Teach a girl to fish…

fatsomemore.  Fatnomo is hardy how my life has been going.  I am out of control.  I ate everything I could this weekend and then more when no one was looking.  I feel like you would  expect that I feel; bloated, uncomfortable, tired, achy, and genuinely overweight.  I bore myself saying “I’ll start tomorrow” and then diving into the first plate of mexican food offered to me.   But I suppose I will start tomorrow.  I have some fish cooked. Gonna go steam some rice.  I have a huge salad made already. Watermelon cut up.  So why the ice cream and chocolate cupcakes?  Why… because they are here.  It was a kid weekend.  We kinda inadvertantly celebrated the coming of the school year and mourned the end of summer.   But theres never really a season that stops when you grow up, is there? There’s never a hey its the first day of “Kris” you know, days when you can count on the thighs to shrink, and the stomach to flatten, and the floppy wing things that have developed between your elbows and armpits to disappear.   When is my season? And not even just for health… what about a quiet week to read a whole book?  How about one whole paycheck to myself, or a perfectly clean house, 1 month.   When does that season start?   I know its up to me.  I know I get the same 24 hours as everyone else. But my mind doesnt stop, ever.  My body can do anything because my mind thinks I am constantly exhausted.  Mind over matter may have worked years ago, but now….. it just all I can do to get up in the morning, go to work, be productive, and come home.  I want more out of me.   I need to find ways to turn those moments into me moments I guess…. ugh… I am rambling. I am going to shower and going to bed for a full 8 hours sleep.   Good night blog land.