So.

“Begin here.  It is raining… I am here alone for the first time in weeks to take up my ‘real’ life again at last.  This is what is strange–that friends, even passionate love, are not my real life unless there is time alone in which to explore and discover what is happening or what has happened”  –From Journal of a Solitude by May Sarton

It’s been a long time.  I am 161 pounds.  I’m not sure what i was before.  But that doesn’t matter right now.  It’s time to get back… or move forward… i’m not sure which.  Moving on, i think, would be the best way to describe.  Things have been crazy.  My mind has been a bit… uneasy… a man in my life has been a bit… uneasy… and i am here again to take up my real life and move on, moving forward.  I would like to think that i have grown, or that i am growing, and it is all taken as a learning experience.  I would like to think that i can conquer the world…. as soon as i get through my “to do” list posted on the fridge, after the vacuuming and laundry that needs to be done.  Laundry is a funny thing because it is never ‘done’ it is always piling up, it is always needing to be maintained… which is kind of like health and our bodies and our fitness levels.  How are our laundry levels?

I am looking forward to spending some time alone in the near future and read some new books, and let my mind thaw, and relax.  I want to get up early and see the sun rising as  i walk along the streets and parks in this city.  I want to get back on my bike and explore.  I want to go swimming at the outdoor pool when the weather gets nice.  I want to do more yoga and quiet my mind.  I want to travel and be alone in a big city.  Today is the starting point.  Goal: 155 pounds by the end of May.