Kaboom!  Sitting in this coffee shop that i used to call my workplace… i write to initiate a new era.  I am calm, i have clarity, life is beautiful, and 12 days ago i was 159 pounds.  i don’t know what i am now- i will weigh at the 3 week mark.  But let’s focus on more important things… like what i want to do with my life… like possibly staying in the moment now as i write and focusing on today, instead of getting wayyyy ahead of myself and worrying about what i will do in the future, called “My Life”.  I was up at my parents last weekend and we went for a walk through these beautiful gardens and i used the line “when i grow up i want……”.  I used that line obnoxiously through my early 20’s…. but now it’s like, ok…. It IS real life time.  Now or never, what are you going to do?  Are you going to appreciate today?  Are you going to appreciate your youthful skin, and appreciate how “soft” it is (says the boy).  So are you saying i’m fat because i have soft skin?  No i’ve never come back with that line… but interesting how i can turn anything positive into a negative remark.  How ’bout you tell me i’m tight little tamale?  Probably because i’m not a tight little tamale, BUT i DO have soft skin.  So let’s just have gratitude for that for a moment.

What a struggle…. this thinking process of mine.  I tried changing this template thingy but couldn’t find anything that i liked better so i switched back to black.  MAYBE i should design my own instead of complaining and riding on other people’s creations?  Maybe i should just design EVERYTHING myself.  Well, i don’t have the skill or knowledge of what it takes to create a blog anyway…. so in the mean time, you will be reading off of black.  Wouldn’t that be sweet tho?  Just being able to design everything yourself?  I hate going shopping because i can never find what i envision…. i only find crap designs, crap quality.  I just want what i want, the way i want it.  RESULT: i rarely go shopping.

My, i am getting off topic.  Let’s get back to SUMMER is HERE and what i envision is a nice little bike ride this afternoon.  The ball has started rolling again, i have new momentum and a new VISION to my future, and possibilities.  i want to read books, get nice and tanned at the beach, and live blissfully and somehow that weight that i gained while teaching will MAGICALLY disappear.  Yes, i think so.  Summer is for climbing and riding and eating summer fruit.  The fall is for surfing in and around my part-time employment and think of blissful opportunities and brave endings.  I just need to learn how to surf.  i haven’t surfed in years.  The boy says i can use his board.   Sounds like a plan already.  Wow, i don’t think i have ever sounded like such a BUM.  Apparently i don’t care about anything anymore, like volunteering, or getting that job, or just getting ahead.  Yes, this feels quite nice, actually.  I have stopped running, in then mental/emotional sense.

Goals:

1.Read Ph book about food/alkaline/acidic, etc.

2. Just feel good about life and trust that i AM losing weight in this blissful happy state.