Confessions of a Bulk Eater

I read on someone else’s blog yesterday that she had eaten a few peices of candy and remembered back to the time when she could eat the whole bowl in one sitting.   It struck a nerve with me and made me start to think about some of the bad food habits I used to have and how things have changed over the past 5 years.  I was amazed when I thought back about what I used to eat….

I remember in high school going to McDonalds and ordering a meal (a meal!) and then going to Taco Bell and ordering ANOTHER meal.  Then I would take them home and eat them both.  Why?!  Well, I couldn’t figure out which I wanted more so I would just eat both.  OMG!!  I would NEVER think about doing that now.  Of course, I was in high school at the time and my metabolism was much faster and I was more active, but I was not skinny.  No, I was still overweight — and it’s no wonder.

I remember several times in college when I had the dorm room (or hall sometimes for that matter) all to myself.  I’d order a pizza and eat the whole thing.   Oh, I would tell myself I would save some of it for the next day but that never happened.  There would never be any left over.    And all the mac and cheese I ate!!  I could demolish a box and still want more.  And this is before they told you to only use 1 TBSP of butter.   I’d use half a stick!!    And to think I still lost weight my freshman year… must have been all the walking to class and the stress.

Then the way I used to cook - OY!!  Although my whole family (both sides) are from Minnesota, they fully embraced the southern way of cooking when they moved here.  This is what I grew up with.  Lots of butter and oil and cream dishes.  Yummy for sure, but not at all healthy.   I cooked that way for years!  No wonder my husband and I gained so much weight when we got married.   Now I hardly ever use oil..  I use it VERY sparingly.   I use butter only to bake (and I don’t do much of that) and I stay away from cream dishes.  In fact, I don’t cook anything unless I have nutritional info on it.  Of course, I will eat out without any nutritional info, but I don’t cook anything unless I have it.

Snacking…  I can and have been known to eat a whole bag of tortilla chips and salsa.  And it’s not just tortilla chips. It’s any kind of chips.   Confession:  I still do that.  It’s my weakness.   It’s why I don’t keep stuff like that in my house.  If it’s there for whatever reason (hubby buys it, party, etc) I will eat it.   I have to find someway to overcome that.   But I LOVE chips and salsa.  It takes a small lead over my love for hummus.  Okay, I guess I haven’t made any great strides in this area.   NO!!  I don’t keep it in my house on a regular basis…  THAT is the progress.

Soda.   This one is a killer.   I always drank regular coke until I started losing weight after my son was born.  Then I switched to diet.    It sounds inane enough, but herein lies the problem.  If I’m at a resteraunt, I don’t drink just one or two glasses.  I am more a 5-10 glass girl –  HOW MANY CALORIES DID I CONSUME WHEN I DRANK REGULAR?!  Gee… just the thought of empty calories now makes me cringe.    When I switched to diet, I never looked back at regular.  I can’t even take a sip of regular now without being turned off.  I know some people crave it, but not me.  But I didn’t change the amount I drank.   I am still working on this one.   I started to cut down my diet coke consumption this year.  Every once in awhile I’ll still drink a soda, but I can’t drink as much as I used too.   Sometimes I can’t even finish a glass.  I’m working on it.  

Those are just some of the things I can think of off the top of my head.  It’s good to look back and see how I have changed things.  Sometimes when weight is coming of slowly, or not at all, we think that we haven’t made any progress.  But that’s just not true.   It’s the little things we change that add up to the big changes in long run.   What’s the saying - “Rome wasn’t built in a day”?   This weight didn’t just jump onto us overnight.  It took years of bad habits.  By changing those habits little by little, we are slowly able to reverse the damage we’ve done.   It’s hard not to get discouraged.  I get discouraged so easily.   Sometimes I feel I am just destined to be fat.  Maybe by doing some remembering of the bad habits, I can see what I’ve changed and gain some perspective… some motivation perhaps.

Breakfast:  1 w/w bagel (2pts) with 1 w/w cream cheese (1pt) — 3 pts total

Snack:  baby carrots - 0 points

Lunch:  Quick Perogie Bake (7pts), cabbage (0pts),  salsa (0pts), dairy free sour cream (2pts), mini rice cakes (2pts) — 11 pts total

Snack:  2 mini pitas (2pts), 2 TBSP hummus (1pt) — 3 pts total                                                                                                        ***Have I ever said how much I LOVE hummus?  I probably did not need this snack (I wasn’t hungry, but planning ahead since the witching hours are upon me — this is the time between leaving work and actually getting supper on the table which can be 2 -3 hours)

Another Snack:  banana (2pts)

Dinner:  Rice with Chickpeas and Tomatos (5pts), ceaser salad (3pts), broccoli (0pts), pizza rolls *blush* (4pts)

 A dissapointing total of 31 points.  I shouldn’t have eaten the pizza rolls.  Why do I feel the need to finish something when the kids don’t eat it?  I would have still been over, but I could justify the banana because I ate it after doing 45 mnutes of Debbie Seibers and before taking the kids to the pool.

I feel like I am ALWAYS starting over.   Will I ever get to the point where I stop starting over and just continue on with what I’ve been doing?  My group started back last Friday though and I have to say, I am extremely happy about that.  I tend to do better when I am surrounded by others doing the same thing.  Regardless if my progress is slow or not, I am inspired by others.

Anyway, the goal for the next 2 weeks until we meet again is to write down everything we eat…. EVERYTHING.   I have to admit, I did not do it over the weekend.  I can’t ever start something on the weekends.  It has to start on Monday.  I’m weird like that.  I am counting points again - that seems to work the best for me.  But what I REALLY want is to actually stay on plan for an ENTIRE week!!  I usually do really well until Friday or so and then the weekend goes in the shitter.  I want to stay on plan for a whole week.  Monday - Sunday.  That is going to be my mini-goal I think.  To stay on my eating plan for an entire week - 7 WHOLE DAYS!!!    It seems near impossible at this point. 

Breakfast - 2 Eggo Lowfat Whole Grain waffles with PB2 4 points
Lunch - Nature’s Salad from Shaker’s Cafe: lettuce, opnion, raisins, mushrooms, califlower, broccoli, sprouts, tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, croutons with Sweet and Sour French dressing. Healthy except for the dressing. There isn’t that much cheese on it and the croutons aren’t THAT bad. I’m not sure how many points it is. Maybe 15 at the most?

Snack - banana, 3 blackberries

Dinner - Quick Perogie Bake (low fat perogies, reduced fat cheese, mushrooms, onion, bacos) 7pts, cabbage - 0 points

Snack - not that I needed it, but I had a mini-pita and some hummus b/c I am totally addicted to hummus.  I could live on it, I LOVE it!!  Probably a total of 3 points.

the m&m’s are still hanging on my wall.  I wanted Indiana Jonesn more than the m&m’s.

 I haven’t written much lately.  Things are a little weird here.  I’m just sort of coasting along.  Not sure if I’ve gained or lost or stayed the same over the past few weeks.  I’ll find out Friday.  I am still in my 16 jeans though!!