelin man to stand out on my porch in freezing temperatures to draw in its wicked potion of smoke.  Hubby is done too (we’ll see how that goes).  I can’t let him be my excuse, or weak link.  Its time to grow up…. plus I may still have enough years left to not have my lips looking like a second butthole by the time I’m 50.  Instead I’ll sport cold sores from stress and wear them proudly!

I just updated my goals, not from last year, but from 2009.  Somewhere 2010 absolutely skipped my calendar.  I am feeling like this is it.  No more gambling with my health. I’m all in, and ready to call. We’ll almost. The thought of the dreadmill makes my feet hurt just looking at it. My carpeted floor makes for a treacherous turf when trying to manuver through Jillian Michaels workouts.  And the thought of getting up any earlier is only slightly less painful then thinking I have to exercise after work.  Yep, I’m pumped. But I am going to win this year! Watch me!

Off to get my first month or two of weekly habits lined out.  Crap… what day is it?  185 - shat!  I wish I weighed 185.  Okay, well - I will - right? I mean this is simply a one day at a time thing (you might try starting one Kris!) and I can do it.  Gonna sneak up on it and get it right this year.  Wishing you all the best, and a blessed New Year.  Here’s to a healthier one!

 

A gift for myself December 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 4:57 pm

191 days until 40th.  Today is Christmas. Decided to give myself the gift of a little time to evaluate how to get my butt in gear and pull some pieces of my life back together.  I let the days run me lately, I don’t get to manage my time, I only react.  The fact that I have been majorly ill twice in the last 6 weeks is a huge red flag that I need to change.  So 3, no 4 elements that need addressing House Work, Work Work, Finances, Fun.  I have too much of the first 3 taking up my time, stressing me out.  And fun, nothing feels fun anymore. Everything feels like work.  Christmas felt like an appointment. Here at 1, there at 330, here at 645, there at 7, up at 5, kids home at 9.  Oye.  No wonder the last 24 hours have been exhausting.  Add me sick, hubby sick, and less that 4 hours sleep. Recipe for a blast, right? uh huh.

Okay - so Item 1 - House Work.  I need help.  I work long days. I am not the only one who lives here, full time or part time.  I am going to put a chore list together. I know it seems juevenile, but I think that if both hubby and I have one or two little chores a night/day that we do, then the house will come together. It may be slowly, but it will happen.  I am going to count on flylady.com to help.

Item 2 - Work work- I have a new job. Its interim now.  Its a ton of responsibility, and a paycheck that reflects that level of responsibility. The $ is very helpful, the extra stress is almost unmanagable.  I need to delegate some work.  I need to get my supervisors on the same page in terms of how they manage discipline in their divisions. I need to learn that I am not the one that needs to find the solutions to their problems, they need to come to me with solutions. One day at a time.  I need to plan down time to think and schedule.  I say ”yeah, I’ve got a minute” way too often.  I need to let other people handle their stuff.

Finances - ugh… this should be the easy one. Quit charging. Save first, manage the rest. Pick one system to budget.  I currently have a spread sheet, quicken, and…. oh I’m sure theres another one.  So committing to one by Jan 1st. Probably the spreadsheet.

Fun - -I miss fishing.  I can’t relax unless the house is at least presentable.  I am hardpressed to leave for a vacation if I know I am coming back to a dirty house.  I want the end of my vacation to be a vacation too. I also need to put priority on the “fun” part of life.  I tend to work now play later, and it turns into work now and then work some more.  I know I have to get a handle on this to keep my marriage strong, and to make time for me to get healthy - or even relax.  I know I need to get a handle on this to keep my sanity.  I am actually really looking forward to getting some down time outside of my house.  Gonna start maybe by planning some trips.  Then will worry about scheduling work around it.  Will start saving for it, and be sure that the house work doesnt make me deviate from enjoying it.

I think I’m off to plan January.  Baby steps, but determined steps.  2011 will bring new life….. much needed new life.  And maybe more than fit at 40, I will be fullfilled at 40.  

Off to explore some options - looking forward to pulling it together.

Merry Christmas

   

 

Proud on 210 December 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 8:26 pm

Well, I did it. Or didnt do it. I didnt smoke today.  I started out patched up, stayed patched up, and will pull the clear stinky panel of nicotine giving goodness off my arm just before bed. It wasn’t fun. I miss smoking (Hi, its only day one) but I know that in 2 weeks it will be better and in a month it will be old news.  Not that I won’t crave them and curse those around me who still smoke, but I will try to remember that quitting is all about me, done by me, and benefitting more than me. 

The dishes being done were a promise made that didn’t transpire.  Nothing major, just keep hoping some day it will promise and will happen.   In the mean time, I have been good about keepingn up with flylady.com missions.  My house is vacuumed, and I can sleep soundly tonight knowing I kept some promises to myself.  Tomorrow is a nother day to continue to be victorious towards my fit at 40 goal.  Not giving up. Not giving in. 

 

211 days to 40/10 seconds to 5150 December 5, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — fatnomo @ 2:42 pm

Almost 100 days since I was last here. I can’t freaking hear myself think, ever.  My house is a den of noise. My new job is a friggin circus ring and everyone wants to be the Ring Master.  My finances are better than ever and hubby’s, not so much, which means my new better income just compensates for the lack of wages on every other front.   I am tired, and am taking my life back right now.  This is destined to be a bitch session, but I gotta get it out.   Like purging before desert (but I’m never one to give back a meal!).

I am hard pressed to understand how my stepkids are glued to my ass while hubby sits around and watches football.  I am in desperate need of alone time which I can’t seem to get. Ever. Next weekend I may boycott all responsibility and just lay around. If the laundry finds a way to wash itself, so be it.  I wish I could pin point the frustration that creeps up in me now so much more frequently than it used to.  If I don’t soon, I may find myself in my car driving anywhere but here.  I guess I’m a little stressed, about it all… work, home, money, weight, smoking (or quitting), and the lack of overall help. So…. I gotta get focused…. 40 is sneaking up. I have missed my daily blog time to help keep me sane, but today is a new day.  I will be here, come hell or high water.

Tomorrow Laura and I quit smoking.  I am also taking on a new healthy habit a week to get myself feeling better, and to be in my best shape by 40.  The habit for 12/6/10 through 12/12/10 is to get the daily vitamins in me.   Two victories that have everything to do with me.  I ‘ll be back tomorrow with a full report of the day, and hopefully a better attitude. Bring it on 40.