Teach a girl to fish…

Ugh…  I ate stellar…. 10 of 14 days.  Last night got a little CRAZY with my “celebration” food.  It all started with Friday’s need to go find a dress for my pending courthouse wedding (Hey Kris, you’re getting married in 11 days).  I went to the mall that has existed for 20 years but I have only ever visited 2x previously. Why, because I never find crap there.  Cater to a whole other crowd and what to my wandering wallet should appear? Nothing. Crap. Zilch. NADA.  So a quick stop by McDonalds for a grilled chicken sandwich resulted in the consumption of mayo on my sammy and 15 french fries as a chaser….. Bad joojoo.

Saturday I knew we were 1) watching the world series, 2) celebrating a decision to wed, 3) celebrating Boblains birthday early.  5 pieces of pizza, one bread stick. 1/2 a beer and 1 LG bowl of antipasto salad later, I had broken every rule I had followed the previous 2 weeks.  A cheater weigh in resulted in 197lb and some change.  This morning, 198.8.   So I lost 10lbs in October (Go me!) but only .6 or so the last week.  Rocket science… I dont think so Tim.

Today, I have a dress, a ring for my man, an unending desire to snooze and my dread for going back to work tomorrow is creating a psychosymatic illness that has me trying to recall the sick line number and tomorrow is not even here yet.  Our business (my other job) needs paperwork attention and I am desperate to have it be done with little or no effort.  Where did I put that 3 wish genie????  Where…. oh where….

So I should be walking the dog, or reconciling bank statements.  Instead I dream of one more day off and that last piece of pizza I have to keep pushing out of my way in the fridge to get to my salad.  Boo hiss!  Gonna see if my “fall back” attitude can be shaken, but I am not even at wiggle it off status.  Maybe time to lay in bed…. and think about it.  After all its only 440pm but I can already see the moon!

Woot!  5days POP food wise.  3rd bootcamp class of the week tonight! Boblian comes home tonight! and I weighed in for the 2nd day at 199!  Ahhhhhhhhh I hope I have ditched the 200’s for good.  I have… I just know it!  Gotta go drink a shake and get to class!  Woot

I  have decided that I will be totally on point the next 5 weeks with what is “suggested” as my food plan by the bootcamp girls. They are thin and healthy and if they eat it then I will too! 

I had a cup of coffee - now I usually drink coffee daily and how much depends on the temperature. I drink until it hits 76 lovely degrees outside. Sometimes that means 1 cup (mid summer) sometime 8 cups ( January = all day)  but, I did my 1 cup today and used Truvia instead of Splenda, and I survived. Then I pulled off breakfast this morning, a less than enticing scramble of egg whites and zucchini with a piece of toast with mashed up avocado on it.  It went down without much of fight.  Then came the vitamins.  Liquid was the key word according to nutrition  girl (absorb faster, better, different) so I got some that desolve in a bottleof water (about as liquid as I could find).  The overly berry smell, the funny fiz, and the sweet sweet taste after my ultra bland breakfast was about all I could take.  I tried to break it up by drinking hot Green Tea - another blessed beverage - but it sucked too! No to mention, I started the colon cleanse and my stomach is really extra super pissed at me now and I had to get myself home to do my “business” for fear of being heard in the girls room.  But I made it home, stomach boiling, and survived. 

Ate lunch - fish tacos (homemade - no yummy sauce just tortilla, fish and salsa. Also ate a salad with balsamic vinager and olive oil dressing.  I currently smell like an easter egg. Thinking I may have to brush my teeth again today soon.

I am committed to this thing dang it! Even if I spend 80% if my time testing and trying out, I am gonna stick with it and drop some lbs along the way. This has to work! 

Woot!  Weighed in this morning at 202.6!  Thats 7 lbs down from the beginning of September. 3 of them in the last week.  Funny what happens when you exercise and push yourself a little!

Bootcamp is beautiful torture.  I am not the biggest girl there, but I am the weakest, the slowest runner, and probably still the  most scared of that feeling that comes when my body wants to quit.  Much like on the biggest loser, you just have to block it out and remember its okay to be tired, sore and still do 8 more reps. You find it in yourself.

Heres the envelope I opened today

So my envelope had my reward of a subscription to a health magazine. Perfect! I am going to get that done today!  So looking forward to the next one!  Off to shop for my planned food for the next week. House is still quiet with Boblian gone and I hope to enjoy it a  little this evening!

My girlfriend who has been doing the camp FOREVER was in my face and a ton of encouragement tonight.  It was a huge help.   Kelli - the trainer- says WE are on a mission to get me healthy and that I rocked it tonight.  Sure the soreness will keep up and thats okay. I have my goal set on getting me one of the tanks tops that says “My bootcamp is better than your bootcamp” but I want to rock the arms when I get it. So one day at a time. Headed for shower and bed to let my body heal.  Off on Friday and looking forward to catch up with you girls!  Thanks for encouraging comments, and BE GOOD to yourselves!  You deserve it!

been back to finish posting for good reason.  Bootcamp is kicking my butt.  Days go something like this right now:

• 5am wake up
• 6am at work
• 11:30 home for lunch, let dog out
• 12:30 back to work
• 4pm off work & home to let dog out, get snack and ready for ….
• 6pm Bootcamp
• 7:30 get home
• 8:00 showered & fed - short computer time
• 9pm ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I didn’t even get through TBL last night only 1/2 way.

Will try to get back here today and get my self check list done!

Go me!

It’s cloudy here. Mostly quiet. Time for me to get my poop in group. Future hubby just left for deerhunting in Idaho - I have anywhere from 1 to 2 weeks to myself. A little scary, but and good time for me to get focused. Maybe by the time he’s back, my routine will be engrained enough to have it just feel like normal!

Here’s todays plan:

1. Shower, breakfast, get to mall for new work out clothes.  DONE
2. Back home - pull out all my “this will motivate me” stuff (pics, rewards, journals, whatever) and review.
3. Blog - set up a system of checking in, checking off, and keeping myself on track
4. 6pm BOOTCAMP - 1st night - 6 weeks - paying hard earned money to get a hard body (or at least a less wiggly one)
5. Dinner
6. Blog/Thread check in
7. 8 hours of sleep.

So… I need to get off this darn computer and get moving even though I feel like I could sit here for an hour and pour stuff out to get back to having a “mind like water”.  Oh well.  Inaction got me to this weight. I’m off to change that right now!

Well, yesterday was a but but I did get this much typed out and should have posted it here last night.

I want to open my 5lb envelope. Just the 5lbs. I am dying to weigh in in onederland. Its October and I have been obsessed with the food and weight thing and nothing has changed in 10 months. I actually gained 8 pounds. Poop!

I want to FINISH something ~ anything. I want to start everything ~ Bootcamp, painting a room, organizing my office, cleaning the barn out. I’m just overwhelmed with thoughts!!

I started Flylady again. I have shined my sink fo r2 days in a row and even moved my refrigerator and vacuumed the coils and mopped the floor. Going to track my days with a shiny sink. OH and, laundry is caught up. Start load in morning, finish at lunch. Is working fantastically!

Really want to start on Christmas gift making. Hoping I can think of practical things to make this year!

Getting my hair cut today. Really wanted color too, but no time. So color is in a couple weeks.

This excerpt from my Aug 16 entry still encompasses that anxiety and frustration I am feeling about no me time….. “We kinda inadvertantly celebrated the coming of the school year and mourned the end of summer.   But theres never really a season that stops when you grow up, is there? There’s never a hey its the first day of “Kris” you know, days when you can count on the thighs to shrink, and the stomach to flatten, and the floppy wing things that have developed between your elbows and armpits to disappear.   When is my season? And not even just for health… what about a quiet week to read a whole book?  How about one whole paycheck to myself, or a perfectly clean house, 1 month.   When does that season start?   I know its up to me.  I know I get the same 24 hours as everyone else. But my mind doesnt stop, ever.  My body can do anything because my mind thinks I am constantly exhausted.  Mind over matter may have worked years ago, but now….. it just all I can do to get up in the morning, go to work, be productive, and come home.  I want more out of me. “

I did get to cut coupons, call mom - son - and bff last night and watch 2 episodes of Ally McBeal (I LOVED THAT SHOW AND THEY FINALLY RELEASED THE 1ST SEASON ON DVD!  WOOT!

Gonna get my work done today and maybe? have time to get back here before the kids show up tonight!

ROUND - thanks for comment.  Mind like water is absolutely what I am after!

Note to self - blog today or else!  You know your head needs to be emptied and this is a great spot for it.  You are at work, but go open a blank document and pop on to it to clear out that to-do list, craft craving, sleep deprived, thought hoarding brain of yours.  I’ll see you back here tonight to cut and paste and review!!!!

Today’s stuff:

1. Clean house and laundry 8:30 to 10:30

2. Shower and off to mall for tennis shoes and maybe a sundress

3. Back by 1 pm for paperwork/file clean out

4. Get in walk with dog and exercise ball workout from Fitness mag

I have been smoking all weekend ~ no mass today!  I am feeling like crap and I could fall back into it in a hurry.  I ate 1egg & 2whites, and 2 pieces of toast for breakfast.  Need to grocery shop.  Gotta stay focused.  Off to start my list.  Committed to daily blogging simply to keep my brain from wadding up.  Summer 2010 here I come!