This morning i slowly crawled out of bed, and stalled as much as possible until i forced myself outside to go for a jog. I hate it when i have to FORCE myself, it’s like i have to convince myself and just resist even more, and then i wait and wait, until it’s 10am, and everyone and their dog is outside and driving around and can see that fat chick in her tight clothes trying to run, and it’s not pretty– every part of me is jiggling in all directions. So that’s how it started, the day of not enjoying myself. I usually tell myself that the dead minimum for going for a jog is 30 minutes even if it’s at walking pace. but today, I let myself off the hook at 20 minutes. My legs felt like lead, I just couldn’t get into it. I hate that. I even took my ipod with me, but it seemed like there was nothing i wanted to listen to. i think i need some new music.

I vowed that I would only weigh myself once a week. Today I have already weighed myself 3 times. why, why, WHY? I finally went grocery shopping yesterday and bought some quality, fresh food. I think i may have bought too much, because now i just want to eat it all so fast ‘before it goes bad’. Ok, let’s face it: i throw out sooo much food from going bad because it’s the quality food that i’m supposed to eat, but i don’t want to eat it, so i don’t eat it. So i’ve ended up having these weird meals today:

• 10:30am mozza cheese, shrimp, and a banana
• 12:30pm 2 cups cornflakes and soy milk
• 4:30pm tea misto, non-fat milk, sugar free syrup
• 6:30pm spinach salad with almonds, dried cranberries, leftover chicken, mushrooms, raspberry vinaigrette, with steamed broccoli and sole which i fried with cornflakes.
• Then i felt like needed something SWEET so i had an apple, but i was already so full that I couldn’t finish the apple. Probably a sign that i shouldn’t have eaten it in the first place.

Now i feel heavy and tired. It’s 7pm, i have a housewarming party to go to tonight which i’m sure is full of really bad food which i will end up eating. Goal: Pick up a diet pepsi on the way and don’t eat anything else tonight!

This is the second day without sugar, yessss! Now i can’t go screwing it up tonight.

PS- I’ve enjoyed reading other people’s blogs, thanks for the inspiration! Drop me a note if you’d like.