So, I’m scrambling to write this before going to work. It’s just after 6:30 and I usually leave right before 7:30. I’m weird, but I like taking a shower at 6 and not having to rush to get ready and yet…I get on the computer for a good half hour or so that I could be sleeping or something. It makes me wonder if I really should forgo the computer on MWF when the gym opens at 6 and get a quick 30 minutes in on the elliptical or something. It would make me run pretty close to time in showering and getting to work by 8 and everything, but it could be possible… I just don’t know if I want that much stress. I’ll see how working out 5+ days a week after work alone will be. That was my ultimate goal, but I slacked last week because A) it was TOM, B) I was afraid of overdoing it with that many times a week and C) I just simply made excuses and was lazy. Not this week! I am uber motivated and even more so since I lost 1.8 pounds!! I never thought I would be motivated by less than a 2 pound loss, but I totally am! I think it has more to do with the fact that last week while it was TOM, I was checking the scale almost daily and I jumped from 225.4 where I was last Tuesday to 227. I was totally beat down by it which made me all the more nervous to get on the scale this morning for my “official” weekly weigh in. I was nervous, but also hopeful because I busted my butt Saturday, Sunday and Monday at the gym.

Those three pretty good workouts at the gym had to be what did it because I did splurge on Saturday. Just as I said, I only had the steak, salad with house dressing and 2-3 pieces of those bread crust things. BUT… I made the mistake of getting overconfident and continuing with my splurge through the afternoon and having popcorn at the movie theater with extra butter. Can you say fattening? Sheesh. However…that was all I ate that day and with the calorie burn (I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and 15 minutes on a stationary bike), I think I was within my calories for the day considering I didn’t eat a single thing more. I hope it doesn’t come back to bite me. Heck, maybe that’s even why I didn’t hit 2 pounds lost, but that’s ok! That pretty much ended my Simple Diet though. Now I just gotta work on getting to 1200 calories a day. Ugh. Because…I have a hard time getting close. I’m doing better than the 800-900 that I originally started off with back last month. Sunday I had 1193 and yesterday…well, I had 1050, but by the end of the day I wasn’t hungry. I will try to hit closer today.

I think I’ve also kind of figured out a workout schedule. Every other day I’ll do water aerobics and the other days I’ll hit up the elliptical. I’m super proud of myself because I initially started on the elliptical and thought I was going to die at 5 minutes. The next time I pushed myself to 15 and then the next to 30. I was pleased with 30 from Saturday… Well, yesterday I pushed to 45! My goal is to do 60 minutes, but I’m afraid of pushing too hard. My legs were really stiff and sore when I got off at 45. The sad thing is that I really didn’t have much resistance. I pushed it up to 4 a couple of times, but then after a couple minutes or so I took it back down to 2. I wonder how this affects calorie burning… I did input that my average heart rate was 155 and a calculator I found online said that it burned 406 calories. Not sure how accurate that is, but I’ll take it! It’s less than MFP said.

Now then, I need to create a workout playlist because I was listening to the radio while I did it and some songs totally motivated me to move. I do worry about them getting old though, so I don’t know… The radio seemed to work although during advertising breaks it was kind of annoying. I tried to focus more on the TV at the gym, but with my luck they were often playing commercials as well! Ah, well.

Here’s to another good week!

What have I become?

February 23rd, 2012

I have no life anymore.

Ok, that’s not entirely true. It just kind of feels like that. Especially today. I’m sure it’s TMI, but it’s that time of month and today was just absolutely¬† miserable for me. The past few days the scale has been slowly inching up (even by fractions to where I’m at 4.2 pounds lost since I started the Simple Diet instead of 5), I was bloated, sick-feeling and just overall depressed and hating myself and my body. I miss having something to come home to even if it’s something as unimportant as my writing. Kind of sad, but I used to live for text roleplaying which is basically writing stories with others online. I seriously used to spend hours each night writing and now… Now I’m lucky if I spend one hour a week. A) I can’t get into it and B) the one person I can get into it with/for is busy herself.

I feel like I’m running myself into the ground with this whole weight loss business. I’m not sleepy per se, just bored and in essence tired. My life is now revolving around my efforts to lose weight be it watching what I eat or figuring out when I’m going to exercise and what I’m going to do. This week I’ve gone to the gym twice and I feel like crap because of it. Never mind that I just joined (and started going) a week ago yesterday. Last week I went Wednesday through Friday, but I say that’s because we (my mom and I) actually joined Tuesday night. This week…I have no excuse. Well, Tuesday I didn’t. Actually, I don’t have an excuse today either. I felt like crap all day today, but then started to feel better as it got closer to the time I got off work. Did I go to the gym though? No! I did however bust my butt at day three of the 30 Day Shred. Still, I don’t feel like I did enough. I feel like I should be working out for at least an hour a day, five times a week. I know I still have Friday-Sunday technically, but I doubt I’ll go every day. Definitely tomorrow and maybe Saturday (because I’ve decided I’m splurging and going out - more on that later), but I don’t know about Sunday. Another thing I’m worrying about tomorrow is what I’ll do at the gym. I’ve primarily been doing water aerobics. Tomorrow there’s Aqua Zumba, but I wasn’t impressed with last week’s. Not only that, I’m not a fan of tampons (sorry if that’s TMI). There is a regular Zumba class, but it’s later in the evening and I’m afraid I’m going to lose motivation if I put off going for an hour or so. I guess I could see how I’m feeling tomorrow. There is the elliptical though. I’ve only used it twice, once for five minutes and then the second time for fifteen which I was pleasantly surprised to get through. If I do it, I’m going to want to do at least thirty minutes. You gotta get your heart rate up and going for 20-30 and I like to aim high. Anyway, I’m afraid I won’t be able to do the full thirty on the elliptical, but I guess we’ll see. One thing that helped me on the treadmill was a¬† distraction like watching TV on DVD. Watching footage from Whitney Houston’s funeral on E! was what helped me through the fifteen minutes on the elliptical the other day. Music is OK, but I’m not sure it would do the trick. Guess it doesn’t hurt to try. We’ll see tomorrow.

So Saturday, I’ve decided that I’m going to “splurge.” I’m itching for a good steak and I’ve done really well for the past week and a half since coming back from my mini vacation. I’m not going to go hog wild though. For one, it’s not going to ruin the day, it’s just going to be the one meal. For another, the only things I’m really splurging on are the salad dressing (which is super thick and rich and just amazing!) and then these garlic buttery crunchy pieces of bread. I could try to limit myself, but in for a penny, in for a pound or whatever the saying is? Though like I said, I’m not going to screw up the whole day. I’m also going to get a veggie for the side with my steak (a small six ounce) and no potatoes, so there is that. It’s sad that I’m looking forward to this meal more than anything else right now. :( This is how lame my life is. Apparently this weight loss business really is business!

Simple Diet Week One Complete!

February 21st, 2012

So, I usually have a hard time sticking to any one diet for whatever reason (though I’m leaning toward boredom), but I’ve actually done really well with Dr. Anderson’s “Simple Diet.” Yesterday I skipped one of the required shakes and I worry about potential consequences, but I guess we’ll see. Overall I’m satisfied throughout the day and I’m definitely pleased with the results from week 1! In the book he tells you to keep a log of your daily intake and I’ve kind of halfway done this, but more than that it’s inspired me to create a spreadsheet for my weight loss period. I have one page for my daily intake (shakes, meals, fruits and veggies, exercise and daily weight), one for weekly losses and then one for overall loss. I considered making one for monthly losses, but nixed that idea because I’m on a strange week rotation of Tuesday-Tuesday and just…dates fall weirdly period.

Anyway! This is going to be brief because I also started Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred today and am going to try (again) to get up at 5:30 to do it tomorrow morning before work. I couldn’t get up to do it today, but I’m hoping I’m successful tomorrow. I also didn’t go to the gym today like I had originally planned - the whole Monday-Friday routine- but I’m also kind of reconsidering that. I’ve been reading a lot of stuff on 3FC and also hearing things through word of mouth about how you shouldn’t workout more than 3 or 4 times a week. Well…ok. I’ll do the gym 4-5 times (maybe) and I’m going to aim for doing the 30DS every morning before work and then whenever I get up and around on the weekend. We’ll see how that goes. I’ve gotta hit the sack though because I’m exhausted and again my alarm is set for 5:30. However, I did want to say huzzah for 5lbs down this week putting me at 9 pounds lost total! While I’m happy about that and I’m still mostly motivated, I’m also still very impatient and trying my best to take this journey one day and one pound at a time.

The Journey Continues

February 18th, 2012

It’s kind of strange because as much as I like writing, I’m not entirely sure what to write here. It’s been over a week since I blogged and it’s obviously high time to do so.

I went on my “mini vacation” from 2/8-2/12 though I didn’t start back on watching what I ate until 2/13. Actually, on 2/8 I did OK watching what I ate and I walked on the treadmill for 40 minutes before heading out of town. Then the weekend was shot to hell because I got emotional and depressed, but you know… I think watching my calories the two weeks before shrunk my stomach and helped me not to go hog wild. I did one night, but that was it really. The others I ate pretty sensibly…just the wrong things! Oh, well! I started fresh on 2/13 and got on the scale and it said I was EXACTLY the same as I was before heading out of town: 230.4 pounds. Crazy, right?

Anyway, back to Monday 2/12. I had an appointment with a weight loss doctor. Suspecting he would prescribe Phentermine, I researched reviews online the week before like a maniac and was absolutely terrified of taking it. Oh, I wasn’t worried about the side effects - who cares about a little heart palpitations and insomnia when you’re losing a ton of weight? - no, I was afraid of gaining the weight back PLUS after going off it. When I expressed my concerns to the doctor, he shrugged and said that yes I would gain it back unless I ran a marathon daily. Yeah. Way to encourage me, doc. Then I asked about the sleeplessness and he said after a few days I shouldn’t have any problem, but if I did he could give me a sleeping pill or something. Ok…let’s just take as many drugs as possible! Then (here’s the clincher) I asked why he doesn’t just advise to eat healthy and exercise. His response? Because of the results are faster. Um, yeah… NO THANKS! Also, he automatically starts you on the highest dose. That was another thing I questioned and he said basically, why not? Total pill pusher obviously. I left with 30 day supply of the 38.75mg Phentermine, but it’s been five days and I haven’t touched it. Instead, I discovered “The Simple Diet,” by James W. Anderson and have lost 4.8 pounds since Tuesday 2/13. I know a lot is water weight, but I don’t care! I’m ecstatic and hoping and praying I continue to lose at least 3 pounds a week.

In addition to “The Simple Diet,” I joined a gym Tuesday night and started going Wednesday. I’ve gone three days now (Wednesday-Friday) and though I’m a little sore, I feel fantastic because of it. I do about an hour of water aerobics and then 30 minutes or so of weights. My goal is to do five days a week (Monday-Friday after work), but I think I’ll probably get bored on the weekends and go too. The only thing is, I’m afraid of burning myself out, so I’m going to try to stay away during the weekend. I was however thinking about going to tan this morning… That actually sounds like a good idea, so I might just do that!

Anywho! Here’s to hoping things continue on this uphill slope. Or should I say downhill slope in regards to my weight? :)

Once and For All

February 5th, 2012

I’m not sure how many times I’ve attempted to “diet” or just simply lose weight, but it’s more times than I can count. Each and every time I got discouraged and gave up. This time I have a goal, a real goal and I hope and pray I can stick with it.

I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I think I started getting chunky as a child when I was about six or seven. I’m actually not at my very biggest now, but close. I’m only a few pounds shy of that because I have actually been doing well for the past couple of weeks and lost a few pounds. Nevertheless, I have a long, long way to go. I have three goals here, with one of them being the biggest: 1) I want to be able to simply be thin (or at least not “overweight”) and physically active, 2) I want to look good at my sister’s wedding in September and 3) I want to enlist in the military. Number three is the most important to me. For all of my young adult life I’ve been searching for something that could define me and trying to figure out what the heck I want to do with my life. Well, I think I’ve found it. I want to join the military and now that I’ve decided that, nothing scares me more than failing. Before I was afraid of failing my weight loss journey, but now I’m afraid of failing my weight loss journey and therein failing my goal of enlisting. I am absolutely terrified and am completely consumed by this fear.

I’m twenty-five years old and I have 75-80 pounds to lose before I reach the Air Force (assuming I go with them) maximum weight requirement for my height of 155 pounds. In other words, I’m 5′ 3″ and I weighed in this past week at 230 pounds. When I started a couple weeks ago, I was around 234-236. Already I’m doing well, but I’m struggling to be patient and not get discouraged and fearful by how “slow” I am progressing. I have never been this motivated before in my life and I hope the motivation sticks around. There are additional factors regarding potential enlistment that play devil’s advocate and discourage me, but I’m doing my best to stick to my diet and exercise.

If there’s anyone out there reading this that can offer any support and/or encouragement, it would be greatly appreciated. I would be happy to do the same for you. In the meantime, I guess I will be chugging along.

On another note, I’m kind of worried about a mini vacation this coming week. I will be out of town for around five days and I worry not just about my diet (which is just watching my calorie intake), but also about not exercising during this time. I might very well be able to exercise, but I’m afraid my motivation will wane because of the vacation and even more so if I have trouble with my diet. My mentality isn’t the greatest and I tend to rationalize that “there’s no point,” if I screw up on one part of my plan, ie: if I eat say pizza instead of salad, what good will it do to workout? I’m probably psyching myself out, but nevertheless, this fear is very real. I’m hoping that since I’ve been so motivated, I will continue to be so even during my vacation. I guess I’ll just have to see. I just hate that it’s so early in my dieting/weight loss journey (week three).