Another week has gone by, and i sit here to reflect and recover the events, and my energy, and wonder how i lose time so fast.  Somehow going out tonight seems like far too much energy.  And i am happy to sit and sort through my life… file away the papers and the homework, clean home, get ready for another week.  I was out last night all i could think of was how much i wanted to go home and sleep.  I often wonder how much of my life is spent planning and how much is spent doing.  On my to do list is to make a plan for the week… when will i ride to work/school (on my bike = exercise), when will i drive, when will i get in other forms of exercise, what groceries do i need to get so i can eat well this week… plan ahead of what kinds of things i will want to pack and eat for lunch, when will i get my assigments done this week… but without planning…. life would be a bit of a shit-show, i think.

So another week has gone by…. and i another pound down, yay! 151 pounds.  It feels really good to get here.  I feel like 140 is not that far away anymore.  i feel like i REALLY REALLY want to get under 150… and i think that will be difficult. I find it a bit odd that i am hung up on numbers.

One thing that is weird is… i can’t actually see my body change.  I can tell from clothes… and friends say i look great… but i can’t see it.  I find it weird.  The only thing i have noticed is that my quads are rather built up from riding my bike so much.  I look at old pictures of me and newer pictures of me and definitely see a difference.  Especially when i was in the 170s a few years ago… that’s nice to know.

I think the biggest difference between then and now is… maturity… taking the time to put myself first and know what i want…. instead of doing what everyone else was doing.  Taking the time to look good, eat well, and get exercise in makes me feel really good.  Lately the first thing get compromised has been sleep…. and I get really cranky and am not so nice to be around… so i think i need to fix that this week.  I just have to tell myself that IT’S OK if i don’t get everything done.  As long as i am taking care of myself, that is what counts.  Sounds pretty selfish, i know… but that’s what is working, that’s how i roll these days, and it’s what keeps me happy.