Teach a girl to fish…

Okay that second one worked, the 3rd time I read it!  Things never slow down do they?  Tomorrow is Monday. Tomorrow is my new day.  I have to get back in the game.  Talk of marriage is in the air.  NO FORMAL PROPOAL, but we are looking at early June of 2010.  I HAVE GOT TO START NOW!

Found what looks to be a great little exercise routine in a fitness mag. I think I will start it tomorrow. Tonight I am going to reread my blog, regroup, and get myself mentally equiped to change my world.

Boblian is at the ER right now with youngest stepson.  He hurt (broke?) his arm messing around on my exercise ball just minutes before we were leaving  to drop all the kids off.  So I ended up with a quite house, that’s clean suprising, and the perfect setting to get myself motivated.  May start a new tab on my blog, who knows!

Alrightly. Gonna go check a few things out. Will be back later!

fatsomemore.  Fatnomo is hardy how my life has been going.  I am out of control.  I ate everything I could this weekend and then more when no one was looking.  I feel like you would  expect that I feel; bloated, uncomfortable, tired, achy, and genuinely overweight.  I bore myself saying “I’ll start tomorrow” and then diving into the first plate of mexican food offered to me.   But I suppose I will start tomorrow.  I have some fish cooked. Gonna go steam some rice.  I have a huge salad made already. Watermelon cut up.  So why the ice cream and chocolate cupcakes?  Why… because they are here.  It was a kid weekend.  We kinda inadvertantly celebrated the coming of the school year and mourned the end of summer.   But theres never really a season that stops when you grow up, is there? There’s never a hey its the first day of “Kris” you know, days when you can count on the thighs to shrink, and the stomach to flatten, and the floppy wing things that have developed between your elbows and armpits to disappear.   When is my season? And not even just for health… what about a quiet week to read a whole book?  How about one whole paycheck to myself, or a perfectly clean house, 1 month.   When does that season start?   I know its up to me.  I know I get the same 24 hours as everyone else. But my mind doesnt stop, ever.  My body can do anything because my mind thinks I am constantly exhausted.  Mind over matter may have worked years ago, but now….. it just all I can do to get up in the morning, go to work, be productive, and come home.  I want more out of me.   I need to find ways to turn those moments into me moments I guess…. ugh… I am rambling. I am going to shower and going to bed for a full 8 hours sleep.   Good night blog land.

Okay, so I promised I would do it. I have “been” here everyday, I just haven’t posted every day.  I am making a tiny bit of progress, but nothing to write home aboutyet.  This weeks wight so far….

M = 210   T=211  W=209.8  TH=209.4

Don’t even ask me how in Hades I got back over 210.  Its ridiculous bouts of stress and throwing caution to the wind… sadly… I dont even remember what I ate. I know it was a lot. But you would think to climb 15 lbs from my low weight this year would be just self inflicted pudge chasing.  I don’t get it.  My energy sucks, my feet, hurt, I have constant indigestion….  yet I slurp down cup o noodles as I type.  Good one moron

But, I did prep good eats for tonight.  I avoided Taco Bell yesterday but then Devil man Boblian made me go to Farmer Boy and I got a milk shake.  One day at a time huh?

Oh… and I started drinking water again.  Ok better than a week ago, but gotta keep building up steam.  I need to be walking the dog, doing some push ups, and working my pillow soft abs.  Tonight I must do one of the three (at minimum) will report back!

Totally blew off my July journaling assignment. What the fluff?  I am on hold at the moment with the water company. Huge wild fire burned my entire property. House and barn were saved, however 4 fire truck being kept full by my garden hoses is going to play hell on my bill.   Not complaining, just thinking out loud.

Weighed in at my highest in 3 years today. 210 big ones.  This is not good.  I have eaten like I have the room to gain the weight.  My knees sound like pop rocks when I walk upstairs. I get winded just trying to hold my stomach in, and if I could get otter pops intravenously right now… I probably would.  Need to change my directions. SO…..

THE NEXT 5 MONTHS (AUG, SEPT, OCT, NOV, DEC>… YEP THAT’S 5) I WILL BE HERE.  I WILL DONE SOMETHING EVERY DAY TO MOVE TOWARDS HEALTH. 30 DAYS OF HABIT FORMING GOOD FOR ME THINGS.  TODAY I HAVE BLOGGED.  NOW DAILY… I WILL ADD TO IT AND STICK WITH IT.

So, on one of the threads I follow I posted about my current job prospecting and how if I can get my foot in the door, I can prove my work ethic.  I remember feeling like my work life is the only place I can prove myself.  What about my work ethic on “me” assignments.  Where the heck is that at?  And the work ethic on the get outta debt assignments?  Ugh Charlie Brown!   I need, yet another, regroup.  To though, I blogged!  Score 1 for me.