I’m here!
I’m here. Still hanging around 190 - over a month now. I guess 30 lbs is all I’m going to get off with exercise only. I can’t seem to get a grip on the food. I’ll do good for breaky and/or lunch, then about 3:00 it’s all downhill from there. I’m trying to use the kids as motivation for this also, I’ve really noticed in the past 3-4 days that they are both turning into little sugar hounds, and it’s all my fault.
Stress is quite a factor in this, I know. The money situation is not improving, as a matter of fact, it’s worse than it was, which I didn’t think was going to happen. The marital difficulties just keep increasing. That’s really no excuse. The key is that I need to train myself to deal with stress differently - not run off for some candy or dive into some online game to distract myself.
DH’s been doing a lot of nights lately. That makes it extra hard to put together a decent dinner, cause honestly, what’s the point? DS will complain and pick and barely eat and DD will probably eat anyway, but she can’t exactly tell you it was good, bad or indifferent. And I really resent being sole childcare for 12 hrs at a stretch. It’s not like he was busy making money or anything. He watches a LOT of movies and plays several games of his own, I know that much.
I’m trying to convince myself that a box of good n’ plenty from the store is NOT a treat, it’s really just poison, but I’m not getting too far yet.
Steamboat is in 2 weeks. I guess I’m going to still go - it’s all paid for. I will probably have to walk most of it - I can walk at 3.7 MPH no problem, but the second I start to jog, my heart rate goes up over 155 and I go back to walking. It’s ok though, as long as I finish in under 2 hrs, it will still be an accomplishment.
Training is going fine. If you’re on Facebook, you know I did 400 crunches on Saturday. So far, I’m only a little sore today - we’ll see what tomorrow brings. I need to sit down with my trainer and come up with some new goals - I feel like we’re coasting lately. I’m at 10 workouts for the month - not half, but better than April. The only change is I’m do 42 minutes on the elliptical - I no longer count the 5-10 mins warmup on the bike towards my 42 and I don’t allow myself to break for more than 45 seconds or so to drink some water or stretch the damned left calf. The machine loses your workout settings at 1 minute, so that’s a good way to see. I should go downstairs now and do the yoga dvd, but I doubt I will. It’s 9:30 pm, everyone is asleep but me, and I just want to veg out for a bit.
DS graduated from pre-school again Friday. On the academic front, he’ll be way ahead in kindergarten, already reading a bit and starting to do addition/subtraction. On the focus front, he still has a terrible time sitting still and paying attention for long - unless it’s a cartoon. :-( Socially, he’s gotten much more adept. It is a joy to see him at church, interacting with the adults and really feeling at home. At least I’m getting that much out of the church committment. I’m REALLY looking forward to our new pastor starting, my spiritual being is not being fed by most of the current services.
DD finally put together a 2-word combo yesterday — “More, please” (asking for candy of course). I was starting to get a little concerned. I think it’s a combination of the pacifier use up til last month and the fact that Mama is so good at reading her little mind that is making her speech a little slower to come. She is just adorable about clothes and accessories now - really wants barrettes in her hair and to wear certain outfits. I thought she would explode with joy at the shoe store on Thursday. LOL. What a girly girl!
The zoo had their big Mem Day plant sale this weekend. I got 11 good sized plants. Ice plants and sedums and some showy milkweed to start my butterfly garden. Hoping to get them into the ground tomorrow. And get to the gym. Oh, yeah, I got my massage reward for staying under 200 for a month. That was very nice and I signed up for their 6 month package, which we can’t totally afford, but it’s a small price to pay for sanity. And it’s half the price of my old massuese, so that was my justification. I’ve actually been under 200 for 3 months now, if you can believe that!
I keep saying it, but I don’t do it — I really need to get into the habit of writing in here in the morning then shutting the damn computer down for the day. On the days that I do, I get an extraordinary amt of work done. And get some meditation in there too. I did start logging my food again, and that is helping a lot until the cravings kick in in the afternoon.
majestichollyhock said,
May 25, 2009 @ 8:20 am
Hi Sweetie!! HUGS for you, my friend.
Speaking from experience, not having enough income to live is monumentally hard on a marriage and especially men. I am guessing yours is close in age to mine. They are caught in much more old school thinking and even tho they would never admit it they feel they need to provide and when they cant they shut down.
Add in all the regular life, marriage, parenting stuff and it leaves a lot on the woman’s shoulders.
Congrats for being under 200 for 3 months!!! A HUGE success!!! (and my goal)
later, you hot chicka!!!
moonfairy said,
May 25, 2009 @ 9:12 am
My baked apple wasn’t as fantastic as I thought it was going to be. Don’t get me wrong…it was good but something was missing. Maybe a bit undercooked. I really have to find the recipe that I saw. Yesterday’s was off the top of my head.
((hugs)) hoping your situation gets better.
Congrats on the 3 months!
TawnyaInControl said,
May 26, 2009 @ 7:08 am
Hola!!! …Under 200 pounds for 3 months–Congrats!
I have been back to 3fc for about a week–browsing and seeking for the gals from the journal forum. Sheesh, it’s really changed! (I couldn’t get into your blog right away for some reason–technical stuff?) I like this much better though. It seems that the women take more time to say things that are important to them, all the while making the 3fc blogging experience richer.
I’m so glad to see your still posting–and losing! Woot Woot!
Tawnya
laura705 said,
May 26, 2009 @ 12:54 pm
I truly do not envy you stay at home mothers - your job never ends! You really need a break from the care giving, and it’s not fair that you don’t get it. I hope things get better for you. I’m glad you realize the value of the gym and the massages, and you deserve them!
Kelly said,
May 26, 2009 @ 1:41 pm
Woo hoo on the 3 months and the massage!!
I had to chuckle about DD - it is so funny when girls are so “girly” and not at all like their brothers, isn’t it? My DD took FOREVER to choose which pair of sunglasses she wanted this weekend, and she got these silver and rhinestone sandals (Hannah Montana, of course) that she was so excited over. Her hair accessories have to perfectly match, etc. Too cute.
Thanks for your comment. I really don’t feel myself, to be honest. But I don’t know what is going on with me. I know I have put on a few pounds since joining the gym even! and I am not happy about this either. Blah.
chubs35 said,
May 27, 2009 @ 4:46 am
it’s amazing how external factors play into the eating. I’ve been struggling with that for awhile. My downfall is ice cream. It’s my comfort food. Let’s face it. A diet popsicle just doesn’t speak kindly to me. Ice cream is smooth creamy and seductive.
I’m glad you got your massage in. You deserve that. Never stop being kind to yourself.
loosingme said,
June 1, 2009 @ 9:04 am
Boy, I sure missed this post! LOL
So I am reading it today!
Congrats to J….on his graduation! Typical of boys at this age about ability to sit still, but academic progress….he sounds ready for Kindergarten! And too cute about K and the girly stuff! LOL
Sorry to hear about the marital and financial woes…which seem to go hand in had, don’t they? I understand how you feel about being the sole caregiver, but if he isn’t going to step up, that is just the way it is going to be….that is how it has always been for me. Don’t worry, as the kids get older, and start getting involved in sports and stuff, just MAKE it his duty to do. That is what I ended up doing with baseball, and honestly, it was the best thing, it really helped with ds and dh’s relationship. I COULD have done it, but I left it as DHs responsibility, and it really helped my peace of mind. And you know what, they both enjoyed it. Sometimes I think its hard for some men to relate to little kids….they only do what they are asked to do or what they are told to do, and no more. Hang in there, things may change as ds gets older.
I am glad to hear you FINALLY got your massage!!!
I guess, if I were in your shoes with dinner, I would just opt to do LC or something….or cook one day and have leftovers other days. My dh almost NEVER eats dinner with us…never has….not even when it was just me and him.