Confessions of a Bulk Eater

I made this for supper last night and I wanted to share it with you.  I can’t take the credit for it though.  This is courtesy of Susan at Fat Free Vegan Kitchen. It is SO yummy and nutritious!! I highly reccommend it! It was hard for me not to eat the whole pot!!!

White Bean and Garlic Stew

2 15-ounce cans cannellini or great northern beans (about 3 cups), rinsed and drained
1 head garlic (the whole bulb–15-20 cloves)
2 tablespoons water
3-4 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 medium yellow onions, chopped
1 14-ounce can diced tomatoes
2 bay leaves
1 cup water
1 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup fresh parsley
1 tablespoon lemon juice

Break the garlic bulb into cloves and peel off the skin. If you’d like, chop one of the cloves, but leave the others whole. If some of the cloves are very large, you may cut them in half lengthwise.

Spray a large, non-stick pan lightly with olive oil. Add the onion and sauté until it turns a rich, medium-brown, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and carrots and sauté for 1 more minute.

Add the beans, tomatoes, bay leaves, and water. Cover the pot and simmer for about an hour, adding water if it gets too thick.

Stir in the salt and pepper. If you’re serving the stew right away, add all the parsley and the lemon juice. If you’re serving it later or at room temperature, add the parsley and lemon juice right before serving.

Serve over brown rice. Makes 6 servings. Each contains: 246 Calories (kcal); 1g Total Fat; (3% calories from fat); 15g Protein; 47g Carbohydrate; 0mg Cholesterol; 385mg Sodium; 15g Fiber

I had to go to bed last night at a crazy early hour just so I wouldn’t be tempted to eat.  I was feeling a little hungry, but wasn’t sure if it was real hunger or not.  I don’t think it was.  I was salivating over a pizza commercial that was on TV, which made me realize it wasn’t really hunger.  I just wanted to eat, and to eat something I shouldn’t be eating.  So I went to bed.

Daily Point Allowance: 26

•  WW Boston Creme yogurt - 1
• muffin - 4
• vegetable enchilada - 4
• 1/2 cup rice - 2
• tangelo - 1
• baked tostitos/ salsa - 4
• Nutz Over Chocolate Luna Bar - 3
• 1 herb flatout- 1
• 1 TBSP tofutti cream cheese - 1
• 1/2 cup brown rice - 2
• 1 cup White Bean and Garlic Stew (YUM YUM YUM) - 4

Total Points used: 27 points

Not bad at all.  Well within my points range since I have an extra 35 a week and I rarely ever get close to using them.  I don’t like using them or even remembering that I have them.  It tends to give me some sort of justification to eat more.  That’s one thing I definitely don’t need- an excuse to eat more.

This journey is all about choices.   We can choose what we eat, we can choose what we don’t eat.  For instance, yesterday I chose to go to lunch with my co-workers.  It’s my downfall.  I have a hard time saying no.  I had brought my lunch, but I went along anyway.  I chose to get only soup and salad.  This is HUGE for me because normally when I go out to a resturant, healthy eating goes out the window.  I chose to eat chips and salsa AND 1/4 box of cheezits when I got home because I was hungry (I mean, let’s face it.  Soup and salad doesn’t get you very far).  Then I chose to eat dinner too, even though I wasn’t hungry.

It’s all about choices.  However, when I actually wrote down everything I had eaten and the points value, I realized I had probably stayed within my points if not gone a little off.  Granted, I don’t know how many points the soup and salad were.  It was a broth soup (chicken fajita) so it was probably very little.  The chicken was the bulk of the points. My salad would have been low except I got the house dressing which is ranch with crabmeat in it.   But it was still all about choices.  I could have chosen to get the chicken nachos or the loaded cheese fries, or even a burger and totally blown it for the day in one sitting.

 Good choices….   that’s what it’s all about.

Ugh, I am so hungry.  Why is it that I can eat healthy and feel like my stomach is going to eat itself from the inside out?  Here’s what I have eaten today:

• Weight Watchers Ameretto Cheesecake yogurt (YUM YUM) - 1pt
• S’mores Luna Bar - 3pts
• Smart Ones Fiesta Quesadilla - 4pts
• 1 cup Progresso Southwestern Style soup - 0pts
• 1 small tangelo - 1 pt
• Smart Ones Fiesta Quesadilla (yeah, I know, but I was hungry) - 4pts
• 4 hershey kisses - 2pts
• broccoli/cauliflower and some basalmic vinegar - 0pts
• 1 vegetartian enchilada - 4pts
• 1/2 cup yellow rice - 2pts
• Baked Tostitos - 4pts

That gives me a total of 25 points, which is one less than my points range of 26.  Not sure if I will eat something else or not.  I have some 1pt ice cream Weight Watcher bars that I could eat if I want too.  I hate eating after dinner.  It tends to open the flood gates of snacking.

Why is it that I can do so well on an eating plan during the week and then totally blow it or almost blow it on the weekends?   I actually know the answers to that question.  Husband, kids, and no structure.  It’s one thing to be at work during the week and stick to an eating plan.  You know when you are eating, what you are eating and you have some structure.  The weekends are different.  You are sitting at home with the refrigerator and pantry just sitting in the other room waiting for you to peek in.   You have kids snacking all day, you have a husband wanting to go eat something besides what you are cooking.

That’s my battle.  I have yet to figure out how to win it.  I don’t even have a battleplan.  Although I didn’t eat according to my points yesterday, I did exercise.   We went to Animal Kingdom in the afternoon  and walked around for awhile.  We also went and played volleyball last night.  That felt great; it had been about 7 months or so since I’d played.   Of course we went and ate Chinese for lunch today.   My husband had been bugging me for about 2 weeks to eat Chinese.  I relented today just to get him off my back.   And now we are waiting for pizza…it is Super Bowl Sunday.  He wanted “football food” even though I was prepared to cook.   I’m not digging pizza though.  It may be easy to have some self control tonight.

But tomorrow is Monday: a new day, a new week for my eating plan.  I am down to 217.  I started this journey at 223.  I have 6 weeks until my trip to Rochester.  I want to be at 200 or below by then.  Doubtful, but I am at least going to try.

Well, it’s out there.  My weight loss journey is now out there on the web for all to see.  No longer is it my own private battle.  I’ve shared it with the world.  Now whether the world wants to share it with me, that’s up to them.  As long as I know though that there is a slim possibilty someone is travelling this journey with me, I’ll put it out there.  No more hiding, no more denial.  Sort of a scary thought.   Accountability to the world…or at least this community.

 So a little about me.   As my title shows, this is my third time down this weight loss path.  I’ve always been a “large” girl.  I was always the “fat friend” in high school.  My friends were always these skinny little things.  It sucked.. I would have loved to share clothes as all high school girls love to do.  That never happened.  I can’t say I was unhealthy though.   I was extremely active.  I played three seasons of sports (volleyball, basketball, and softball) all 4 years of high school.  I was active during the summer.  In fact, I see pictures now and realize how in shape I actually was back then.  

When I became pregnant with my first child at the age of 26, I was weighing in at about 240 or so and wearing a size 22.  THANKFULLY, I only gained about 15-20 lbs with him.  I was 260 when I gave birth and in a 24.   The weight came off slowly at first, but then some unforseen circumstances threw me into a tailspin and I lost about 20lbs due to stress.  After that I figured I should keep going.  I joined Weight Watchers and ended up losing about 80lbs altogther.  

The second journey started about 3 years ago.  I realized that I had put back on some weight.  I had gone from being in a 12-almost 10- back to wearing a 16.  I wasn’t happy with myself, so I went back to Weight Watchers.  A few months had gone by and I realized I wasn’t losing, I was GAINING!!  How could this be?  I was eating right, staying within my points, exercising.  How could I be gaining weight?!  I was pregnant again.  After my pregnancy, I wanted to drop the weight again.  I joined weight watchers about 3 months after my daughter was born.  The weight came off so slowly. I dropped about 10lbs, but then had to quit due to financial issues.    I wasn’t where I wanted to be.  I had to be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding and once again I was the “fat friend.”  I hate that feeling.

So here I am the third time.  I have joined a weight loss group that one of my old Weight Watcher leaders is doing on the side.  It’s free.  Since I joined about 4 weeks ago, I’ve dropped about 7lbs.  I’m going to stick with it this time.  I have a closet full of clothes I haven’t worn since I became pregnant.  It’s time to get serious.  So here I am!  Hopefully some accountability will help.

What will you see here?  A food journal, some words of encouragement, frustration.  Maybe just some everyday mundane things.  Enjoy!