Confessions of a Bulk Eater

I love that song. And it pretty much wraps up the story of my weight loss. Anytime I start to gain some progress I totally sabatoge myself. Case in point - the amount and type of food I ate yesterday. Not just at one sitting, but over the course of the day. Crazy. And then of course I feel horrible about myself and it causes me to think dark thoughts and, well, just eat more.

No gym for me this morning. Not because of the above but because I stayed up to late trying to wait for hubby to get home to tell me about the house (the offer fell through on the one that we lost so we are BACK IN THE GAME!!) but by 11:30 I had to go to sleep (I’d been up since 4:30). My alarm went off this morning and I said “there is NO WAY I am getting up” so I set my alarm to go off later. Of course, now I’m sort of used to being up at that hour so I don’t think I really ever went back to sleep. Oh well. I’ll try to get some exercise sometime today. I have to figure out a strategy for a perfect week.

the freaking treadmill shuts itself off! WHA!?! I was doing so well this morning, ladies. I was a little over a mile into my 5k, cruising along at a 5mph pace. My breathing was good, no aches and pains, feeling strong… this NEVER happens - usually there is something! I wanted to keep running but I knew I needed to slow down just a tad to keep going for awhile. I went to reduce the speed and BAM!! All of sudden the treadmill shuts itself down and rebooted - or whatever the hell it does. AUGHHH!!! I was doing so well!! And then just had to stop out of no where. So I have no idea how many calories I had burned (I cover the face of it so I don’t focus on how slow the little thing is going around) or how far I had run. I didn’t want to start over, so I decided I’d just run 2 miles manually. I started but the feeling wasn’t there anymore. So I hopped on the elliptical for 20 minutes and then did some weight machines.

AUGHHH!!! I was strong today! Today was the day I would run 1.5 miles - or maybe two!! I could feel it. And then it was just taken away from me like that. Stupid treadmill.

On another house. Are you seeing a trend?

Here’s a link for photos if you want to see it (just promise not to make an offer yourself and outbid us!!) The only thing we would need to do is paint and get a refrigerator and oven.

I like it but I’m still hoping the financing falls through on that other house and they have to take our bid!

UPDATE — So we put the offer in last night on this house. However, our realtor told us that the agent selling the house that we lost called her to ask if we were still interested. I guess the sellers and the sellers’ agent are having issues with the buyer’s agent. We may get that house yet! Although now hubby and I are split. He likes the new one more, I like the first one. We’ll see what happens

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I ONLY LOST A #!$%$@# POUND!!! You mean to tell me I’ve been getting up at FOUR-EFFING THIRTY in the morning for ONE #!$%$@# POUND?!!!

Okay, let’s be calm and rational about this. What do I want to be — thin or fit? If going to the gym every morning is going to make me a hard body, I can stand to weigh what I do and never be able to wear smaller clothes. Right… just keep telling myself that.

For our staff meeting today they brought in doughunts. They’ve been sitting in the break room all day. Then someone brought in a glazed chocolate chip cake and THAT is sitting in the breakroom along with the doughnuts! AGUHHHHHH!!!!

I am trying very hard to stay away! I have resisted thus far… I only have an hour left. I ate a snack (that I didn’t really want) just so I wouldn’t go and eat a doughnut. Because I totally hear them calling me “Come eat us… we are all alone here in the breakroom. No one would ever know you had one. Just come and take a look! Your favorites are all here!”

GO TO HELL DOUGHNUTS!! I didn’t get to the gym at the freaking butt crack of dawn and lose and hour of sleep just to eat you!!!

**UPDATE*** I didn’t eat any doughnuts!! WOO HOO!! But of course I ate some Doritos when I got home, and a scoop of peanut butter, and some triscuits with cheese. UGHH!!!

I think I have pink eye. I am going to head out to one of those Minute Clinics when they open so I can get some drops.

Diagnosis — definitely pink eye. And it’s starting to move into the other one. So I have drops. Fun!

Exercise: 5k on the treadmill. Added a minute to my time today so ended at 40:40. That’s okay. I wasn’t really into it. I think my optimum workout time is an hour or so AFTER I’ve woken up. Not 20 minutes after waking up.

Food: counting calories again. trying for 1200-1400 but would be happy with less than that

Breakfast
1/2 cup cooked Steel Cut oatmeal - 140k
1/2 cup blueberries - 40k
splenda - 0k
crystal lite - 10k

Snack:
Kashi Go Lean Chocolate Turtle Roll - 190k
**have you ever had one of these?! Don’t bother! I really shouldn’t even count all the calories because I couldn’t eat it all. It tasted good, but it was so hard to chew and eat. No wonder it keeps you “satisfied” all day… it takes all day to eat it!! I didn’t plan on eating it, but I was hungry and when I went to get my prescription, I bought something. It was either that OR eat the doughnuts that were brought in for the staff meeting. I think I’ll take my chances on the hard-to-chew health food!***

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine Southwestern Chicken Panini - 280k
Peach - 68k
Diet Coke — I really didn’t want to drink this but I HAD to wake up somehow. It’s my ONE for the day though (or 2 actually since it was a 16oz) BACK TO WATER!!!

Snack:
100 cal pack — um, 100k

UGH!!! You’d think people would be wanting to sell their houses! Especially since this one is empty. If you don’t want to accept the offer, counter-offer!! Don’t just do nothing. GRRRR… Our realtor is going to contact them today to find out SOMETHING! I’ll keep you posted.

****UPDATE****

We lost the house. I’ll update my House Hunting page when I have time.

Exercise: 45 minutes on elliptical + some hip abductions/adductions

Food: I have decided to start counting calories instead of keeping points. According to my SparkPeople page, I need to consume between 1200-1400 per day for my goal.

Breakfast:
1/2 cup cooked steel cut oatmeal - 140k
1/2 cup blueberries - 40k

Snack:
1 Crystal Light packet (which is actually 2 servings) - 10k

Lunch:
Weight Watchers Smart Ones Angel Hair Marinara - 230k
1 large peach (not sure if large or med so erring on side of caution) - 68k

Snack:
Nabisco 100 Calorie Pack Mr. Salty Chocolate covered pretzels - well, 100k. Duh

Dinner:
Zuchinni Tortellini - 342k
Mixed Greens w/ Mushroom Salad - 62k
3 triscuits - 60k

Total: 1052k

I have major nerves about the house. I hate waiting for things. I always assume the worst so I don’t get my expectations to high. I really hope we hear something tomorrow morning. I don’t want to wait until 5pm tomorrow to find out if they accepted our offer or not. Check out my House Hunting Page to hear the latest.