Confessions of a Bulk Eater

I ate within my calories.  I said no to food when I didn’t need it.  Of course, there were times I said yes as well, but it was okay.  I was within my calories.  

I also made it to the gym!  YAY!!  I had my bag to go afterwork, but I was so tired.   I picked up my kids, started going to the gym and then decided not too so turned around.  My son said “Mom, the gym is back that way” and I said yes, but I had changed my mind.  Then he got upset and said he wanted to go to the gym (they have pretty cool kids area) so I said fine and turned around again.  I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and 10 on the bike.  I didn’t do an intense work out, but did a fat burning one so you have to keep your heart rate at a certain range.  Thanks to my nifty heart monitor I don’t have to put my hands on the sensors so I was free to read a book while I did it.  I’m glad I went.  Not sure if I’ll get there tonight, but I’ll try to do something active.

Baby steps……

My husband and I have been taking Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University through our church.  We have never been good at saving and we tend to spend our money and have nothing to show for it.  We figured with the declining economy and just buying a house, it was time to learn how to get ourselves in a better state financially.  It makes me sick to think about the amount of money we have just thrown away throughout the past 12 years.   How does this relate to dieting you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you.  

Yesterday’s lesson was how marketing is targeted to us and how sales people are trained to draw us in.  Dave’s whole thing was to LEARN TO SAY NO!!  We’ve all heard it before.  JUST SAY NO.  I was thinking to myself that this pertains to eating as well.  I am pretty good at saying no to buying things. I will walk into a store, get a armfull or cart full of stuff, and then decide I don’t need it and walk out with nothing.  When it comes to food, I don’t have it.  Put something in front of me, I will eat it.  It doesn’t matter that I’ve just eaten a full meal 20 minutes before, I will eat again and again and again and…. well, you get the picture.  There is something in my brain that shuts down when food is in front of me.  So I am thinking that I have to get into the mentality of just saying no to food.  Will it be hard?  Absolutely.  It’s like a former drug addict (and really, my problem is that food is an addiction to me) saying no to drugs.  My brain will have to start doing it’s job and thinking.  I’ll make it my mantra: justsaynojustsaynojustsaynojustsayno

Breakfast: oatbran - 120k, 1/2 cup blueberries - 40k

Lunch: Vegetable Lasagne - 247k

Snack - flatbread thingy from Jason’s deli that I found hidden in my desk - 50k
As of now (3:04pm) I am WAY down on my calories, and that of course includes dinner which I haven’t eaten yet. I want to run tonight, but I’m defintely not going to get there if I don’t consume some more calories to give me food. I don’t want to just chow on junk food, but at the moment I am so hungry I wouldn’t be able to resist. I must resist the christmas cookies at home and opt for something else like cereal. Suggestions anyone? I have an hour left until I get out of work and that’s when trouble will start.

Dinner - Tomato Alphabet Soup - 175k

1. Run or do some sort of exercise every day - (this will be tough b/c it’s TOM and Christmas and dark when I get home all rolled into one)

2. Stick to eating 1200-1550 calories a day - this will be tough too since it’s Christmas

3. STOP EATING CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!!

I’m trying to get myself under control. It’s time (again). I was so close to being under 200 and then I totally ruined it. I don’t know what the damage is, and I don’t want to know. I’m going to get through this week and next and then I’m going to join the weight loss group I was in back in the summer with my former neighbor. With the paycut I’m facing, I’m having to give up my gym membership. I’m coming to terms with that — IT’S OKAY!! I have taken to running better than I thought so I’ll continue with that. I do have Debbie Siebers Slim in 6, which if you do it consistantly, gives you really good toning results. AND……… since we had been in an upstairs apartment, I totally forgot I had this: DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!!! Oh yeah, it’s time to bust out the dance pad and dance my weight away.

My goal right now is to run 3-4 days a week, and throw either the video or the DDR or BOTH in on the other days. The challenge is to carve out the time to do it.

I miss all you guys. I tried to catch up on everyone’s blog the other day, but ran out of time. We have a short work week this week (THANK GOD) and then next week NO ONE will be in the office, so I’ll be able to get my internet surfing caught up that week!!

Spinning, spinning out of control. I need to get a handle on it, but I’m not sure how to right now.

First off, the time with my dad was great. He did a ton of demo at our house and right now, we have NO landscaping in our yard (except for 1 large oak tree, 4 crepe myrtles, and 2 hedges that didn’t need CPR to stay alive) That seems like a lot, but it’s not. We also have about 30 contractor trash bags lined up on the side of our house full of trees and bushes and mulch waiting to be picked up. We didn’t have time to plant anything, but he is going to draw some stuff up and send it to us so we know what to do.

Secondly, like I said, my eating is out of control. Snacking, snacking, snacking… on junk, junk, junk. I guess the first step is acknowleging the problem, right? Now I have to actually stop.

Things are a little stressful. We found out yesterday that effective Jan 1, everyone in our company will be recieving a 20% pay cut. It’s better than not having any job, but still. That means we have to cut back… and the only place to cut back is our gym memberships. I hate to do it because paying is motivation for going to the gym, but I would rather be able to feed my kids, ya know. So now i have to make myself start running for real outside (SCARY!!) and doing my videos again I guess. It’s just having the motivation — and I sure won’t be doing it first thing in the morning anymore. It will be in the evenings, which will be tough.

And I also need to figure out a way to eat healthy on a budget. Let’s face it, usually the cheapest food is the stuff that isn’t all that great for you (hello, ramen noodles) Does anyone else have any ideas? Anyone else going through this?

So for now I’m just hanging out. I’ve missed you guys over the past week. It will take me awhile to get caught up since my time at work is limited now that I’m doing 4 people’s workloads.

Visit with dad: good.

Working out: not so good (non-existant actually)

Eating: eh… not as good as it could be, but I haven’t totally gone overboard either. I feel okay about it.

It’s going to be one of those weeks.

My dad is coming into town today (YAY!) to see the house for the first time and also to work in our yard. He is going to see if our irrigation system works and then to do some landscaping (he used to own his own landscape/irrigation company and works for an irrigation company now so I feel he is qualified)

Unfortunatly, I’m not going to be able to take any time off. There are only 2 people in our department and I am buried. So I’ll ahve a busy week at work, then in the evenings with my dad. I also have rehersal for our church’s Christmas program on Wednesday (found out last thursday that I am in it), Jake’s Christmas Party on Friday, a dress rehersal for said program and our Housewarming Party on Saturday, and then the program on Sunday. I’ll be cooking all week long for our party on Saturday.

So, I am going to have to be super diligent to not become lax in my eating. I’ve made my menu for the week and I should be able to stick to it unless we end up at someone elses house or out to eat for dinners some nights. I have 2 training sessions scehdueld for this week so that will keep me at the gym even if it’s those two days (I’m hoping to get there more than that, or at least run)

So yesterday was not all that great food wise. I did okay until I got home and then it started. I was making pizza for dinner and I ended up eating more pepperoni than I put on the pizza I think. Plus a few slices of cheese. Then I ate ONE slice of pizza, although that’s something b/c I am a more than one slice sort of girl.

And then I went running. You can see by my post below that it went well…better than expected. I ran 2.25 miles!! I wasn’t planning on going that far, but that’s what happened. I didn’t know how far I was going while I was running. I had to go to church to practice for the ladies ensemble I got roped into so I figured I’d go down and run around the lake before hand. I had an idea of what the distance was but I was sort of surprised when I got home and mapped it out. And at least I burned off the pepperoni that i consumed.

Hopefully today will be a better day:

Breakfast - oatbran and……. peaches - 190

Lunch: Tomato Alphabet Soup - 167, yogurt - 120

Dinner: TBD

I ran 2.25 miles today without meaning too! I meant to go 2. WOW!!!!

Yup, I just ate a bag of Doritos. Not a full size bag mind you, but a bag out of the vending machine. A glorious 250 calorie bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.

I now want more.