Teach a girl to fish…

It’s been, I don’t know, 6 months or better since I’ve been here. Heck, maybe longer, but its time to have this place to share again, with others, or even just myself. I see my sign on still works, but had to recreate my blog. Should kept going and I wouldn’t be here babbling right now trying to figure out how to start again Love the forum, just needed to spill in more detail so I could go back and laugh and cry and whatever. So starting with the facts:

37 years old, great live in BF of almost 2 years, 1 DS (19), 3 step (kinda) kids (9,7,4).

Quit smoking 9/22/08. 199lbs last WI (11/14/08). 201.4 3 minutes ago. Haven’t lived in the 180s for at least 2 years. Haven’t lived at a healthy weight in closer to 7 years. Gotta pull my head out. All of the tell tale signs of “crossing my fat threshold are back; hip and arms going numb at night, acid reflux is back, pee when I sneeze (I hate that one), up twice a night to pee (Hate that too but at least I’m even drinking water), and the number on the scale is a gamble lately… moving in the wrong direction.

Weigh in for the last year has been uneventful and sadly, undisturbing, as I knew what to expect.. 19something. But lately, its a gamble. Will it start with a 2? Will it start with a 1? Will it start with a 2? Will it start with a 1? I am playing with fire… and I’m tired. so…

I am enjoying a cold beer, blogging for the last day that the number will start with a 2. Well… it may tomorrow because o’ the beer, but the next day for surely will be better. Right? Ughh….

’so why the beer you whining wanna be skinny self sabotaging virtual girl?’ you might ask… VERITAS. Latin for “truth”. In greek mythology is the goddess of truth. To romans, it is a virtue. Tonight, to me, it is the words that create the moster tatoo that my 19 years son showed up with. Tatooed on his side from his armpit down his rib cage to his hip bone. This is the 6′3″, 230lb kid who is scared of getting stung by a bee. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Nope thats the truth…. VERITAS. It doesn’t look bad. It cant be seen unless shirtless, and at least its not a naked girl riding a beer can. I am still in disbelief…. just one of those mom moments that never cross your mind and then suddenly its in your face. Cheers

So while we are the theme of truths, here are some of mine that I like ignore and that have probably contributed to my “gluteus gigante” thats my latin for giant ass.

1. I love (almost romantically…) to plan, and not do - which equals “I can tell you exactly how much I should weigh the 12th of Never if I lose 2.3 lbs per week for 4 weeks and then 1 lb per week for 4 weeks and what my BMI will be on every odd day of every 3rd week and so on.” and also makes me a fantastic management employee

2. I will always cave to fast food, or homemade carbs.

3. I have an extensive wardrobe of expensive clothes that should be fine for sizes 16 down to 8 but haven’t seen the 12’s, 10’s, or 8’s that live in the storage containers under my bed for 4 years. The 14’s that have buttons where the thread has streched almost 1/2 inch off course get some attention on my skinny days. Translated - I continue to by more and more size 16 stuff.

4. I hate exercise. It hates me. We have a mutual relationship.

I think you get the picture. I want to be healthy. I don’t want to have to exert any energy to get there. None. not one minute. Items 1 through 4 are plan A, and its not working too well (although I can say I have worked the plan consistently for at least 8 months).

So its time for a plan B. Gonna keep it simple to start.

1. log what I eat daily, here, for the next 30 days

2. Weigh in daily for the next 30 days, weekly after that

3. Exercise 3X week at least 30 minutes. Get through first 3 weeks of that - reassess on 12/6/08.

There it is. Hope it will be a lot more successful than plan A. Looking forward to signing on again tomorrow and cringing at what I have committed to. Night world.