Well Body Here I am

Posted eternalflame30 on April 4th, 2012 | Filed under Uncategorized

I look down from my stomach back up that’s as far as my body will take me. I weigh in at 280 and today at the Doctors Office a woman turned to her Husband and whispered looking at me “Wow she must be due any moment.” Yep that is me I rub my pregnant belly of fat no baby just fat.

Those comments used to bother me years ago when I first started putting on the weight. I wasn’t always big, actually I was very active as in hyper and very thin. I went on Antipsychotic medications for Bipolar years ago and that’s when the weight crept up.

I know I have to loose the weight and I know I have to make a change all together in my eating. No more dreams of M&Ms, Pizza and Pasta more dreams of Broccoli, lettuce and apples. Then I have to think Yum after Brocoli and learn how to not make a disgusted face.

I will be turning 30 July 7th, 2012 and I want to have at least lost twenty from the time now to then. That would make me happy! A small but realistic goal. I constantly thumb through “before and after” pictures of people from the heaviest to healthy weights for inspiration. It makes the journey I’m on not so tiring. It rejuvinates me with hope and I prosper at the hope. So I do Zumba when I can and when I say when I can it’s when all the other health issues don’t get in the way such as bad endometriosis. Yet I need to loose the weight for the Hysterectomy I have been needing since I have been through all options but that’s a different story all together.

I have wonderful support such as my love and my parents. My love he knows what it is like to be big for he has been there before.

So I rub the belly that is filled with fat and think one day I will be able to see my shoes. Funny enough that’s what keeps me going!


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