Confessions of a Bulk Eater

or does it seem like most of us have sort of lost our mojo.  Maybe it’s just me.  I know that the past 4-5 weeks I have been in another place.  I was doing so well and on track and then all of a sudden, I’m not.  I’m all off focus and I can’t seem to get that focus back.  I am not exercising as much (I’m lucky if I run once a week), I am def not counting calories, and no matter how much I gear myself up, I can’t get back into the swing of it.   I haven’t been blogging, which is very unlike me.  Blah….

I need a good swift kick in the ass!!  Maybe once next week is over and done with, I can get back.   Why do I need to wait until after next week?  Well, I’m headed up to see the band again for St. Patty’s Day weekend so the alcohol will be a-flowin’ (those of you on facebook, be ready for pictures!!).   Good news about the band though– the insanely hot guitarist I am in love with WILL be playing that weekend!  Last weekend was supposed to be his last, but both clubs they are playing at next weekend want to throw him a farewell party, so he will be playing both nights!!  WOO HOO!!!!   I’m going to tell myself that it’s because I will be there since I emailed him lamenting the fact that I wouldn’t get to see him (pathetic groupie).  Whatever gets me through the day, right?

Anyway…  I digress.    Mojo — I need it.  I am so close to my goal.  I got into a pair of 14’s last week!!  I can wear shirts I haven’t been able to wear in 3 years!!  And yet… I find myself eating chili cheese nachos at 10pm after gorging on tortilla chips and chocolate earlier in the day.  I have convinced myself that tortilla chips are the work of Satan.  

Ugh… stupid scale.  Well, it’s not really the scales fault.  Could have been the bag of tortilla chips I ate yesterday.   Apparantly the 10 mile bike ride didn’t do anything to counter act it.  Or maybe it did and I had acually gained MORE!  Anyway, it has to stop now.  (Yeah, yeah… I’ve said that before)   I need to start logging everything again.. making sure I am not mindlessly snacking.  Making sure I exercise!!  I was doing so well and then… BAM.

Breakfast:  w/w breakfast quesadilla - 220k

Lunch: Kashi Tuscan Veggie Lasagne - 290k; 2 pcs amish friendship bread - ?

Put on a pair of jeans today — SIZE 14!!    Oh yeah baby!!   Why did I decide to try?  Well, I threw on a pair of comfy 16’s.  These are old and ratty (they are like a 3rd hand me down) but super comfy.  They had been getting big though (I was able to wear them when I was an 18 so I knew they were bigger 16’s)  I decided not to wear them, but I didn’t want to wear any of the jeans in my “wearable” pile.  So I started digging through my “unwearable” for another pair of 16’s since they all are cut differently.  I pulled these out thinking they were 16’s but almost stopped when I saw the tag:  14.   My husband said “try them anyway”   So I did… and they fit GREAT!!   They aren’t tight anywhere, I am comforatable, and I am so happy!!

I suck.    I really could have been down in the 180’s this week.  I could have stayed on track and moved down.  However, that is not the case.  I GAINED 2 lbs over the past week.  ARGGHHH!!!   What happened?  Well, inlaws were in town and I think we went out 2 or 3 times.   Saturday was Valentines Day, and even though I ran in the morning, we ate lunch and dinner out.  Yesterday I was at the Daytona 500 so there was a lot of greasy fair food being eaten.

Not to mention the fact that I haven’t cooked in weeks.  My weekends have been so busy that I really haven’t had time to go to the grocery store so we’ve been eating out or eating leftovers.  For instance, there is left over pizza and such in my refrigerator that will more than likely be eaten for dinner tonight.  I hate when life starts getting so busy.  I don’t know what to do to protect myself from it…or myself. 

I hope everyone is having a great Valentines Day and staying away from the CHOCOLATE!!

I started mine with a 3 mile run that a friend of mine hosted. Then hubby took me shopping to Victoria Secret!! I knew I needed to be fitted for a new bra. WOAH, DID I!! The bra I was wearing was a 38 DD (maybe a DDD). I am now a ….. 38 C!!!!!! WHAT?!! Trust me, I’m happy! Hubby isn’t too happy, but yet proud of me. So I got 2 new bras and some girly underwear.

The best part about the weekend….. Hubby got tickets too….
THE DAYTONA 500!! Oh yeah!! I guess his boss had recieved tickets from the VP and he couldn’t go so offered the tickets to Jake. I am super excited. I mean I’m not a HUGE Nascar fan, but I know enough about it to be interested, and besides… who WOULDN’T want to go to the 500?! It’s the start of race season and one of the biggest races of the year!!! I can’t wait.

Finally stepped on the scale this morning. I usually do my “official” weigh in on Mondays, but it was too cold Monday morning. Then yesterday, I forgot until AFTER I was fully dressed. So today, I did it… 190.6!! At this rate, I may just make my goal of being in the low 180’s by the time I go back to NY in March. I guess I’ll need to be extra diligent in my eating and exercise. Of course I have a weekend of drinking coming up (next weekend) but there will be dancing involved so all the calories I consume in my liquor will be gotten rid of right away!

I ran on Monday night. I made it the full 2 miles without having to stop and walk! WOO!! Helped that I was running with a friend. I will probably go tonight. A friend of mine is hosting a Valentines 5k on Saturday down by the lake so I will more than likely do that.

Oh, and Valentines Day… yeah, get to spend it with the in-laws. Woo. I guess they bought a house down here (they live in TX) so they are coming in this weekend to sign the papers and they want us to see the house. BUT….. my husband told me that he wants to take me shopping this weekend!! He’s been noticing that it is time for me to get some new bras (the ones I have were bought right before I went back to work after having the baby - 2 years and about 30lbs ago) WOO HOO!! He never tells me this, so I am looking forward to it. I’ll take that as my VDay present.

Speaking of… I’ve totally avoided the candy thus far. There aren’t as many people in our office anymore, so there isn’t as much going on. The challenge will be when the kids bring home their things on Friday after their parties. Well, the baby has a party (have to make cookies) My 6yr old just has to bring in cards. In years past, I have confiscated all the candy, eaten all the chocolate myself and then hidden the rest. I will try to avoid the chocolate this year.

Okay, I know… I’ve been a crappy blogger lately. I’ve had a lot going on as of late. Hubby being out of town, work.. blah blah. My appetite has been weird as well. I’ll get hungry, but then when I go to eat, I’m no longer hungry. So I haven’t been eating all that much, but I’ve been losing. Hubby was back today though so I am back on track food wise and cooking wise.

Breakfast: WW Breakfast Quesadilla — 220k
Lunch: Lean Cuisine — guessing 310k
Dinner: Turkey & Chickpea Burgers — 310k

Updated to add that I ate a bowl of cereal around 10pm last night. I was hungry and I knew I was low on my calories. I still ended up low, but oh well.
a few Alexia fries (like 3)

I am low on calories and should eat something else. I also ran 2 miles, so I really should eat something. I just don’t know what. Blah….

I need a new hair color, ladies. I am tired of the red, and need something new. I know this isn’t diet related, but it’s related to my self-image, which is tied to the dieting… and really, this is my blog, so who cares what I write about!!!

So anyway, I need a new hair color. I have a survey going on my facebook page (thanks getupnow for your input — I am leaning towards that actually). So what do you all think? Here’s a recent picture that you can sort of see the hair color I have now:

The picture is a little blurry b/c it was taken with an iphone (which are really cool and I want one now) but you can see the blah red. I colored it a week ago and it looks like that now. It was closer to purple. I just need something new.

**Oh, and I guess I should be forthcoming and let you know that is NOT my husband, just a friend. However, all my best pictures are taken with men other than my husband so I’ll go with it

Okay, I’m sure all the northerners will now start throwing things at me. But really, I’m tired of being cold. This is why I don’t move out of FL… I don’t like to be cold. I don’t want to be cold. So why is it cold?!!

Anyway, I have some news. From Jan 1 - Feb 1, I lost a total of 7 lbs!! YAY!!!! It could have been more if I had been more diligent some weeks, but I am fine with that! Perhaps by the end of Feb, I will be down in the 180’s. I’m hoping running will get easier as the weight keeps coming off…although I feel that I had some of my better runs at a heavier weight. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not eating the right foods to fuel myself now, or what, but it’s a struggle. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to run more than 2 miles. I’d like too, but I just don’t see it now. But I’m not trying to focus on that… trying to focus on not struggling to run 2 miles.

Not much is going on. I didn’t do ANYTHING last week (hence the 2lb gain!) but I am making up for it this week. I did a 2 mile run on Monday and then a 1.5 yesterday. The challenge yesterday… I DID NOT HAVE MY IPOD!! **GASP!!** I had to run sans tunes!! That is very hard for me because my mind starts to wander and I think about a million different things and pretty much lose focus. I was actually having a really good run though! I was feeling good, I was breathing good… probably could have gone further, but I knew if I had turned around and done it again, I would have lost it about 1/4 way through. I decided to quit while I was ahead!