Tracking to Goal

There’s my tracker!  Finally out of the 230’s!  And I am not looking back.  I have a goal.  I get to start trying for a baby in 40 more pounds, and I want it…I want it BAAAD!  Of course, I’ll still keep losing until I’m successful in my babymaking ventures.   And then there’s the whole what to do while pregnant to keep post pregnancy weight as low as possible without endangering baby.  But that’s a ways off.  At least four months, probably five or six.  I’m okay with that, though part of me wants to press the ff button.  (Fast forward, not fat free…oh wait, either button would make me happy!)  Heh.

Off to make tofu stuffed peppers.  More later.  Hopefully A more organized post.  🙂

Posted by eumie on July 30th, 2009 under Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

How to Cheat Without the Guilt

Last night was date night.  I was very excited and when we arrived at the destination, I found that I was right to be so excited.  My favorite type of cuisine in the world is Thai, and that is what my husband gave to me for date night.

I had already planned on cheating, but thoughts of pad thai ran rampant through my kid-in-a-candy-store mind.  Once I had glanced at the menu, however, I decided that pad thai was too much of a cheat and I would not get to enjoy any of my other favorites.
Here’s what we had.  We got two appetizers– chicken satay and spring rolls.  They were very small spring rolls, and I had 4 to hubby’s 2.  I had one skewer of the satay to his three.  And then I had (cue triumphant music) Royal Duck!

Yes, duck is fatty for a poultry, and I could have made a better choice.  But it was date night, and I know how to cheat.


By planning.

It really is that simple.

I knew I was going to cheat, and had the possibility of cheating pad thai big, so I ate at the very low end of my calorie range on Friday and did 75 minutes of cardio instead of 60.  I did cardio on Saturday for a half hour, though that’s usually one of my two off days.  I ate a light breakfast and lunch on Saturday, and did the same thing today that I did on Sunday.

Will I see a gain?  Maybe.  Probably not.  One day rarely derails me totally (unless it’s one of those chunky monkey and pizza binge days that I had back in my college years), especially if I plan for the excess.  THAT’S as much a lifestyle change as knowing how to choose the healthiest thing on the menu, in my opinion.

I have no guilt.  I enjoyed my duck, satay, and spring rolls.  But I have no guilt for enjoying it because I know that the next time I cheat that big is not going to be tomorrow or the next day or the next.   I have no guilt because I know that this is not about never indulging, but about not indulging every day or even every week.  And I have no guilt because I indulged smartly rather than going off plan when I hadn’t intended to.

Because every once in a while, a girl just has to have a little duck…

Posted by eumie on July 26th, 2009 under Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

More to Love and Other Cliches of the Fat Girl World

I watched So You Think You Can Dance last night because a friend from high school was on it dancing with Katie Holmes.  It was pretty cool, though i only caught two small glimpses of him.  During one of the commercial breaks, there was an ad for a new dating show.  It’s called–wait for it–MORE TO LOVE.  Guess what it’s about?  Just guess!

If you guessed that it had something to do with fat–excuse me, voluptuous–women, you’d be right. It’s like the Bachelor, but they’ve replaced the skinny minnies with the pleasantly plump crowd.

Now, I’ve always hated the so called reality dating competition shows.  It’s such an artificial world that they build, and it’s superficiality masked with a filmy layer of pseudo-deepness.  Within two weeks women are pledging their love for a man that they’ve gotten to spend, like, 2.5 minutes alone with.  It’s ridiculous!

But now they’ve ramped it up.  They’ve gotten a man who likes REAL women.  There’s the first cliche.  We’re all real, despite our size.  And so they’ve assembled a cast of women who have lots and lots of curves.  They’ve assembled a cast of women who have MORE TO LOVE.  CLICHE!  I’ve always hated that one almost as much as you-have-such-a-pretty-face.

The thing that makes me the most irritated is that there are women out there willing to do this.  They’re willing to make themselves look like psychotic women desperate for someone to love them.  Not to bring up another cliche, but aren’t we supposed to compensate for our fatness by being smart?  These women aren’t going to become famous from this, and most likely the chosen one will be discarded before the reunion show.  But what do you want to bet that we get told what these women weigh?  If not that, then we’ll hear about all the triple d cups gracing the screen. It’s like a carnival side show.

The network may delude themselves into thinking that they’re doing something about positive body image, but this is more about boosting ratings than boosting self-image.   And I’m not quite sure that they’re going to be able to accomplish either.
Here’s the deal.  We’re all real women.  But even real women have to face the reality of their health.  And I think there’s a big difference between broadcasting positive body image focused ads and shows, and broadcasting permission to be unhealthy. We can manage to give girls role models who aren’t borderline anorexic without going too far in the other direction.

Posted by eumie on July 24th, 2009 under Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Wayward Pants and Other Obstacles

I can’t find my workout pants.

I know I just have to dig through the piles of laundry that my dear husband washed, dried, and basketed, but it’s frustrating.

What happened?  I used to have plenty of workout wear.  I had my mesh pants (currently missing), my shorts (left at the pool one day, stupidly), my capris (big hole!), and another pair of capris (uncomfortable).  So now I’m left searching madly for the one pair of workout pants that are here in one piece and that don’t make me pick wedgies out of my tookis whilst trying to stay on a moving conveyor belt.

Today is not even 2 hours in and I feel that it will be a day of obstacles.  I can’t find my pants.  I am discouraged by the scale (more on that below).  I feel a general malaise surrounding me.  I need to fight it, but the apathy reigns supreme, at least for the moment.

So, the weight loss.  Yesterday I asked for advice on my Wed vs. Thurs weigh in, and though I got no advice, I got my answer today.  I’m sticking with Wed.  I was back up to 232.  I know that weight fluctuates from day to day, but it was discouraging nonetheless.  I think part of the discouragement was that I have a pretty lofty goal for next week, and I’d like to make it, but if I’m already a pound behind…well, you know how a fat girl’s mind works.  It’s just up to me to not make this a self-defeating mindset.  Though I may stop this weekly goal stuff if it’s going to stress me out this much.

So, now to find the wayward pants and get on that conveyor belt of masochism!  Wahoo!

Posted by eumie on July 23rd, 2009 under Uncategorized | Comment now »

No, Really. This Is Svelte!

I am writing this post while finishing up my preparations to go to the workout room at my apartment complex to brave the treadmill for the first time in five days.  The reason for this includes an uninteresting story about the flu-like symptoms of a jumping spider bite, and a day of excuse making (yesterday).  Despite this, however, I hit my goal for the week of 231.  Which brings up a funny story.

I get on the scale this morning while my husband is shaving.  I look at the scale and say “yay!.”

“Yay?” my husband asks.

“I hit my goal!” I exclaim.

His face scrunches up into one of confusion and sleep-deprivation.  “Really?  Already?”

It takes me a second to realize that he thinks that I said that I hit my GOAL goal.  I want to be my snarktastic self and spit out something along the lines of “Yeah, I’m really thin now.  If you’d squint your eyes a little you’d see it!”  Or–“This is the weight I’ve wanted to be for my whooooooole life!  Now let’s go make a baby!”

I didn’t, however.  I managed to keep my snark inside it’s kennel and explained that it was just my week’s goal.  I still think it’s funny.

Regarding my weigh in, though, I thought a little advice might be in order.  If anyone actually reads this, that is.  See, I used to weigh in on Wednesdays.  I used to be in a BL competition on Spark People and that was the day of the weigh in.  So, I just got accustomed to it, and started doing that this time around.  Last week, however, I forgot to weigh before breakfast on Wednesday and so the scale didn’t show a loss.  I weighed on Thursday and recorded my loss.  So should I take this week’s one pound loss on Wednesday or change to Thursdays and see if tomorrow exceeds my week’s goal?  I’m conflicted.

Here’s to a strong Wednesday for everybody at 3fc.

Posted by eumie on July 22nd, 2009 under Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

It’s all about the expensive frees.

Fat free, carb free, sugar free, gluten free, wheat free, taste free…

Sometimes I think people got fatter because of the diet and exercise craze of the 80’s.  All of a sudden people were eating all these “free” foods that were over-processed and under-researched.  Everything was packaged and had nice big logos that made people think that if we ate these magic products, we could be thin and svelte and gawgeous!

Of course, the fat free stuff has too much sugar, the sugar free stuff has too much fat, and on and on.

I blame Jane Fonda and her ilk, really.  But that’s irrelevant to my story and struggle.  I was just a kid in the 80’s.  A kid slowly packing on the pounds, but still a kid.

Despite my disdain for these free foods that cost more than their un-free counterparts, I have found a product that I really REALLY like.

Mary's Gone Crackers

It’s gluten free, low in calorie (13 crackers for 140 cals), and they are delicious by themselves or dipped in hummus.  I imagine I could put my bruschetta topping on them instead of using french bread and it would be deeeelish!

That being said, it’s gluten-free, but not even close to free at the grocery store.  Three and a half bucks gets you six and a half ounces.  Not horrible, mind you, but it’s also not Saltines or Ritz.

We bought a box today, but we also have looked up recipes for sesame crackers and the like. I figure if I can master them, then I can start tweaking them to be more like the Mary’s Gone Crackers kind.

Posted by eumie on July 19th, 2009 under Uncategorized | Comment now »

The Economic Issues and Weight Issues Go Hand in Hand

The other day I was at California Pizza Kitchen with my delicious salmon and vegetables–half on my plate and half already in a to go box.  Why was half of it in a to go box while I was eating the other half you may ask?  Two reasons, really.  Firstly, it’s my safeguard against snarfing down a whole restaurant portion worth of food without even noticing it.  It’s amazing how the combination of food cooked by someone else and stimulating conversation can make one not realize how much one’s eaten.  Or maybe that’s just me.  Secondly, I get two meals for the price.  My 14 dollar meal became two 7 dollar meals.  That I can deal with.

So I got to thinking about restaurants, weight, and pocketbooks.  I am constantly railing on the American restaurant industry in my head or on the internet.  I can cook delicious healthy food in my home, so why can’t an accomplished chef cook delicious healthy food more often than the delicious unhealthy stuff?  Or at least as often.  Also, why can’t there be smaller portion choices?  How many people in America are dieting right now?  I can’t even fathom the number.  Why not cater to them a little? 

So after my California Pizza Kitchen experience, I got to thinking, as I am wont to do.  Why NOT cater to the dieting AND the poor in one fell swoop?  Have a smaller portion menu and charge, oh I don’t know–LESS?  I bet you CPK could get away with selling a smaller portion of the salmon and vegetables for 9 dollars.  I can get a meal for 10 bucks after tax, and I have a reasonable number of calories at the same time!  Plus, CPK charges a little more than half for half the food, and therefore makes more money.  If you think about it, doesn’t it make much more sense? 

I have off and on thought about going back to school and enrolling in culinary classes.  If I had a business mind at all, I would do just that and then try to open a restaurant that did just that.  I’ve thought of all types of variety on the menus.  There could be a section for the delicious, less healthy meals–but in reasonable portions.  There could be the smaller portion menu, the low carb menu, the low cal menu…or I could just mix things in all willy-nilly.  Of course, I don’t have a business mind, so starting a restaurant is about as reasonable a thought as jumping into an active volcano!

What do you do about restaurant eating?  Do you get frustrated with the catering to the skinny-minnies with sky high metabolisms and those who don’t care about health related eating?  Or do you just never eat out?

Posted by eumie on July 17th, 2009 under Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

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